Considering Skipping NC for Family: The Struggle of Being a Nursing Mom

[KellyTheChef]

I am considering NOT attending NC. This is killing me.

As you all know, I am pregnant and due in November. I will be nursing excusively like I did with Evan...and with him, I could NOT leave and do shows for quite some time (he was probably 4 months old...) because I had so many struggles and there was just no way to skip a feeding till then. Plus, DH is VERY nervous with infants. When I finally had a few shows, Evan would pretty much scream his head off till I got home, which John enjoyed so much.... So...I don't even know how long I will need to be off. In a perfect world, I could pump and leave...do my show, and then pump in the car immediately after. But...if I have problems again, that just isn't feasable. If I can't do shows for quite some time, why should I invest in going to NC this year?

My long term goal to become a director has NOT changed. I know that I want something "for me" and I love working with PC. I WILL attend NC the very next time it's possible.

On top of this, I haven't seen my brother and SIL for almost two years (they live in SC, we are in OH). Soooooo....I am thinking that my $600 saved for conference (includes my registration and lots of spending $$ and $$ to blow at Merrill on clothes....) would pay for us to go visit them for a week this summer. My SIL's granny died at the end of the year, and she did NOT want me to come down then, since we really wouldn't be able to sit and chat and visit....so I PROMISED we would come this summer! Ugh. Financially, I think I need to take my PC $$ and go see them...and just resign myself to attending conference in 2010. I hate even seeing that date on this post. I know that next conference, I will not be up to leaving the new baby as long as I am nursing all the time still. Again...I don't think DH would "allow" me to leave him with such a young baby anyhow in 2009.

I guess I am just trying to think "out loud" here and see what I need to do. I think I may know the answer, but it is breaking my heart....:cry: :cry:

Comments, suggestions, ideas?

 

[time2cook]

I might not be the best one to answer you, because I have never gone to conference. I also never see myself being able to attend. I say that you need to do what is right for you and your family. Yes, I have heard that attending conference would really boost your PC career, but in my situation I doubt I will ever be able to attend. My husband would never go for me going away for this business, so I just have to do what I can to motivate myself without conference. We all have to make choices, and I am one who believes that family definitely comes first. I would not feel right about spending money leaving the family home when I could spend it on a vacation with them. As for leaving babies, I don't know how anyone does that.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Kelly, You have to do what is right for you and your family. That is the beauty if this business - we can make it fit in our life instead of making our life fit into a regular job! Take care of yourself and that baby. PC will be here and so will we. We will fill you in on every last detail from NC - heck, I'll even call you on my cell from General Session if you want me to

 

[PamperedDor]

Kelly - you have to follow your heart - do what is best for you and your family - plus remember there is alot of walking - so might be tough being pregnant.Conference will be there next year - AND then you will be walking as a director!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Hey Kelly - I'll call you too! We won't let you miss too much!

You follow where God is leading, honor your DH and your family, and God will bless your business - National Conference or no National Conference!

 

[crystalscookingnow]

Kelly - You'll be getting lots of phone calls! If your heart is telling you one thing & you go against it, you'll regret it. Do what's right for you & your family!

 

[quiverfull7]

Kelly... I'm SO thrilled that you are going with your hearts leading instead of fighting it... conferences come and go... but your babies will grow way too fast! ENJOY and do conference again when the time is right! I'm NOT thrilled of course that you won't be there but I love the reason why! I can still see in my minds eye looking into each of my seven babies eyes at birth... now the oldest is 26 and the youngest 4 1/2 and each time seems like yesterday! God Bless you as you continue to nurture your children!

 

[janetupnorth]

Becky, JAE, myself and others will miss meeting you in person! However, do what is best for you and your family. Like many said above, they come first. NC is great for you and your business, but it should never come at the cost of your family. What I have on the bottom of our missionary letters, and our blog for camp is:"Only one life 'twill soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last."What in your life will have more impact on eternity? Will it be attending conference or time with family and friends? Will that interaction with your family better serve eternity? Will those relationships and conversations and the more personal time with them help their eternal relationships? If so, which I think you know the answer to, go for it!NC will be there EVERY year for you!

 

[pjpamchef]

OK, since everyone else is saying it's alright, I'm just going to try and tell you why you should go. Going to conference is like putting gas in your car. If you are serious about your goal about Directorship, you need to make a better plan, and take classes that will help you stay on track. And when you're pg you need something to keep you focused. I went one year 32 weeks pg. It reminded me why I was doing PC and I sat down and made a plan. I figured out how much time I was going to need and then booked shows for when I wanted to start back up again. I looked at my apt book, decided I wanted 6 weeks off, blocked it out, and booked shows for when I was to come back. I am so glad I did that! It is so easy, to keep putting off coming back, thinking, I'll start making calls tomorrow...........Plus there is always unexpected things that come up in life. My Mother unexpectedly passed away when my daughter was 6 weeks old, if I had not already had shows booked, I'm not sure I would be here today. There is something about seeing all the people who really make this business work at NC, that inspires me to keep trying. 2010 is a really long way off, just seems like a long time to go without putting gas in you car!!

 

[Jennie4PC]

I think if you feel like you can not go to conference I wouldnt go. I of course have yet to go to NC. The first yr I decided to late and didnt have the money. yr 2 I was 34 wks preg and last yr we were going on a family vacation. I will not be going again this yr and I dont know if I will ever go. My DD's bday is right around conference and we travel 300 miles for her birthday. Plus I dont really have help here where I live with my kids.

 

[Debala715]

I think if you feel like you can not go to conference I wouldnt go. I of course have yet to go to NC. The first yr I decided to late and didnt have the money. yr 2 I was 34 wks preg and last yr we were going on a family vacation. I will not be going again this yr and I dont know if I will ever go. My DD's bday is right around conference and we travel 300 miles for her birthday. Plus I dont really have help here where I live with my kids.

Jennie, maybe next year you could make it a family vacation and stay in the Chicago area longer. There are many places for families here in the Chicagoland area. During the time you would be busy with Conference, maybe your husband could take the kids to some of the places in Chicago. It's an idea so you could enjoy NC and your vacation time.

 

[Jennie4PC]

That is a good idea I will have to keep that in mind. My concern about that though is how will my DH handle 3 kids by himself in a city like that. He will only take 1 at a time when he goes to walmart.

 

[Intrepid_Chef]

Kelly, not only am I willing to call you, I am willing to take my tiny tape recorder to sessions and let you have the tapes! That is, if I can justify going!I know I really need to step up my business, and NC is one way to do it. But I am starting to wonder if I can justify spending more than a week's salary on this, with talk of budget cuts at my "real" job that may or may not affect me. Then again ... if I lose 20 percent of my income, a handy way to make up the loss would be to quadrouple my monthly sales, so ....

 

[Intrepid_Chef]

Oh, and my cluster-mate is going with a baby in tow ... but she's also bringing her parents to help share the load. My recruiter, who also just had a baby (and like you, is exclusively breast feeding) thinks she's nuts.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Kelly, I'm so sorry that you are faced with this difficult decision, but I feel that you have to do what is right for DH, and your new baby, and your family. And, a nice family trip to SC wouldn't be a waste- it would be great to go to NC, but if you can't you can't...but I would make John promise to give you a back rub or a foot rub every night until you are no longer sad about not going to conference!

 

[pampermejolene]

Kelly, not only am I willing to call you, I am willing to take my tiny tape recorder to sessions and let you have the tapes!

Just FYI, you aren't supposed to do that... "You may not audiotape or videotape any portion of any official Pampered Chef meeting. The programs we present are usually copyrighted or trademarked and are not for public taping. Occasionally we will offer audio or videotapes for sale or through the lending library, but we have received and/or paid for permission to do so".

I've listened to some of the C.D.'s from past conferences and have gotten unbelievable information.

As far as going to conference, I would say to just think and pray about it a lot. Personally, I say go, especially if you aren't going to be able to make it next year. And keep in mind, catalog shows. You may still be able to somewhat sustain your business even with a newborn. And I know a lot of people that have gotten business and leads from mother's groups.

 

[Nanisu]

I say Kelly lets us know which workshops she wants and we all see who else is taking them and then we take all the notes we can!! She can order the cd's, look at our notes and come close enough--still get the info, and nurture her family, which clearly comes first. Anyone? Check your registration to see what you are taking, and between enough of us I bet we could help her out.

 

[momoftwins]

Kelly - last year was the first time I was able to go since I became pregnant with my twins. I was not able to travel during my pregnancy when NC was (2005) and in 2006 the twins were just too young, DH would have had a fit to take care of the twins by himself for that amount of time, etc. I went last year totally at the last minute - a sister consultant talked me into it (believe I booked my airfare maybe 2 weeks before NC and registered onsite at NC). I do not regret that - this year I have already sold just over $7000 and last year all together I only sold just over $7000 so it definitely helped my business.

Like everyone has said though this business is your business and you need to do what is best for you and your family. Missing 2 years of NC will not kill you - and it will be there when you are ready to go back to it!!!

 

[janetupnorth]

I say Kelly lets us know which workshops she wants and we all see who else is taking them and then we take all the notes we can!! She can order the cd's, look at our notes and come close enough--still get the info, and nurture her family, which clearly comes first. Anyone? Check your registration to see what you are taking, and between enough of us I bet we could help her out.

I think Kelly was signed up for the EXACT SAME ones I was...I was joking about her stalking me...

I'll just have to take good notes...

 

[vwpamperedchef]

While Iam not in your situation, I had my conference booked already and just canceled this week. We live in NJ but have a wedding in Baltimore on July 12, We would have flown to IL from Baltimore. The good thing is we only bought one way tickets. But I bought one for both DH and I. So I will have to get a voucher for future travel. But everything was refunded.

Reason being, we decided to either go to Delaware after the wedding or just come home and enjoy being home. DH works 3 hours away and comes home only on the weekends. He will be going overseas for a tour of duty by the end of this year.

I feel my time with him is more valueable then NC right now. I figured I will go next summer when he is away and it will give me something to look forward to.

I know it is a hard choice to make. I toyed with it for weeks. When finally I decided and I have to say a weight has been lifted.

Good luck.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Kelly & Vanessa -

I believe you are doing the right thing.

I recently read Doris's book - "The Pampered Chef" - and from reading that, I firmly believe that she would agree that you are doing the right thing too. This business was started and built so that she could put her family first. I think that if you could ask her personally what you should do - she would say take care of your family first!

 

[vwpamperedchef]

Thank you for saying that! I should get that book!

 

[chefann]

Kelly, you're a smart enough person (and have tons of support here), that I don't think skipping conference will necessarily be a death-knell for your business. I saw someone at conference in 2006 who had a director ribbon, a 7 years of service button, and a first time attendee button. So obviously going to conference is not a prerequisite for promoting. You need to do what is right for your family, and if that means skipping conference, then that's what you need to do.

 

[Intrepid_Chef]

I was joking about recording the sessions ... that said, it is my hope they'll put some of them on Consultants Corner just like they did with Leadership.

I say Kelly lets us know which workshops she wants and we all see who else is taking them and then we take all the notes we can!! She can order the cd's, look at our notes and come close enough--still get the info, and nurture her family, which clearly comes first. Anyone? Check your registration to see what you are taking, and between enough of us I bet we could help her out.

That is a great idea! Considering I officially bite the bullet and decide to go (it's a big bite out of my now officially downsized budget) I live geographically very close to Kelly and could deliver the notes in person! I'd love to meet her in person, swap coffee and chat with her about N/C!

 

[pamperedpals]

Kelly I understand how you are feeling. My DH and I are going to go for full-custody of my oldest DS this summer and every extra penny we have will be going to attorney fee's. I registered for conference as soon as it opened and was really excited and pumped to go. It has been many years since I have been to conference.

I then started adding up all of the costs, (registration, airfare, hotel & extra $$'s) and I just could not justify spending that money on conference, when I know we will need it for attorney fee's. So, I talked to DH and told him that I wasn't going this year, so he promised me that I WILL be there next year.

The beauty of our business is that we can work it around our family. I love what this company stands for and I knew I was doing the right thing, even, if I was bummed about not being able to go. However, my DS is completely and utterly worth it and more!

Also, with the pc family we have here, it will be like we were there!

 

[Intrepid_Chef]

Another random thought ... I put in for temporary guardianship of my nephew so that is another reason I've held off on going. But it has been almost two months since we put in for that, so I'm assuming it's not happening. If it does, I am also assuming I can get a family member to step up to the plate.

 

[jrstephens]

I might not be the best one to answer you, because I have never gone to conference. I also never see myself being able to attend. I say that you need to do what is right for you and your family. Yes, I have heard that attending conference would really boost your PC career, but in my situation I doubt I will ever be able to attend. My husband would never go for me going away for this business, so I just have to do what I can to motivate myself without conference. We all have to make choices, and I am one who believes that family definitely comes first. I would not feel right about spending money leaving the family home when I could spend it on a vacation with them. As for leaving babies, I don't know how anyone does that.

I COMPLETELY agree with you! This is why I do not have a desire to go to conference. It is wonderful for those that want, can and love to go but it is not for everyone. That's what I love about thi sbusiness, it is my business to do what I please! WAHOO!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Everyone...I jumped in, posted this thread, and then jumped back off of Chef Success. This is the first time I had to come back and read the replies and I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH! This site is such a wealth of information and support!

I am still not 100% decided...just really leaning towards not going. I have some awesome prayer partners helping me to lift this situation up to the Lord to see what is HIS will regarding this situation. He has dropped a couple of leads into my lap over the last few days, so I am not sure if He is saying "invest in this business and I will help you" or that He can supply my needs in ways OTHER than conference. I know if He wants me there, He will supply my financial need. I would appreciate any and all prayers for God to lead me in HIS direction regarding this....

Thanks again everyone! I love all of you for being so supportive and reminding me of BOTH sides of this decision!!

 

[Intrepid_Chef]

Kelly ... tell ya what ... you pray for me and I'll pray for you, OK? I mean it!Read the following thread if you want to know why this is suddenly such an issue for me:http://www.chefsuccess.com/f18/ive-been-downsized-36785/

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Everyone...I jumped in, posted this thread, and then jumped back off of Chef Success. This is the first time I had to come back and read the replies and I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH! This site is such a wealth of information and support!

I am still not 100% decided...just really leaning towards not going. I have some awesome prayer partners helping me to lift this situation up to the Lord to see what is HIS will regarding this situation. He has dropped a couple of leads into my lap over the last few days, so I am not sure if He is saying "invest in this business and I will help you" or that He can supply my needs in ways OTHER than conference. I know if He wants me there, He will supply my financial need. I would appreciate any and all prayers for God to lead me in HIS direction regarding this....

Thanks again everyone! I love all of you for being so supportive and reminding me of BOTH sides of this decision!!

Kelly, I will certainly keep your decision in my prayers! I know that God will lead you and you will know without a shadow of a doubt that He is either leading you to go to conference, or not go! Hang in there---your my homie!

 

[raebates]

Kelly, you know I'll be praying for God to make His will really clear for you. Personally, I always need the really big, flashing, neon sign to be sure. Follow your heart. I know it's often hard to do what you believe is right when it's not necessarily what you want to do. It sounds to me like you'll get lots of great information whichever decision you make. You and I both know that God will bless you abundantly when you follow His plan.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Update:

I have been praying over this for a long time, and talked extensively with DH. With finances, houses on the market, DH starting a new business venture, and desperately wanting to go visit my brother and SIL in SC, I am going to pass on NC. I am sad to miss out on meeting more CS people, spending awesome time with my Director and cluster, and seeing the new products and attending super sessions, but we just can't justify the expense right now. I am bummed, but glad that the decision is made and I don't have to worry about it anymore. DH really helped me to "talk it out" and come to a decision- he is such a rock to me!

I will miss all of you!
Keep me IN THE LOOP LADIES!!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Good for you for making the decision to keep your family first. Take care of yourself and we'll see you next year!

 

[janetupnorth]

Kelly - I really hope having the decision made relieves some stress from you. We'll fill you in later and work your business during that time!!!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Kelly - we will make sure you are in the Loop!

God will bless and honor your business - He is not dependent on Conference to do that!

 

[Intrepid_Chef]

Kelly ... I'm sorry I'll miss seeing you but really ... you will do fine, with or without NC!Your gonna take all the bookings in the tri-county area while I'm gone, I just know it!Chef Success people ... track me down .. I meant what I said about delivering notes in person!

 

[pckrissy]

Kelly, how many NC have you attended? I have been to 2 since I joined 2 1/2 years ago and attended Leadership in January (pregnant)....which was very tiring and the walking and crowds were something i wasn't thinking about when I decided to go and I think there is more walking involved at NC then there was at leadership...so my advice to you is, don't beat yourself up over not going to conference...and go visit your family....life is short. I just had a friend of mine from high school pass suddenly this weekend and it makes you realize how short life is and not to put off certain things til later...especially visiting family you don't get to see to often..
I hope this helps you...I have also decided not to go to conference this year, which was a hard decision for me as well but since I am breastfeeding and not willing to bring Ryan with me...I thought I'd skip this year...he won't be an infant who needs me for long...

 

[raebates]

Kelly, it sounds like you made the right decision for you for this year. We'll miss your smiling face, but we'll share what we learned with you when we return. Congratulations on setting your priorities and sticking to them. God will bless you for following His promptings.