Prayer for My Sister: Help and Healing for a Broken Heart

[elizabethfox]

I know this might sound silly to some, but please pray for my sister.

She is going through a rough time ....yesterday she learned that a guy she was dating, no longer wanted to be with her. In fact he told her he never liked her at all. ( The big sister in me wants to go pulverize him, but I am refraining from it )

My sister is the kind of person who when she trusts someone or loves them, she does it with all of her heart. This guy told her he would love her forever and he was willing to wait as long as he had to to be with her. Then he does this to her.

She doesn't understand why he lied to her....why he was with her if he said he never liked her....etc. She is devastated. I really feel like a dud of a sister because I have no words of wisdom to give her. I never dated until I met my husband and then we stayed together and were married. I have never gone through a rejection like this. I can't tell her I know how she feels....because I don't. I can imagine, but I don't really KNOW how she is feeling.

I have tried to remind her that God understands the pain she is going through and that she has many people who love her. That it wasn't her fault. Not to blame herself. But I don't know what else to do for her.

She is not eating and not drinking. Hasn't for a day and a half. My mom is freaking out and so I talked to my sister today and made her promise she would eat/drink something. I just don't know how to ease her pain and help her get through this.

She is coming to stay with me Saturday and Sunday, we all thought she needs a change of scenery and then she wouldn't have to go to her church to face that jerk wad until she has her emotions under control a little better.

Just please pray that she will feel God's love and strength in this time of need for her, and pray that I will know what God would have me do for her as her big sister.

I wish I could take this pain away from her :cry:

 

[KellyTheChef]

Oh Elizabeth, I feel for you and your sister! How old is she? (I am assuming she is young by your post)

We are all special in God's eyes and he has a plan and a purpose for each of us. Unfortunately, there are many around us who will let us down and hurt us. I try to explain that to my DSD...that allowing OTHERS to dictate how we feel about our worth is a bad thing to do because people are human and they WILL let us down. That doesn't mean that life and relationships are meaningless, it means that we need to get our sense of self value from God and not from others.

I am watching my DSD go through pain with her (so called) boyfriend who is very manipulating and demeaning to her. Because of the things he has said and done she doesn't see that she deserves BETTER than him...cuz she has allowed him to make her feel like she isn't worth any more than that.

Prayers that she will open up to you and be receptive to your love and your help!

 

[raebates]

She'll be in my prayers. Poor thing. Some people are just cruel. One day she'll realize how much better off she is without him. In the meantime, let her cry. Encourage her to eat. (I find that ice cream works wonders, especially the deep, rich, premium chocolate.) You might also suggest she find someone to talk to--a counselor or pastor. She's got a lot of stuff to work through.

 

[janetupnorth]

Aww...she'll be in our thoughts and prayers!!!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Hmmm, the big sister in me wants to pulverize him too, and I'm not even her big sister!:grumpy:

I know it's no comfort to her at the moment, but in time, I'm sure she will be thankful it's over now, and that she didn't end up marrying him, only to be told he never even liked her. For him to be able to say something that cruel shows alot what his true character is like.

I'll pray for her, and for you as you encourage and comfort her. It's good she has a big sister like you!

 

[tlag1986]

She is in my prayers. When will we get to the point that everyone is using the simple golden rule in life.

 

[BethCooks4U]

She's in my prayers too. My ex told me out of the blue that he wasn't happy and was leaving after 10 years and 3 kids. I had no clue and was crushed. He later said he had never really loved me. Turns out there was another woman and had been many thoughout our marriage.

It was a blessing. Because he left I grew to be an independent woman who found out that I have value and can manage my family and life just fine without him thank you very much. I am now (and have been for 22 years) to a man who respects and values me. We are partners in life. There is someone better out there for her and when the healing is done and the time is right she will find him but she'll also learn that she doesn't NEED someone to give HER value.

Tell your sister that while this is a very difficult time it is the best thing that could have happened. She will grow from this and now she won't be wasting her time with him. I know it's hard - I was in such a fog for a very long time - there was a tornado that touched down within blocks of my home and on the anniversary of it someone commented of it and I had no clue it ever happened. It is hard to be rejected and it's awful to put your full trust and love in someone and then be treated in that way but believe me, she will be better for it all!

 

[sklay723]

Speaking as someone who was in a similar situation with an ex-boyfriend, I can tell you what you probably already know...she's better off without him. Actually mine was such a jerk he immediately started dating my (now ex-)best friend within two months after we broke up.
Your sister will probably have to go through all the stages just like I did...the anger, the grief, the confusion...but she will be stronger for it. And you can tell her that in my situation, I promised myself I wasn't going to be in a hurry to get into another relationship anytime soon. I wanted to give myself time to just be MYSELF, and not have to worry about someone else messing me up again. Six months after the breakup, when I had tons of closure and had gotten myself back to a very happy place, I literally stumbled upon a kind, sweet man who I married two years later. I think sometimes we have to deal with a little rain so that we appreciate the sun that much more.

 

[merego]

I'd like to go kick his A$$ too, I'm sure there is a long line right now!! People can be so heartless and cruel, but in time ( and it will take time) she will realize she is better off without him. After a terrible heartbreak, my life is where it was meant to be and had I not gone through the expereinces I did, I would never be where I am today. She will be in my thoughts

 

[Jess_K]

praying for her... I went thru something similar in HS.. the guy turned out to be dating me for ONE reason.. it was a bet to see if he could get me into bed.. (never happened btw) but I was crushed when I found out. I will be thinking of her.. hopefully she can focus on herself and what makes her happy for a while.

She's lucky to have such a great big sister!! My older sister and I never really connected.. still haven't..

 

[sk8rgrrl99]

Elizabeth - this post is for you, not your sister. I dated someone that was very controlling and verbally abusive. We were together for more than 5 years. When I finally left him I didn't know what to do with myself at first. I didn't even know how to be alone because I hadn't been in years. Over time I learned how to be alone, how to love myself and how to trust myself. Now, 6 years later I have met someone wonderful that loves me for who I am, he is kind, he supports me. I think it was because of the bad experience that I was really able to appreciate the good one. We all need to go through some lows to get to our highs. I wish your sister the best. Time does heal all wounds and she will come out on the other side better and stronger.

 

[quiverfull7]

Wow... I will lift you BOTH up in prayer and as hard as this will be for you to hear, I will pray for that young man as well. Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies. I've argued many times with Him about that command but He changed my heart every time or He revealed that evil was too deep for me to deal with. I pray protection all around about you and your sister, Father God, Elizabeth and her precious sister need a legion of angels right now and I ask that you not only send them but also that they stay encamped round about them. Protect their hearts and their minds Use the salve of Your love and power to heal this dear sister from the pain inflicted upon her. They are your's Jesus and we love you for caring for both of them! Grant them the power to cry and hit and scream it out as they need to, to go through each phase of sadness and pain and anger and then rest and renewal and the knowlegde that under all this storm, they are encompassed by your comfort and the peace that passes all understanding for this surely is something too difficult for us to understand. Hold them close Jesus, love and care for them please... give them the hugs that we cannot. In Jesus name, Amen

 

[pcchefjane]

I know she is hurting right now as this has happened to me years ago on more than one occasion. The bad thing is, there is really no "support group" for this type of situation.:grumpy: I do encourage her to go to a Christian counselor who will help her see who she is in Christ. She may have to go to another church for a while to avoid him. Sounds like she is well rid of him. I know that is not something she will realize any time soon though! If you want to go beat him up, I'll help!

 

[chefbritt]

She's in my prayers too. My ex told me out of the blue that he wasn't happy and was leaving after 10 years and 3 kids. I had no clue and was crushed. He later said he had never really loved me. Turns out there was another woman and had been many thoughout our marriage.

It was a blessing. Because he left I grew to be an independent woman who found out that I have value and can manage my family and life just fine without him thank you very much. I am now (and have been for 22 years) to a man who respects and values me. We are partners in life. There is someone better out there for her and when the healing is done and the time is right she will find him but she'll also learn that she doesn't NEED someone to give HER value.

Tell your sister that while this is a very difficult time it is the best thing that could have happened. She will grow from this and now she won't be wasting her time with him. I know it's hard - I was in such a fog for a very long time - there was a tornado that touched down within blocks of my home and on the anniversary of it someone commented of it and I had no clue it ever happened. It is hard to be rejected and it's awful to put your full trust and love in someone and then be treated in that way but believe me, she will be better for it all!

I agree with Beth, she will be better off for it, it's just hard to see that in the moment. I was engaged to someone I had dated for 5 years, and been best friends with since childhood. He called it off out of the blue, and claimed he didn't love me. Like Beth's story, it was because of another girl. I hadn't made other friends in college, because I was so wrapped up in him, and so I had nobody to turn to to help me through it. I pretty much shut down and just focused on getting through the day and going to sleep. I was a mess for a long time. But if it hadn't been for that breakup, I wouldn't have found Jesus and asked him into my life, and I wouldn't have the incredible joy that I feel everyday from knowing and having a relationship with God. I also wouldn't have any of the wonderful Christian friends I have made or the many other good things I have found in my life since then. So even though it was a long, hard road and things seemed hopeless at times, I can look back now and be thankful. God does have a plan, and it is bigger and more incredible than we can imagine. I know its hard for her to see it now, but something good will come of this. I'll keep your sister in my prayers. Keep us updated on how she's doing!

 

[KellyTheChef]

I agree with Beth, she will be better off for it, it's just hard to see that in the moment. I was engaged to someone I had dated for 5 years, and been best friends with since childhood. He called it off out of the blue, and claimed he didn't love me. Like Beth's story, it was because of another girl. I hadn't made other friends in college, because I was so wrapped up in him, and so I had nobody to turn to to help me through it. I pretty much shut down and just focused on getting through the day and going to sleep. I was a mess for a long time. But if it hadn't been for that breakup, I wouldn't have found Jesus and asked him into my life, and I wouldn't have the incredible joy that I feel everyday from knowing and having a relationship with God. I also wouldn't have any of the wonderful Christian friends I have made or the many other good things I have found in my life since then. So even though it was a long, hard road and things seemed hopeless at times, I can look back now and be thankful. God does have a plan, and it is bigger and more incredible than we can imagine. I know its hard for her to see it now, but something good will come of this. I'll keep your sister in my prayers. Keep us updated on how she's doing!

That is soooooooo true! Similar circumstances brought me AND my hubby (at different times in our lives) to Christ. Hence the ability to say (honestly) to give thanks in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES! This too will pass for her and it sounds like she has a wonderful sister who loves her bunches!

 

[elizabethfox]

How old is she? (I am assuming she is young by your post)

She is young...16, but at 16 I had met my husband Titus and we were seriously dating. In her mind, she doesn't understand why it can't be like that with her. I keep telling her to wait on the Lord and pray everyday that He will bring her the man He wants her to be with forever. She just seems to get the crappy guys everytime she opens up her heart to someone. I just don't understand it...

Encourage her to eat. (I find that ice cream works wonders, especially the deep, rich, premium chocolate.)

LOL...yeah I am planning on taking her shopping and we are just going to have a girls night Sat when she comes to visit. I will have to make sure I stock up on that chocolate ice cream!!

Wow... I will lift you BOTH up in prayer and as hard as this will be for you to hear, I will pray for that young man as well. Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies. I've argued many times with Him about that command but He changed my heart every time or He revealed that evil was too deep for me to deal with. I pray protection all around about you and your sister, Father God, Elizabeth and her precious sister need a legion of angels right now and I ask that you not only send them but also that they stay encamped round about them. Protect their hearts and their minds Use the salve of Your love and power to heal this dear sister from the pain inflicted upon her. They are your's Jesus and we love you for caring for both of them! Grant them the power to cry and hit and scream it out as they need to, to go through each phase of sadness and pain and anger and then rest and renewal and the knowlegde that under all this storm, they are encompassed by your comfort and the peace that passes all understanding for this surely is something too difficult for us to understand. Hold them close Jesus, love and care for them please... give them the hugs that we cannot. In Jesus name, Amen

Thanks so much for your prayers everyone!

 

[elizabethfox]

I called this afternoon and my mom said she ate a muffin and drank a glass of milk but that was it. Mom tried to get her to eat more, but Beka just said...I already ate something today:grumpy: I talked to her and told her to make sure she eats at least one thing and drinks some each day so she doesn't freak mom out. So hopefully she listens to me. I also said she has to eat with me on Sat because I am taking her out to dinner, and I am NOT eating alone....LOL

Mom said she seemed to be doing a little better today. She started a recipe scrapbook ( like one I showed her I was working on) and she was working on missionary books for the ladies at church. They have a group who gets together and makes things for the missionaries and prays for each of them by name. So at least she is keeping busy. Hope it will keep her mind somewhat off of the issue at hand.

It just is difficult for her. She has NO close friends... since this issue with her guy all the girls except for one won't talk to her. So I have no clue what he has been telling them, and I live 30-45 min away and she just doesn't have anyone to vent to. Cuz like who wants to spill their heart out to their mom and dad??? That would just be too weird! lol

 

[raebates]

She does have you, and I can tell you are a blessing to her.Yes, 16 is young. I do know a few people who married the person they loved at 16. Most don't. However, everything is life and death to you when you're 16. I met my first love at 15. We were together for 2 years, even though I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. When we broke up, I didn't eat for a couple of days. It was weeks before I stopped feeling physically ill. I actually threw up several times. Now, the guy turned out to be a compulsive liar. He was a womanizer who hit on all my friends. (After getting over being ticked for them not telling me, I realized that I probably wouldn't have believed them over him.) I was much better off without him. That didn't stop the hurt.Just let her cry and vent. Soothe her with chocolate. She'll survive and be stronger for it. (Though, you might not want to mention that right away. Logic is simply annoying at that stage.)