Can't Even Think of a Catchy Title...

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Discussion Overview

This thread centers around a participant's concerns regarding their sister's legal struggles in obtaining an order of protection against her husband. The participant expresses frustration over the lack of legal representation available and seeks support from the community, including prayers and advice on finding pro-bono legal assistance.

Discussion Character

  • Anecdotal
  • Opinion-based
  • Exploratory

Main Points Raised

  • One participant shares their experience of their sister's hearing for an order of protection, noting the absence of legal representation and the judge's lack of consideration for the sister's safety.
  • Another participant suggests contacting every lawyer in town to seek pro-bono assistance, emphasizing the potential benefits of having legal representation.
  • Several users mention the emotional toll of the situation, expressing empathy and offering support to the original poster.
  • One participant notes that their friend faced a similar situation and ultimately had a favorable outcome despite not having representation.
  • Another participant encourages asking for referrals from community resources, including churches.
  • One participant expresses frustration over the disparity in legal resources available to the sister compared to her husband's access to multiple lawyers.
  • Another participant updates the group on the sister's progress in finding legal help, indicating a potential lead for assistance.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Views differ on the best approach to finding legal assistance, with some participants advocating for direct outreach to lawyers while others suggest leveraging community resources for referrals. No clear consensus emerges on the effectiveness of these strategies.

Contextual Notes

The discussion reflects the emotional and logistical challenges faced by individuals seeking legal protection in domestic situations, highlighting the complexities of navigating the legal system without adequate resources.

Who May Find This Useful

Participants in similar situations, particularly those seeking legal assistance for protection orders or dealing with domestic issues, may find the shared experiences and suggestions relevant.

Kitchen Diva
Kitchen Diva
Gold Member
Messages
4,892
So my sister had her hearing for the order of protection against her husband today. Her husband's mother is paying for his team of lawyers in SD- and they've got ones up here in MN too, because one showed up, said they denied the OFP and wanted a hearing. So the judge banged his gavel and said okay. Didn't even ask my sister one question, or consider the safety of my niece.

My sister is unable to find ANY lawyers or free legal aid. No one will help with orders for protection. Only custody cases and other more serious issues. She's going to get pounded and needs an attorney and needs one fast. The new hearing is set for the 21st, and I will be called as a witness.

I understand that lawyers have to make a living but I'm at the point where I just don't know why someone can't just step up and go pro-bono for my sister.

I don't even know what kind of prayer to ask for. I already know that we might not win every battle, but we have won the war- and I know that God's hand is in this- but enough already, ya know?!?

So I guess if you could pray for guidance, wisdom, peace and comfort and grace that would be a good place to start. We have so many people praying for favor for my sister and the judge didn't even blink at her. The sad thing is our state is very much for women and children, so I'm amazed at this ruling... Normally they would err on the side of protecting the child, but for whatever reason, they aren't in this case.

I appreciate the prayers and thanks for listening to me whine...at least I feel like I'm whining today. I am a little tired and weary of all this crap... I need to go "come to Jesus and He will give me rest"
 
Contact every single lawyer in town and ask them to go pro-bono. It can't hurt... it may be a tiring lot of calls to make but it may pan something out. If they can't help you, ask for a referral from someone who can... Had she had representation they would have been a voice for her during that session. She may have had a right to speak and not know it! Good luck to you all!
 
Kitchen Diva said:
So my sister had her hearing for the order of protection against her husband today. Her husband's mother is paying for his team of lawyers in SD- and they've got ones up here in MN too, because one showed up, said they denied the OFP and wanted a hearing. So the judge banged his gavel and said okay. Didn't even ask my sister one question, or consider the safety of my niece.

My sister is unable to find ANY lawyers or free legal aid. No one will help with orders for protection. Only custody cases and other more serious issues. She's going to get pounded and needs an attorney and needs one fast. The new hearing is set for the 21st, and I will be called as a witness.

I understand that lawyers have to make a living but I'm at the point where I just don't know why someone can't just step up and go pro-bono for my sister.

I don't even know what kind of prayer to ask for. I already know that we might not win every battle, but we have won the war- and I know that God's hand is in this- but enough already, ya know?!?

So I guess if you could pray for guidance, wisdom, peace and comfort and grace that would be a good place to start. We have so many people praying for favor for my sister and the judge didn't even blink at her. The sad thing is our state is very much for women and children, so I'm amazed at this ruling... Normally they would err on the side of protecting the child, but for whatever reason, they aren't in this case.

I appreciate the prayers and thanks for listening to me whine...at least I feel like I'm whining today. I am a little tired and weary of all this crap... I need to go "come to Jesus and He will give me rest"
Click to expand...


You are certainly not whining. You are being dragged through hell. Vent all you need to. I have a friend who went through a similar battle and ultimately the father lost parental rights. She always went in w/o representation because she couldn't afford an attorney. Hopefully your siste rwill fare just as well.
 
Can you ask your church for referrals? Is there anyone there that is a lawyer?
 
I agree, ask everyone for a referral. EVERYONE!

You are always in my prayers...............
 
  • Thread starter
  • #6
I told my sister to call every lawyer in the Christian Phone book that we have...it's up to her. She hasn't listened to one piece of advice I've given her (but if someone else tells her the same thing- she'll do it, or listen) so I'm done trying to push her to do something.

She has already gone to her church and asked for guidance- they just prayed with her.

I guess I need to just go and get on my face and pray that the Holy Spirit would move in her and get her to start making calls.

The two places that offer free help don't offer free help for proteciton order hearings. And the one lawyer we've contacted (that I really like) will not go pro-bono...

Thanks Carolyn for making me feel better about my whining. I am really tired today and just don't even know how to express my frustrations with this entire ball of crap. It is hard enough as a family to deal with the fact that a tiny member of the family has been sexually abused by her father, but then to lose my job, and then 2 months later my husband loses his job, and the evil doer gets a TEAM of lawyers and we can't even afford to retain an attorney and I'm just ticked off!!!

I swear the pirates had it right...pilage and plunder and then ask questions! :)
 
  • Thread starter
  • #7
lkprescott said:
Contact every single lawyer in town and ask them to go pro-bono. It can't hurt... it may be a tiring lot of calls to make but it may pan something out. If they can't help you, ask for a referral from someone who can... Had she had representation they would have been a voice for her during that session. She may have had a right to speak and not know it!

Good luck to you all!
Click to expand...

He banged his gavel and that was that! My DH went with her- he said there truly was no way she was going to be allowed to speak. IF she had an attorney- someone could have spoken on her behalf...
 
  • Thread starter
  • #8
dannyzmom said:
You are certainly not whining. You are being dragged through hell. Vent all you need to. I have a friend who went through a similar battle and ultimately the father lost parental rights. She always went in w/o representation because she couldn't afford an attorney. Hopefully your siste rwill fare just as well.
Click to expand...

Well, I hope with the fact that her husband has attorney's in TWO flippin'
states to help him, that he loses his rights as well. This is insane!:grumpy:
 
  • Thread starter
  • #9
UpdateMy sister contacted one last number that was given to her, and they took all her info (They did an intake on her) and told her that someone would contact her today or tomorrow to discuss her case further. Please pray that they will take her on, and help her free of charge.

I'll keep you all posted. THanks!
 
Thank heavens! Fingers are crossed!!
 
  • Thread starter
  • #11
lkprescott said:
Contact every single lawyer in town and ask them to go pro-bono. It can't hurt... it may be a tiring lot of calls to make but it may pan something out. If they can't help you, ask for a referral from someone who can... Had she had representation they would have been a voice for her during that session. She may have had a right to speak and not know it!

Good luck to you all!
Click to expand...

That's 146 pages of attorney's...anyone wanna help call? :)
 
Yikes. Can you narrow it down some how? Maybe online?
 
Some of those attorneys wouldn't have anything to do with this type of case. If they specialize in corporate law, bankruptcy, insurance, personal injury, etc. You probably need a family attorney.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #14
chefann said:
Some of those attorneys wouldn't have anything to do with this type of case. If they specialize in corporate law, bankruptcy, insurance, personal injury, etc. You probably need a family attorney.
Click to expand...

Oh, I know that...I was just curious as to how many attorney's we had in our local area!

I knew I should have been an attorney! LOL If I didn't dislike lawyers so much I'd go to school to be one, but then I'd have to work with them- and well...been there, done that, took the beating, got the t-shirt.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #15
Another update-My sister just got a call and she has HOUSING! So far it's just a one bedroom apartment, but everything is paid for and it is about an hour south of us...it is out of the way, but it's a start.

DH and I need to get away for a week- other than a disasterous trip to Jamaica back in 2006, we are in bad need of some couple time and some alone time and some beach time... Sister can watch the house as she won't be able to move into her new place until June.

Just wanted to pass along this praise! :)
 
Keeping my fingers crossed the poss. lead calls back & can help your sister.
 
Kitchen Diva said:
My sister just got a call and she has HOUSING! So far it's just a one bedroom apartment, but everything is paid for and it is about an hour south of us...it is out of the way, but it's a start.DH and I need to get away for a week- other than a disasterous trip to Jamaica back in 2006, we are in bad need of some couple time and some alone time and some beach time... Sister can watch the house as she won't be able to move into her new place until June.

Just wanted to pass along this praise! :)
Click to expand...

Woohoo! Finally a little good news for you!:)
 
  • Thread starter
  • #18
I know, it's exciting!
 
Your welcome to come visit me, I live about 1 mile from the beach...

Jersey Shore is nice this time of the year, not too crowded yet...
 
thank you GodPlease dear God guide the attorney and the persons assisting the attorney.

I haven't read all of your posts, but do wonder about a women's crisis center. Many have legal assistance to help with protective orders against abusive family members. (I was on the board of our a few years ago and we had a grant to help with protective orders.)

I'm a Christian and believe in God's power and blessing, and that Christian folks are good people trusting in God. But sometimes prayer is action. And even folks who do not label themselves Christian can be loving caring helpful people. Sometimes God can use these caring people, too.

Most of all prayers are with you and each member of your family.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #21
quiltchef said:
Please dear God guide the attorney and the persons assisting the attorney.

I haven't read all of your posts, but do wonder about a women's crisis center. Many have legal assistance to help with protective orders against abusive family members. (I was on the board of our a few years ago and we had a grant to help with protective orders.)
I'm a Christian and believe in God's power and blessing, and that Christian folks are good people trusting in God. But sometimes prayer is action. And even folks who do not label themselves Christian can be loving caring helpful people. Sometimes God can use these caring people, too.

Most of all prayers are with you and each member of your family.
Click to expand...

They don't help with Orders For Protection here...otherwise she'd have the help. She did find one last place, and is waiting to hear from them today or tomorrow...
 
  • Thread starter
  • #22
vwpamperedchef said:
Your welcome to come visit me, I live about 1 mile from the beach...

Jersey Shore is nice this time of the year, not too crowded yet...
Click to expand...

We are going to see DH kids and our new grandson. Beats sitting around here twiddling our thumbs and stressing out and applying for jobs that aren't what we want and won't pay the bills...

Thanks for the offer however! :) It just so happens that DH's son is going to the neck of the woods we are going to in order to see DH's daughter and the new baby- so we'll get to see both grandson's and both kids and their respective spouses. Gotta run, I have a pair of denim capri's to buy and T-shirts to iron!

And if you see news of beached whales on TV- it's just DH and I...we're untanned and pudgey!
 
I am jumping in here late, but have you contacted women shelters in your area? They might have access to some legal services that would help. Just a thought.
 
Kitchen Diva said:
My sister just got a call and she has HOUSING! So far it's just a one bedroom apartment, but everything is paid for and it is about an hour south of us...it is out of the way, but it's a start.

DH and I need to get away for a week- other than a disasterous trip to Jamaica back in 2006, we are in bad need of some couple time and some alone time and some beach time... Sister can watch the house as she won't be able to move into her new place until June.

Just wanted to pass along this praise! :)
Click to expand...
Maybe you can work on that baby that you want!!:love: :D :blushing:
 
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  • #25
MissChef said:
Maybe you can work on that baby that you want!!:love: :D :blushing:
Click to expand...

I plan on it! I just packed 3 hubba-hubba nighties! :)

I started to feel guilty for going out of town when money is so tight, but we can still apply for jobs while sitting on the beach- and DH will help me finish my two resumes on the drive down there, and I'll update my Monster.com and Careerbuilder.com accounts.

I think just getting away, and focusing on us, and just staring at the ocean will help. There is something about the ocean...I see God in the ocean, I feel so at peace- I think clearly, I'm calm, I'm relaxed...

I look at it this way- my family might be upset and decide not to help us with money to support my sister and niece until she moves out next month but I don't care. It isn't our responsibility to provide for my sister and niece- my folks should and could help out...but for some reason because we opened our house to them, it's all on us. My mom dropped my niece back off tonight after having her for a day and asked my sister where me and DH were. She told mom that we were at Kohl's getting some clothes. My mom said, "Oh, I thought they didn't have any money?"

I'm like-I needed some clothes because I gave my sister almost everything in my closet, and I no longer have a pair of jean capri's... I was so upset when I heard she said that. It's like- why is Kristine (my nickname is Kacey) buying capri's when she has her sister and niece to support and both her and John are out of work? Shame on them... I asked my mom for some help on Tuesday, and she said she'd talk it over with my Step-dad. So I had my sister tell her tonight that we don't want their money. If they have to think about helping us feed, clothe, and house THEIR daughter and grand-daughter then pooh on them!

This is why I cannot wait until DH and I can move to NC!

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm finished packing for our trip to the beach. We've got plans to meet with dear-step son, and his son and wife, and plans to meet with step-daughter, her new baby boy and her hubby...and plans to sit on the beach for 3 days. I'm glad we are going-we can still look for work and set up interviews while we are at the beach, so I don't feel like I have to defend our going. Besides...that's what a paid off credit card is for right? I know it isn't- but crap...we are doing something we'd normally never do and we are getting out of dodge to recharge and de-stress.

Thanks for all the prayers for my sister. I'll let you know if she is able to get that free lawyer after they call her tomorrow. It looks like some people from a local church have some bedroom and livingroom furniture they can give her, and along with what we are giving her she won't need much to fill up her new place!
 
Oh Kacey... how close are you coming to me... I'll wave if nothing else! God has placed in the ocean the sound and sight of His power! I LOVE to sit and peer out over the waves and am always amazed at the power in them and then I close my eyes and just listen to the ebb and flow of those always present waves and their power! DRINK IT IN!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you and I pray that God will refresh and refill you!!!!!!!
 
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  • #27
quiverfull7 said:
Oh Kacey... how close are you coming to me... I'll wave if nothing else! God has placed in the ocean the sound and sight of His power! I LOVE to sit and peer out over the waves and am always amazed at the power in them and then I close my eyes and just listen to the ebb and flow of those always present waves and their power! DRINK IT IN!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you and I pray that God will refresh and refill you!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

Thanks, Diane... we wanted to go to NC originally- and I posted a thread about which beach we should visit- however no one replied, so I deleted it. This way we can se DH's kids and grandbabies...

I will wave at you, and will think of you as I'm bobbing care-free like a child in the waves of the ocean!
 
Just an idea, but call some of the women's shelters or crisis centers. I know they will be able to guide you somewhere.

Doesn't it just make you made that most people in the legal profession are only there for the almighty dollar??
 
Hi Kacey - I don't blame you one bit for getting out of dodge. I'll keep you in my prayers b/c I think you need it too! :) The doors will open for where God is guiding you.

Hugs!
 
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  • #30
crystalscookingnow said:
Hi Kacey - I don't blame you one bit for getting out of dodge. I'll keep you in my prayers b/c I think you need it too! :) The doors will open for where God is guiding you.

Hugs!
Click to expand...

Crystal, thanks so much, that means a lot to me! I still haven't told my folks we are going- I don't want to hear the disapointment in her voice and her questioning our finances and the wisdom of going out of town when we are both unemployed and money is beyond tight- but I want to destress, so I'm not going to call her :)
 
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