Is It Wrong to Call Their Mother?

[finley1991]

Since I don't have kids of my own, I'm not sure the protocol for this...

We have a pool in the back yard. At it's deepest point it's 15ft deep. It's snowing today and obviously the pool has been covered for months. Three neighbor kids jumped our fence and were running around the pool and started to get onto the cover. I went out and asked them not to go on the cover and to not play in our yard. (Everyone has 3/4 acres here so there is PLENTY of room to play in everyone's yard). The problem is, if they get on the cover, they will go right through. We don't drain our pool and if they go in, they will go under. So I asked the boys to not play in our yard and not to jump the fence.

Here's the question... do I call their mothers and let them know? Luckily I was here... if they do it again and I'm not and something bad happens, I'm liable, right?

 

[Gina M]

Yes!!! Call their mother ASAP! Can't risk having mischievious kids going into your pool.

 

[cmdtrgd]

YES!!!! Call their mothers otherwise you could be held accountable if something were to happen!!! Just be very calm and informative, not accusative.

 

[Gina M]

If someone called me out of concern for my kids - I wouldn't mind at all. Better safe than sorry!

 

[Chef Kearns]

YES!!

I have 4 kiddos and am a big tattler! What you've told the kids needs to be reinforced by their parents. It is for their own safety! I mean what if they ignore you and go back out there when you're not home and fall through the cover? It could be next summer before you find the boy! (maybe I'm exaggerating a tad, but you know!!)

 

[Kodeysmom]

I would definitely tell as well. Even when the cover is off they don't need to be jumping the fence to play around it. I think stuff like like just entices kids.

 

[MissChef]

Since I don't have kids of my own, I'm not sure the protocol for this...

We have a pool in the back yard. At it's deepest point it's 15ft deep. It's snowing today and obviously the pool has been covered for months. Three neighbor kids jumped our fence and were running around the pool and started to get onto the cover. I went out and asked them not to go on the cover and to not play in our yard. (Everyone has 3/4 acres here so there is PLENTY of room to play in everyone's yard). The problem is, if they get on the cover, they will go right through. We don't drain our pool and if they go in, they will go under. So I asked the boys to not play in our yard and not to jump the fence.

Here's the question... do I call their mothers and let them know? Luckily I was here... if they do it again and I'm not and something bad happens, I'm liable, right?

Call now!!!!! If that was my kids, I'd want to know. Plus you don't need that type of grief anyway. If the parent has a problem then so what! I don't know what could happen to you if something awful happened so I'd say to make sure you report it if the parents are not parents who get involved or are unreasonable!
I'd want to be called!!!!!!!!!!! And I even tell my kids' teachers to call me over anything because if I don't know, I can't fix anything and I'd better not just find out something when my child is getting in big trouble, if it's something that has already been addressed and I didn't get told about it!
Us parents can't do our jobs if we don't know! Inform them now, knowledge is power!
You will probably have a very relieved and happy parent that you called!

 

[JAE]

Yes, Colleen, definitely call the mom. Even if you didn't have a pool, they shouldn't be jumping your fence. Because people are so "sue crazy" a call is in order to head off any accidents of any kind.

 

[pamperedlinda]

How old are the kids? Probably old enough to know better. I'd call, especially since it involves your pool. Just be prepared for the parent's to ostracize you.....I had an incident with one of the neighborhood kids with my son on the schoolbus - I 'thought' his mom was my friend. They denied anything happened (even after the school proved my son innocent) and she has never spoken to me and has also forbid her son to play with my son. What a shame too, the boys are only 5 & 6.....I 'thought' that was parent's did.....

They jumped your fence?

 

[katie0128]

If the kids were just running around in your yard and there wansn't the danger of the pool, I might give them a second chance and see if they listened to you. But since they looked like they were trying to get onto the pool cover, I would give their mom's a heads-up.

I would be careful to not sound like you are "tattle" or trying to get them in trouble. Instead, explain that you are not mad at the kids, but are worried about their safety and what could happen if they "slipped and fell" onto the cover.

I have no idea if you would be liable if something happened, but if you talk with the parents and have talked with the kids, it seems like you have covered your bases.

If it were my kids, I would appreciate the call.

 

[erinyourpclady]

I agree...as a mom, I would totally want to know! Oh and I totally tattle! LOL!!

 

[finley1991]

Thanks for your help. I did call... two are twins and I spoke to their dad. He seemed no too concerned. (He's a bit of a weenie too). Left a message for the other kid's mom. Thanks for your help!

 

[quiverfull7]

Way to go! Far too many people nowdays won't take the time to call and just don't care. I have 7 kids and I SURE would want to know!

 

[MissChef]

Thanks for your help. I did call... two are twins and I spoke to their dad. He seemed no too concerned. (He's a bit of a weenie too). Left a message for the other kid's mom.

Thanks for your help!

Is the Mom around? Call the Mom! Or go out and talk to her! Great Moms are often married to weenies!!! LOL!

 

[kspry]

Good thing you called!

I also agree with Linda about being prepared to be ostracized - which is probably no big thing, but if you had kids they might be ostracized, too.

 

[ChefJoyJ]

As a mom and a former teacher - I say call!! The parents need to know. As a PP said, don't sound accusatory (is that the correct spelling?), but let them know this is out of concern for their safety. Use the line that the PP used. As a former teacher, I want to tell you to document the call. That way, you have a record that you called the parents to let them know and asked them to tell the boys not to play in your yard. I would also call your home owner's insurance to see what you need to do so that if an incident were to happen (god forbid) you were covered and/or not liable.

It is sad that in today's society, we have to make sure we are covered and not liable, people are way too sue crazy! If someone is clearly negligent - it's one thing, but you have a fence and have asked the boys to steer clear!

 

[finley1991]

The mom I left the message for called back. I told her (as I told the father) that they weren't doing anything bad, they just probably didn't understand the danger of being near a pool filled with water. She told me that she didn't even know where her son was. Nice, eh? The twins are 9 and the other one is around 11. He's the neighborhood trouble-maker anyway and gets the twins into a lot of trouble. I honestly don't know for the life of me how the parents let the twins hang out with them other than it's convenient and they think "boys will be boys."Thanks for all of your input. I feel much better now. (Of course I did just use our new Wine Bottle Opener to open a bottle of wine! LOVE the new foil cutter!!!!)

 

[dannyzmom]

I am glad you called!
And why the heck were 9year olds running around unsupervised???

 

[kspry]

I let my son run around the neighborhood with friends when he was 9.
But I don't think he got into anyone's covered pool!

 

[jrstephens]

Since I don't have kids of my own, I'm not sure the protocol for this...

We have a pool in the back yard. At it's deepest point it's 15ft deep. It's snowing today and obviously the pool has been covered for months. Three neighbor kids jumped our fence and were running around the pool and started to get onto the cover. I went out and asked them not to go on the cover and to not play in our yard. (Everyone has 3/4 acres here so there is PLENTY of room to play in everyone's yard). The problem is, if they get on the cover, they will go right through. We don't drain our pool and if they go in, they will go under. So I asked the boys to not play in our yard and not to jump the fence.

Here's the question... do I call their mothers and let them know? Luckily I was here... if they do it again and I'm not and something bad happens, I'm liable, right?

I would call!!! It is alway best in my opinion to call than to regret it later. We just had a radio dj's 3 year old son drown in a pool in AL this week. It was their own. But this really hits home with that! Call Call Call! If I was a mother I would want to know.

 

[jrstephens]

I am glad you called!
And why the heck were 9year olds running around unsupervised???

We have parents that let their twins who are in the 2nd grade run around our neighborhood and also their other son that is in 1st grade. It drives me insane. There is no way I would let my son do this. In this world, you never know what could happen and it only take a few seconds for someone to snatch them. This mother and father never know where they, they will just stand on the porch and call them until they come!

 

[RaggedyAunt]

Since you've called, I won't beat that dead horse, but I did want to mention you might want to consider posting "No Trespassing" signs on your property, if you haven't already. I don't know Michigan's laws are pertaining to pools, but in Indiana you have to have "NT" signs posted and have the pool behind a locked fence. I'm assuming you are in compliance with MI laws, but you always want to go above and beyond to protect yourself against liability in any situation. (I've worked in the legal field a long time; always thinking along those lines. You do not want a tragedy to occur on your property, but, God forbid, if it did, you would want to be sure you were as well protected against a liability lawsuit as possible.)

Tammy

 

[chefsteph07]

If they do it again, I would go so far as to tell the local police and maybe they can go out and speak w/ the parents and the boys...let them know that you are taking steps to avoid a tragedy in case something were to happen

 

[Teresa Lynn]

Our deck railing surrounds our patio, walkway, gazebo, pool & hot tub deck all of our gates must have safety latches & padlocks It is part of our insurance and HOA rules
If you have those safety features in place I'm not sure what can be done if there is an accident.

 

[finley1991]

If they do it again, I would go so far as to tell the local police and maybe they can go out and speak w/ the parents and the boys...let them know that you are taking steps to avoid a tragedy in case something were to happen

A neighbor on another street actually called the police on the older kid once. He was in his yard around 9:30pm with another kid and the guy heard them in the yard. He didn't know who it was and got spooked and called the police. The police took them home to their parents with a warning. What if the man had had a gun and took it into his own hands instead of calling the police? I just don't get their parents! We don't have laws here that we need no trespassing signs or locks on the gates. The only rule is to have your yard fenced if you have a pool.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Not really in defense of the parents, but as a person longing to live on some "land". If we moved to an area and everyone had 3/4 acres or more I would let my kids just roam. That is the beauty of living in that type of area. The kids can get lost in the woods or build forts or just have some unsupervised outdoors time. I hate that my kids don't get that as much living in the suburbs. I definitely watch them more here than if we lived on some land. My oldest 2 are 9 and 10 yrs old. They have more liberties than say my 4 year old. I think it is okay to let them ride their bikes around the block (together) or play with their friends in the street (basketball or football) or in their friends backyards. I try to let them have as much outdoor adventuring as possible in our cookie cutter neighborhood.

 

[lkprescott]

I'm glad you called! Perhaps those parents will worry more about where their children are! I'm always emphasizing to my son how it's NOT okay to be on someone else's property without their permission... it's trespassing. I think some kids just aren't getting the basics of respecting property and others' boundaries.

Better to call while they're trespassing and alive than to have to call their parents to go to the ER.

 

[lkprescott]

We have parents that let their twins who are in the 2nd grade run around our neighborhood and also their other son that is in 1st grade. It drives me insane. There is no way I would let my son do this. In this world, you never know what could happen and it only take a few seconds for someone to snatch them. This mother and father never know where they, they will just stand on the porch and call them until they come!

Not only snatching ... Some kids around here drive me nuts and I let DS hear my angst... especially when they're riding their bikes up blind hills in the middle of the road! Cars speed down our road and there's no shoulder so it's just a tragedy waiting to happen. If I knew the kids I see, I'd call their parents. A couple years ago a kid was fatally struck while rollerblading out in traffic... blind corner, driver had no chance to react... that stuff scares me.

I'm the hoverer... I take my kid to other kid's houses to make sure they have permission from that parent or I call to make sure some adult will be there. A lot of kids are just left to roam... their parents have no idea where they are. I grew up in the woods but my mom knew where we were every minute of the day... and if we were called home (she had a bell to ring LOL) you bet your bippy we had to go home or call.

 

[kspry]

I would let my kids just roam. That is the beauty of living in that type of area.

Yeah, we have common areas where they can climb big old trees, a creek with a bike path running along side it...great place to be a kid, and they get to mess around like I did, growing up.

My son knows not to go into people's yards & to be home by dark. The creek is especially fun for him & his friends.

 

[Chef Kearns]

I am so NOT a hoverer, but I am not a negligent parent either. I don't think that you are either one way or another. My kids have boundaries and strict rules, but I don't inhibit their natural development. I try to let them discover things.

We don't use them yet, but we are going to buy walkie talkies for the boys so they can go to the neighborhood park together. I think they are old enough for this and responsible enough to come home when told. I just can't stand the thought of smothering them. And there is no way I am going with them everywhere. What the heck?!