Unsure About the Future of My Business...

[mrshamel3808]

I know I'm planning ahead, but I figure it's better to know now then when it's actually upon me. I've been a consultant for a little over 3 months and I'm really enjoying it. The income I'm earning is all extra for savings, not something we rely on. My hubby and I have been married for almost 1 1/2 years and were planning on starting to try to have kids around 2 years. Now, I know there's alot of things that could happen, but I'm going to assume that as soon as we start trying we'll get pregnant. I firmly believe in attachment parenting (not saying it's for everyone and I'm not here to talk about the pros and cons so please don't start arguing). What I mean by that is that I plan on co-sleeping with my baby until ? (not sure, probably until the next baby's born, hopefully 2-3 years later), on-demand breastfeeding at least the first 6 months (never using a bottle, pumped or forumla, if I can help it), nursing for a extended time (obviously some kids ween themselves younger but I won't force it before 3 years old), not letting my baby cry themselves to sleep in a crib ever, etc. These are all things my parents did with me and my siblings and that 95%+ of my aunts did with my cousins. I've seen it work, tho it takes alot of sacrifice, and have a deep desire to raise my children in this way. I know I must not be alone in this mindset though alot, if not most, probably think I'm an extreme.

So here comes the dilemma...how do I keep my business going when to parent they way I want I'm probably out of comission (no pun intended) for a good 6 months? if it was only 1-2 months like most working moms on maternity leave, I could arrange 2 catalog shows, 1 for each month. Even my mom and m-i-l would do them if not other customers. But 6+ months is a LONG time. I was thinking about it last night and thought that maybe after a few months I could only schedule shows for Saturday brunch/lunch but that seems so restrictive to my customers that it'd be a turn-off for them. But if I'm nursing to sleep, then I can't be out late at nights. And until the time between nursing is 3+ hours I really can't do any shows at all.

Has anyone ever done this successfully, I guess, is my question?

 

[DebbieJ]

You are getting WAY ahead of yourself. I wouldn't worry about it until you actually meet your child and know what you and he/she can handle.

 

[NooraK]

I haven't personally done it, but I think you could do it. There are consultants who sustain their business with just catalog shows. You don't lose your consultant status until you have been inactive (no $150 in sales) for six months in a row. You'll lose your career sales after 2, but if that doesn't matter to you, then it's not a worry.

I would say to grow your business as much as possible in the time leading up to this event, then you'll have a large enough customer base that you'll be able to pull together catalog shows or online orders that are sufficient to keep you where you want to be in those first six monhts.

Another option to consider is to do shows in your own home. You can offer your home to the host, or host cooking classes or something. This way you don't have to leave (eliminates driving time) and if the baby needs you, you'll be right there.

Kudos to you for being in a position to stay home like that in the first place (especially in CA)!

 

[janetupnorth]

You'll have to cross that road closer to when it comes. It's hard to plan when you have no clue at this time WHEN you will get pregnant or have a kid. It may take a month, it may take years. Work your business today and hopefully build it so you can make those decisions then.On the attachment parenting thing so some readers don't get confused, attachment parenting is a philosophy that covers many things. Not attachment parenting = sleeping with your child until 2-3 years old. I never practiced "baby wearing" or "on-demand breastfeeding" but still believe we very much practice attachment parenting in many aspects. They get nurturing touch, consistent and loving care, and balance.I know a few who do attachment parenting as the OP describes (I know Deb knows one too). I agree with Deb though, don't worry as much now about what you will do and cross that road in more detail when it comes.

 

[mrshamel3808]

You are getting WAY ahead of yourself. I wouldn't worry about it until you actually meet your child and know what you and he/she can handle.

I don't feel I'm getting WAY ahead of myself because I want to have a plan ready by the time it happens. Most of my "plans" for how we want to raise our family aren't dependant on the child. The specifics may be, but not the overall idea. I don't want to give birth and go "shoot, I haven't lined up anything and i"m going to be out for 6+ months" and have to work. I'd really prefer not to have to do much work for the first 3-6 months, already have the shows booked, just have to collect the orders. For that I'd need to plan ahead. And while I wouldn't start planning til close to having the baby, I still haven't really figured out what sounds best so I just want to hear real life experiences of someone else who did it and what worked for them.

 

[loreo]

I don't feel I'm getting WAY ahead of myself because I want to have a plan ready by the time it happens. Most of my "plans" for how we want to raise our family aren't dependant on the child. The specifics may be, but not the overall idea. I don't want to give birth and go "shoot, I haven't lined up anything and i"m going to be out for 6+ months" and have to work. I'd really prefer not to have to do much work for the first 3-6 months, already have the shows booked, just have to collect the orders. For that I'd need to plan ahead. And while I wouldn't start planning til close to having the baby, I still haven't really figured out what sounds best so I just want to hear real life experiences of someone else who did it and what worked for them.

I think what she is trying to say is that you really won't know until you are in the throes of motherhood. We can tell you our experiences but they will be just that- our experiences. One thing I will tell you is that each child is different. You may have plans but they may have different plans. Be prepared to adjust, be prepared that what you think will absolutely work may not, be prepared to adjust to what is best for your child.
It's good to prepare but there are some things you can't prepare for.

 

[DebbieJ]

I think what she is trying to say is that you really won't know until you are in the throes of motherhood. We can tell you our experiences but they will be just that- our experiences. One thing I will tell you is that each child is different. You may have plans but they may have different plans. Be prepared to adjust, be prepared that what you think will absolutely work may not, be prepared to adjust to what is best for your child.
It's good to prepare but there are some things you can't prepare for.

Exactly. I would call myself an AP parent, but even still, you have to do what works. AP is just a label, it doesn't have to dictate your every parenting move. Maybe your child won't like babywearing. Or maybe your child will go down just fine without nursing. You don't know until you have the experience.

 

[etteluap70PC]

I think what she is trying to say is that you really won't know until you are in the throes of motherhood. We can tell you our experiences but they will be just that- our experiences. One thing I will tell you is that each child is different. You may have plans but they may have different plans. Be prepared to adjust, be prepared that what you think will absolutely work may not, be prepared to adjust to what is best for your child.
It's good to prepare but there are some things you can't prepare for.

Excellent advice!

I remember well being in new mommy class with my first born. Many of us had ideas and plans on how we wanted to parent. It was a rude awakening when we realized our ideals and ideas did not always fit with our little ones!

If you want to stay with pc then work your biz like normal, after you conceive you can re-evaluate. It may not happen right away as you assume. It took a year for me to get prego with #2. It will happen when it is meant to.

Relax and enjoy the journey.

 

[janetupnorth]

That and also Deb knows from much more experience in this business that it is constantly changing. You are depending on people and circumstances. You can plan all you want for what you THINK you want to do but the best thing to do is just work on building your business and not focusing on a specific plan for then. Work on your customer base and building relationships so when the time comes, you can do what works.She's trying to kindly say not to waste too much effort and worrying on something that change by then and use the time and energy to focus on your business today....ooh, and I like what Paulette said...relax and enjoy!

 

[chefsteph07]

No doubt. I "planned" alot of things when I was pregnant. I took breastfeeding classes and wanted to nurse for over 6 months because I didn't want to spend money on formula. Guess what? While after giving birth in the hospital, I discovered I could NOT nurse so there threw that "plan" out the window. I "planned" on having a natural childbirth and took 6 weeks of birthing classes and guess what? I had a scheduled C section so that was that! There are lots of things that I "plan" on that dont always work out, especially when it comes to my child.

Work your business now and the moment you find out you are pregnant, you can start thinking about what you are going to do after that. You will have a long 9 months to figure everything out. That's plenty of time.

 

[pcchefjane]

I admire what you are saying you want to do. That said, my DD & SIL are the parents of my only grandchildren. I would say they are very much in their children's lives without doing "attached parenting". Josiah will be 3 on September 3 and Maggi will be 1 on August 14. They are two very different children. Where Josiah liked to be fed with a spoon for a long time, Maggi at 9 months decided she wanted to feed herself. Josiah had no major problems with whatever he ate. Maggi spit up the breast milk for months and finally had to be put on Axid at 5 months so she could hold down the breast milk to sleep. Both have been breast-fed and Ali pumped with both of them. They have nothing but her breast milk until 12 months. Josiah slept through the night at 9 months; Maggi still does not. I moved down to their city 2 years ago and in October, moved in with them. Josiah has been "spending the night" at Mamaw's since he was 10 months old. He sleeps 3 nights a week with me. Maggi just started her one night with me. She and her parents shared a bedroom until 2 weeks ago. She is sleeping much better since she is alone in her bedroom. While many people have the philosophy you do, keep in mind that you need to remember your children are individuals and may not want to be sleeping with you until they are old enough to have a baby brother or sister. As others have said, our business is flexible and can be done however you want it. I think the idea of having the Shows in your own home for a little while after the baby is born is a great idea. "On demand" feeding doesn't necessarily mean 24 hours straight! Are you going to stay home 24/7 after the baby is born until he/she is weaned? Doubtfully...so why stop your business? Hang in there! Maybe you will be one who gets pregnant right away... Then again God's plans may be much different than yours and you may not. Don't stress yourself out about getting pregnant right away! It will happen in God's timing...which isn't always ours!

 

[susanr613]

As a long-term planner myself, I think it's a good idea to do what Elise is doing - contemplating the possibilities and impacts. I would focus now on building the business so that it can be sustained with customer orders and catalog shows for as long as you need.

With regard to the parenting decisions, I applaud you for identifying what you want to do, and hope that when reality sets in, you are ok with adjusting. It was hard for me, as I used to be a real control freak.

Best of luck!!

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I haven't read everyone's advice, but I agree w/some that you can plan all you want; however, your child may have another idea. Example, I never put my first child down to bed crying either. I would rock her, sing to her, etc., until she was asleep and then put her to bed. I loved every minute of it. My Mother would tell me I was going to spoil her, but I didn't listen - it was love to me. It worked great and she did start to go to sleep by herself at about 2 1/2. My second daughter didn't want anything to do with me rocking her, singing to her, etc. She wanted to lay in bed by herself and go to sleep. I really missed rocking her too! She did like me to sleep in her room w/her when she was sick though. I would sleep on the floor and then creep out after she fell asleep! If I had to do over again, I think I would have just put a twin bed in her room (LOL)!

Good luck w/your planning.

 

[raebates]

I think it's wise to do your best to plan. It sounds to me like you're aware that life sometimes upsets the plan, but a plan helps you to know where you want to be. You might consider switching to catalog shows only when the time comes. Many of those you can handle online or over the phone, so they're easy to work into your schedule. In the meantime, work hard to build your customer base and customer loyalty. Concentrate on customer care so that when someone realizes they need a PC item you're the one who comes to mind. Make sure everyone has your contact info. Put it on, in, and around everything. This could very well mean the difference between staying active and going inactive once your precious bundle arrives.

 

[Jolie_Paradoxe]

Elise,

It's great to plan. I did similar parenting....my whole focus and my best "work" was my 2 kids. I think it's great for both you and the baby....you will, however, NEED a break from time to time. PC may provide a bit of space and "me" time. I think you will have a strong customer base by the time baby arrives. You will have at least 8 months (your pregnancy) to line up 1 customer a month who commits to 1 catalog show per the 6 months you need as maternity leave. When baby is napping, you can make your host coaching calls AND submit orders. When you need to meet with hosts, you plan when daddy is home....you feed the baby, and head out to pick up the money and wrap up the catalog shows. This is the easiest "job" to maintain, that has flexibility for you to have your mommy and baby time.

HTH

 

[mrshamel3808]

Thanks for all your input. And thank you Susan for understanding! Yes, I definitely am a "planner". Just to clarify a couple things. 1) I know very well I might not get pregnant right away, but I'm not going to plan for that because that would be counting on the worst scenario. 2) I'm not going to force anything on my baby. If it doesn't WANT to nurse, I won't force it down it's throat, etc. 3) I don't believe "attachment parenting" means exactly, and specifically, what I desire to do (there's lots to pick and choose from) nor that attachent parenting is the best way to raise every child. However, while all 4 of my siblings and all 25+ of my cousins were all very different babies, what I described worked for all of us so I am willing to try my best at it because I've seen it work well with so many different babies. My younger brother and a younger cousin wouldn't breastfeed well when they were born but my mom and aunt were consistent and worked hard at it and got them to thrive eventually (again, not saying that a mom who doesn't isn't a good mom) so I want to be able to work with my baby to parent them in the way I desire and feel God is calling me to even if it means putting all of life on hold for a while. 4) I know on-demand breastfeeding doesn't mean 24/7 but I also can't take the baby with me to shows! Nor can I stop in the middle of a show even in my own home to nurse the baby. True, babies set up their own schedules (or adjust to schedules set for them) but that doesn't rule out spur of the moment feedings. If that happens in the middle of the show, I couldn't just let my baby scream while I go about my business.

I'm planning on being very flexible with my baby, which is why I'm trying to think ahead to how the business can fit in where possible. I think more than anything, I was looking for personal experiences so I can learn from others who have been successful at similar ventures.

 

[shelly.nurse]

One thing that you may want to make sure of....umm, did you share these plans with your husband???

He may have some thoughts, it is his child and his marriage too. Make sure he is on board with your plans to co-sleep with your baby. You don't want him to feel bitter or excluded (some fathers do in this situation). Also, he may not want to give up certain intimacies that would be hindered with a baby in your bed. Make sure that as you are nurturing your child, you are also nurturing your marriage, after all, it IS for life!! I have seen a lot of marriages go south after the baby was born because mom's sole focus was the child, to the detriment of the father.

I agree with all of the other posters, when you add pregnancy and children into the mix, all sorts of plans have to change on a dime!! Your child may not like to sleep with you. Your husband may not like you breast feeding for 3 years at a time, again, he may want to share the experience of feeding his child. In the three years you plan on breast feeding, and never giving your baby a bottle, you never plan on going out anywhere??? That is pretty unrealistic. Again, you and your husband must have some time together alone, a "date night" if you will.

It would be nice if more women could stay home with their children and raise them themselves. I did, with mine, but I found a balance between raising my children, finding time for my marriage and making sure to foster independence in my children. Also, there is nothing wrong with pumping and giving your baby a bottle once in a while!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Thanks for all your input. And thank you Susan for understanding! Yes, I definitely am a "planner". Just to clarify a couple things. 1) I know very well I might not get pregnant right away, but I'm not going to plan for that because that would be counting on the worst scenario. 2) I'm not going to force anything on my baby. If it doesn't WANT to nurse, I won't force it down it's throat, etc. 3) I don't believe "attachment parenting" means exactly, and specifically, what I desire to do (there's lots to pick and choose from) nor that attachent parenting is the best way to raise every child. However, while all 4 of my siblings and all 25+ of my cousins were all very different babies, what I described worked for all of us so I am willing to try my best at it because I've seen it work well with so many different babies. My younger brother and a younger cousin wouldn't breastfeed well when they were born but my mom and aunt were consistent and worked hard at it and got them to thrive eventually (again, not saying that a mom who doesn't isn't a good mom) so I want to be able to work with my baby to parent them in the way I desire and feel God is calling me to even if it means putting all of life on hold for a while. 4) I know on-demand breastfeeding doesn't mean 24/7 but I also can't take the baby with me to shows! Nor can I stop in the middle of a show even in my own home to nurse the baby. True, babies set up their own schedules (or adjust to schedules set for them) but that doesn't rule out spur of the moment feedings. If that happens in the middle of the show, I couldn't just let my baby scream while I go about my business. I'm planning on being very flexible with my baby, which is why I'm trying to think ahead to how the business can fit in where possible. I think more than anything, I was looking for personal experiences so I can learn from others who have been successful at similar ventures.

Actually, I took my son with me to a few shows when he was first born. I made sure that my first shows after he was born were with friends, and I just took him with me! I'd nurse him just before guests arrived, and then I did a short show. I never had him scream in the middle of a show. He did wake up a couple times, but then, I had a trusted friend as the host, and she would hold him while I finished up. He was actually quite a hit, and very good for attendance! It was summer, so I brought a brownie already made in a stone, and then I demoed tools for preparing sundae toppings, and did a fried apple topping on the stove - whole show took about 30 minutes!I did this because it's what my Director did. She has 5 children, and when they were babies, she always brought them to shows.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I got some really great advice from my sister when I was expecting my first child. It mostly pertained to breast feeding. She said give it a try at least then if it doesn't work out you can change it. Unfortunatley I was not successful at it w/any of my 3 children. I did try every time and don't regret it though. I never even had to pump or take pills to dry up my milk - I just never had enough. Thank God my children were not born before formula!!

I think it's great you are planning - I am the same way. I think everyone is trying to help you not be dissapointed if everything doesn't go as planned.

My only other piece of advice is not only plan on pregnancy taking a while, but also plan on if you get pregnant the first month - this is what happend for me. We had read that the average was 6-12 months so we started trying and it happend the first month. We were very surprised!

Sorry I don't have any advice w/having a little ones and working Pampered Chef. My kids were 14, 12 and 9 when I started. I can tell you it seems I need to be around more now then when they were little though. They need to be watched more now, and I also need to be around more to give them guidance. I thnk it's harder now then it was when they were babies.

Best of luck to you and please make sure to give us the big news when you are expecting.

Take Care,

 

[janetupnorth]

Elise - I just wanted to add to the conversation one more time. Don't get defensive of your decisions you don't need to. It is your decision how to raise your child and you have TONS of options. We are all just trying to give you loving perspectives from being there. I too am a planner so even though not clearly stated like Susan, I understand. ...my husband is the opposite and my planning can drive him nuts because I want the details lined up in advance not last minute. But, I have also learned when to plan and to what level and when to ease up and let life happen. You don't realize how stressed you can make yourself by planning and then having it change and the older you get, the more you learn things you wish you knew 10 years before.Basically, what we are telling you is that business-wise, just focus hard now on building your business and customer relations. That is the best advice we can give you, not only in your situation but for everyone. Work hard and you'll do great as a consultant and as a mother.

 

[JDooley]

Actually, I took my son with me to a few shows when he was first born. I made sure that my first shows after he was born were with friends, and I just took him with me! I'd nurse him just before guests arrived, and then I did a short show. I never had him scream in the middle of a show. He did wake up a couple times, but then, I had a trusted friend as the host, and she would hold him while I finished up. He was actually quite a hit, and very good for attendance! It was summer, so I brought a brownie already made in a stone, and then I demoed tools for preparing sundae toppings, and did a fried apple topping on the stove - whole show took about 30 minutes!

I did this because it's what my Director did. She has 5 children, and when they were babies, she always brought them to shows.

Really!!! I would have never thought about this... I am expecting #2 in September and I breastfeed for the first 8 weeks without pumping. and then when I go back to work I pump and bottle. i do this to make sure my milk is in all the way and baby gets what it needs while I am gone... Thanks for including this I am sure that it will help more than OP.... I know it did me, I would have NEVER concidered taking baby, now I know it has been done without much fuss!

 

[etteluap70PC]

Elise - I just wanted to add to the conversation one more time. Don't get defensive of your decisions you don't need to. It is your decision how to raise your child and you have TONS of options. We are all just trying to give you loving perspectives from being there. I too am a planner so even though not clearly stated like Susan, I understand. ...my husband is the opposite and my planning can drive him nuts because I want the details lined up in advance not last minute. But, I have also learned when to plan and to what level and when to ease up and let life happen. You don't realize how stressed you can make yourself by planning and then having it change and the older you get, the more you learn things you wish you knew 10 years before.

Basically, what we are telling you is that business-wise, just focus hard now on building your business and customer relations. That is the best advice we can give you, not only in your situation but for everyone. Work hard and you'll do great as a consultant and as a mother.

Well Put Janet! I know I was just relaying my experience as that is all I can do. I always give credit to the moms I meet who do what works best for their families and do not worry what others think! I do not live in any of your homes so I have no idea what would work best. I just do the best I can day by day. Some days are better than others!

 

[pcsharon1]

My 2 1/2 year old has slept with us every night of his life.....we are just now trying to adjust him to his own little bed but it is in our room and if he doesn't want in it then we don't force him.

I also wanted to breast feed but had to settle with supplemental breast feeding because I simply didn't have the milk to feed him.

Don't defend your choices, they are your choices.

The only thing I want to add it this...........if you only want to do Saturday and Sunday brunch shows, then only offer Saturday and Sunday brunch shows and don't apologize for it. Understand that won't work for some of your customers but others will simply say okay and pick a date. It's your business to work around your schedule.

 

[mrshamel3808]

Thanks guys, that's why I said in my first post this wasn't to open up a discussion on HOW to raise a kid. I appreciate Becky's experience of taking her baby with her. THAT'S what I was looking for from this question (not that specifically, but that type of answer). Also, the advice to really build my business now so that I have more options when the time comes is very helpful. It's hard to see a time when it's not taking alot of work to get 2-4 shows a month since my business is just starting. I tend to do alot of research when I'm starting something new and read about how all these veterans do it and then feel like I'm somehow failing when I'm not doing what they do.

 

[raebates]

Just remember it took a while for most of us to reach the level of consistent business we're currently experiencing. You sound like an organized, dedicated person. I have little doubt you'll achieve whatever you set your mind to.

 

[pckellyd]

I absolutely don't think you're thinking this through too soon. However, definately work your business hard now, so that when you conceive you can figure out at that point how to keep things going. You will hopefully have a strong business at that point to make adjustments that fit your life when the baby is here. I took DS with me to my first show, and he was 7 months old at the time! A newborn would be so much easier. The reason, DH had a function he had to be at and MIL was out of town. Other than myself those are the only two people that he is left with. Perhaps you have a younger cousin or niece that you can offer to pay as a sort of mother's helper to go to your shows with you and keep an eye on the little one. With the proper carrier and soem confidence you could probably get your LO to latch on and nurse completely covered while doing the checkout. Nursing did not work out for us, much to my complete dismay. So may I suggest that you find yourself a LLL, and a really good lactation consultant... just in case! That way you have a built in support system of trained profesionals other than your family.

I don't think I've made any sacrafices to parent the way I do, I have however made adjustments to my life which is what you have to be prepared for when you have a baby.

With us, DS slept with us in our bed for the first 2 weeks, then we moved him to a co sleeper attached to the bed, sometimes he still wound up with us. Once he was too big for the co sleeper we switched him to the bottom level of it and he slept at the bottom of the bed where he still sleeps now. He sometimes naps in his crib, and has slept 2 nights in it since he was born. I'm actually considering sidecarring his crib since I think it would be more comfortable for him, and he doesn't seem to want to be out of our room. We started out nursing and after 6 weeks of utter he!! when I finally gave into formula... 2 weeks later things were still not great but were better and he ped FINALLY agreed that he had reflux! If I had pushed harder I think we still would have been nursing. I still mourn that loss, but with our second I WILL know better. (That's why I suggest the GOOD LC) Also a truly breastfeeding friendly ped would be a godsend! I have a REALY good ap message board if you're interested. Also, if you're considering cloth diapers I can suggest another one for that. They both have a fertility portion of their boards so can help support you on that end as well.

Best of Luck!

 

[mrshamel3808]

I absolutely don't think you're thinking this through too soon. However, definately work your business hard now, so that when you conceive you can figure out at that point how to keep things going. You will hopefully have a strong business at that point to make adjustments that fit your life when the baby is here. I took DS with me to my first show, and he was 7 months old at the time! A newborn would be so much easier. The reason, DH had a function he had to be at and MIL was out of town. Other than myself those are the only two people that he is left with. Perhaps you have a younger cousin or niece that you can offer to pay as a sort of mother's helper to go to your shows with you and keep an eye on the little one. With the proper carrier and soem confidence you could probably get your LO to latch on and nurse completely covered while doing the checkout. Nursing did not work out for us, much to my complete dismay. So may I suggest that you find yourself a LLL, and a really good lactation consultant... just in case! That way you have a built in support system of trained profesionals other than your family.

I don't think I've made any sacrafices to parent the way I do, I have however made adjustments to my life which is what you have to be prepared for when you have a baby.

With us, DS slept with us in our bed for the first 2 weeks, then we moved him to a co sleeper attached to the bed, sometimes he still wound up with us. Once he was too big for the co sleeper we switched him to the bottom level of it and he slept at the bottom of the bed where he still sleeps now. He sometimes naps in his crib, and has slept 2 nights in it since he was born. I'm actually considering sidecarring his crib since I think it would be more comfortable for him, and he doesn't seem to want to be out of our room. We started out nursing and after 6 weeks of utter he!! when I finally gave into formula... 2 weeks later things were still not great but were better and he ped FINALLY agreed that he had reflux! If I had pushed harder I think we still would have been nursing. I still mourn that loss, but with our second I WILL know better. (That's why I suggest the GOOD LC) Also a truly breastfeeding friendly ped would be a godsend! I have a REALY good ap message board if you're interested. Also, if you're considering cloth diapers I can suggest another one for that. They both have a fertility portion of their boards so can help support you on that end as well.

Best of Luck!

Thanks for the encouragement Kelly! Like I said, my mom and all my aunts (except one who only has one child older than me) have raised their kids this way so I have alot of second-hand experience. I know to reach out to other moms for help and having my mom very involved and local I know will be such a blessing when the time comes. I'm sad for you that you feel you should have pushed harder to BF your first son! It happened to my mom with my younger brother and some of the nurses were really condescending with her but my brother is a happy, healthy, extremely energetic 7-year old today because she persisted (she conacted LLL and they recommended special teas and tinctures that she took faithfully to increase her milk and it's nutritional value). He never had failure to thrive, but they were worried that he would and so pushed her to stop trying before he did. If he had, then she might have been willing to supplement (one of my aunts had to when she had twins) but it was never an endangerment to his health so she wouldn't let them bully him. It did help immensely that the ped was on her side, it was just one particular nurse that was very rude and pushy. I don't want to say I know it all, and I know every child is different and every experience is different, but I feel confident in my choices because I've seen time and time again that they work. I'm sure I'll need all the ecouragement when the times comes though! haha It's REALLY encouraging though to hear that there are some of you that have actually taken your babies to shows. The thought crossed my mind as an ideal but I figured it was way too unprofessional.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Thanks for the encouragement Kelly! Like I said, my mom and all my aunts (except one who only has one child older than me) have raised their kids this way so I have alot of second-hand experience. I know to reach out to other moms for help and having my mom very involved and local I know will be such a blessing when the time comes. I'm sad for you that you feel you should have pushed harder to BF your first son! It happened to my mom with my younger brother and some of the nurses were really condescending with her but my brother is a happy, healthy, extremely energetic 7-year old today because she persisted (she conacted LLL and they recommended special teas and tinctures that she took faithfully to increase her milk and it's nutritional value). He never had failure to thrive, but they were worried that he would and so pushed her to stop trying before he did. If he had, then she might have been willing to supplement (one of my aunts had to when she had twins) but it was never an endangerment to his health so she wouldn't let them bully him. It did help immensely that the ped was on her side, it was just one particular nurse that was very rude and pushy. I don't want to say I know it all, and I know every child is different and every experience is different, but I feel confident in my choices because I've seen time and time again that they work. I'm sure I'll need all the ecouragement when the times comes though! haha It's REALLY encouraging though to hear that there are some of you that have actually taken your babies to shows. The thought crossed my mind as an ideal but I figured it was way too unprofessional.

Seriously - my son was a huge hit at shows! The fact that I was able to take my baby to work with me impressed a lot of people! I talked about that at my shows - how I loved having a job where I didn't have to leave my child with a sitter. To this day, I work my schedule so that I only do shows when my DH is home for our son. Only twice in the past 5 years has he been left with someone else - and that someone else was my MIL! It's one of the things I love best about PC - I can work, but my family still comes first.

My director quit a high-powered city management career to stay home with her children, so she was never shy about taking a baby with her to shows if her DH wasn't going to be home. Her youngest is a preschooler now, but she still sometimes takes one of her older kids with her as a helper. It's a family business for them, and I look to her as a role-model for how to run my business.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I feel compelled to tell you about an ad campaign they are running here in Indiana. It is a warning about letting your baby sleep w/you. They can suffocate and die. I already knew this was a risk, but I had no idea how many it happens to. They said an average of one baby a week dies in Indiana alone this way.

I just wouldn't feel right if I didn't tell you about this. I thought of you when I saw the ad. Please look into it while you are doing your planning.

Take Care,

 

[susanr613]

With regard to taking one's children to your shows, they can be a help even if they are no longer tiny and toothless. My 12-year old DS sometimes goes with me and loves getting in on the demos if the atmosphere is right. One time he talked quite earnestly about the Himalyan salt and I sold 3 of them!

Bringing your child to a show, if he/she is well-behaved (or asleep) is a super way to demonstrate that PC is family-friendly. There aren't many businesses that allow you to bring your children...unless you leave them at the company daycare.

All the best to you, Elise

 

[mrshamel3808]

I feel compelled to tell you about an ad campaign they are running here in Indiana. It is a warning about letting your baby sleep w/you. They can suffocate and die. I already knew this was a risk, but I had no idea how many it happens to. They said an average of one baby a week dies in Indiana alone this way.

I just wouldn't feel right if I didn't tell you about this. I thought of you when I saw the ad. Please look into it while you are doing your planning.

Take Care,

No offense, but this is ridiculous! LESS babies die of suffocation (SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) when they sleep with their parents if their parents are educated. The reason is that SIDS is often the babies forgetting to breath (hey, it's a new thing for them!) and they just suffocate to death. But the feeling and sound of another person (their mom usually) "reminds" them to breath. The trick is to make your bed safe for babies. A firmer mattress and not alot of pillows and blankets are the danger, not being with your baby (I got on the American Sudden Infant Death Syndrome website to confirm that I thought). In fact, they do recommend having your babies crib/bed in your room because babies who are nearer their mothers are less likely to die from it.

2. Place infants to sleep in a baby bed with a firm mattress. There should be nothing in the bed but the baby - no covers, no pillows, no bumper pads, no positioning devices and no toys. Soft mattresses and heavy covering are associated with the risk for SIDS.

3. Keep your baby’s crib in the parents’ room until the infant is at least 6 months of age. Studies clearly show that infants are safest when their beds are close to their mothers.

These are all recommendations to reduce the risk, and babies usually grow out of the risk within the first 6 months (when they're in the habit of breathing). Another thing too, is if you're breastfeeding your baby on demand (breastfeeding greatly reduces the risk of SIDS) then you're probably waking up with the baby and checking on them alot (with them in the bed). As babies that young, we usually slept very close to my mom and with the body heat generated with a young child covers aren't necessary except a sheet if wanted. And with the child next to the mom, the mom's body keeps the sheet from settling around the child. Obviously, there's no way to 100% prevent SIDS, people who sleep with their babies and people who have their babies in cribs both lose their babies to SIDS. But there's pros and cons to both ways. Again, as long as you're smart about it and don't just throw (not literally) your baby into a waterbed with tons of accent pillows and heavy comforters, I believe it's actually safer.

There is no "cause" for SIDS that anyone knows of, it's basically a freak occurence. So for them to run an ad campaign saying it's because of letting your baby sleep with it is very misleading. Did it specifically say "1 baby a week dies from suffocation because they're in their parent's bed"? Or was it just "1 baby a week dies from suffocation, sleeping with their parents increases the risk of it happening"?

 

[Sheila]

I agree that you shouldn't make a decision now. Hopefully, you will get pregnant right away, but there are many women (myself included) who didn't. It took us 22 cycles to get our first positive pregnancy test. That's just a blink of an eye to some of the women on my infertility board. Some of them have tried for 7-8 years or more & are still waiting. The best advice that I can give to you is to just keep working your business until your baby is in your arms and then make adjustments as needed. I thought I'd get pregnant right away. I was proven wrong. My neighbor was adamant that she was going to breastfeed, but gave it up in the 3rd week at the advice of the lactation consultant ... none of the tricks that they knew of were working to get her milk to come in and her daughter was getting smaller & smaller. Regardless of how much you choose to plan, your baby WILL lead the way.

Oh, and I had intended to take a leave of absence since I knew that I was having a repeat c-section this time around. I ended up having 4 people ask to do shows during my maternity leave. When I explained to them that I would be recovering from a c-section and could not do cooking shows, they all 4 opted to do a catalog show! One of them was going on while I was in the OR and postpartum! So if you have a good client base, you could very well do one or more catalog shows per month while you are on maternity leave & then pick back up with cooking shows when you are ready.

Good luck! I hope that you get your first positive pregnancy test very quickly and that you don't have to wait very long!!!! Infertility bites. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

 

[Sheila]

I didn't read all the responses before replying. Everything about babies is like politics. You will find people on the far end of the spectrum on any issue. Co-sleeping vs. crib sleeping, breastfeeding vs. formula feeding, bumpers or no bumpers, etc. You just have to find what works best for you and for your family.

SIDS is a term that is used when they can't find a reason for the death. The recommendations for what's safe changes all the time as new information is brought to light. When I was little, the "experts" were adamant that babies should sleep on their tummies to avoid choking if they spit up a little. Now it's "back to sleep" or you're at a higher risk. I started off on an infertility web board & then moved over to the pregnant side of the board when I got pregnant with my daughter. It's cool to see all the different perspectives on parenting. Everyone definitely has their own style. The benefit is that people are always posting links to new info in the news. The last that I heard there was a study out there that was showing some evidence to babies suffocating by re-breathing their own exhaled air. The study was still trying to do more research to determine how often it occurs, but the theory was that when a child rolls into a bumper, blanket, pillow or parent, they are more likely to not get "fresh" air. I think that might be what the PP was referring to. If memory serves me correctly, having the crib in the room with the parent is supposed to be safer, because you are right there to hear any little noise. They are also saying that having a fan in the room helps to circulate the air and is supposed to lower the SIDS risk.

But like I said, you do what works best for you & your hubby! My babies sleep in their own bed in their own room, with bumpers and on their tummies. My daughter would roll to the edge of the bed, get her arm or leg out & get stuck. It was happening so much, we had to use the bumpers to keep her from hurting herself. Our son is pretty active too, so we have bumpers in his bed as well. We've always used a fan in each of their rooms, but did it to drown out the outside noise. I didn't know anything about it being linked to lower SIDS risk until about 2 months ago. Go figure! LOL

There are some people out there who break all the (so called) "rules" ... bumpers, tummy sleeping, smoking around the children, etc. and never have any problems ... and then there are parents who follow all the "rules", do everything "right" (according to the experts) and still suffer a loss. Don't let anyone ruffle your feathers about parenting. Do your research, know the hazards and then do what works best for you and your baby.

Oh, yeah ... technically suffocation is not supposed to be reported as SIDS. Suffocation is a known cause of death. There are many agencies who group them all together which throws off the true stats. Another due date board recently had an 8 month old baby suffocate when he became entangled in his blanket. So very sad and traumatic that the family had to endure the loss ... but it's NOT a SIDS case. It was a suffocation case. See the difference?

 

[JodyB]

I have 4 children, started pc when my 3rd was 6 months old. Was pregnant with my 4th and breastfed 15 months with my 4th. When I was close to full term I shifted recipes...brought only what I needed, made my bags lighter. I took off 4 weeks from shows, held a couple catalog shows during that time. I brought him with me for my first 4 months of shows, and I overbooked! I asked the hosts if they'd mind if I brought the baby. No one ever did! Funny thing, I had my best season ever...no cancellations, high attendance! I'd either nurse him before I left the house or get to the house, set up and nurse him before the show started. Most of the time he slept. I made sure recipes were short, my show didn't last more than 1 hour, so if I had to nurse him before I left, I could, but never did he interrupt a show! When he was 4 months and we introduced baby food, he'd stay home while I went to a show. I'd nurse before I left, keep my shows short, my husband would feed him oatmeal/rice cereal, etc when I was gone, and I'd nurse again when I got home. It was wonderful for my husband to have alone/feeding time with the baby.
Good luck with your plans!

 

[pampchefrhondab]

No offense, but this is ridiculous! LESS babies die of suffocation (SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) when they sleep with their parents if their parents are educated. The reason is that SIDS is often the babies forgetting to breath (hey, it's a new thing for them!) and they just suffocate to death. But the feeling and sound of another person (their mom usually) "reminds" them to breath. The trick is to make your bed safe for babies. A firmer mattress and not alot of pillows and blankets are the danger, not being with your baby (I got on the American Sudden Infant Death Syndrome website to confirm that I thought). In fact, they do recommend having your babies crib/bed in your room because babies who are nearer their mothers are less likely to die from it.



These are all recommendations to reduce the risk, and babies usually grow out of the risk within the first 6 months (when they're in the habit of breathing). Another thing too, is if you're breastfeeding your baby on demand (breastfeeding greatly reduces the risk of SIDS) then you're probably waking up with the baby and checking on them alot (with them in the bed). As babies that young, we usually slept very close to my mom and with the body heat generated with a young child covers aren't necessary except a sheet if wanted. And with the child next to the mom, the mom's body keeps the sheet from settling around the child. Obviously, there's no way to 100% prevent SIDS, people who sleep with their babies and people who have their babies in cribs both lose their babies to SIDS. But there's pros and cons to both ways. Again, as long as you're smart about it and don't just throw (not literally) your baby into a waterbed with tons of accent pillows and heavy comforters, I believe it's actually safer.

There is no "cause" for SIDS that anyone knows of, it's basically a freak occurence. So for them to run an ad campaign saying it's because of letting your baby sleep with it is very misleading. Did it specifically say "1 baby a week dies from suffocation because they're in their parent's bed"? Or was it just "1 baby a week dies from suffocation, sleeping with their parents increases the risk of it happening"?

You're right, baby's bed in the room - not the baby in the parents bed which is what I was referring to in my post. Sorry if I didn't make that clear. I had my babies in a bassinet right next to me when they came home. I agree, it's best to have the baby in the same room as the Mother.