Why did my daughter run away and how can we help our family?

[chefruthie]

My prayers are with you Nicole. Thank you for keeping us updated.

Ruthie

 

[ahammons]

You and your family are in my prayers!

 

[nikked]

Just got off the phone with Tony. I hated to fill him on everything, but we promised each other that we wouldn't try to "protect" each other. That's been the one issue in our marriage that we have strugged with...feeling the need to protect the other from troubling things. So, we talked it out as much as we could in our allotted time, and will talk more tomorrow.

It's a good thing he's in Iraq (NEVER thought I'd say that), or the fella involved would be hurting and my DH would be in trouble!

Thanks again, everyone...

 

[lacychef]

Thanks for keeping us updated Nikki....hang in there!

 

[peichef]

Nicole, I just found this thread. My prayers are with you, your children and your husband. I'd been praying for you already, ever since I noticed one of your posts mentioning your husband. You are so very brave and strong to be dealing with all that you are. Please know how many of us, from so far away, hold you up in our thoughts and prayers.
Diane, that was a truly beautiful prayer that you posted. My dad is a minister with a real gift for prayer and I know that prayer you posted would do him proud! It was beautiful and powerful. And all I can say to it is "AMEN".

 

[abrahamlaur]

i'm praying for you nicole. my hubby is in the army also and going over to iraq for his second tour at the end of the month, i know how it is to worry about them, deal with them being away and yet trying to handle things at home without too much drama or whatever. i hope your daughter makes some progress and things can be resolved etc soon. keep your chin up, rely on god that your daughter will be fine, in the long run. he knows the whole story

 

[chefkristin]

Still praying for all of you!

 

[nikked]

Thanks everyone...

 

[KellyTheChef]

Just checking on you and your daugher Nicole. I pray that everything works out...amazing how God handled your child care and driving needs...He has every aspect of your life in His hands!

And I have to say a BIG AMEN to Diane's prayer...she is so gifted at saying everything that is in our hearts!

 

[mommyhugz1978]

I am so sorry Nicole!! I am glad that they found her and I hope that she is able to get the help that she needs!!! I will keep you and your family in our prayers!!!

 

[nikked]

Update...

She's still in, and very hard to read. I haven't seen her yet, but should see her tomorrow afternoon. I had a telephone conference with the therapist today, and filled her in on Mary's history (it's long and complicated). I'm hoping they'll be able to put the puzzle together where we haven't been.

They are looking at possibly medicating her, but I should know more about that tomorrow. We just don't know what is going on yet.

Thank you for your continued prayers, support and friendship. I truly appreciate it and am very grateful for all y'all.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Prayers for you Nicole.

 

[quiverfull7]

Thanks for keeping us up to date Nicole! We'll continue to pray ... especially that she will take off all her masks and get real. Also for tomorrow if you get to see one another... Jesus will be right there with you... try to see her through His eyes... She will feel His love and your's... even if she doesn't let you know it.

 

[nikked]

Update

Had a counseling today with Mary and a therapist. It was OK, but definitely not great. She played with the baby the whole time, and had some very odd ideas about what should happen. I have to go back in on Friday. I keep thinking that they'll give me an idea of how long, but they haven't yet. I've told them that if it's going to be longer than a week, I needed to go home and do counseling over the phone, but they don't seem to get the importance of the other two children.

She hasn't even seen a psychiatrist yet, but they're talking about releasing her on Friday, without further intreatment, which just totally overwhelms me at this time.

Please continue praying. Thank you so much.

 

[dannyzmom]

I am so sorry youre having to go thru all of this. Big hugs to you.

 

[katie0128]

Nikke - How did things go on Friday?

 

[nikked]

Update...Thanks for being patient, everyone. I didn't post last night. It was SUCH a long day. It took almost 2 hours to go the last 30 miles to home. That seems to happen to me a lot when coming back from AZ.

Anyways...

Things went okay, but not great at our final session at the hospital. We have an uneasy "truce" at this point, and everything is in a holding pattern.

There's a wonderful nationwide program called "Teen Challenge" that has camps in NM. The program was started by the guy from the Cross and the Switchblade book, for those of you that are familiar. It is an 18-24 month long program that teaches responsibility, vocation, living on their own, how to deal with problems, etc. The also have a highschool that uses A.C.E. curriculem so the girls can actually get their high school diplomas and not a GED.

It's located on 60 acres, and sounds beautiful. We have a telephone interview with them on Tuesday. They just had their annual banquet (the day after Mary's 16th), and had several graduate from the program, so they have room for Mary.

Please be praying for wisdom on both sides as we look at this program and they look at us...and for some semblance of peace in the house as we try to work through all of this. Also, please remember Tony through all this. As tough as it's been for me, it's been much worse for him being so far away...

Thank y'all so much for checking in with me and for praying. I can not tell you how much this site and everyone on it means to me.

Nicole :yuck: ... trying to be at least ... can't wait to get back to

 

[lacychef]

Keep hangin' in there! That place sounds great....good luck with the decisions you have to make

 

[nikked]

Nikke - How did things go on Friday?

So, Katie...

How many posts a day have you done to earn the YELLOW star so quickly?!

Does that qualify you as a "post slut"?...and have you gotten the T-Shirt yet?

Inquiring minds want to know!!!

Congratulations...

 

[KellyTheChef]

Nicole~

I pray that if this camp will help your daughter that the Lord would open up all of the doors necessary to get her there!

I pray that you can continue to show her love even through your hurt, anger, and patience that has long since been used up! It is so tiring and stressful to deal with a teenager who is either pent up and not speaking or who is spouting out venum at those around them. (Um, do I sound like I have been in shoes similar to yours!?!?!) When all you want to do is scream, please take a moment, go in your bedroom, and collect yourself. As much as we love our children, they can drive us crazy. Keep focused on the fact that we serve a God who is in control of ALL parts of our lives. He can...and He WILL get all of you through this situation.

{{{{{Hugs to you and your daughter, oh! and Tony too!!}}}}}

 

[katie0128]

So, Katie...

How many posts a day have you done to earn the YELLOW star so quickly?!

Does that qualify you as a "post slut"?...and have you gotten the T-Shirt yet?

Inquiring minds want to know!!!

Congratulations...

WAAAAAY too many! Of course, I've been MUCH better lately. As far as being a PS, I'm still a "novice" in that arena... especially when you look at ChefAnn's post count!! YIKES!!! If (listen to me... if... haha... most like WHEN) my posts go over 5,000... THEN I'll consider myself a PS and spring for a tshirt. DH isn't amused by that title, so I think I'd only be able to wear it at PC stuff... guess it will be in Chicago next year!

 

[katie0128]

What time is your phone interview on Tuesday (and what time zone)? I'll set a reminder on my computer to offer up a prayer for you at that time. How are your other daughters doing with all of this? How much do they know and/or understand about what is happening? Other than keeping you ALL in prayer, is there anything else we can do for any of you?

 

[nikked]

What time is your phone interview on Tuesday (and what time zone)? I'll set a reminder on my computer to offer up a prayer for you at that time. How are your other daughters doing with all of this? How much do they know and/or understand about what is happening? Other than keeping you ALL in prayer, is there anything else we can do for any of you?

The call is at 2 pm, MST.

They're glad to home, and none the worse for wear. It's wonderful to be young and oblivious.

The six year old is having difficulties, though. As we dig a little deeper, we are discovering that Mary has involved in a lot of her little secrets. It's been hard to get Theresa to share, because she loves her big sister so much. So, we're working through all that slowly.

Prayer is the main thing we need, but I will definitely let y'all know if I need anything else.

Thanks again for everything!

 

[cpaylor]

You have my prayers! Best of luck to you and your family. Be strong and hang in there, it will all work out in the long run. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle....we usually just don't know we can handle it at the time.

 

[nikked]

Update...So......

After a perfectly lovely, but totally fake (and we knew it) day yesterday, Mary kept telling me that I needed to go to sleep because I was SO tired, and she didn't want me to be in bad shape tomorrow. She put the clothes in the dryer, put leftovers away, hugged and kissed me, etc.

I'm no dummy, and I totally didn't buy it. I took a shower (10 minutes or so) after she went to bed, then checked on her...surprise, surprise (NOT) she was gone.

Immediately called the base police, and discovered yet another benefit of living on base! Had an IMMEDIATE response...someone was at the house within 5 minutes, maybe 10. I think every cop on base was looking for her!

A good friend of mine sing: I get by with a little help from my friends:sing: ) [thanks, Greg!) went looking for her and found her quickly.

According to Mary, she was walking around to visit her old walking routes and to "say goodbye" to the base. She wasn't planning on running. On her side, she didn't have a backpack, and she didn't steel anything, so it's possible she was actually telling the truth, but I don't think we'll ever know.

I asked her if she thought of asking me, and her response was she didn't think I would let her go. To which I replied that I wouldn't have let her go at 10 o'clock at night, but I would have been more than happy to let her go in the morning.

I told her to stop making assumptions about what I will and will not do and to give me a chance.

There was a lot said last night, and we didn't get to bed until after 2 am, so we're quite exhausted. Had to cancel yet another physical therapy appointment, which really bums me out.

She says she does want to go to Teen Challenge, so the interview is still on for 2 this afternoon.

Thanks again for all your prayers and support...

 

[katie0128]

You are on my computer alarm system to pop up at 2p PST (4p EST) and I'll offer up a prayer for you ALL!

 

[nikked]

Nothing is instant right now...and I WANT it to be!Had a good interview yesterday. I really like the lady's approach...it was kind of a Dr. Phil's "and how's that working for ya?" kind of thing. Made Mary really look at what she's been doing.

She was given an assignment to ready Psalms and Proverbs (the corresponding day...on the 9th, read the ninth chapers) and write down thoughts on how it can help her acheive her goals and get out of the mess she's in.

She hasn't read the Bible in a long time...it was nice to see her do it.

We have a second interview on Thursday at 3:45 to go over her responses. If they accept her, the process is 2-4 weeks, because they require exams. Eye, dental and a "female" exam to check for STDs. After she has that exam, she has to be with an adult at ALL times to make sure she doesn't exposed after the fact. How long it takes to get her in depends on how long it takes me to do everything.

So, keep on praying, ladies (and gents). We need it!

Thanks...

 

[chefann]

Sounds like things are rolling. Any way you can schedule those appointments now, while you wait for word? Might as well get a head start on them.

And it sounds like the hardest part will be keeping her under watch after the exams are done.

 

[nikked]

Yeah, but I have to wait for the paperwork before she can actually HAVE the appointments, because there are things for the doctors to fill out, so I have to wait.

I have an appointment for her at the Women's Clinic on base already, but it's not until the 29th...so I'm trying to get her an appointment with someone sooner, without it costing me a fortune. As soon as I know what's happening on Thursday, and how long it will take to get the applications, I'll start scheduling...

Thanks, y'all!

 

[crystalscookingnow]

You're all still in my prayers, Nicole. I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this, but it's a good thing to get everything worked out & out in the open!

((((Hugs))))
Crystal