This is something that's been simmering for awhile. So it's nothing new at all and one or two of you already know. I'm not going to go into major detail because I'm attempting to avoid crying again. I just need to share somewhere.
My husband and I are headed down Divorce Lane. He made it clear to me about a year ago that things weren't working out, although I knew even before that. And about 3 months ago he made it understood that he doesn't love me. I told him I didn't want him to lie to me and since then he hasn't. No "I love you too"s. So, I've been working on our marriage since before we were even married. It's been an incredibly rough road. I think we only got married because I was pregnant. And I sometimes wish we hadn't because now we have two small children. Abel is 2 1/2 and Scarlet will turn 1 in March.
Their father doesn't know how to love them. And I think that breaks my heart more than knowing that he doesn't love me.
I've had issues with depression before, I've owned them and dealt with them. When I approached Jon to say I think he may have a problem with it, he completely denied it. Said that I'm a headcase. I think he needs help, I mean, what kind of person doesn't know how to love his own kids?
Anyway, divorce is expensive and rather complicated, especially for the military. It's inevitable. But it's not something we can just DO. It's something that has to be planned more. I don't make enough to support the kids on my own, especially since the only job I have is The Pampered Chef. Also, we just moved into this new house. Like I said, complicated.
Anyway. Please pray for my strength. And that someday a man with enough heart can learn to love me as much for my weakness as my strengths. A man that will love and care for my children without reservation.
And pray that THAT man is my husband.
And that if he's not, I won't have to wait forever to find whoever he is.
Thank you.
My husband and I are headed down Divorce Lane. He made it clear to me about a year ago that things weren't working out, although I knew even before that. And about 3 months ago he made it understood that he doesn't love me. I told him I didn't want him to lie to me and since then he hasn't. No "I love you too"s. So, I've been working on our marriage since before we were even married. It's been an incredibly rough road. I think we only got married because I was pregnant. And I sometimes wish we hadn't because now we have two small children. Abel is 2 1/2 and Scarlet will turn 1 in March.
Their father doesn't know how to love them. And I think that breaks my heart more than knowing that he doesn't love me.
I've had issues with depression before, I've owned them and dealt with them. When I approached Jon to say I think he may have a problem with it, he completely denied it. Said that I'm a headcase. I think he needs help, I mean, what kind of person doesn't know how to love his own kids?
Anyway, divorce is expensive and rather complicated, especially for the military. It's inevitable. But it's not something we can just DO. It's something that has to be planned more. I don't make enough to support the kids on my own, especially since the only job I have is The Pampered Chef. Also, we just moved into this new house. Like I said, complicated.
Anyway. Please pray for my strength. And that someday a man with enough heart can learn to love me as much for my weakness as my strengths. A man that will love and care for my children without reservation.
And pray that THAT man is my husband.
And that if he's not, I won't have to wait forever to find whoever he is.
Thank you.