Is Whining a Sign of Deeper Issues in a Spouse's Health and Financial Crisis?

[pampered1224]

Hi everyone!

It's been quite some time since I was out here and sorry I did not return the phone call pamperedlinda. Things are still crazy if not worse. Ever since pAt has been home, he has been whining about EVERYTHING! The worst part is that he is still NOT doing well. He has two dr appointments tomorrow. So we'll see what is what. The thing I guess i Hate the worstis that I am running around trying ot keep up with laundry, dishes, cleaning, fetching, sitting and not barking and all I get is slappe dint he face if I forget to do something for him. For example, he still has trouble getting out of bed. So he is using something called a little "jonny". I forgot to put it in his room SUnday night so he statrs calling me at 1:47 a.m. Funny thing, I forgot to grab my cell phone that night. So at 2:20 he finnaly starts screaming at me. I woke up got the dang thing, got him set, got back to bed and thought to myself, that putz! In the time it took him to get my attention he could have gotten fat arse out of bed and gone to the bathroom! He can usually get out of the bed himself. I would lay odds he never even thought of that. That's how screwed up he is. Then, now this is really bad. I ordered him a Posture-pedic bed on 9/10. I ordered a pillow top. On 9/17 they delivered at 7:45 as I was trying ot leave for work. It sat until I got home. When I got home, I opened it up, put it on the bed and made the bed. I never really looked a tit because it was so late. Now, he trouble with it the first and second nights. I went out and bought really soft mattress pad and an under pad of Memry foam. He slept for abotu 12 hours from Friday night until Saturday morning. Then, on Saturday I found it was the wrond mattess. It was a firm not the pillow top I had ordered. I wish I had never said anything to him. All the sudden, now mind that is after sleeping comfortabliby for 12 hours the night before, he could not sleep on it the last two nights. It was too hard. Thing he needs a shrink or is it I who does? We still have no idea what is going to happen financially. I stole everything I could in cash advances from credit cards and it looks like we'll be OK until the end of the year. If he isn't back on full time by then, then we will definately need to concider selling the house and having him file bankruptcy. So there we have it. Oops gotta go - boss is coming!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Hug to you John!

It might be time for some 'tough-love' for Pat though....stay strong!

 

[vwpamperedchef]

Hugs John----thinking of you and lifting you up in prayer.

 

[chefann]

I was thinking of you today, John, and hoping that things were getting better. Darn. I pray that Pat will get better and that you will find what you need to get you through this.

 

[pampered1224]

Thanks ladies! Well, we went to both of his doctors today. One was very disappointed in that he was supposed to see her two and a half weeks ago. I told her what was happening or ratther what was not happening and she asked him to do some stuff with his legs and no problem! Amazing how it worked there but does not seem to at home! She put him back on the Cymbalta! Thank GOD!!!
Cymbalta - I did not know this - is a combo drug with a mild pain reliever and an anti-depressant in it. TOO COOL! I told him several weeks ago about refilling those scripts but he said that there would have been refills if she wanted him on more. I told him then that they are refillable but he must see her. He did not believe me until she told him I was right. Then he felt like an even bigger idiot! I had also told him that the appointment was to see where he was and to either step up the at home therapy or make it outpatient at the hospital. He said no, it is just so she can send him back to work. She corrected him again and I was right again. She told him that she can not send him back to work without knowing where he stands. Anyway, he was very quiet in the car when he realized I had been telling him the truth all along. I looked him straight in the eye and asked him, what reason would I have to lie about any of this? He said "So I would go back to work right away". I told he was so not right. I told him and more than once I might add, that I had no control over that. He and his doctors did. I think this time he believed me. It is the truth after all. It is not like I can sign his release and he knows it! What a dope. He wasted two extra weeks feeling sorry for himself instead of working on getting better. And his doctor was the one who said that - not ME! YEAH!!! So I think things are about to change. He is still going to loose his job in Medical Imaging but hey, he did it to himself again. the only thing we do know is that as long as he is in treatment, he has disability - $600 less per month of his full time pay, that all we can do is loose stuff and that he will be placed in a job at the hospital in a full time capacity at the same pay. They do not have a choice about that as long as he keeps in contact with Aurora. So, WHO CARES about his job except him and now he is upset about that. I told him I was sorry but I tried to tell you. He said I know, I know. So... Now he has about 4 more weeks of at home then outpatient therapy and then it will be time to go back to work. Oh, I was wrong about two things. One is that there is a real problem with his right leg. It is called Diabetic Neropothy and it can be very painful but it usually causes the leg to sort of freeze in place when in a prone position to long and the other is that I was to blame for any of this. I finally got to let myself off the hook today. Both of his doctors told me I was supposed to push and told him that too. Dr. Eskinder, the specialist in Physical Therapy told him, that she told me to make sure to get him moving. And to do it how ever. She told him it was wrong of him to fight me. So I was vindicated. And I had her permission to say so. I just hope I don;t keep hearing "JOOHHHNNNN!" I might have to hurt him then!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Oh John, I'm so happy to hear this!

Hugs and Smootches boyfriend!

 

[chefann]

I'm so glad that your stance was validated by the doctors! Sometimes people will believe a stranger before they believe a loved one (just ask me about the idiot things my MIL does ). Anyhoo, sounds like things are at least getting on the right track. Hope they're up to speed soon.