Finding a Nanny for Our Toddler - Tips & Advice Needed!

[NooraK]

Unfortunately the day has come that I have had to go back to work. This means Markus must go to daycare :cry: Between my and DH's schedules though, he only has to go 3 days a week.

We found a daycare to put him into right now, but I am not completely satisfied with it. I go in on my lunch hour to nurse, and everytime I am there at least one (if not more) of the children is crying. I know that the ladies don't mean to just leave them crying, but there are only two of them, and there are more children then they have arms and laps.

I'd love to find someone who can come to my home, more of a nanny, but I'm concerened about how to go about finding something like that, and the cost. My best friend got lucky and found someone willing to watch her toddler and school-aged son for $220/week, and she's available any hours she needs, and comes to her home. The care provider is a lady that worked at a day care she started with, and quit the day care when they made this arrangement.

Does anyone have any experience with services like SitterCity or Babysitters.com? Any other hints or suggestions you might be able to provide?

Thanks so much!

 

[cookingwithlove]

I am not sure how old your child is, but is there anyway you can stay home a little longer? As you can see by your experience with this daycare, a child does not get the same care as he would with his mother. I beleive young childern need their mothers. This is not a lecture, but just something for you and your husband to consider. When we first had children, I did not think we could afford to have me stay home. We carefully looked at our budget, figured out what we absolute needed and what we could live without. We lost two-thirds of our income with me not working. We cut things like car payments, organic food, new clothes, dining out, going to the movies. It was only for a little while, 5 years until he is in school, really a short span of time in the scheme of things. Again, this is not a lecture. Every family must do what is right for them, but I am a big advocate for doing whatever you can to raise your children in your home. I do wish you the best in your search. Good luck.

 

[Kodeysmom]

My son is in a great daycare. I know it is hard, we didn't send him until he was 2 1/2 and he is 4 1/2 now. They do have teacher/children ratios that they have to stick to if that eases your mind. I would search around until you find one you are comfortable with. We pay $112/week which everyone says is very cheap. They actually have a pre-k program as well. Its childrcare network-i know they have them in GA. But if you do decide to try and find an in home sitter, I wish you the best of luck in finding someone who is just right for you and your family. Keep up updated on what happens.

 

[NooraK]

Markus is 6 months old, and believe me, there is nothing I'd rather do than stay home with him. I did the math. I added up all the expenses we can't get rid of (mortgage, electricity, food, just the very[/] basics), and with only my husband's salary, we'd be about $2000 in the hole each month. If it was just a question of a couple hundred bucks, I'd stay home and try to make do with my PC business. But I'm not anywhere near a point where I can suddenly increase my income to $2000/month with PC. I'm probably not even working on that as hard as I could, but I do what I can when I get home, but at that point I just want to spend time with my baby.

 

[cookingwithlove]

I completely understand. I do wish you the best. I hope you find someone you feel confident with. I appreciate how hard it is.

Best to you and your family,

 

[chefsteph07]

Markus is 6 months old, and believe me, there is nothing I'd rather do than stay home with him. I did the math. I added up all the expenses we can't get rid of (mortgage, electricity, food, just the very[/] basics), and with only my husband's salary, we'd be about $2000 in the hole each month. If it was just a question of a couple hundred bucks, I'd stay home and try to make do with my PC business. But I'm not anywhere near a point where I can suddenly increase my income to $2000/month with PC. I'm probably not even working on that as hard as I could, but I do what I can when I get home, but at that point I just want to spend time with my baby.

There's nothing you can get rid of or downsize? Cable? Cell phones? Bundle packages together to get a cheaper rate? Go on a budget plan w/ your electric and gas companies?

I totally agree w/ the other poster about doing whatever it takes to be able to stay home. I've stayed home for 5 yrs now and believe me, it hasn't been a picnic financially and we have struggled and sacrificed...and, I am not trying to lecture either, because I understand that 2k in the hole every month is ALOT. But, maybe there are some things you haven't looked at?
I just think it's unfortunate that you have to put your baby in daycare that you aren't comfortable with...if your radar is going off, you know yourself as a mother, get out of that place and find something else. Could you babysit yourself to make some extra money?

Good luck, I don't envy you, especially knowing that you don't WANT to go back to work, that must be heartbreaking.

 

[jrstephens]

What about calling the Human Resourcs Dept and see if they could recommend anyone? That is who they are licensed through anyway.

I am fortunate that I only work 3 days a week. Luke and Cole go one day a week to a lady and her daughter that babysit out of their home and that I have know their family my whole life. The other two days, they are with my parents. I have the perfect situation other than getting to stay home.

I worry constantly about having to go back to work full time. My boss is in the hospital now and my future is in his hand (I work for a ONE attorney firm). And I know it would be hard to find the pay and hours that I have now without going full time.

I feel for you having to go through this but completely understand your having too. You are fortunate that you can go to the Day Care to nurse, I do not think all of them would allow that - they would want you to pump and send.

 

[Jennie4PC]

Noorak
Do you have any friends that stay home with thier kids that would be willing to watch your son? When I had my son in daycare I used a friend from church, then when she moved I used my neighbor who did daycare. It is definitly hard having to leave your kids with someone else, and you want to find someone you trust. I went back when my oldest was 6 weeks old and worked till I had #2 When I quit with #2 we cut our income literally in 1/2 luckily for us we only paid 400 a month for rent. (miss those days).
If you need to put him an a daycare dont feel bad going and checking them out. i have also heard to drop by unexpectedly just to see how things are being run.

 

[NooraK]

Thanks so much for your opinions. I'm not owrried that the center isn't run up to par, and I go at lunch every day because Markus is still nursing. I just wish I didn't have to, and that he had more one-on-one attention, or at least that there weren't so many other crying babies there.

I do have someone that I'm going to ask, we'll see how it goes.

 

[mscharf]

Noora, I am sorry for your situation. One thing I would consider is that you are going at lunch time, which is also nap time, so that could be why the babies are crying. On that note, TRUST YOUR GUT. If you think something is going on be proactive, you will never forgive yourself if you don't.
I understand some posters are trying to help, but you obviously have thought this out and NEED to go back to work, don't feel bad or guilty.
I would ONLY do private in home care if I REALLY knew the person, it just makes me nervous. Daycares are licenced, insured, etc. There is more than one person there, so if they need help or NEED a break they have that support.
Good luck, you are in my prayers.

 

[susanr613]

My son has been in daycare since he was 8 weeks old and now he's 12 years old - healthy, well-adjusted, doing well in school, etc etc. Every person does what she needs to do per her own values. You have obviously done your homework and resolved that staying in the workforce is what you need to do to provide for your family with your husband.

Michelle brings up a great point - trust your gut. I found Joey's first daycare provider through a list of licensed providers (I think it was the YWCA?). Chris lives in a small, well-worn house, with cats and dogs and kids. The first time I met her we were sitting and chatting, and her daughter came in with her friend and her friend's small dog. Chris picked up that dog and held it like a baby. I knew she was the right person for Joey. She, her daughter (9 at the time), and son (6 at the time) acted like the sun rose and fell on Joey - he was adored, well cared for, and rarely sick.

If you can, try to pop in during the middle of the morning or the middle of the afternoon, when the babies should be fed, diapered and rested. That might help you feel more comfortable.

Best of luck!!

 

[susanr613]

Oh and Noora - your son is adorable