Dealing with Difficult Hosts: How to Handle Rude Behavior

[cookingwithlove]

I rather just cancel the show than to deal with a rude host. I got into this group of hosts that are more rude than the last. They are either good friends of each other or related. The last two were the worst. While I was host coaching Kelly I asked how the RSVPs were coming, she told me not so good only 3 confirmed people. I encouraged her to call people that she did not hear from saying that people are routinely bad a RSVPs. She proceeds to tell me that she can't do that because she doesn't have enough cell minutes. (Mind you, her email is down, so not only did I send out the regular invites I also sent out the evites). She gets all bent out of shape that I asked her to call people. Well we had a "pleasant" conversation (lots of smiling into the mirror!) about wanting her to have a great show, I can only do so much and I rely on my hosts to help me. Not my exact words.

She has her show about 6 people. One of them is an upcoming host, Peggy. I left several VM for Peggy to go over her host packet that I mailed, but she never called me back. When I saw her at Kelly's show, I said let's go through your host kit, I have one right here. She said, oh no, Linda (a previous) host said she will tell me everything since she just hosted a show. I politely insisted saying it will only take a few minutes. At that time I showed her the letter stating that this is my business and the guest list, explain the date that I need it back. The date is written on hers and highlighted.

Well her show is coming up in 2 weeks, so last week I called her reminding her that I will need her guest list by Friday. I actually talked to her instead of VM. She starts telling me how busy she has been and why she has not gotten to it yet. I remain calm and encourage her to work on it and get it out to me on Saturday. Monday mail nothing. This morning (Tuesday) I left a message on her VM saying I am excited about our show, I still have not received her list and hopefully it is in the mail...

I also sent her an email saying the same thing. She emails me back saying she will have it in the mail today, she has told everyone she wants to come she has about 4 people coming and (get this) she doesn't like to be BUGGED she has had things going on (quote).

This group is so hard to work with. I have done all of the tricks, post cards, emails, calls, but they just do not want to work with me. They don't have great show, average is about $250-$300. Her show is for a Saturday afternoon. Saturdays are precious in our family. I never cancel shows, but I just hate the attitude of this host.

What would you guys do?

 

[susanr613]

Make this the last show you do for this group.

 

[cookingwithlove]

Thanks! I will definitely be ridding myself. Did I mention that when I showed up at Linda's party she would not stop play Wii to show me where to set up. She also told me she had a full size microwave and it was only a small dorm-size. I was planning to do the quick chili!

 

[DebbieJ]

Do not give this group another Saturday again. You control your calendar.

 

[CookingwithMary]

Make this the last show you do for this group.

Ditto...had to do that myself some time ago. My friend calls it "Opting Out"

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I had that happen for my first 6 shows- I was miserable... At the last show I actually got 4 bookings, and after I did one of them (a catalog show for a germaphobe that told me that I could douse myself in Lysol and I still wouldn't look clean enough to her) I politely told the other 3 that a gal from my downline would do their shows if they were still interested.

I had such terrible experiences I almost quit because of those hosts! It was bad!

I'll spare you my pain, but I agree with Susan, forget about these rude ladies!

 

[beepampered]

I would book a "conditional" show. Meaning, if someone in this crowd wanted to do a show, especially on a Saturday, I would set new expectations. "I would love to do a show for you and your friends. You can really earn over $100 worth of products if you'll work at it. My weekends have gotten a bit hectic so I can only commit to your show if xxx and xxx."

I would say something like xxx people were invited by xx date and/or xx had RSVPed for the show and/or $xxx of outside orders were in hand when you arrived.

 

[JAE]

I would book a "conditional" show. Meaning, if someone in this crowd wanted to do a show, especially on a Saturday, I would set new expectations. "I would love to do a show for you and your friends. You can really earn over $100 worth of products if you'll work at it. My weekends have gotten a bit hectic so I can only commit to your show if xxx and xxx."

I would say something like xxx people were invited by xx date and/or xx had RSVPed for the show and/or $xxx of outside orders were in hand when you arrived.

Have you done this? How'd that work?

 

[lockhartkitchen]

We are in control of our business. Ditto with what others have said. When I hit a road block (group that continued having barely $150 shows), I didn't ask for the bookings. The group ended, and I went on my way. That's the nice thing about our business. You can decide who you work with. I've had to tell others I wouldn't be working with them anymore. I have to keep me happy, too!

 

[kspry]

when I showed up at Linda's party she would not stop play Wii

OK, this made me laugh...I would have sat down with her, since I'm very curious about Wii. Um, I go with the flow.


How old was she? Just curious. And what Wii game?

 

[kspry]

I politely told the other 3 that a gal from my downline would do their shows if they were still interested.


Glad I'm not in your downline, Kacey! Way to go!

(edit - since they almost made you quit, why inflict them?)

 

[vwpamperedchef]

Kay in reply to your post there is such thing as manners. The host should have coordinated a spot for Wendy to set up, whether that meant delaying a game.

As a consultant in someone else's home, you have to be professional. Going to sit and pay Wii with some 40-50 somethings is not the sort of thing that we are there to do.

I think it would be immature if you jumped right in and started playing. And who cares what game it was.

It is apparent Wendy, that this group does not have class, manners or respect for your job. While I agree its been a bumpy ride, definiately make this show your last with this group!

Good Luck, I'll send some prayers your way for a better show!!

 

[PampChefJoy]

I don't have patience for that kind of thing anymore... I would email her back in response to her email about being bugged: "It sounds like you have alot going on... would you prefer to reschedule your show to another time when you have the opportunity to invite more people? In order for your show to qualify for host benefits, those 4 people would have to order at least $150 in products, and that is if they all show up, which doesn't always happen -- Life gets in the way, as you well know...."

and I bet she cancels it and conveniently decides to "get back to you with a date" for rescheduling....

And if you really don't want to do it, you've got your weekend back and you don't look like you are ditching her....

 

[chefann]

And stick to your guns when you tell them that you need their guest list by a certain date. If they miss it, call them and tell them that you're opening up the date for someone else.

 

[cookingwithlove]

Thanks for the great encouragement. I usually have really good attendence at my shows and usually have communicative host. I have done show with a low number of guest, and they can be really fun. It is this host that bugs me; she just refuses to talk to me. I just find this really strange. I did get her guest list yesterday and it had 4 people on it. It is the first time since starting to send out invitations that I have less than 10 people on the guest list. She said that she is handing out invitations. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt; you never know where your next great show will come from, but I just don't think this is it.

I really want to cancel the show, but my husband says I am stuck. He is in outside sales (medical stuff) and says I made a commitment to her and I have to honor it. Joy, I like the way you worded your email and I will try something like that.

Thanks again!

 

[cookingwithlove]

Okay what do you think about this.....

Hi Pat,

I received your guest list yesterday. Thank you.

From your previous email, it sounds like you have alot going on... would you prefer to reschedule your show to another time when you have the opportunity to invite more people? The choice is yours. I have that Saturday reserved for you. I have done all sorts of shows from 3 people to 33 people. I like small shows because they can be really fun and intimate, but they do not always provide the host with a lot of benefits. In order for your show to qualify for host benefits, those 4 people would have to order at least $150 in products, and then you will only recieve $15 in free products. My host routinely get at least $90 in free products.

Please let me know how you would like to proceed.
I hope this finds you well,

 

[DebbieJ]

That's great.

 

[Luv2bake]

I don't think I would do it at all. I've had my share of rude hosts even in the measley 20 shows I've done, and it just is not worth the abuse. I'd rather use the time networking and booking decent shows.

 

[vwpamperedchef]

Love the email/letter you wrote! Leaves the ball in her court. And shows that you are giving her an option....Let us know how it turns out!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I politely told the other 3 that a gal from my downline would do their shows if they were still interested.


Glad I'm not in your downline, Kacey! Way to go!

(edit - since they almost made you quit, why inflict them?)

My downline was desparate for shows- so at the time it was in a way helping her out. She said they weren't that bad to her but it was probably because they didn't know her and wanted to be on their best behavior. LOL

 

[LCOLACHICO]

your letter sounds very professional and straight forward. With that being said it also shows the sincerity and kindness of your heart. Hopefully she will learn from the example that you have shown.
I know that it can be hard to do at times, but I try to live by
Love your neighbor as your self.. its a reminder that God commands us to Love..

He will bless your business beyond measure because of your faithfulness to Him.
The best thing you can do for her is to pray...
Good luck and don't allow her to get to you..