Help Shape Our Modesty Study: Boys 12-18 Survey

[krzymomof4]

I am teaching our teenage girls at our church. This is an experience because I have all boys, but I remember being a girl
If you have a son or brother, etc. in this age group I could really use your help.
In our class we are studying modesty. What boys find modest and immodest. We are looking for boys to fill out a survey so that we can put some info together.
The survey can be emailed and you can email the answers back to me.
The reason behind the survey is lengthy and can go into further detail if needed.
Please email me at [email protected] with Survey in the subj box and I send it to you. It is important that they are completely honest.
Thanks

 

[chefsteph07]

My stepson is going to be 12 soon..I'll email you for the survey...

 

[GeorgiaPeach]

My guy will be 13 next month. I'll email you too I'D like to know what he thinks too!

 

[krzymomof4]

Bump....Looking for all the help I can get!

 

[Addie4TLC]

My son will be 12 in Sept, is he still eligible?

 

[Jewel]

just sent you an email. my son is almost 14.

 

[chefruthie]

My son will be 13 in May. I have 3 DD ages 24, 23 and 16 in May. What a blessing that you are teaching this to the young ladies at your church. All of our DD's have been taught this and it does make a difference.:thumbup: I e-mailed you for the survey. Hope you get a great response!

 

[MissChef]

I just e-mailed you, my son is 12 and I'm curious about his responses too!

 

[Stampaholic1961]

I just emailed you for the survey for my son who is 17. Will you share the results of the survey when you are done? I'm curious to see what boys think about this! From the clothing choices available in the stores I've been in lately (and seen on the girls I see), I didn't think that anyone else even knew what modesty meant anymore!!!Bev

 

[krzymomof4]

Our girls are reading Gifts, by Hannah Colley. She takes a very conservative stance on these issues. My girls were finding it hard to swallow so to speak.
I will definately let those of you who would like to know the results of what we find out. It is definately going to be an eye opening experience.

 

[JAE]

I just sent you an e-mail from my personal e-mail account. My son is 12 1/2.

 

[chefruthie]

Dana Gresch (spelling?) author of "And the Bride Wore White" is another great book for teenage girls. My 16 year old DD gets compliments all the time about how nice she is dressed. She is stylish but modest. She's actually a joy to shop with. She asks opinions of both myself and her almost 13 year old younger brother! The great thing is.....she listens to us!!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Email it to me!

[email protected]

My DS is 13

 

[Shawnna]

This is becoming more and more of a concern for me. I have a 14 year old (she'll be 15 next week) daughter who is very...very...well built...36D. Last year she could buy clothing in the little girls section and overnight she has blossomed. She hates the styles available in the stores. She will go to the boys section and buy long basketball shorts and boys T-shirts. Everything available for girls...even little girls...is cut low in the front, short, tiny straps for sleeves, backless, etc. A flat chested girl cant wear it because it falls to her belly button and a big girl can't wear it modestly because everything draws attention to her chest. I don't complain about her wearing the boys stuff except that those types of clothes hide her hips and chest, but make her look fat because they are so loose fitting...and of course its not dressy. We can't even find a decent Easter dress.

Prom dresses are aweful. I don't know what we are going to do for prom because she can't find anything modest.

But, I don't think most boys have been taught about modesty either. They think if it makes a girl look "hot" then that is okay. Then when they are old enough to look for a wife it all changes. My 12 year old is very sheltered...he couldn't answer a lot of the questions on the survey because he didn't know what it meant...LOL I had to explain what cleavage was. That is a good thing. Actually, he probably isn't a good survey candidate because he doesn't look at girls in that way...yet. He still thinks they are gross unless they can play football, baseball, etc. He still treats them like he treats his guy friends. I am sure that will change next year when he goes to Junior High. My 17 year old will be a different story. I am curious to see his answers.

I will say this though...it is not just girls. Boys see no problem with going without a shirt, or having their pants low. I had this discussion with my 17 year old today. He was outside working on his truck without his shirt. There were 3 women outside also...they work in our business. I quietly asked him to go put on a shirt to which he protested that his shirt was white and he was working on his truck and would get it dirty. I told him to put on a different shirt, but to get one on. He could not understand what the big deal was. I was being old fashioned and silly. Our society is not teaching our kids these kinds of values. Advertisements for anything and everything promote sex in one way or another. Ambercrombe and Fich has posters of half naked men hanging front and center in their stores. They sell clothes, but their posters have not clothes. It is everywhere. But the only way we can change it is to teach our children it is wrong and not buy the things in the stores...which means we are going to have to learn to sew or find a good seamstress.

 

[krzymomof4]

That is one reason that we are doing this survey. When we were talking about swim suits, I was shocked at the girls' answers. Mind you since I have boys, I have had to have different conversations with my kids.

 

[Shawnna]

I gave a copy of the survey to my pastor's wife. She teaches our teenagers. she talks to them a lot about that kind of stuff. But, we were talking last night that you have to spell out everything..."if your shirt is cut low enough for your boobs to show"...to teenagers and that they don't think anything about what their dress is going to show if they bend over. But we have grown women who are wearing short skirts and extremely low cut tops...or backless...and sleeveless shirts or dresses that shows their bra underneath.

 

[MissChef]

How quick do you need the surveys back? I had a show last night and tonight! So I haven't had time to show my son. We've also been going back and forth from the hospital because my MIL is in there right now.....
When do you definetely need these back by?

 

[kspry]

I emailed you.. please send the survey. It sounds interesting.

I just asked my 13-yr-old if he knew what cleavage was. He drew a line down his chest with his finger and said I told him about it.... I assume he knew it just meant girls, but ya never know!

 

[GeorgiaPeach]

My 12 year old is very sheltered...he couldn't answer a lot of the questions on the survey because he didn't know what it meant...LOL I had to explain what cleavage was.

I'm having my husband go over the survey with our soon-to-be 13 yr old. He didn't know what modest/immodest meant. So we started saying "hot/not hot", "skanky/not skanky".

I didn't want to embarrass Colter so I thought this would give DH and DS a chance to talk about this subject man-to-man.

 

[krzymomof4]

I think that is a fabulous idea Lisa. We always have "THE" talk with our children, but don't really think to have this conversation with them, especially with what is being shown on MTV and such.
I would like to have these back by next Sunday, but the sooner the better.

 

[friday]

I think I should tell you what my 13 year old said... I did have to do the hot/not hot thing and lots of the wording was over his head. He didnt want to finish the survey because he said he thought it was from one of "those over the top, extreme" churches. He then went on to lecture me that if these girls didnt have MOMS who ran around dressing like STREET CORNER ENTERTAINMENT (his words) then The girls would respect themselves enough not to dress nasty- but at the same time he informed me that overly strict religions are the cause of wars. He is a bit of a drama llama.

 

[merego]

Just sent you an e-mail with my e-mail address, my son just turned 15.
Happy to help

 

[JAE]

Wow. That's interesting coming from a 13 year old. I think much of this survey is going to be over my 12 yo's head.

 

[Stephaniecafe]

I have worked in the youth ministry in our church for quite a few years. This is a great subject thread! Sometimes girls are completely oblivious to what is causing a problem. How can the boys keep their thoughts on the good and right if the booosum is right there... My husband is very good as an advisor as well and very open with my boys (eldest 8 1/2). He told me it was better to tell him about the fire, before it burned down the house. When I was in my Seminary instruction this rang true with one of my instructors. He told us about a real experience he had when his house burned down to the ground and he stood across the street while his son sobbed in his arms. It was a tragedy, but in that moment he recognized the hand of God and said... Son, morality is just like this. With tear stained cheeks his son looked at him. He just said "son, had this fire been kept in the confines of the furnace, it would have brought us joy and warmed our home. Taken out of what the Lord established, it will destroy everything you love."

Powerful thread for parents who want their children to enjoy happy lives and live uprightly.