theOfficial Hijacking Threads Hijack Thread

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

<snip for brevity>I'm not angry either but I really get tired of the left and right crap. The liberals and the conservative crap. Labels are so counter productive. My best friend is on the opposite end of the political scale than I am. I have no problem saying that some Dem. politicians are idiots, but there seems that those that support Rep. have a very difficult time admitting that there are some Rep. politicians that are idiots too.

<snip>

My irritation is the media. I want to know all about what happened at VTech too, but it is NON-STOP 24 hours a day dragging everyone in front of the camera. We are turning into a nation that thrives on tragedy and keeps barfing it out. Even our local media posted on their website...if anyone has any ties to V Tech...call us, e-mail us!!!
<snip>

[soapbox mode]
I think we all pretty well know what we are, labels or no. When I was in college, I was "moderate" and probably leaned more left, in fact, a lot of what the Democratic party was offering reflected my values - end the war in Viet Nam (although I would have preferred to win it instead of wimping out) and (in those days) both the Dems and the ACLU expressed the value of "I disagree with you but will defend your right to say it."

I didn't change - I still pretty much hold the same values as I did in college but with the shift in the parties, I find myself embraced by the Republicans while the Democratic party has moved very far to the left. Today, it's the left that is promoting censorship (a la Al Sharpton) while it's the right that exrpesses "I disagree with you but will defend your right to say it." It's the left that wants to bring back the stupid "fairness doctrine" which is anything but fair, which is why it went away years ago.

One of my good friends openly professes to be a "liberal" (his term) and his company gives away millions of dollars every year to lots of lost (and IMHO, some pretty goofy) causes but they also send about a $1 million to Jamacan relief every year. I admire his dedication to his causes.

The other thing about left-right relationships these days is how we have become polarized and free discussion has degenerated into hate and name calling. It used to be that a Republican and a Democrat could argue all day long in the Senate, and at the gavel, walk across the street and have a beer together. Not anymore - they all seem to hate one another. You are correct - there are embarrassments to both parties.

Want an example? Sean Hannity has a feature on his show called "The Hate Hannity Hot Line." He publishes a phone number, with an answering machine, where anyone can call and leave a message for him. He plays some of the messages on his show. The vile hatred those people spew are things I can't imagine saying to my worst enemy - some of those people are seriously deranged. Granted, he picks the worst to air but the fact anyone can say those things is shocking. While some people may be outrageous to see if they can just get on the air, one has to marvel at even being able to conceive such things. You can hear the feature at the bottom of the hour of his show, if you don't want to listen to the rest of his show.

The state of the media in this country is pathetic. The JibJab cartoon What We Call The News is too true to be funny.

The rush to get to air "First with the worst" just sickens me. NBC news was the lucky recipient of the diatribe of the V-Tech shooter. They chose to air parts of it when it should have just been buried. Playing the ravings of the madman played right into his hands - he was looking for immortality and now, thanks to NBC, he's got it.
[/soapbox mode]

 

[Paige Dixon]

Anybody have a closet just for shoes?

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

No, because I keep my shoes on trees. People leaf them alone that way.

 

[genburk]

What about the birds? I guess if you have white dress shoes, you can just use a paper towel and wipe up the 'polish'.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

No problem - the birds in my area are well heeled.

 

[chefann]

So guess what I did on Tuesday?


I shot a promo for the local news!

A coworker and I were outside, eating our free ice cream (Tuesday was Free Cone Day and Ben and Jerry's, and there's a B&J in our building). We saw that they had finally put down sod in the park across the street where the ice rink had been over the winter, so we decided to walk over and check it out. A crew from the local Fox affiliate was shooting promos and they stopped us.

They mentioned that they were looking for people dresed for spring (no jackets), and there sure were a lot of people walking around with ice cream that afternoon.

"You're kidding, right?"

"What?"

"It's free cone day at Ben and Jerry's. If you go right up alongside the building, you'll see a couple hundred people in line."

So they asked about the morning news crew and I stretched the truth and said that I watched them. When in reality, I prefer another local station, but DH will turn on this one. I affectionately refer to them as "Fox 2: Find out what's killing you!" because of their sensationalist news teasers. But they're better than Channel 7: Detroit's homeliest news team.

Anyhoo-- we had a few quotes that the producer just ate up. And had to overenthusiastically shout their morning slogan: All Local, All Morning!, plus "Who's your Tiger?" which is being used for the second year in a row to encourage people to watch Tigers games.

Now I'm stuck watching their darn news to try to catch the spot.

 

[baychef]

KG...thanks for the awesome post on politics. I agree...everyone used to have their own opionion and then able to deal with each other, but now, it is out and out war of the words.

My rant on the media today is the playing of Alec Baldwin's conversation with his pre-teen daughter. Reporters are just tsk,tsk, tsking him. What I want to know is...what did the little brat say to him before he went off on her? Anyone who has raised children through the teens has been through this. I love my son and we will be going to Atlantis together. He will turn 17 in the Bahamas. He is MUCH easier to deal with now than the ages of 10 through 15. I had always dreaded the age of 16, but I have found that 16 is a joy compaired to the tween years!

Ok...off my high horse, judgemental (emphasis on mental) soapbox!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Alec Baldwin is also an idiot, in just about the same category as Don Imus. (I'm still waiting for Baldwin to fulfill his promise that he would move to Europe if George Bush was re-elected.) Even though he is an idiot and I have no use for the blowhard, I will still defend his right to be an idiot and say what he wants. What Baldwin said was shocking, but anyone who has ever hit a level of complete frustration with their kid understands that. Personally, I think his kid, or her mother, or whoever it was that leaked the message to the press is the one who should be pilloried more than Baldwin. People who use children as weapons in a divorce or custody battle make me sick.The guy who needs to be called out is Dingy Harry Reid. It's one thing to have the right of free speech, and another thing to say something bordering on treasonous. Notice how fast he's trying to backtrack from his "...the war is lost..." quote of yesterday? Of course, Al Jezira is all over that one - what a surprise.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

KG...thanks for the awesome post on politics. I agree...everyone used to have their own opionion and then able to deal with each other, but now, it is out and out war of the words.

Ann, the war of words amazes me. I was just up on amazon.com looking for something else when, as a result of a search, I was suddenly presented with books that are obviously written for, and by, people from the left. Look at these titles:

The I Hate Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, Sean Hannity. . . by Clint Willis

Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly by Joseph Minton Amann

The Bush - Haters Handbook: A Guide to the Most Appalling Presidency of the Past 100 Years by Jack Huberman

The I Hate Dick Cheney, John Ashcroft, Donald Rumsfeld, Condi Rice. . . Reader: Behind the Bush Cabal's War on America (The "I Hate" Series) by Clint Willis

Some of these people are just a little obsessed, wouldn't you say? There's a lot of people on the left (and right, for that matter) that I don't agree with, but I certainly don't hate them, nor am I as obsessed with them!

 

[Paige Dixon]

My dentist is totally hot.

 

[rennea]

I get a kick out of smoking/non-smoking areas in restaurants. That's like having peeing/no peeing sections in a swimming pool.

http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/happy0009.gif
Oh my gosh KG, thanks you made my evening. LMAO

 

[rennea]

My dentist is totally hot.

You don't say!! You should meet my doctor!! Hotty BIG time

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

My dentist is just a nice old guy. He used to have an assistant who was hot hot hot - she wouldn't have had to ask me twice.

 

[raebates]

My dentist is totally hot.

My gynecologist is Bill Murray.Actually, he goes by Bruce, but his full name is William Bruce Murray. He actually does a passable Bill Murray impression. His Carl from Caddy Shack is dead on. He's a big movie buff, so we banter lines during my exam. Last time it was Napoleon Dynamite and Airplane.

 

[legacypc46]

Wow Rae.....not sure that's a scenario I really want to picture!

But of all the things that could use a little humor associated with 'em, GYN exams are probably near the top of the list!

Kris

 

[raebates]

My thought, too. I appreciate that he's got a sense of humor. More important, he's also an excellent doctor.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

You've got one particular Bill Murray line from Caddyshack going through my head for the last hour or so, and even I have enough decorum to not repeat it here.

 

[raebates]

Wow, turnabout is fair play, KG. I mean, after all the times you got something really inappropriate stuck in my head, it's only fair.BTW, I'm fairly certain I know which line it is. Yes, it's best if you not repeat it here.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

And it has little to do with Mr. Gopher.

 

[raebates]

I told my DH what you said about the smoking/non-smoking and peeing/non-peeing sections. He laughed with sound!



That's a great accomplishment. Our DS and I are always striving to make him laugh with sound. His laugh progression goes like this:

If it's funny - shoulders shake with a bit of a wheezing breathing sound

If it's really funny - Mugsly laugh (I KNOW you remember that goofy little cartoon dog.)

If it's hysterical - actual, audible sound


I, on the other hand, laugh really long and loud at nearly everything. We're definitely an odd pair--odd individually and odd together.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

The Kat Lady and I have a strange and wonderful relationship.Which one of us is strange, and which one of us is wonderful, can vary from day to day.

 

[raebates]

I have no doubt, KG!

 

[chefann]

My bird laughs. And she sounds like me when she does.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Does your bird meow?My Scottish Terrierist is trying to meow - it took me awhile to figure out what kind of weird sound he was making, but he wants to attract the attention of Shadow, the black cat, so he's trying to learn a foreign language.

 

[baychef]

Now if someone doesn't comment here...KG will be the official thread killer of this thread. So I decided to step up and remind him about that women/last word thingy!

Word up!

 

[BethCooks4U]

Does your bird meow?

My Scottish Terrierist is trying to meow - it took me awhile to figure out what kind of weird sound he was making, but he wants to attract the attention of Shadow, the black cat, so he's trying to learn a foreign language.

That is so funny! Our dog used to try to talk. She had sounds that sure sounded like words. We also had a cat that we taught to fetch and she would steal change off of the coffee table. Pets can be so entertaining!

 

[raebates]

Yeah, but I'm not about to let you win, either, Ann.

 

[chefann]

My bird does meow. It's pretty funny.

And DH has had a sinus infection for a couple of weeks, so Beaker's new sound is him clearing his sinuses. All hackey and snorty... It's very funny coming from her. And it fits right in with the other bodily noises he's taught her: belching and farting (which she usually follows up with "Who-ooo farted?" or "What's that stinky smell?").

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Now if someone doesn't comment here...KG will be the official thread killer of this thread. So I decided to step up and remind him about that women/last word thingy!

Word up!

You asked for it ~ Let the truth be known

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

3. Don't cut or color your hair. Ever.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

11. Shopping is not sport.

12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

13. You have enough clothes.

14. You have too many shoes.

15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

16. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

25. Check your oil.

26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.

39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.

40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

 

[raebates]

I absolutely agree with a lot of what you have to say. I've added my 2 cents in bold:

You asked for it ~ Let the truth be known

3. Don't cut or color your hair. Ever. I'm a redhead by his choice.

10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. I married a man who is happy to play sports, but refuses to watch them. Sundays at our house are for church, dinner out, and turning into a slug on the couch.

16. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot. I most certainly agree. And, your ex-girlfriend had the IQ of cement.

18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Mine remembers the date, but is never sure what today's date is.

19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes. Which is why my former-custodian husband insists that the men living in our house (the number of which varies depending on the whims of God) sit down to pee.

31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. This is actually the choice I've made about everything said to me. If you do not expressly tell me that you meant something to be rude and offensive, I'll choose the most positive interpretation. Makes my life a lot happier. Irritates people trying to upset me.

36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. I married a manly man who asks for directions and reads the instructions. (Although, honestly, he usually says they're stupid and throws them out. Reads them first, though.)

37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. AMEN!

40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Umm, and we're not always going to look and act like we did then, either.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Just check your oil, okay? Let us know when you're down a quart. When the engine starts to tick, it's a little late.

 

[raebates]

Yes, and the "idiot lights for idiots who don't remember to check their oil." Thus sayeth The Furry Guy.

 

[raebates]

And, by the way, all boys should be instructed that: showing off won't make a girl think you're cool. It will just make her think you're an idiot.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Like a Plymouth Furry?

 

[raebates]

Naaa, he's more of a Chevy Astro kind of guy. His is a 1994 with all but the driver's and front passenger's seats taken out. He uses it like an enclosed truck to bring home way too much stuff from auctions, rummage sales, the salvage yard, etc.

BTW, I call him The Furry Guy. Some of the kids at church call him The Hairy Guy (his name is the same as the leader of our children's ministry, so this helps them differentiate between the two). The kids in our class at church introduce him to new kids as The Class Gorilla.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

That's funny! BTW, do you know there are several automotive references in the Bible?

 

[raebates]

Nope. New about the baseball reference: In the big inning.

What are the auto references?

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Most people assume WWJD stands for "What would Jesus do?" but the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to, "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." - Psalm 83:15Perhaps, God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "...until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." - Exodus 19:13Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it.
As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's Gospel where Christ tells the crowd,
"For I did not speak of my own Accord..." - John 12:49Moses and Joshua clearly preferred British sportscars, they both drove a Triumph sports car with a holes in the exhaust: "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills," and "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."Others preferred Dodges: "...the head of John the Baptist was brought to King Herod in a CHARGER." - Mark 6:25 and "...For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, He hath a DEMON." - Mat 11:18God clearly prefers Mopars, for it is written, "Hell hath no Fury. . ."Paul told us Jesus had a Jeep: "But take care that this LIBERTY of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak." 1 Corint 8:9But clearly, Jesus had a Honda and took the apostles with him, for it is written, "The Apostles were in one Accord." - Acts 5:12Incidentally, I think WWJD? means, "Who Wants Jack Daniels?"

 

[raebates]

My pastor prefers either his Harley Davidson or his horse. I'll be sure to share these with him, though. I'm sure he'll love them.

 

[Stampaholic1961]

"Which is why my former-custodian husband insists that the men living in our house (the number of which varies depending on the whims of God) sit down to pee."

WOW!! I thought I was the only one who had a husband like that!!! He worked for 14 years in apartment maintenance & had to re-do apartments when people moved out. A few times of having to replace floors that were soaked with urine sold him on the idea of sitting!! He trained our son that way too!!

 

[Stampaholic1961]

By the way, did you know that the Bible says that you shouldn't have dogs as indoor pets?

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

If a dog were convicted of a crime, would that make him con cur?

 

[AJPratt]

I got wasted last weekend.

 

[raebates]

My DH worked maintenance in a nursing home when we met. Old men have terrible aim. Years later he did a short stint as church custodian. More old men and little boys. He's a bit of a fanatic.

 

[AJPratt]

My DH worked maintenance in a nursing home when we met. Old men have terrible aim. Years later he did a short stint as church custodian. More old men and little boys. He's a bit of a fanatic.

Oh, Dear God. ROTFLMAO

 

[raebates]

By the way, did you know that the Bible says that you shouldn't have dogs as indoor pets?

Okay, what's that Scripture reference?

 

[Stampaholic1961]

Okay, what's that Scripture reference?

I can't remember the exact verse right now but in Revelation it says "the dogs are without"

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

That was Old Mother Hubbard's dog's problem.

 

[chefann]

Gotta push this thread to 1000 posts.

 

[chefann]

YAY!!

Did it!!
Par-tay!