Shopping for MIL: Gift-Giving Challenges & Solutions

[wadesgirl]

Just a little back story, MIL's birthday is this weekend. She's really hard to shop for because she's buys everything for herself. Sometimes we just resort to a gift card. When they came out with the Holiday Plate and App. Plates I was so excited because I knew MIL would love them. So I purchased them on a sample order back in August. Fast forward to last weekend at MIL's house when I wasn't there. SIL (DH's brother's wife) asked DH if we wanted to go in on something that she picked out. DH told her we already have her gifts. DH's sister's husband piped up and said "What, Pampered Chef?". Now DH's all worried about us giving PC to his mom all the time. I have "gifted" several items to family members. Most of it is items I have earned or bought at 50% off. If I earned them for free, I never give them as a gift but usually as a surprise item (like the wine stopper pourer I gave to MIL since we don't drink wine). If I have to buy them I consider what I spend, not the original value of the gift.

DH wants to go out and get his mom another gift so that his family doesn't think we are giving her free items. We already also picked out a pumpkin candle holder from PartyLite since she loves pumpkins and decorates like crazy at Halloween.

I just wanted to see if anyone else runs into issues like this.

 

[murkey]

I totally do, and my sister and I are buying my step-mom a PC together for both her birthday AND Christmas. If she doesn't like it; tough. I am only getting 20% back for her purchases and they are WORTH every dollar spent. It helps me, it helps HER. so there LOL No seriously, some people refuse to see the quality of having and giving PC. Only their reciept with an open mind can show them how truly superior it is will ever bring them to see the true gift within the gift

 

[babywings76]

I feel that it is up to me to decide on what I want to spend on someone or what to get them. Even if you gave her "free" things, it's still a gift in my opinion because you worked hard to earn those items. They didn't just miraculously jump into your kitchen! It's a hard balance though, I understand, with how much to spend. Especially when other family members make comments. Even if it wasn't a PC item, if it was at a discount, do you still spend more money on an additional gift? I usually don't, but that's because we are kind of frugal that way. I figure, if it is a nice enough gift, and given with thought, who are they to tell me how much I need to spend on a gift. And when the value of the item is great, I really don't feel bad.

 

[heat123]

I totally give PC gifts! Birthdays, christmas etc! I usually purchase them on shows in their name. My mom has asked for PC for her b-day or christmas. I have given cookware to her and my grandma. And misc stuff to my aunt for her b-day and for christmas I give all the women a spice and SBCB every year as a stocking stuffer. And stoneware and misc stuff to SIL. And finally birthday gifts to my husband's aunt. Oh and Pc gifts like prep bowls with bath stuff, or the RUFTH trivets to teachers! Everyone seems to enjoy it in my family.

 

[raebates]

I generally don't give PC gifts unless they're requested. There are a few exceptions--like the Prep Bowls filled with M & Ms we gave The Furry Guy's siblings last year for Christmas. However, I know that people expect me to give PC at every wedding or baby shower. If the recipient has expressed an interest in an item or registered for PC products, I don't hesitate to give it. Otherwise, I choose something for which they've registered.I don't see anything wrong with giving PC as a gift. I think PC products make amazing gifts. I also know that the perception is often that those of us in direct sales have a bad rap as giving everyone our products all the time.

 

[GourmetGirl]

I don't normally gift PC unless it was requested either. I did the first Christmas I started, but that was because my family gave to everyone (we switched to drawing names last year) and it was the only way to give something nice to everyone (I got the presents free, from a show in fact!). I guess I have given my Mom PC for holidays, but that's because she will mention how much she'd like x or y and she knows I can normally get it for her for a good price, so then I don't spend too much money on her.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Yes I do, especially when I know that the gift will be appreciated. I've given knives and cookware to my family and they love it.

 

[chef131doreen]

You need to let your family know that just because you sell PC you don't get anything you want for FREE That when you give a gift and it's a Pamperedchef product you only do that because the products are so great .And that you do have to buy them , yes maybe at a discount but when you go to the store they run sales too.

 

[chefann]

I give trivets every Christmas to my sisters and DH's siblings. Otherwise, I give PC on a gift by gift basis - if there's something that's appropriate for the recipient in the price range that I usually give, (and they haven't specifically asked for something else) then I give PC. And I consider the retail price. When you have a $50 limit, for example, and buy someone a sweater that sells for $50, that's their gift. They don't have to know that you used a 20% off coupon to get it for $40. Same with PC.And it sounds like your SIL has the issue with PC, not MIL.

 

[Yakmama]

I don't think it should matter one bit whether or not you got it for "free." A gift is a gift- and PC has GREAT stuff. The way I see it, I can give them an inferior product or gift for $20, or I can give them something really nice from PC that is worth $50 that I only had to pay $20 for... KWIM?

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I give PC as gifts - or as part of a gift. But not always. It just depends on the person, and if I know that there is something they would like. Two years ago, when the outlet was brand new, The Lemon Rosemary Candles were available for $5 each - so I got one for all of the women in my family as a small gift. I gave the men, and the driving Teens a Microfiber Towel (also from the outlet) w/ a small bottle of car wash.

For Weddings, I PC Gift Certificate is my standard gift.....

 

[Kodeysmom]

I definitely gift PC. Its kinda expected now. I have heard no complaints. Usually it is well appreciated. Everyone loves it. I especially enjoy buying for my aunt who loves PC and loves to cook(And she's my favorite aunt). She is a stay at home mom to 3 boys-well 18, 19, and 20. And the 19 year old girlfriend and her baby live there. They usually don't have money for extra's. When she buys from me we do a payment plan. So I do gift PC. Don'r see a problem with it.

 

[pampchefsarah]

Here's another thought - if you don't give PC as gifts, what are you saying about your own opinion of the products? "I sell Pampered Chef products, but they aren't good enough to give away to my family and friends." Or, "I love PC products, but my family and friends aren't worthy of getting them for free - they'll just have to have a show, and earn them theirselves!"

I'm giving 2 of my sisters PC for Christmas (my eldest sister is a Personal Chef, but her living arrangements right now don't allow much storage space - otherwise I'd probably go overboard with outfitting her!!), and probably some friends.

I did struggle with this, I admit, wondering if I would come across as being chintzy. But, I'm a PCer because I'm passionate about the products. If I wasn't a consultant, and someone invited me to a party in November, I'd still be giving PC as gifts!

 

[pampchefsarah]

Oh, and Allison, I can't imagine anyone (who likes to decorate for Christmas) being upset about receiving the Christmas Platter and Plates!! (I hope mine get delivered today!). Plus, including the non-pc Pumpkin Candle Holder shows you put thought and care into your gift-giving decision.

 

[etteluap70PC]

Sure do... although I try to make it thoughtful and something that was requested or would fit the recipient. I would not give my 90 yr old grandma the DCB, Way too heavy for her to handle even though she could use something so convenient.

 

[PCJenni]

I have found that if I don't give PC as gifts, people are disappointed! I occasionally give PC gifts as I feel appropriate (teachers gifts, bunco, mommy friends). If there is a gift exchange, I have people fighting over my gift because they expect it to be PC!

 

[Kitchen2u]

My family/friends EXPECT PC gifts...they love the stuff! Maybe the SIL is jealous you're not gifting PC to her?

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I wondered the same thing Ginny.

I think that if you know your MIL will love them - it really doesn't matter if you got them for free, half-price, or full price. It really is the thought that counts, and I'll bet she will be touched that you found something for her that she will love.
Ignore SIL - it does sound like she might be jealous....or just not a very nice person.

 

[rennea]

I sure do!!! My family LOVES it too

 

[wadesgirl]

I wondered the same thing Ginny.

I think that if you know your MIL will love them - it really doesn't matter if you got them for free, half-price, or full price. It really is the thought that counts, and I'll bet she will be touched that you found something for her that she will love.
Ignore SIL - it does sound like she might be jealous....or just not a very nice person.

Thanks everyone! I feel better about this situation. I love giving PC because the products are so great. And I know my MIL, she will love them.

 

[stefani2]

I dont think it matters where it is free or halfprice or whatever. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.

I give PC items in a stocking (or wrapped in a silicone trivet, or oven mitt) for Christmas because I KNOW my mom, MILs, and SIL are gonna use it! They are hard to buy for and FOR MOST THINGS - will just go and buy it if they want/need it.

Last year I gave a set of bamboo spoons, nylon scrapers cuz they scrapbook, citrus peelers, spatulas, etc.

I gave a PC GC for a Chinese gift-exchange for a Christmas Party last year (I forgot to get a gift - so it was a last minute thing). I gave a RUFTH trivet, catalogue, upcoming specials, and a $15 gift certificate. THEY FOUGHT OVER IT! - Women LOVED it cuz it was PC, Men LOVED it cuz they didn't have to shop for their wife/girlfriend.

 

[BethCooks4U]

I gift PC all the time. In fact, my DIL was upset one Christmas because she didn't get any PC (until her last gift to open - then she was happy).

It really depends on who it is for but when I'm in need of a gift I FIRST look to PC for ideas for that person that would be appropriate.

I agree that it shouldn't matter what you paid for it - it's the thought that counts. That arguement reminds me of when I was a single parent with no support $$ coming in and I would make gifts (I also sold those items so it's not like they were junky) and my family commented on how cheap I was. Not only did it cost me something for the materials those things took time to make. When I heard that I stopped giving hand made gifts.


Actually, with PC and my discounts they get more (higher value) than if I gave other things so I end up spending at least as much out of pocket.

 

[GourmetGirl]

I agree that it shouldn't matter what you paid for it - it's the thought that counts. That arguement reminds me of when I was a single parent with no support $$ coming in and I would make gifts (I also sold those items so it's not like they were junky) and my family commented on how cheap I was. Not only did it cost me something for the materials those things took time to make. When I heard that I stopped giving hand made gifts.

Beth - I would have given them nothing the next year! I had a niece who was not happy with part of her present (a hand-painted sweatshirt and a cute leotard/skirt for dance) so I donated the rest of her present (2 HUGE Barbie gift sets) to charity! I was raised to be thankful for what you get and it is the thought that counts. I would rather have a handmade present that the person thought about than a generic bath set! I'm sorry you had to go through that.

 

[Grandmarita]

We have been able to give wonderful gifts to family and friends since I became a PC.
I gave the 1 quart batter bowl with cookie mix to Pastor and Associate one year, and
our RUFTH trivets to neighbors and special friends. Family got Stoneware and love it.
One time when my husband mentioned that I don't make that much on my PC business,
I reminded him that many of the Christmas gifts we had given had come out of my business, and we did not have the usual after Christmas charge cards to deal with. Since that time, he seems to have realized that we are "making a profit" even though with all the expenses I can claim, it does not look like I make a profit.

The true measure of how much our gifts of PC have meant, are when the items are used and on the table when we go to their homes for dinner, throughout the year. One daughter had her entire Kitchen outfitted with PC products. Both of our sons love the Bar-B-Q sets we gave them for their birthdays. My neighbor who is kind of anti PC parties, loved the RUFTH trivet birthday gift, and ordered three more for her family. So that was reassurance to me that my gift from the Heart was certainly appreciated.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Beth - I would have given them nothing the next year! I had a niece who was not happy with part of her present (a hand-painted sweatshirt and a cute leotard/skirt for dance) so I donated the rest of her present (2 HUGE Barbie gift sets) to charity! I was raised to be thankful for what you get and it is the thought that counts. I would rather have a handmade present that the person thought about than a generic bath set! I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Thanks - I didn't give them anything handmade ever again that's for sure. I would have loved that kind of gift. Their loss. The kicker was that they didn't buy me gifts at all but I was expected to buy for them - well, in fairness they did buy a gift for my kids.

...oh, and I didn't spend any more on their gifts after that than what it cost me to make those - and in some cases less (sales).

 

[wadesgirl]

See, in my family, it has always been the "thought that matters" kind of attitude with gifts. But some of DH's family is very materialistic and they make ALOT more money than we do. I guess I'm not used to that.

 

[raebates]

Thanks everyone! I feel better about this situation. I love giving PC because the products are so great. And I know my MIL, she will love them.

That's the key. Any gift that's geared to what you truly believe the recipient will love is appropriate.

 

[janezapchef]

Thanks - I didn't give them anything handmade ever again that's for sure. I would have loved that kind of gift. Their loss. The kicker was that they didn't buy me gifts at all but I was expected to buy for them - well, in fairness they did buy a gift for my kids.

...oh, and I didn't spend any more on their gifts after that than what it cost me to make those - and in some cases less (sales).

Wow! My SIL always makes at least part of her gifts to us, and those are my very FAVORITE gifts! I can't imagine!

I gift PC VERY often! My family and friends get so excited about it! The way I see it, people take jobs at stores to get the discount to buy gifts ALL THE TIME. This is NO different! My brother works for Riddell (football helmets, pro sporting good, etc.) and is able to get a considerable discount on all of their items. He gifts those almost all the time, at least to the guys. It's really the same thing! We sell awesome products that people want. Who cares that we get a discount on it? Do you tell people what you pay for anything else? I always shop sales and the bargain shelves and have found amazing deals. Do I tell the person that I paid $5 for something that's usually $25? Um, no. Does that make me cheap? Maybe. But, I don't really care! They have no idea what I paid unless I tell them!

One more thought on this. This is a little different, but not really. One of my consultants happens to be my best friend. Every gift-giving occasion that rolls around for her I ask what's still on her PC wishlist. She is THRILLED to get PC, even though she KNOWS I don't ever pay full price for it. Truly, it is the thought that counts, and that's all that matters!

Stepping off soap box --- now!

 

[BethCooks4U]

None of my family does crafty things so they just don't get it.

My son on the other hand requested me to make a sampler when his son was born and when I wasn't quick to send them one for their daughter they called and said "Please tell us that you're making Sammy one". Of course I did. They have also requested some of the other things I used to make. It feels great that they want things made from the heart even if their aunts and grandparents didn't (oh, and my now ex-inlaws DID love my handmade gifts back then (in fact this past summer they commented on some of them that they still use) as do my current inlaws).

Sorry about the hijack!



Definitely gift PC if it's something the person would love. If not sure you could give them a book and ask them for ideas. I do tell them that I can afford a little extra if it's PC because of my commission and I tell them what that commission is so they know the limits. Of course if I happen to have earned the item they want and it's an extra for me I save - or they get more! It still has the same value no matter what I actually paid.

 

[wadesgirl]

Well, the bday party is today, we'll see what happens! I know MIL will love them!