Director Feelings of Conflict: Finding Balance in a Challenging Year

[chefkathy]

This year has been very challenging for me in all areas of my life (finances, marriage, parenting, extended family, mental health, etc). As a result, of course my business has taken a hit, but I am hanging in there. I am a Team Leader and still have my HO leads, so that helps. I didn't have my sights set on the trip this year. Toronto doesn't thrill me and I have a wee one at home--not sure how I feel about leaving him at home this young. This would be my first year in PC (besides my first, because I had joined in June that year) that I did NOT earn a trip. I checked my points today and somehow I am one recruit and 5100 points away from the trip (after subtracting the recruit points I would earn for that one). I have two gals who could still qualify in 2010, so if they both do, then I'm even closer. One problem--my December calendar is EMPTY. I have three vendor events and I never count on those for sales. I have just one show scheduled for Dec 18th and she just emailed me to let me know she is inviting just 15 people because her townhome is small. I am very drained physically and emotionally. I have very little motivation right now. My husband asked me to get a "real" job last week. My director and upline have not been helpful, nor has my sales manager. Right now my efforts are focused on my older son's health issues and his upcoming birthday and we're in the middle of remodeling our basement (not entirely by choice--had to tear down the paneling to expose the foundation cracks that were leaking). I don't know if I could handle a big push for PC too.In my mind I know I just need to go for it. If I don't reach it then at least I'll have the cash to complete our basement and hopefully fill my calendar for January as well. I just don't know if I have the heart for it though...So conflicted.........Just kinda thinking out loud here, but any insight is appreciated!

 

[cincychef]

Deb,
I am right there with you on the challenging year!!! I keep thinking what happened this year? and if only I had done just one more show, recruit, or even phone call etc in June or July, but the fact of the matter is I couldn't. This year has been a new one of some really low months for my business both in sales but also emotionally and when that happens everything feels so much harder.
I know no one can motivate you but you, but we can support you and be there for you even if your upline won't!! When I hit my lowest point, where I was really considering quitting, I told myself I would give it another 30-60 days to turn it around, BUT for that time I would give it my all. So I re organized my show folder system, got back on the phone, and made sure I did ALL my host coaching, and added 3 new team training events each month and it worked, my show schedule picked back up.! The funny thing is, the more shows I do and the more I am out working with my consultants and the busier I am the more I LOVE my business. It's funny how that works. I feel like my why is so much more in front of me now. I know everyone's motivation is very different, but it sounds like the trips is one of yours, I know it is for me! Then go for it and keep us updated. I am in a very similar position for the trip to Hawaii and I know we have kids close in age so we can keep each other updated this month. Good Luck!

 

[finley1991]

You can do it Deb! And you said right there... more $$ for the basement reno! What do you have to lose by going for it??HUGS!!!! :candyheart:

 

[jwpamp]

{{{Hugs}}} Deb! I am so sorry that you are going thru a rough time and will keep you in my prayers.Just to share, I had an awful year with PC and personally last year (2009)...it was the first year with PC that I didn't earn a trip -- my mom passed away at the end of 2008, my brother passed in March of '09 and our son graduated high school and then moved 3&1/2 hours away to college, our daughter moved 2400 miles away to Miami AND they changed the Career Plan. I was a mess! I let my business slip, felt sorry for myself and it took a toll on my health. I was both physically and mentally exhausted.In January of this year, I decided that I would have to give this business everything that I had and see if it worked or I would hang up my apron. So I worked my business like never before. And it worked! I just earned Hawaii -- had twice the sales as last year, my team has added 21 new consultants (8 of those were ones I added) and things seem to be working themselves out. Don't get me wrong...it didn't 'just happen'...I worked my a** off, but it worked.I am glad that I didn't give up this business before I really gave it all I had left. The one last chance was worth it. Either way it was going to work out, at least I knew that I couldn't have tried harder. In the meantime I also took charge of my health, lost a ton of weight and feel better physically as well.Good luck with whatever decision you make -- in the end it needs to be what is best for your family. You have to put them first. I believe in you, though...and you have so many friends here for you.Hugs again!

 

[pamperedbecky]

Aaaggghhhh, Deb!! I'm so sorry you're having difficulties. I feel for you. It almost would be easier if you were WAY far away from the trip.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you. With my biz and other obligations that have just been different this year than ever before. And I'm just about in the same boat as you with points. So, I don't know if I have much insight for you. I KNOW you could totally do it if you kick ass and put your mind to it. But, it's sounding like you're just not up for that. And you know what?? That's totally ok. We know how awesome the trips are and even ones we're not totally psyched about would probably still be great. But, give yourself persmission to not bust your ass and use every waking moment worrying it about it until Dec. 31st if your heart really isn't in it. There's always the next trip.

I've had to give myself the same talk because I'm just 6625 points away. AND I still have 2 new consultants who haven't yet qualified. I know one definitely will and the 2nd one probably won't by the end of the year. BUT, if they both qualified, I'm only 4625 points away. I haven't been plowing forward and cranking out the sales this year in comparison to the last 5-6 years. The trip didn't thrill me (well, Toronto - Maui would be awesome, but I KNEW there was no way since my biz lost momentum a couple years ago when I had to have surgery) and I know that affected my motivation somewhat.

There's this to think about too: I don't know if you have had this experience, but when I've busted my butt getting the sales I need for a trip in Nov and Dec, my January has usually sucked. Has that happened to you? If you decide to just have a calm December and not stress yourself out, you can focus on getting January and Feb booked so you can start off with a bang in 2011.

Well, not sure if this was any kind of insight you were hoping for, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone!!

 

[cincychef]

"I KNOW you could totally do it if you kick ass and put your mind to it. But, it's sounding like you're just not up for that. And you know what?? That's totally ok. We know how awesome the trips are and even ones we're not totally psyched about would probably still be great. But, give yourself persmission to not bust your ass and use every waking moment worrying it about it until Dec. 31st if your heart really isn't in it. There's always the next trip"I think this is VERY good advice too and last year after busting my a** in December, my Jan, Feb and March sucked, so I am working on booking January right now, but if December happens that is great too.

 

[finley1991]

YES! Great advice Becky!!!!!There is always another trip... and one that will excite you more than Toronto!

 

[Chef Kearns]

Deb, since this year with the remodel and your son's health issues has been hard on your marriage I would probably focus this time for family. It would be nice to have that $900 for your remodel, but consider the effort and stress that it would take to reach that $5000 in sales. Not to mention cheerleading your consultants to get their sales AND submit them in time!! In my opinion, I say focus your time on your family. Focus your business time on January and getting a strong start for 2011.

 

[chefkathy]

Thanks everyone....you are reaffirming what I was thinking. My family needs me this month. I heard recently about the "push" month--maybe some of you heard the call with Marna Ross when she talked about it. She had a push year when she worked really hard on PC so that she could quit her FT job. We've all seen where that has taken her.I'm thinking Jan and maybe even Feb will be my push months. My chance to show to DH that this CAN make us meaningful income.Now anyone want to be MY director and coach me and help keep me accountable? LOL

 

[chefkathy]

Deb, since this year with the remodel and your son's health issues has been hard on your marriage I would probably focus this time for family. It would be nice to have that $900 for your remodel, but consider the effort and stress that it would take to reach that $5000 in sales. Not to mention cheerleading your consultants to get their sales AND submit them in time!! In my opinion, I say focus your time on your family. Focus your business time on January and getting a strong start for 2011.

Thanks Sandra. I should clarify a bit....marriage issues are stemming from some communication and mental health issues in DH that he is having a hard time addressing. I very strongly believe that he has adult ADD and he continues to deny it. It's very very very frustrating.www.adhdmarriage.com is a fascinating site and has explained a LOT of the last seven years of my life.OKay, that's more than I planned on sharing, but oh well.....

 

[Sheila]

I think it's definitely something you CAN do if your heart was in it. I was doing REALLY well at the beginning of the year and was looking at earning Hawaii. Then the military move happened and my business took a nose dive. Having 9 consultants qualify helped, because the move sure took a bite out of my sales! I'm a hair over 52,400 right now and will be going to Toronto. I was disappointed at first that it wasn't Hawaii, but hubby is helping to get me more excited about it. I was going to take the gift card, but he's wanting to take the trip, buy in the kids and extend the vacation so we can see more of the area since we are coming from Japan. He doesn't see the point to traveling 1/2 way around the world for a 3 day trip. I can see his point!

I think if you were going to really be excited about going on the trip, that you should work for it. But if you are going to bust your butt and put more strain on your life, then it might not be worth it.

 

[Inomiamenda]

"I KNOW you could totally do it if you kick ass and put your mind to it. But, it's sounding like you're just not up for that. And you know what?? That's totally ok. We know how awesome the trips are and even ones we're not totally psyched about would probably still be great. But, give yourself persmission to not bust your ass and use every waking moment worrying it about it until Dec. 31st if your heart really isn't in it. There's always the next trip"

I think this is VERY good advice too and last year after busting my a** in December, my Jan, Feb and March sucked, so I am working on booking January right now, but if December happens that is great too.

I'm with genius. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and regroup. It's not a matter of *can* you do it, because you clearly can if you want to. It is more a case of *do* you want it, and if so how badly. Sometimes other aspects of life take priority and that's ok.
hugs!!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I'm with genius. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and regroup. It's not a matter of *can* you do it, because you clearly can if you want to. It is more a case of *do* you want it, and if so how badly. Sometimes other aspects of life take priority and that's ok.
hugs!!!

I'm with this line of thinking.

In 2009, my business was poised to really explode. I was all set to earn Disney, and I was excited about everything that was happening. But then, Life happened. I had to take several steps back from my business as took over the role of caretaker and parent for my Mom. Legal, Financial, Physical, and Emotional decisions took over my days and kept me from sleeping at night.

I had promised my son I would be earning Disney, but at the same time, I had nothing left in my to finish that race. I finally just had to admit to myself that it wasn't worth killing myself, and further disrupting my family, to earn a trip. I was exhausted in every way - and needed to focus on my family, and myself. WE as a unit were more important than a trip. I'm pretty sure I could have earned the trip - but at what expense?

Now this year - rested, and ready to go - I started out with a bang in January, and have had my best year ever! The rest and re-grouping were just what I needed, and for the first time I earned the trip...and I did it without ANY Stress about whether or not I was going to make it...and before the busy Holidays are in full swing.

So my advice (FWIW!) is to take the rest, and regroup as needed, and poise yourself to start 2011 strong. Then see how you feel after a couple months of that. Don't decide to quit your business when you are at your lowest emotionally and physically. ((HUGS))

 

[jwpamp]

I am so glad that we can share -- I do feel that stepping back and taking time to focus on what is REALLY important is the best thing to do.

Sometimes the answer can be found easily when looking from a different point of view. It's important to know the difference between giving up and reassessing priorities.

Being a mom, wife, businesswoman, caregiver and peacemaker takes a toll on us all -- we are here for each other and I am so grateful for that!

 

[finley1991]

I am so glad that we can share -- I do feel that stepping back and taking time to focus on what is REALLY important is the best thing to do.

Sometimes the answer can be found easily when looking from a different point of view. It's important to know the difference between giving up and reassessing priorities.

Being a mom, wife, businesswoman, caregiver and peacemaker takes a toll on us all -- we are here for each other and I am so grateful for that!

Janice, you are right on here!

Deb, focus on YOU and YOUR needs. PC will always be here when you need it to be!

Tomorrow is my last show for December. I'm going to take the next few weeks and spend some time on myself. I don't have anything else with PC that is important this month. My plan is to make 3 contacts a day to fill my Jan schedule and that's it. The rest of the time is Colleen time.

January is going to be my PUSH month so I can pack up Feb for the double points and then go from there...

 

[chefkathy]

love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!okay, now i have to stop crying and go make some more coffee.

 

[finley1991]

Oh Deb... if I lived closer I'd pop on over and give you a big HUG! A virtual one will have do for now though. LOVE YA!!!!!!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Janice, you are right on here!

Deb, focus on YOU and YOUR needs. PC will always be here when you need it to be!

Tomorrow is my last show for December. I'm going to take the next few weeks and spend some time on myself. I don't have anything else with PC that is important this month. My plan is to make 3 contacts a day to fill my Jan schedule and that's it. The rest of the time is Colleen time.

January is going to be my PUSH month so I can pack up Feb for the double points and then go from there...

Everyone has really given you some really good advice (and I've taken some of it for myself too ) I've kinda been like you this past year - just trudging through my biz. Was at the point several times where it would have been a piece of cake to walk away from it all. But I couldn't do that.

I've decided that I'm not stressing it for December. Frankly, I don't care if my team makes it or not - I know that sounds bad, but I'm so tired of stressing over them and tracking them down every month (and personally carrying one of them...argh!) I have one live show for December and several catalog shows going on so I'm not too stressed about getting my 2 shows submitted. I'm working with the team members that want my help and not overly concerned with those who don't return my calls or emails. (I learned a good phrase at Director Retreat to tell my consultants "I will match MY time with YOUR efforts"...I love that one

I'm enjoying the holidays and all the fun things my family has planned in the next few weeks. Jacob is 8 and this might be our last "Santa" year and I want us to have a relaxed holiday, not rushing to try to do everything like we did last year.

I'm focusing most of my working time getting my office organized and working on my January calendar. I already have several shows booked and I'm aiming for several more. I've decided to schedule a WOW Month for February and rake in all the double points I can. I am determined that my business is going to multiply next year. I'm focusing on my team and building a team of recruiters so that I don't have to stress each month over qualifying as a team and being paid at my level. I want the fun back in my business.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Everyone has really given you some really good advice (and I've taken some of it for myself too ) I've kinda been like you this past year - just trudging through my biz. Was at the point several times where it would have been a piece of cake to walk away from it all. But I couldn't do that.

I've decided that I'm not stressing it for December. Frankly, I don't care if my team makes it or not - I know that sounds bad, but I'm so tired of stressing over them and tracking them down every month (and personally carrying one of them...argh!) I have one live show for December and several catalog shows going on so I'm not too stressed about getting my 2 shows submitted. I'm working with the team members that want my help and not overly concerned with those who don't return my calls or emails. (I learned a good phrase at Director Retreat to tell my consultants "I will match MY time with YOUR efforts"...I love that one

I'm enjoying the holidays and all the fun things my family has planned in the next few weeks. Jacob is 8 and this might be our last "Santa" year and I want us to have a relaxed holiday, not rushing to try to do everything like we did last year.

I'm focusing most of my working time getting my office organized and working on my January calendar. I already have several shows booked and I'm aiming for several more. I've decided to schedule a WOW Month for February and rake in all the double points I can. I am determined that my business is going to multiply next year. I'm focusing on my team and building a team of recruiters so that I don't have to stress each month over qualifying as a team and being paid at my level. I want the fun back in my business.

Great Post, Miz Linda!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Thanks everyone....you are reaffirming what I was thinking. My family needs me this month.

I heard recently about the "push" month--maybe some of you heard the call with Marna Ross when she talked about it. She had a push year when she worked really hard on PC so that she could quit her FT job. We've all seen where that has taken her.

I'm thinking Jan and maybe even Feb will be my push months. My chance to show to DH that this CAN make us meaningful income.

Now anyone want to be MY director and coach me and help keep me accountable? LOL

I'll be your accountability buddy!

 

[Chef Kearns]

Linda, I could have written your post myself. Thank you for sharing!

 

[jwpamp]

I am laying low in Dec also...I have 2 shows this first week and then it's 'me' time. It will definately be one of those months I may not make the $1250 in sales...but it's ok with me -- I need the rest!

 

[pamperedbecky]

I really love this thread!~ It's so nice to see we're not alone and we don't always have to be "ON" all the time with our businesses. I admit, the trips are the things that always motivate me and get me going. It's become a big part of my "why" because they are just so awesome and I love feeling the accomplishment of it all. BUT there are so many other things to this business and things that I've gotten out of this business that I wouldn't trade either. Yes, I would have loved to earn the trip this year, but I also look back on my year and notice other cool things that I'm proud of. I was at risk of losing Directorship and didn't. My big goal was to not lose it and I didn't. My recruiting was the best it's ever been! I've recruited 7 this year which doesn't sound like much to some of you, but it's the most I've ever done. Maybe even another one or two before the year is over if I'm lucky.

Family-wise, things have REALLY increased with the kids' activities. I didn't get into to PC to be too busy to allow them time to do those sorts of things. They swam a ton this summer, we got a pool pass to our park district pool for the first time and I saw my 6 year old daughter turn into a fish when she used to HATE putting her face in the water. She also started in a dance company in the fall which is a huge TIME committment (not to mention money committment!) and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to juggle everything. My son started back at Taekwondo twice a week after taking the summer off, too. My husband has been traveling for work more than ever before. But, I'm happy to say that I've still been able to work my business, have shows, support new consultants and make it work. Sure, it's not the best and I'm not performing at the levels I USED to perform at, but I'm getting more and more ok with that.

I think we all do need to re-evaluate at times and I think this is a great time to do it with the new year about to start. I love the idea of taking the time to get offices organized, make phone calls, book up Jan and Feb and do all that stuff that's also part of the biz (I think it was Linda who said she's focusing on all of this in Dec???).

(Side note @Linda - yes, the Santa thing may soon be going away in our house, as my almost 9 year old is getting just way too suspicious because he's too smart!! I just don't want him to ruin it for my 6 year old! Kinda sad---you're right, enjoy it while it lasts!).

Thanks everyone. I just LOVE this group of people. We definitely need me time and I'm so happy to see LOTS of you making time for that. It's so important too!!!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

...... I didn't get into to PC to be too busy to allow them time to do those sorts of things.

exactly! That's been part of my problem. I started PC to be able to stay home and not miss anything in my child's life. Now that I'm a director I realize that it is a bigger commitment to PC if I want to keep it (and I do). I just need to find that happy medium. A large part of that is working 'smarter' not 'harder'. I know that I waste a lot of time and I do alot of 'busy' work. I am working on that.

 

[baychef]

exactly! That's been part of my problem. I started PC to be able to stay home and not miss anything in my child's life. Now that I'm a director I realize that it is a bigger commitment to PC if I want to keep it (and I do). I just need to find that happy medium. A large part of that is working 'smarter' not 'harder'. I know that I waste a lot of time and I do alot of 'busy' work. I am working on that.

Great point, Linda. As you probably know, you are normal!! That is what is so great about this loop. We can help and encourage each other along the way.

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

I'm loving this thread. I can so relate, but I won't get into it at the risk of hijacking the thread. Just suffice it to say I haven't done a Cooking Show in 2010. I miss it so much. But, as some of you know, life has kinda fallen apart around me since I returned to the States in late 2008. Some days I wonder why I'm still trying to hold on, but some days I have no doubt. I know for me, being a single mom, in school, and trying to run my own business while trying to deal with what life has thrown at me these last 2 years, I can't seem to get a firm handle on ANYTHING. My Directorship is long gone though I do still have enough remnants of a team to easily rebuild. But I have no focus or motivation. I SOOOO just wish I had some day to day support. Sometimes the hardest part for me is being single and being solely responsible for EVERYTHING and every decision. You can only truly relate if you've been a single parent. But many of you have given some wonderful advice and I'm going to seriously ponder whether I can try to get back on track at the beginning of the new year, or if it's time to hang up my apron as I hit 5 years.

 

[baychef]

Deb, I had not read the beginning of this thread. First...BIG HUGS! I can say I have been in your shoes with not the exact situations but feeling the same way. And I have had feelings that others have described as well. One thing that helped me was something simple...and I am not saying it will work for everyone. We all have to find out what works for each of us.

I realized that every December, I was very miserable. Pounding myself into the ground with parties on everyday off, sometimes doubles in one day. When my work is tougher and demanding...PC is as well. When I have down time is when no one wants to do parties.

For me I realized I was working myself up and it didn't help me in any situation. "Loosening up" some of my standards and not coming down on myself for every thing that didn't get done in my business or coming down on myself if the Christmas decorations didn't get put up on time...or at all! One year I did nothing with decorations.

This year between work and PC in October and November, I proably had 5 or less days where I did not have to do one or the other. Thinking one day at a time helps me A LOT! Knowing that I did everything humanly possible in each day was all I could expect from myself...asking more was making me miserable.

I wanted Hawaii in the WORST way. Toronto does nothing for me either. But I did not make it to Hawaii. I have the recruits but won't have the points or sales. (will be about 13,000 off) I tried hard all year long. Not perfectly but the best I could. After accepting I would not get Hawaii...I was thinking of all of the ways to spend that $900 gift card!! I could spend it 20 times over!!

So look at yourself and see a strong, caring woman. PC will come...this just was a year that you had to do what needed to be done. It's almost like we take a stick and beat what little is left of us into the ground!! Hang in there and you will grow back as life starts handing you better circumstances.:candyheart:

 

[Sheila]

Re: Santa - my oldest sister handled that one great! She did the research, then when her oldest asked, she was honest and explained that Christopher was in fact a real person who did amazing thing for people in his community. She explained how the concept grew and grew and continued even after the original person was gone. That even though there is no longer a single "Santa" alive who goes around to various houses and drops off gifts, that the idea of Santa is very much alive. She then offered to let him participate in the giving side of the fun!!! He got gifts too, because it would be weird fo little brother if he was the only one getting gifts ... But the oldest got to help pick his younger brother's gifts, keep the secret and put the gifts under the tree on Christmas Eve. Knowing that after he went to bed, Mom & Dad would put out gifts for him. He LOVED being able to participate and didn't spoil the fun for his little brother.

 

[baychef]

and the new information tonight, I hope is the first of many good circumstances to come your way!!!:chef:

 

[pamperedbecky]

Re: Santa - my oldest sister handled that one great! She did the research, then when her oldest asked, she was honest and explained that Christopher was in fact a real person who did amazing thing for people in his community. She explained how the concept grew and grew and continued even after the original person was gone. That even though there is no longer a single "Santa" alive who goes around to various houses and drops off gifts, that the idea of Santa is very much alive. She then offered to let him participate in the giving side of the fun!!! He got gifts too, because it would be weird fo little brother if he was the only one getting gifts ... But the oldest got to help pick his younger brother's gifts, keep the secret and put the gifts under the tree on Christmas Eve. Knowing that after he went to bed, Mom & Dad would put out gifts for him. He LOVED being able to participate and didn't spoil the fun for his little brother.

Oooh that's great. Especially because RIGHT before I got on this conf call, my son happened to google stuff about Santa because he has an iTouch. DANG, there it goes...... He found stuff about helping your kids still believe in Santa. CRAP. I knew it would happen quite soon. Luckily right now I have the excuse of being on this conf call that I don't have to address it with him right now.

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

Oooh that's great. Especially because RIGHT before I got on this conf call, my son happened to google stuff about Santa because he has an iTouch. DANG, there it goes...... He found stuff about helping your kids still believe in Santa. CRAP. I knew it would happen quite soon. Luckily right now I have the excuse of being on this conf call that I don't have to address it with him right now.

I did almost the exact same thing as Sheila described. Found an article in the paper and saved it for when the time came. It was about how Santa WAS real and was know as St Nickolas, etc etc..... It was awesome!

 

[pamperedbecky]

I did almost the exact same thing as Sheila described. Found an article in the paper and saved it for when the time came. It was about how Santa WAS real and was know as St Nickolas, etc etc..... It was awesome!

Oooh, I need to find an article like that. I'm torn. He's going to be 9 in two weeks and is too smart for his own good sometime. This is one of those times. So, I don't know if I should go with, "Well, you know what happens to kids who don't believe?? If you don't believe, you don't receive?" But that's like avoiding the issue all together and I dont' want him to start asking other kids and ruining it or finding it out from them. Hmmmm. Not sure what to do. How old was your son, Debi, when this happened?

Luckily this is the "worst" information he's found on the internet. I am thankful he's a good kid and doesn't go searching for "bad" things.

 

[finley1991]

His job now that he "knows" is to make sure his sister still "believes"! Let him be in on the truth so he feels grown up but he can't let the cat out of the bag...(this coming from someone with no kids... so I might be WAY wrong on it! Just a thought I had!!!)

 

[BethCooks4U]

His job now that he "knows" is to make sure his sister still "believes"! Let him be in on the truth so he feels grown up but he can't let the cat out of the bag...

(this coming from someone with no kids... so I might be WAY wrong on it! Just a thought I had!!!)

That's exactly how we approached it when my son learned. I told him he was in on a secret that only grown ups knew. We also talked about believing and what it stood for. He had fun keeping the "secret". Then a few years later Santa came to our house and raised doubts in all of their heads. He had to be real but... Such fun.

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

Oooh, I need to find an article like that. I'm torn. He's going to be 9 in two weeks and is too smart for his own good sometime. This is one of those times. So, I don't know if I should go with, "Well, you know what happens to kids who don't believe?? If you don't believe, you don't receive?" But that's like avoiding the issue all together and I dont' want him to start asking other kids and ruining it or finding it out from them. Hmmmm. Not sure what to do. How old was your son, Debi, when this happened?

Luckily this is the "worst" information he's found on the internet. I am thankful he's a good kid and doesn't go searching for "bad" things.

I think he was only about 7 or 8. And I NEVER lied to him about it. I don't personally agree with that approach.

 

[BethCooks4U]

I still believe. It's all about the game. When we're too old to play the game it's ...well it's just sad.

I also don't believe in lying but we can share the excitement and fun WE have with it and make it that for them. At that age they still WANT to believe but they're too big so making it a game and giving them a wink and a nod makes it fun for everyone. I wouldn't want them to be disappointed or ruin it for younger kids either so this gives them a way to still enjoy while "growing up".

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

Becky, check this out: http://www.ehow.com/how_4615192_santa-claus-christian-way-children.html

 

[baychef]

We were going through the divorce when my son was between 8 and 9. He told us the spring after he discovered hidden gifts with santa on the tag. He didn't tell us at the time that "the jig was up". He's grown into a fine young man who still enjoys Christmas. We all love getting together with family at all holidays including Christmas.

 

[pamperedbecky]

Thanks so much, everyone. Sorry to hijack!!:blushing::blushing::blushing: