Mom's Day of Heartache: A Tale of Teacher Appreciation

[Dayna]

I love being a mom but days like today make me want to crawl into the bed and stay for days.

First every day in school DD gets either green (she had a great day), yellow (she had several warnings), or red (she had a bad day). Well she left her calendar on friday but said she had gotten green. We belived her since she has gotten green all last week. Well you guessed it she brings her folder home today and she got yellow last week and then red today. Today her teacher just wrote too much to explain I will call you tonight. We DD wrote on another students paper I hate Mrs. XXX (Her teacher). I can't belive it. I know to some it might not seem like a big deal but in my book its just like saying she'd kill the teacher. (She didn't write that of course) But its a big deal. I feel so bad for her teacher and this week is teacher appreciation. She said she did it to get the little boy in trouble because she was jealous of him getting praise. I wanted to say if you act like the little boy and behave you will but when you lie and hurt people its not going to happen.

I'm going to request a conference cause I don't know what to do. And I just love her teacher. When I heard what she did I was close to tears myself because I can't imgaine she is thinking about:cry:

 

[Jules711]

I'm so sorry to hear about your day. Being a parent is hard! I would just be praying about it a lot and trying to find others to talk to her about what kind of person we want to be. Sometimes moms are not the best b/c what do WE know? My parents are close with my DD and have more influence on that part of her I think. My DD is young so I have no idea how you are feeling or real concrete advice. We all have those days where we'd like to be on a warm beach somewhere blissfully unaware of parenthood.

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

What grade is she in?

 

[Dayna]

She is in the first.

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

I am sorry. I know its hard when you have expectations for your children and they seem to not care! I think you should express to her it's a big deal to hate anyone and that it's unloving to want to see someone get in trouble. She's in first grade so this maybe a lesson you may have to repeat many times. But it's better to fight the battle now, then later. In my opinion I would have her aplogize to the teacher and the little boy and to you and your husband for lying to you. There has to be consequences to her actions. Again, just my opinion, but I do understand there are days when being a mom isn't fun. I am sorry.

 

[vwpamperedchef]

It sounds like to me, you are a very caring parent!! I was a teacher, and I didn't have many supportive parents. Some just didnt care.

I think the teacher and you are headed in the right direction. Be open to the teachers suggestions. Maybe in another conference (after the inital one) have your DD come and hear what her consequences will be.

She must be learning the language some place, whether it be at school, playing with others, or elsewhere. I believe kids just don't act out unless there is a real reason.

I hope you can get some answers. Good Luck

 

[Dayna]

She is writing letters now. DD is a good kid but sometimes she does something and I'm like that just can't be. And today was one of those days. And I feel horrible for the teacher.

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

Thats great she is writing letters. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this wont be the last time she acts out of character. My boys are the same way -99% of the time they are great kids but then they'll do something that makes me wonder what night the body snatchers came and left some alien in their place!
I wouldn't feel to horrible for the teacher. I am sure her experience with first graders has toughened her skin quite a bit.

 

[PamperedDor]

I think a conference is a great thing - one on one conversation and guidance will help you and your DH -

Don't be so hard on yourself - teachers are trained professionals who deal with stuff every day - I understand you don't want your DH to give her a hard time (which is so kind and thoughtful of you!!) but trust me - they have seen almost everything and then some - especially in 1st grade - they are molding them for the older grades and kids are still little -

Cheer up - we all have those moments with our kids - Just wait till they are teenagers.............. OH the JOY!!!!

 

[Dayna]

Thanks everybody. She asked if she could talk to me and said she was really sorry. And she wants to do better nso she can be proud of herself. That statement made my day. I want her to do the right thing because its the right thing to do. I like that she is taking responsiblity for what she did. I'm praying she gets it.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

It is so hard when our children don't behave the way we wish they would, but they are human and have temptation, jealousy, etc. The good news is this is a teaching lesson for her before she gets older.

One of the things I always tell my children when the mess up is, "That's not like you." That way they know I don't think they are always bad - learned this from Dr. Dobson (love The Strong Willed Child).

I just taught 1st grade Sunday school class this year. One thing I thought the kids is they are always tempted to do wrong. I split the class into half on both sides of the room. We then had a divider in the middle. I crinkled up paper and threw it on each side of the room and said, "These are your sins." I would say things like, "I'm jealous my friend has a WII and I don't," etc. I told them they had to try and throw them on each others side of the room and how we are always trying to get rid of sin. They kept throwing the papers back and forth until they were too tired. They were ready to quit and I told them, "That is when it is the hardest to keep away from sin, when you are tired."

Anyway, I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this, but I agree the teacher will appreciate your sincerity when you talk with her. I think having your daughter write a letter of apology would be a good idea.

Talking about learning before she gets older, my boss’ son was just expelled from his high school last week--one month before graduation because he and about 4 other boys put a video on U Tube denouncing the school and teachers.

At least you will be teaching her to respect her school and teachers before something like this could happen.

Take Care,

 

[Dayna]

Update
DD princpal called and she is getting a day of in school suspension, on recess no special activity, and she has to eat her lunch in the classroom. I'm all for it. She needs to understand that she has a choice but that she has to be resonsible when she makes a bad one.

 

[PamperedDor]

Aww your poor little girl - I understand there are reasons for punishment, but when its someone else's kid, I feel horrible (oh ya, mother of the year I am!! LOL) I hope she handles it well and it teaches her the lesson to not do it again..

 

[pampered.chris]

I have been having so much trouble with my DD lately. I feel your pain. I get so frustrated and feel like I am doing something wrong as a parent. No matter how many times I tell her what she can't do and WHY she still doesn't listen. She was grounded from the computer. Well last week she got her internet/computer priviledges back and proceeded to start doing what she was doing before, downloading things from the internet on my parents computer. AAAAHHHH. I am so frustrated with her. I have explained to her so many things about the computer and why she can't just download things on the computer. Now I have to go to my parents house and clean their computer to remove this and all of the add-ons that she installed. And no one is able to help, they all just say, "it will get worse". She is 11 and I am ready to give up somedays. I feel for you and hope that everything gets better.

 

[MORFIA]

Been there---its going to get easier then harder--all in all this too shall pass-lol---I roured--- all I can say is at least she only wrote it---My son is 1st (now 12) told his teacher in 1st grade "I am tired of you being the only one who can talk all day without permission --You know we would like to talk too" and then said that the kids were more entertaining---Chances are the teacher may need a little coaching on half full and praises her for any lil thing---

 

[pampered.chris]

My son is 1st (now 12) told his teacher in 1st grade "I am tired of you being the only one who can talk all day without permission --You know we would like to talk too" and then said that the kids were more entertaining---QUOTE]

LOL!!! This is SO funny!! I am sorry but that is Way funny!!

My daughter in kindergarden was babysat by a lady w/ high school girls and my daughter started a popularity contest w/ the other girls in school. The teacher called me on that one, another time, same teacher, End of school day kids trying to get their coats and backpacks, parents in the room to get their kids and alot of noise and my DD says to another kid "This is a bunch of BS" of course it had gotten quiet right then so parents, children and teacher heard her. I got a call on that one also!!

It is hard to be mad when they are so funny sometimes. But right now, at the pre-teen years. I am ready to quit.

But I love your story, I will have to share that one!!

 

[pampered.chris]

Been there---its going to get easier then harder--all in all this too shall pass-

lol---I roured--- all I can say is at least she only wrote it---My son is 1st (now 12) told his teacher in 1st grade "I am tired of you being the only one who can talk all day without permission --You know we would like to talk too" and then said that the kids were more entertaining---
Chances are the teacher may need a little coaching on half full and praises her for any lil thing---

LOL!!! This is SO funny!! I am sorry but that is Way funny!!

My daughter in kindergarden was babysat by a lady w/ high school girls and my daughter started a popularity contest w/ the other girls in school. The teacher called me on that one, another time, same teacher, End of school day kids trying to get their coats and backpacks, parents in the room to get their kids and alot of noise and my DD says to another kid "This is a bunch of BS" of course it had gotten quiet right then so parents, children and teacher heard her. I got a call on that one also!!

It is hard to be mad when they are so funny sometimes. But right now, at the pre-teen years. I am ready to quit.

But I love your story, I will have to share that one!!

 

[MORFIA]

yes---my 3 sons are 12,11 and 7---
never know what is next--Try keeping the 7 year old away from it all a chore in its self---BS again at least it wasn't said outright-

 

[merego]

I am sorry you are going through this, parenting is a challenge. Mine are 15, 2 and 1.
I wish I could say the teen years are better, but they aren't I struggle everyday with my teen, but if I had to do it all over, I wouldn't change a thing. You can be the best, most caring, loving parent in the world and sometimes your kids just wont do or act teh way you want them to.
Hang in there, it will be ok