Etiquette for First Communion Gifts in a Catholic Family

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Discussion Overview

This thread explores the etiquette surrounding gift-giving for a first communion in a Catholic family, particularly from the perspective of a participant who is not Catholic. Participants share their thoughts on whether a gift is necessary, appropriate gift ideas, and personal experiences related to first communion gifts.

Discussion Character

  • Opinion-based
  • Anecdotal
  • Debate/contested

Main Points Raised

  • One participant, identifying as a non-Catholic, questions the necessity of giving a gift for the first communion and considers purchasing from a birthday wish list.
  • Another participant suggests that a nice card is acceptable and that gifts are not required, but mentions that items from a Christian store could be more appropriate than toys.
  • Several users mention that religious items or cash are common gifts for first communions, with one participant noting that $10 is a typical cash gift.
  • One participant shares a personal experience of receiving a Bible as a meaningful gift during their first communion, emphasizing the importance of choosing the correct version.
  • Another participant mentions the Catholic Youth Bible as a suitable gift, highlighting its explanatory sections for better understanding.
  • Some participants express concerns about the expectations of gift value, with one noting that a $5-10 gift may not be sufficient for the family in question.
  • One participant shares frustrations about perceived materialism within the family, reflecting on their own financial situation compared to the family's wealth.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Views differ on the necessity and appropriateness of gifts for a first communion, with some participants advocating for religious items or cash while others feel that a card may suffice. There is no clear consensus on the expected value of gifts.

Contextual Notes

The discussion reflects personal experiences and cultural differences regarding gift-giving in religious contexts, particularly within Catholic traditions.

Who May Find This Useful

Participants in the consultant community who are navigating similar family dynamics or cultural expectations around gift-giving may find these shared experiences relevant.

wadesgirl
wadesgirl
Gold Member
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DH's family is catholic (I am not). His nephew has his first communion this weekend. Are we required to give a gift? I figured we would but I didn't want to show up with one if no one else was going to. Also he had a wish list for his birthday last month at Toys-R-Us, I figured we would just get him something that was still on the list. Is this appropriate?
 
I think a nice card would be OK. A gift is not required. If you have a christian store around, they have quite a few things that would make a nice gift. I don't think something from Toys-R-Us is appropriate. I think it is very sweet that you would check.Sandi
 
I'd find out from his mom if he has a cross in his room or if there's something else he'd like to signify the occasion (rosary, etc). Most people either give a religious item or cash/savings bond for these occasions. Personally I don't feel that toys are the appropriate gift for this.

ETA: cash gifts vary but even $10 would be enough.
 
When I had my first communion, I got a ton of cards with $5 to $10 in them. However, that said, the best gift I got was a bible. It was "The Way". It is not a King James version so it made sense to me. There is a catch though - you have to make sure you get the correct version! There is a Catholic version and a non-catholic version. The Catholic version does NOT contain the book of Revelations. It has a green cover where as the other one is blue. In fact, I still have it. It is only about 40 years old!
 
pampered1224 said:
When I had my first communion, I got a ton of cards with $5 to $10 in them. However, that said, the best gift I got was a bible. It was "The Way". It is not a King James version so it made sense to me. There is a catch though - you have to make sure you get the correct version! There is a Catholic version and a non-catholic version. The Catholic version does NOT contain the book of Revelations. It has a green cover where as the other one is blue. In fact, I still have it. It is only about 40 years old!
Click to expand...

The Catholic version also contains some books that the Protestant versions don't. A difference in canonization. (meaning what the Church Fathers believed to be the written Word of God)
 
I would go with the card with cash in it..or go to a Christian bookstore and see if you can find something
 
There is a Bible called the Catholic Youth Bible. It might be a little old for him right now, but I bet not for long. The Bible is not easy to understand and this one has a section at the bottom of each page that explains the meaning. I think the paperback one costs about $20. This is something he would always have.Sandi
 
  • Thread starter
  • #8
See the more I got to thinking about it, the more I wasn't for sure so that's why I asked here. Here's the thing, this kid is spoiled rotten! A mere $5-10 gift would not suffice with them (kids or parents - trust me). I do like the idea of a bible or something... maybe I'll call my sil and see what she thinks.
 
wadesgirl said:
See the more I got to thinking about it, the more I wasn't for sure so that's why I asked here. Here's the thing, this kid is spoiled rotten! A mere $5-10 gift would not suffice with them (kids or parents - trust me). I do like the idea of a bible or something... maybe I'll call my sil and see what she thinks.
Click to expand...
That's sad. Why can't people be grateful for the thought anymore?
 
  • Thread starter
  • #10
ChefBeckyD said:
That's sad. Why can't people be grateful for the thought anymore?
Click to expand...

Trust me... DH and I live in a trailer we paid cash for and basically live pay check to pay check. His brother and his wife live in a gorgeous house in a very upscale neighborhood in our town. It's not good enough for her though, she's constantly looking for something better (what your basement isn't a walkout... we don't even have one!). Since they couldn't find someone to buy their house recently they have upgraded the kitchen and basement to the tune of over $50,000! The only reason why she bought her SUV was a few years ago she felt bad picking up her kids from daycare in a car (yah she really said that). So yes, for this family, it is all about the money and the presents.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #11
Excuse my mini rant there!

Well I talked to DH and he still believes we should "get the kid something he wants". Lucky for me I have a show that day (don't expect to tell me two weeks before that your kid's first communion is coming up and not have a show on a Saturday afternoon). I know it sounds bad but sometimes their constant throwing their wealth in our face is annoying! I'll show up just in time for the after party to die down and rescue DH!
 

Frequently Asked Questions

What is an appropriate gift for a child's First Communion?

An appropriate gift for a child's First Communion often includes religious items such as a rosary, a prayer book, or a personalized Bible. Other thoughtful gifts can include keepsake items like a cross necklace or a framed picture of the child on their special day.

Is it customary to give cash for a First Communion gift?

Should I attend the First Communion ceremony if I am invited?

Yes, it is considered polite to attend the First Communion ceremony if you are invited, especially if you are a close family member or friend. Your presence shows support for the child and their family during this significant religious milestone.

What should I write in a card accompanying the gift?

In the card, you can express your congratulations and best wishes for the child's spiritual journey. A simple message such as, "Congratulations on your First Communion! May this special day bring you closer to God," is heartfelt and appropriate.

Are there any gifts to avoid for a First Communion?

It is best to avoid gifts that are not related to the occasion, such as overly extravagant items or gifts that may not align with the family's religious beliefs. Additionally, avoid gifts that may be seen as inappropriate or disrespectful, such as items that promote secular themes.

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