Purchasing a Computer for Grandma?? What Do You Think?

[jcsmilez]

Hey All,

I'm curious about your thoughts on this one. A few of my relatives and I would really like to get a computer for my (87 yo) grandmother who has become increasingly isolated since my grandfather passed away. I live 1.5 hours away and hope to go up at least a couple times a month to visit and could help her with it then. My parents live in the same town but are completely overwhelmed and burdened by the current responsibilities of being the nearest relative and DO NOT want us to get her a computer for fear that every time a little box (or whatever) comes up they will be required to go over and "fix" it. They are convinced that it will be just one more thing "dumped" on them. My grandma has been known to say, upon my mother's arrival, "Oh, good you're here, I've been wanting to watch this movie all day but don't know how to get the VCR to work." Yikes!

If she were motivated enough to be willing to learn with out my mother holding her hand every step of the way I think she would really benefit from having a computer with internet access. She is an avid researcher and get get to or lift the books in her library, she has friends and family across the US and in the UK that she is "amazed" that I can communicate with instantly and "for free." She is very interested in geneology and just purchased me a year membership to ancestry.com so I can continue researching family history but would love to see the records and results herself. She has a difficult time writing now days but used to type on the typewriter long ago.... Anyways --- What do you think?

Have any of you helped an elderly, technologically challenged person learn to use a computer? Were you successful?

If we were to purchase one, what would be a good lap top that is easy to use and inexpensive?

Are there helpful websites that you know of that I can bookmark for her? Or, how about a simple tutorial that you would recommend (like one of the Dummies books)?

Any and all thoughts and advice appreciated. Thanks!

 

[myinnerchef]

My MIL is turning 80 and got her first computer last year. She has bookmarked Google, her email access page, the local library's page, and Amazon.com because she loves to search for obscure books and movies. If your grandmother is living independently and mobile, I suggest she take a computer class at the local community college.

 

[jcsmilez]

Ahh, that would be so nice because she could get out and meet people! But there is the challenge, we can hardly ever get out of the house anymore. She used to be very active with my Grandfather, Kiwanis, Habitat for Humanity, Church, (he was a pastor for many years) then she also had her own women's groups that she attended. Now my parents can barely get her out to dinner once a week and she hardly attends church - "because it is just too much work to go up and down the steps (at her house) and get in and out of the car.

 

[tabnat80]

I don't know how your grandmother is, but mine passed away at 89 last year and I could never imagine her using a computer. That is a lot to put on someone who's never touched a computer before. They are very complicated at times and confussing. Is her mind still very sharp? My grandmother's was very sharp but I still would never consider a computer. Someone bought her a cell phone a few years before her death and I never saw her use it. Anyways, what I"m getting at is, it's a good thought, but will she use it or will it just sit in the box?

 

[pcchefjane]

If it would be so overwhelming for her, it would not be good. Sounds like if she can't figure out the VCR, the computer would be too hard. I am 56 and the laptops are very difficult for me to get the screen focused well with my bifocals. It's a nice thought but I think your parents are right...she would just be confused more.

 

[chefann]

I agree - too much opportunity for things to go kablooey. My in-laws are still active and very self-sufficient, but they struggle with the computer. FIL has some sites bookmarked, but heaven help us if he tries to do something else on the internet. And MIL is as good as useless. She doesn't even remember (sometimes) how to start up the games we installed for her. Or she pulls them out of the dock and then wonders how to get to them again.

 

[pamperedlinda]

My granny is 91 and has been using her computer for @ 10 years. She had no idea how to use it when my mother first bought it for her, and of course, my mother lived 5000 miles away from her! I was constantly getting phone calls on how to fix things. It was a royal PIA! After several years of this, my granny is sorta self-sufficient on her computer. She mainy uses it for email, bookkeeping, and her geneology software. She's afraid to go on the internet (thankfully!) And, I refuse to teach her how to delete (she asks me everytime I'm down there...uh-uh - NO WAY am I going there!).

If you think your grandmother is capable enough to take classes and learn to use it then go for it, computers are very inexpensive these days. The worse thing that can happen is that you might have to reformat it. And believe me - she WILL call you and describe something that is wrong with her computer to you that is in NO WAY what the actual problem is.

 

[raebates]

I'd say if she has trouble playing a movie, a computer might be a bit much for her. It's a really nice thought, but I'm picturing my husband's grandmother. She was diabetic, as am I. She saw my monitor, which allows me to test on my arm instead of my finger. She liked it. We helped her get one. That's when I started getting regular calls from her because she was having one problem or another. One time she switched the language to Italian! I just can't see her trying to work a computer.Some people are good at tech stuff. Some aren't. Sounds to me like your grandma isn't.If you're looking for gift ideas, one of Grandma's favorite things we ever got her were some coloring books and crayons. They were pictures of birds, butterflies, and such. She really loved it. It gave her something to do without making her feel stupid, which was her complaint about some of the more techie stuff she'd gotten as gifts.

 

[Grandmarita]

I hate to shoot down your generous gift idea but can say from my own personal experience that when my husband is not home, I have some pretty frustrating times.
My laptop just seems to know that he is not here to troubleshoot for me.

I have been using our various computers for the last ten years but I do not have the
technical troubleshooting skills that many of you do. As long as a program behaves and does what it is supposed to do, I can manage. That is one of the reasons I have clung to our Pampered Partner rather than switch to Plus. I will be getting some coaching at our next Cluster meeting, and know that I can call my recruiter if I have problems. Tech support was great when we loaded PP onto my new Vista laptop, a year ago. I know I could call on them in the future, so will switch over as of January 1st.

An idea to test her interest would be to take her to the local library and see how she does with their system. Ours offers quick courses in computer use. She might feel confident enough after a few lessons. When we bought our Gateway in 1998, they even offered classes for a set one year fee. Is that a possibility for her?

 

[pampered Ruth]

I have an elderly friend ( I am her cleaning lady) who has a computer , she is 85 now. She loves communicating on it, but doesn't do anything else on it. It has been difficult for her to learn to use but there is no one around to help her. I think it is a great idea, but if there is no one to help her, she probably won't learn much and just using the mouse takes a lot when you first start.

 

[Fluffy215]

My mother in law who is 79 had a computer and used it for one year. Like everyone else just for email, geneology and playing solitaire (offline) She gave it up as she thought it was to much of a burden and she does not miss it. I would hate to see you waste that kind of money for something similar to happen.

As for a gift why not make a geneology report for her so she can see it. My MIL did one for everyone in the family and as some of the family finds things she puts it in her book. She literally has a binder with page protectors in it and a typed up sheet with all kinds of information on it. Also old newspaper clippings, photos etc. That would be a nice gift.

 

[NooraK]

The first thing I thought was "has anyone asked grandma if she'd like to have a computer?" It's one thing if she's interested in what you can do with it, but quite another for her to have her own computer.

Have you Googled for alternatives? WebTV was big a few years back, and it's still around as MSN TV. It might be something grandma can use without the hassles of a full computer. And a few years back I remember seeing devices that were very simple, created just for the purpose of online access, but I can't remember who made them.

 

[jcsmilez]

Thanks for all of your thoughts and input. It is a bit of a dilemma. She is so isolated and would benefit so much from being able to connect with the world again. A computer class is certainly NOT an option but people helping her out with it when they are over there is. I'm not sure whether she cannot use the VCR because she really can't or just because she has never had to and prefers to have my mother do everything for her. If that is the case, I was hoping that the desire to connect with people and research as she loves would motivate her beyond that. Nevertheless, I fully understand the concern for "too much opportunity for things to go kablooey." My Aunt may choose to get one for her anyway, she's kind of like that and lives across the country and therefore unable and unwilling to deal with the ramifications. I think I'm leaning towards supporting her if she decides she wants to get one but not necessarily surprising her with one. If she decides on her own that she would like to learn to use one then hopefully that would answer the motivation question.... not to say that it would be easy.

 

[Grandmarita]

I second the idea of asking if she knows anyone who uses a computer to keep in touch with her family members, and what would she think of having one too? Does she come to your home where you might show her yours and do some coaching.

The very fact that your folks show resistance to the idea would be a warning sign. I doubt that they are jealous that you would spend so much money on your Gram, but see it as just one more thing for her to be needing their assistance on. It can be a strain when them have had their own lives without having to worry about her, until your Grandpa died. My own kids don't worry about us, figuring we have one another to depend on. It changes when you become single again. You discover that everything that used to work, begins to need repair and stops behaving. I saw this happen to my neighbor shortly after she was widowed. Not a week went by without a repair needing to be done. Her computer was one of her first challenges and she was much younger than your Gram.

 

[jcsmilez]

The first thing I thought was "has anyone asked grandma if she'd like to have a computer?" It's one thing if she's interested in what you can do with it, but quite another for her to have her own computer.

Have you Googled for alternatives? WebTV was big a few years back, and it's still around as MSN TV. It might be something grandma can use without the hassles of a full computer. And a few years back I remember seeing devices that were very simple, created just for the purpose of online access, but I can't remember who made them.

Yeah, I've talked to her about it a little bit. She sounds intrigued and excited about the thought but definitely nervous. I didn't want to talk to her about it too much until I researched it a little more so as not to get her too excited about something that will just overwhelm her. The research I have done online does indicate that having a computer with internet access is very beneficial for the elderly once they have learned to use it on a basic level, but I understand it is not for everyone.

 

[chefann]

How good are you at over the phone tech support, too? If you're the primary contact, you'll have to deal with providing help over the phone for someone who probably won't know the correct terminology. It's very frustrating (see the above comments about my in-laws...) when you have to figure out what they mean by "the picture of the stamp" (email program) or "the computer went dark" (that one was a problem with the monitor).

 

[jcsmilez]

How good are you at over the phone tech support, too? If you're the primary contact, you'll have to deal with providing help over the phone for someone who probably won't know the correct terminology. It's very frustrating (see the above comments about my in-laws...) when you have to figure out what they mean by "the picture of the stamp" (email program) or "the computer went dark" (that one was a problem with the monitor).

Yeah Ann,

I was thinking that if she did end up getting one whether it be on her own, through my Aunt or whatever, I would talk to her about calling me whenever she has a problem so as not to bother my parents. I'm okay at describing stuff over the phone and am only 1.5 hours away if I need to go up there. If she got a Mac wouldn't I be able to see her computer from my mac if I subscribed to Mobile Me? I thought there was a program like that.

 

[chefann]

Yeah Ann,

I was thinking that if she did end up getting one whether it be on her own, through my Aunt or whatever, I would talk to her about calling me whenever she has a problem so as not to bother my parents. I'm okay at describing stuff over the phone and am only 1.5 hours away if I need to go up there. If she got a Mac wouldn't I be able to see her computer from my mac if I subscribed to Mobile Me? I thought there was a program like that.

DH has a program called "Chicken of the VNC" installed on his Mac and the one at his parents' house so that he can do that. But I don't know if he's gotten it to work. (I'm not up on all those "toys" for that type of use.) Another issue to consider is the Mac/Windows thing. I think the Mac is great for my in-laws because it is so easy to use. But my sister in law (who is the bossy one in the family) goes over there and confuses them because she doesn't know how to use a Mac, and she gives them misinformation.

As much as it would be great for your Grandma to do genealogy projects online, she might be better served by an email only box. I know I've seen them, but I don't remember who made them.

 

[PamperChefCarol]

If it would be so overwhelming for her, it would not be good. Sounds like if she can't figure out the VCR, the computer would be too hard. I am 56 and the laptops are very difficult for me to get the screen focused well with my bifocals. It's a nice thought but I think your parents are right...she would just be confused more.

I wonder if she really overwhelmed with technology, or just craves contact and wants people to believe she really, really needs them so that they come around more. Just a thought.

I would ask her point out if she would like one. Explain to her that it can be confusing, but you are sure she can do it (always helps to have someone believe in you) You might try to find a local computer company that offers phone help and get her a subscription to that and certainly have some general training when the computer gets there.