Dealing with a Heckler Hubby at Parties: Tips and Strategies for Consultants

[chefmelody]

Let me give a little history here. I've done several shows for a group of friends, and most of the time it ends up being a "couples" show, because the women and hubbies are all good friends. My show Sunday was actually hosted by a couple, which was great... they're actually thinking of signing up to be consultants together. All well and good.

The problem is, ONE of the hubbies that comes is a heckler. It's a fairly small group, only three men, and the other two guys always have good questions and are actually interested in the products. The other guy delights in asking me questions that he thinks are "funny," and trying to get me with questions he thinks I won't know about the products, trying to make me look stupid or fluster me. Most of the time I can dish it back to him, and/or just brush him off, and when it's the small group (who I'm pretty close with), it's not too bad... but last time, I really wanted to tell him to just SHUT UP ALREADY.

Anyway. Two of the girls at the show Sunday booked a show to co-host... one being a single girl, and the other is married to one of the nice hubbies. They want to have a fairly large party and invite all their single friends as well as their moms' friends, so it's NOT going to be a couples' party. But I just know the heckler's wife is going to bring him, and her son, who is always a distraction.

So how do I tell her nicely that I'd rather she leave those two at home? Some of the other hubbies might show up as well, I'm sure, but I don't mind them. I just don't want this guy trying to make me look like a fool in front of people who are not my close friends.

 

[barberlady]

that's a tough one.. is she a good enough friend to talk to her?? i have one of those in this group that i do parties for and i am not looking forward to seeing him next saturday

 

[cmdtrgd]

Tell her that if he comes he has to make the recipe as soon as he starts heckling you! Then you get to heckle him:angel:

 

[chefheidi2003]

Tell her that if he comes he has to make the recipe as soon as he starts heckling you! Then you get to heckle him:angel:

Actually that is a really good idea...however keep in mind that if you do say that then you need to stick to it. If you say it and then when he starts you just let it go then it will continue to happen.

 

[chefmelody]

Actually that is a really good idea...however keep in mind that if you do say that then you need to stick to it. If you say it and then when he starts you just let it go then it will continue to happen.

Heh, that is good. Though I know him. He'd refuse to come up, and then just keep heckling. *sigh*

Maybe if I asked him nicely before the show not to do it... or if I asked the wife to talk to him beforehand... she's a pretty good friend.

 

[jenniferknapp]

I would flood the invitation with "girls night out"....with a "leave your husbands and children at home and come out for a relaxing girls night out!"

 

[chefann]

That's what I was going to suggest, Jennifer. Do over-the-top pink ruffly invites and "Girls' Night" on everything. You could even include a line that any males that come will be subject to wearing a dress and having their nails done.

 

[bethsbiz]

This is a real bummer situation.

My very first show almost five years ago a gal attended -- who I was actually somewhat friends with -- and heckled me throughout the show. Later she told me that it was to make sure I was ready to do my job. She actually thought she was helping me! (Reminds me of my MIL but that's another story.) When this guest did it at the next show she attended I did tell her after the show that it was distracting and if she had questions she should ask me privately. She took it as an insult and never has attended another show of mine again. I'm totally fine with that. The most she had ever ordered at any show was an apple wedger.

I rarely have an actual "heckler" but if I do, I try to find some way to add humor to it and also to try to avoid the person. So...if a heckler says something, I might just ignore what was said and ask a supportive person a direct question to move the circumstances away from the heckler. Doesn't always work, but folks in the crowd can see the problem and may try to help diffuse the situation (like with a complainer).

I don't think your situation is easy though since it is recurring and in a solid group. Good luck!!!!!

 

[Carissidy]

Tell her that if he comes he has to make the recipe as soon as he starts heckling you! Then you get to heckle him:angel:

LOL thats cute! I think it's definitely a defficult situation but if you notice him being that way maybe others do too. So maye by mentioning it, she too may have noticed and welcome a night out without them. It's tough, I know, because they are your friends but you don't want it to hurt your business! Good Luck!

 

[DebbieSAChef]

Lol

That's what I was going to suggest, Jennifer. Do over-the-top pink ruffly invites and "Girls' Night" on everything. You could even include a line that any males that come will be subject to wearing a dress and having their nails done.

I love that threat Ann!! LOL

I think if you are good enough friends, you could probably talk to his wife before the show and try to get him to stay home. Tell her he makes you uncomfortable and it's a distraction to you and to the other guests. Just let her know that it's hard to work when someone is trying to heckle you. Let her know if his questions were genuine that would be different.

If he continues to come and not settle down, all I can say is make it a funny thing among everyone and single him out! When he starts up his questions and silly remarks, ring a bell and say

"Ok everyone XXXX is trying to throw a wrench in my show AGAIN, let's:

have a door prize drawing
talk about recruiting so we can discuss the benefits and dangers of my shows (lol)
discuss a good way to handle hecklers at a show
do a little dance (play some music)

Just some ideas!! I would totally make him pay for his annoying behavior by making a spectacle of him each time. Everyone will probably tell him to shut up or just laugh at him. Maybe he'll stop!

Debbie

 

[chefheidi2003]

If he continues to come and not settle down, all I can say is make it a funny thing among everyone and single him out! When he starts up his questions and silly remarks, ring a bell and say

"Ok everyone XXXX is trying to throw a wrench in my show AGAIN, let's:

have a door prize drawing
talk about recruiting so we can discuss the benefits and dangers of my shows (lol)
discuss a good way to handle hecklers at a show
do a little dance (play some music)

Just some ideas!! I would totally make him pay for his annoying behavior by making a spectacle of him each time. Everyone will probably tell him to shut up or just laugh at him. Maybe he'll stop!

Debbie

That is a really good idea Debbie.

 

[chefann]

Those are good ideas, too, Debbie! I'll have to keep those in mind for the next time I have a heckler.

 

[susan g]

I am horrible at keeping large shows under control and not very outspoken but I have had great success with assigning a "kitchen cop" with a watergun to shoot talkers, hecklers, etc. I worried people would be annoyed at first but everyone thought it was funny and it worked well. Best of all, I wasn't the one who had to take action. I got that idea from here so I'm sure you could do a search and find out more.

Also, I've heard it works well to put your unruly guests in charge of something (peeling, chopping, finding what page things are on in the catalog) to distract them from ruining your show!

Good luck! Maybe he'll be sick that day

 

[Marg]

This is from Julie Weitze's Designing an Amazing Party experience.
Give someone a pompom and designate them a cheerleader. Tell them to wave the pompom and shout "woohoo" everytime he/she hears something great.
Also designate a "party cop" and give them a fully-loaded water pistol and tell them that every time someone says something negative, give 'em a squirt. And when I do this I say "and I'm going to give you the same instructions they give SWAT - go for the head shot!"
Maybe after getting sprayed a few times, he'll shut up!

 

[Marg]

Too funny, Susan - we were posting at the same time!

 

[beepampered]

Is there some sort of job you can give him so he feels needed? He's probably just bored - not interested in cooking and seen it all before. If he has something new and different then perhaps he'll focus on that. Maybe finding the page numbers of products (give him a hershey's kiss everytime he does), dicing and slicing, or getting drinks.

Make him feel important by buttering him up and tell him that you get flustered when he gets into heckler mode. Maybe he'll have symphathy on you. Good luck. Generally, I try to ignore the people who act like they are bored/disinterested or not going to buy. I'm not quick enough on my feet to come up with clever lines whenever someone says something.

 

[chefmelody]

Thanks for all the good tips, y'all. I'm going to see what I can work out with him and his wife too. Maybe he'll be quiet if I threaten to make him come up and help. Heh, some of his questions aren't too bad, such as "Are Roma tomatoes from Rome?", which I can just roll my eyes and laugh at. But some others are actually harmful to my demo, such as when he says that the finger guard is for wimps, and that the Mix 'n Chop is "stupid".

 

[jlevernier]

If you're good friends with the group, what does his wife do when he heckles? Does she think it's funny or annoying? The answer might depend on whether you talk to her or not.

My other thought was the "helpful" husbands. Do you know any of them well enough to talk to them? Maybe they could sit by him and shove a piece of taffy in his mouth (she says gently!) when he heckles. Give him something to chew on for a few minutes. Maybe they could temper his heckling.

--Jenny L

 

[MomToEli]

Thanks for all the good tips, y'all. I'm going to see what I can work out with him and his wife too. Maybe he'll be quiet if I threaten to make him come up and help.

Heh, some of his questions aren't too bad, such as "Are Roma tomatoes from Rome?", which I can just roll my eyes and laugh at. But some others are actually harmful to my demo, such as when he says that the finger guard is for wimps, and that the Mix 'n Chop is "stupid".

Challenge him to a competition. Have one person use your products and he gets to use the traditional method. It'd be great if you could brown hamburger or, better yet, pork sausage. Done with the right voice, he will look like a dope for not taking you on without you looking like you set him up. Let him see first hand how much better it is to use a quality tool. Bet his garage is filled with Craftman, rather than brand-x.

Frankly, I agree with him on the finger guard, but then there are people out there who ARE wimps and we have to cater to them, too!

 

[chefmelody]

If you're good friends with the group, what does his wife do when he heckles? Does she think it's funny or annoying? The answer might depend on whether you talk to her or not.

My other thought was the "helpful" husbands. Do you know any of them well enough to talk to them? Maybe they could sit by him and shove a piece of taffy in his mouth (she says gently!) when he heckles. Give him something to chew on for a few minutes. Maybe they could temper his heckling.

Most of the time the wife just laughs or tells him teasingly to "hush." The other guys seem to just roll their eyes at him or laugh... they don't take him seriously. This is why I said it's fine when it's just them in the group... but I'm worried about the larger group that we'll (hopefully) have at the co-hosted show.

 

[reba515]

[QUOTE=chefmelody]Thanks for all the good tips, y'all. I'm going to see what I can work out with him and his wife too. Maybe he'll be quiet if I threaten to make him come up and help.
Heh, some of his questions aren't too bad, such as "Are Roma tomatoes from Rome?", which I can just roll my eyes and laugh at. But some others are actually harmful to my demo, such as when he says that the finger guard is for wimps, and that the Mix 'n Chop is "stupid".[/QUOTE]


I did say this to a guy one night it was the second show he had been at and I was dreading it again...so after the first remark I very nicley said "hey Dave is going to do my job tonight! isn't that nice!!???" that was all I needed to say he then SHUT UP!
and his wife isn't much better than him!

 

[dannyzmom]

This watergun idea...i have read it before and am thinking I'd like to implement it - but I am worried, are people going to get pissy abuot getting wet? Is the host going to get pissy about water being squirted around her livingroom?

 

[chefann]

If you were worried about water, you could throw a small bamboo spoon at them, aiming at their noggin.

(My initial thought was chocolate kisses, because those can hurt, too, but those are too good to waste on a heckler.)

 

[chefjeanine]

I'd make him come up and help. He might not want to but if he's such a pain, the rest of your guests will probably bully him into being your assistant.

Great ideas from everyone. I use a cheerleader and a party policewoman at my shows. I have a little car with a siren instead of a squirt gun. . .wasn't sure how that would go over.