I Am so Done With Pampered Chef (Vent Alert!)

[gilliandanielle]

I am getting so frusterated with my PC business, and on day 27 as a director I am wondering if it is time to let it all go. My DH has recently started a second job as a golf pro (he has been a pro for years but hasn't worked at a course because he was focusing on his family's construction business) and is spending all day working. He comes home grumpy and tired.

He gets the kids up at 8 am so he can say hi before he goes to work, but then leaves and I have to deal with tired, cranky kids. I am 33 weeks pregnant, and with my history of 36 weekers I am counting down the days until I have 3 babies to take care of. I am slowing down physically and can barely make it through the day. I have no break at all to make calls, and even when people call me it takes forever for me to call them back or help. My kids have been staying up way too late so they can see DH when he gets home, but that just means that I have to deal with overtired whiners who aren't getting enough sleep until he gets home. All he does is play with them for 5 mins and let me put them to bed.

I can barely function as a wife and mother right now. I am so tired and hormonal that I just feel like crying 24/7 and burst into tears all the time. I love PC, my PC friends and everyone who has supported me. I have shows booked already, and 3 superstarters so it isn't like I can just "quit". I told them how wonderful this company is and promised them the support they needed to reach their goals.

As I was listening to the director call this morning they kept talking about how directors are the leaders of the company and recruiting 12 consultants a year is an absolute minimum, $36,000 in sales is so easy to reach, and that all directors strive for level 3 or 4. It hit me like a ton of bricks because that is not me at all. I don't know how I became a director instead of someone more deserving, but now I feel like I am letting down my downline that are supposed to look up to me for help and guidance.

Thank you if you have made it this far, and I am not sure if I need advice, opinions or just needed to get all of this out.

 

[DebbieJ]

Gillian,

Do you have a friend nearby that can take your kids for an afternoon? It sounds like you need a nap and a big HUG!!!

Hang in there. (((HUGS))))

 

[Paige Dixon]

Don't make any rash decisions while you're 33 weeks pregnant!

 

[cmdtrgd]

Gillian - relax about "what a director should be doing". That is a building director and it seems like you are in a holding pattern until the baby is here and maybe a few months after (can you tell I haven't ever been pregnant?) and you just need to maintain. Think about how you coach your team at your meetings or how your director does it. You coach them to reach as far as they can. You recognize what you want repeated or beat. You don't coach them to do the minimum. Sometimes that is all we are able to do! I only have $17 in sales this month and that was a HO lead! I do have a show on Sunday and it should be a doozy! The other three shows I had booked had to "reschedule" last minute...it happens! What YOU need to do is figure out what YOU WANT from your business and plan accordingly. Breathe! Remember there were 1000 directors on the call and many were upper level directors that have a huge contact list. They have tons of repeat customers and hosts and don't have to work AS hard to get the sales. And quite a few do earn TPC in sales. So, with that info, I would have said the same thing if I were doing that call. It gives people something to reach for!

 

[pamperedgirl3]

Gillian,
First of all, I feel for you! You have a lot on your plate right now & I can understand why you are feeling frustrated. But remember that this business is how you want it to be. You don't have to recruit 12 a year or strive for level 3 or 4. I know that my director hasn't done that since I've been in PC. Plus, not every director is a few weeks away from having a third baby!

With regards to your husband's job & the kids, why not either have them up when he comes home OR when he leaves, not both? That's just too much for all of you. If they wake up early to see him off, then have them go to bed early enough that you can have some personal time or some phone time. If they wait up for him instead, use the morning to get ready for the day or to relax. You deserve some kid-free time! Good luck!

 

[raebates]

Gillian, don't let your hormones do your thinking for you. Don't make any drastic decisions right now. Placenta brain does not make for good decisions.

As far as what a director is "supposed" to do, most directors aren't 33 weeks pregnant. Every member of your team and every customer will understand if you're not at the very tippy, tippy top of your game.

Relax. Enjoy the time before and immediately following the blessed even. Once you recover a bit, you'll have the perfect excuse for slipping out of your cocoon of blessings. (In other words, you won't have to feel guilty for escaping the DH and kids.)

 

[pamperedbecky]

Don't make any rash decisions while you're 33 weeks pregnant!

VERY good advice!! And add to that all the other stuff going on....young kids, a hubby who works a ton and can be cranky, and just normal day to day stress!!

Gillian, from what I've read in your posts and your encouragement, support, and knowledge-sharing to everyone here, you have a TON to offer!!! And take those "expectations" today with a grain of salt. Not all directors are at that level (probably why they're doing such the cheerleading and "pump you up" talk today). If that's not what you want out of your business (or even if you did but it's not possible RIGHT NOW), don't beat yourself up. After lots of director-related events (director workshops at conference, new director training, director training day, etc) I ALWAYS walk out of there way overwhelmed because it reinforces to me what I'm NOT doing, but "should" be.

So, definitely give yourself some "me" time if you can. You're not in a position right now to be able to manage it all and do everything you're "supposed" to do. At least PC-wise, you definitely can cut yourself some slack and not feel like you have to be super-director. It stresses me out when I'm feeling like I'm not being a good director or not coaching new consultants enough or not following up with people or not being able to work my businesses every day. I can't imagine how stressed I'd be 33 weeks pregnant AND dealing with two little kids on top of it all. GIve yourself permission to not be perfect with all of those things. Definitely vent if you need to because you'll be reaching very understanding ears here!! And try to take care of YOURSELF as much as you can. When you can think straight, you'll remember why you love this business so much and it'll help you get back into the swing of things when the time is right. So, don't make any decisions right now.

Take care!

 

[ChefLisa]

Hi Gillian!

Would I love to recruit 12 people a year? Absolutely!
Would I love to sell $36,000 or more a year? Absolutely!
Are both of those things going to happen for me this year? Maybe/Maybe Not.

But that is okay. We are Directors, but we still need to do what works best for us.

I am personally AMAZED at what you have accomplished during your pregnancy. You are the perfect example of why everyone should try this business, no matter how busy their lives are. I personally think you will end up recruiting more because you have a great story to share.

Will you be going on leave when the baby arrives? Have you thought about going on leave now so you can get through the next few weeks without so much stress about your business?

Please take care of yourself!

Lisa

 

[gilliandanielle]

Thanks guys!

Debbie- I do have babysitters available, but now with my DH working weekends and evenings I need to reserve them for my shows and weekly doctor appointments. I am resting as much as possible, but for every minute of rest I get there is two minutes of tiring chores/drama/have to deal with it right this second kinda stuff.

Paige- so I shouldn't get the new Britney hair-do on a whim??

Kate- thanks- that does make me feel better. I have only done $400 something this month and I have two catalog shows to close that I just can't find the time to call the hosts. I really want to earn the Fall director package because I have no hope for the sellathon, but April isn't going to be close to $1250.

 

[jenniferknapp]

Can you take the 3 month leave of absence thing as a director for the birth of a child?? Maybe that is all you need, and then you can give it another try in a few months.... and hopefully make a better decision then!Good luck and don't give up that easy!! I know that you must be a very motivated and hard working person/mother, because you are younger than me...and I feel overwhelmed without a DH or kids!!

 

[gilliandanielle]

Wow! A lot of you posted while I was replying! I have to run for a little bit but I didn't want everyone to think I don't care about what you wrote- I will be back to read it and reply!

 

[pamperedbecky]

Wow! A lot of you posted while I was replying! I have to run for a little bit but I didn't want everyone to think I don't care about what you wrote- I will be back to read it and reply!

You're so cute. Don't worry about us! See, I bet you're one of those people who worry too much about others' needs first! I bet lots of us here are like that.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Everyone has given you great insight so far and I would just like to add that what they said on the call was what THEY want to see us all doing. In an ideal world we would all be doing that but this world is not ideal. We all have lives and situations in our and our customer's schedules that don't always allow us to do THEIR ideal. I am so happy for those that do make the goals and exceed them! I make some of them. You make some of them. Be excited about what you have succeeded at and what is to come.

Right now, hug your babies and take care of you! Then do PC with that renewed energy.

As far as the early morning late evening thing is concerned, I totally understand. Is there any way you all can take a nap sometime during the day - make it a game. Read a book - some kind of quiet activity. Set an alarm and tell them if they are still and quiet until it goes off they get a treat. Make it a short time at first and then lengthen the time.

HTH

 

[gilliandanielle]

pamperedgirl3- I am sorry I don't know your name! I have asked DH if we can pick one or the other, but he wakes them up before I even get up, and he gets home around 8pm and my kids usually go to bed around 7:30pm. It is such a close time schedule that I feel badly putting them down just 30 mins before he gets home, but that 30 minutes is HELL!!

Rae- this is where I am having trouble. I know my team and customers will understand if I am not at the top of my game, but I have NO GAME! I haven't done basic things like host coaching or even mailing host packets. I have a huge stack of drawing slips from a fair on the 14th and I haven't called most of the yes or maybes or RECRUIT LEADS!! I just can't get motivated.

Becky- again it is the balance of it all that I am having trouble with. I don't want to and can't be super director, but I feel like I can't even manage basic consultant things right now.

Lisa- it is hard for me to "schedule" leave because I have no clue when the baby will get here. I have had 2 36 weekers, so that is around the end of May, but my due date is really June 19th. I could even go overdue too, so I just have no idea when to schedule a break. I have been scheduling a lot of catalog shows for May, but I am just shooting myself in the foot because catalog shows in May= no bookings for June and July. I originally made a deal with myself that I would call each catalog guest and generate some bookings. Now I am realizing that if I can't even call the host to check in, I am NEVER going to call each guest.

Jennifer- new directors get the requirements waived for the first 3 months (mine are April, May and June) and then have another 3 months to hit the requirements before directorship is given up. I am not in danger of having my directorship taken away by PC, but feel like I am letting my hosts, customers, and downline down by not being the director that PC is expecting me to be.

 

[janetupnorth]

Gillian...

Your life - your way.

That's what you have with PC and that's what you've been sharing. We all hit our PMS and hormonal pregnancy days. Don't make decisions you'll regret later. Take a deep breath...and if it stays this stressful for you, consider asking for a waiver for a few months then come back renewed.

Send all your consultants here to the virtual cluster for advice if you can't keep up, or talk to your upline about your frustrations, I'm sure they help out until you have renewed energy.

But, don't quit unless it is a LOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGG weighed out decision, because I'm sure you'll regret what you've worked for later. I wish I had the time to pull all your threads here for you on how excited and enthused you've been with recruits and to become a director...don't lose that enthusiasm...

Nuff said from me...

 

[gilliandanielle]

Thanks Beth- I know that the call was supposed to be motivating, but I just got overwhelmed by the whole thing. My kids do nap, but with a 2 and 3 year old I need my nap time to do my house chores, shower, get ready for dinner, etc. I try to sit down and relax during nap time but then I pay for it later when the dishes take me twice as long due to my "helpers". It is finally in the 50's here so I am planning on taking my kids for more walks outside, but my doctor told me not to do too much and I feel like I am ready to deliver by the time I get to the end of the street!

 

[BethCooks4U]

catalog shows in May= no bookings for June and July.

Tell your catalog hosts that if they get you bookings you will give them something - the show discount at the other person's show or some extra % off their order...

Just do 1 or 2 things each day. Call one person, write one note... Once you have the baby and things start into a routine you can start calling all those guests. Don't worry.

 

[gilliandanielle]

Thanks Janet- I love this business for how flexible it is, but my problem is taking my business a step down. I don't know how to back of a little without being too tempted to let it all fall down.

I should also mention that I am hosting my SIL's baby shower on Sunday, so that is adding to my stress. I was supposed to supply the house and games, and our other SIL was doing all the food. She called me two weeks ago and told me that she had a show at 1pm (she sells PL) and the shower is at 3pm. Now I am basically doing everything, but don't think that the mommy-to-be SIL should have a crappy shower just because our other SIL is such a $#($%. I just want to cry!!

 

[AJPratt]

Hold on there, little lady! Its Dr. Pratt to the rescue! You need to cut yourself just a little slack! You have done a lot of things in a small amount of time, plus, ummm... you're growing a person!

I don't know your DH, but I think it would help if he would compromise. Either see the kids in the AM or PM, but both is just killing you because they are not getting enough sleep, plus, its not healthy for them, either. And please know that I'm not judging him at all... I can imagine that its tough for him to leave the kids all day, but it would help if he could compromise a little. And, maybe at night you guys could have some quiet time together?

Hey... what about getting a mother's helper? That could also help. And with the extra bucks you'll make as a director, it shouldn't be too much of a financial burden.

As far as your shower, is there anyone else who can help out with some things? It will all get done. And, it doesn't have to be perfect.

You are a sweetheart. A kind and gentile, soul. Relax, this will all work out. (Consider this an across the nation slap for your mean SIL).

 

[gilliandanielle]

I love my DH to pieces, but he is the type that doesn't really see the big deal about me being pregnant. No matter how often I tell him I am tired he still "forgets" to take the trash out every week, etc.

I am making more money as a director, and my DH is finally getting some money from working so much, but now we are so far behind from DH not getting any money all winter that it is all going straight to bills so we don't lose our house. I am doing my best to potty train my 3 year old before the baby gets here so I only have to buy diapers for 2 kids, but she is fighting it. ANOTHER THING TO STRESS ABOUT!

On the shower note- my SIL just called while I was replying and let me know not to worry about it because she has the chips and salsa covered. THANK THE LORD because I was SO FREAKING WORRIED about chips and salsa!! (INSERT SARCASTIC TONE HERE!!) Omg- I am so glad you are slapping her because if you didn't I might have to and I am not sure I am joking... at least I could blame it on the hormones.

 

[pcchris]

Gillian, I'm SO sorry you're feeling this way! You were so excited to become a director! You should still be excited to be a director! I totally understand how you feel about wanting to just give it all up, because you can't seem to function (and I'm not preggo!), as I have been in your same mindframe for the last 2 weeks or so. My every day is a tailspin from the time I get up until I go to bed (usually very late...cuz I unwind from my day here, if you ever look at the times on most of my posts - LOL). The beauty of this business is that when you want to take a break, you can! Sounds like you need one pretty bad! I'm sure the pressure of being a new director is way overwhelming right now!
Here's another thing...if the shower is for your SIL, it doesn't have to be perfect! Do the best you can, people will understand!
I wish I could do something to help you, and you can bet your last dollar that if I could hop a plane to alaska to help you out, I would! (financially, not possible right now!) I'm sending lots of hugs and support your way...hope you can feel it! Hang in there! And, if you feel that you need to cry, do it! It helps me! Take it one day at a time...and we are always here for you!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Wow Gillian, you have so much on your plate right now! Sit back and take a deap breath (go ahead and cry too....), it will all get done.

Since your party-pooper SIL decided to schedule a show over the baby-shower that she promised to help throw then you NEED TO TELL HER that she can bring all of the food that she is supposed to make/buy/provide for the party to you the night before - no way should you have to bear that burden. The shower will turn out just fine....can you MIL help you out?

Don't you dare even think about quitting PC......just do the minimum for now until you feel better. Can you take a leave of absence w/o losing your directorship? You worked so hard to get where you are, don't give it up so quickly.

Have you had a talk with your DH about this? Maybe, you need to let him know exactly how you feel. I know he wants to see the kids in the morning and the evening, but honestly, if all he's spending is 5 mins with them then maybe the time needs to be re-aligned. From what you described, it sounds to me like the best time for the kids is in the morning, maybe he should wake-up @ 30 mins earlier and spend that time with the kids. Then in the evening you can put them to bed at their regular bed-time. With more rest for you and the kids I think everyone will be much happier.

Ans lastly, take care of you!


Hugs!

Linda

 

[Kathytnt]

Jillian - You are exhausted, frustrated and 33 weeks pregnant - Remember It's Your Life, Your Way Don't have other people making up goals for you

YOU MAKE YOUR GOALS - I think you first goal is some rest and someone to give you a mini-break and nap Wish I was cloer to help you out!

Kat

 

[gilliandanielle]

Thanks Chris- I in no way want/need money (let's not get that started, LOL!), but I wanted to explain why it just isn't feasible to pay for help right now. If I needed more money I would work more, and not be thinking about quitting. I do feel everyone's support and thank each one of you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so mucha nd that is why I come here to vent!

Linda- I tried asking my SIL to drop off the food ahead of time and she flipped out because she has to be getting ready for her show the night before (what? packing up candles takes hours and hours?). She said she would drop off the plates and cups the night before but she won't be at the shower until 3:30 (30 minutes LATE). I try not to talk to her too often because my blood pressure can't handle it!

I will try to talk to him about getting the kids up earlier, but have a sinking feeling that he will just get them up earlier and still guilt me into keeping them up until he gets home. i am so pessimistic (sp?) right now! I am sorry!

Kathy-I have a 6 hour scrap-a-thon tomorrow, so I am looking forward to the break, but my MIL has to watch the kids and she messes everything up at my house!!

 

[Kathytnt]

I Just Want To Give You A Big Hug

 

[quiverfull7]

Oh girl... I know how tired you are feeling! I had 5 kids here at my home day care and was pregnant with my 7th child.. had them here right until delivery... the first thing you need to do is decide that from now until sometime... you are going to go out and buy paper plates, throw away plastic forks and spoons and cups... use them for at least breakfast and lunch... that way they go in the garbage and you can omit that from your afternoon chores. The laundry won't go away but take one whole day off from it if you can... sit down in the afternoon when your precious little ones are sleeping, set your timer for 22 minutes and ZONK OUT with your feet elevated!!!!!!! What that 22 minutes will do for you is beyond what I can descibe. Since you won't be doing dishes... you have time... I've been through the exhaustion you are going through and I used to never say no when asked to do something.... right now you need to say YES to yourself and your kids... PC will take care of itself once you get some rest... 22 minutes every afternoon... that's an order from this ole battle ax of a mama... whose been there... I do wish I could say I was a director but ... someday! Could you bribe your children to rub your feet for 25 cents? OH MY .. how their hot little hands can make your tired feet feel SO GOOD... i pay and extra 25 cents for a lotion rub too. Sorry this is so long but getting your stress and exhaustion relieved is so important... and drink a glass of water every hour or so... you know how a wilted plant looks... I'm sensing that's how your are feeling... it's so cool how God made water to revive us and plants.... corny I know but that water will boost you too!!!!!!!!
We're all here for you girl... just as you have been here for us!!!! I'll be praying for you!
Diane VS

 

[gilliandanielle]

Thanks Kathy! I feel better just talking about everything. My kids and nephew are about to take a nap, but I get to fix all my dishes because I had a doc appointment yesterday and my MIL emptied my dishwasher. I can't find ANYTHING and every single sippy cup has no valve or the wrong valve in it and they are leaving everywhere. I was going to clean the carpets before the baby shower, but now I am even debating vacuuming... I thought I cared about what people thought of my house, but now I am not so sure

 

[gilliandanielle]

LMAO Diane!! I totally feel like a wilted plant- and I am starting to brown!! I drink tons of water because I am an ice cruncher when I am preggo (the doc checked my iron and I am NOT anemic). I will do the 22 minutes (probably 25 because I will take 2 potty breaks in 22 minutes, LOL!) just because it sounds so nice!! My DH tries to con the kids into rubbing his feet and it doesn't work, but maybe I could soak them in my mondo SS bowl!!

 

[priscilla]

Stop the potty trainingYour 3 y/o is stressed about the baby as well, and potty training can be such a power struggle (I have a three y/o as well). Put her in diapers, change everyone's diapers on a schedule. My friend did that with her two, and it made it so much easier for her.

I second the paper plates, and do come power cooking now! Get that freezer filled and no guilt over it! You are growing a person!!!

Stop being guilty about how you are treating your downline and hosts and all that. Your life Your way, and your life is revolving around babies right now. Don't let the HO make you feel bad because they pushed recruiting in the phone call. They are doing their job giving you the info and the push, but you still have the choice to accept the challenge or not.

Robin

 

[gilliandanielle]

I agree about the potty training. I didn't want to push her at all and didn't, but she happened to decide she was ready about 6 weeks ago. I still didn't push it because I knew everything would be undone once the baby got here. She wants to do it one day, but then pees in her pull up some other days. I don't want to discourage her from going, but I am not really reminding her either.

I really want to do the power cooking, but need to do a big shopping spree first...