Anyone Else Living with In-Laws? How Do You Handle It?

[apriljc]

Just thougth I would start a new thread. My husband and I have been married for a little over 7 years. I knew he was close to his family, but OMG. We live in the county which I love becasue I grew up on a farm. We live in his great grandparents house, who are now deceased and his grandparents live about 100 feet away from us. It is nice sometimes because I can run down there and get a cup of flour if I need it but his grandma is a very nosy person. She likes to know what is going on with everyones lives.
My MIL lives about 10 miles away in town, She watches my boys, well one is now in all day kindergarten so she doesn't watch him all of the time but does watch my other one. So I have to drop him off and pick him up 4 days a week. It drives me nuts to see them everyday.
Don't get me wrong I know that his family would do anything for me and they do a lot of things for me, but it drives me nuts sometimes.
OK I feel better. I don't really tell my husband how I feel all the time so it felt good to get this off of my chest. Thanks for listening to me complain.

 

[Jennie4PC]

we used to live around the corner from my in laws it wasnt to bad they pretty much kept to themselves but then again I was used to living close to family my great grand parents lived next door and next door to them was my grand parents. my grand parents always said to my mom and dad we will treat you like neighbors first and family second. I have to say the hardest thing about living so close to my grand parents was we took them for granted and now I wish I had really gotten to know them better.

 

[melindag]

my mother in law lives 4 houses away from me. I have been married 16 years (anniversary is this friday!! )

I definitely has its challenges. I find that Caller ID and a good strong deadbolt on the front door work well!

Melinda

 

[gilchrist_pchef]

I live three houses down from my in-laws and caller ID does me no good. If I don't answer the phone they come down to my house and if I don't answer the door the start peeking in the windows

 

[pamperedlinda]

I live in Georgia and my in-laws live in Colorado....I'll leave it at that!

 

[melindag]

One night last November, my daughter (13) was home alone for about an hour while I was across the street at our high school, taking care of some administrative duties with my son's wrestling team. She called me and asked me to come home because someone kept ringing the doorbell and knocking on the doors and she saw someone peeking in the window .. - a window that the person would have had to climb up into my front flower bed to peek into!
I ran as fast as I could back across the street and found the evidence .... a plastic bag of something hanging on our front door knob....clearly something from Grandma!

And another time, I was very ill - had been very sick with fever, got deydrated, and spent about 12 hours in the ER being treated and rehydrated. I came home, hubby tucked me in bed, and took the kids somewhere to eat for dinner. My MIL called, and I told her - DON'T COME UP, I'm in bed, I'm going to be sleeping....and what did she do? YUP - she came up! And what did she find? ME....naked as a jaybird laying in my bed! I had been fighting fever, and would be under a pile of covers 1 minute and sweating to death the next.....she caught me in a sweating phase where I had peeled off ALL of my layers! I was soooo ticked off at her, I made my husband change all the locks on the house. Not only did she come in my house, but she came all the way upstairs to our bedroom!

When my kids were smaller, it was nice because it gave them a "boundary" for riding their bike, etc.....but now that they are 13 and 10....they've learned that Grandma doesn't need to know everything.

A sense of humor helps.....but sometimes I run out of humor!

Melinda

 

[tiffanypc05]

Well I have a one of a kind mil. She drives me insane...

Sometimes we can come home from town and she'll be sitting in my home, or they'll be things that are in the house that wasn't there when we left.

She lives 10 miles away and if we don't answer the phone she'll drive to our home!!!

My mom warned me before I married my hubby...

 

[rennea]

Sometimes we can come home from town and she'll be sitting in my home, or they'll be things that are in the house that wasn't there when we left.

If it was me I'd make some kind of comment that you think that there is some kind of pervert in the neighborhood coming into peoples homes and you are planning on calling the police (Just kidding)

I would lay down the law, it's not right to go into somebody's house like that. I too have the MIL from hell. Over the last 10 years I have set ground rules, we get a long but there are still days...............

 

[lacychef]

I live a block away from my mil, but she pretty much keeps to herself. DH & I also work all week with fil, and dh's step mom. I guess I'm pretty lucky; we don't have too many problems with any of them!

 

[apriljc]

OMG Melinda! I can't believe that your MIL just waled upstairs. My DH grandma likes to walk into my house, especially when he is not home and it is just me and my two boys. One time I was going to the bathroom and I didn't have the door shut because I was listening to the boys. She saw me and just went right on into the living room. Didn't way sorry or anything. Whenever I got down to their house I always knock, thinking she would get the picture. Not a chance.

 

[melindag]

yeah....I could give you 16 years worth of stories just like that one - like I said Caller ID and deadbolts help alot!

 

[jdavis]

OMG, you all are so hilarious. My late MIL was just over an hour away or my DH would have been attatched at all times I am sure (she passed a year and a half ago). I swear, these must all be the babies of the family. Both my older children's father and my husband were both the babies and it drives me insane!

I live in Georgia and my in-laws live in Colorado....I'll leave it at that!

BTW Linda, how did your last visit go? I don't remember seeing an update, lol.

 

[pamperedlinda]

BTW Linda, how did your last visit go? I don't remember seeing an update, lol.

Thanks for asking - it wasn't as horrible as I had thought it might be. We borrowed my SIL's RV and took a 3 day trip around Colorado (so beautiful this time of year). Thankfully my SIL went with us since her folks were going too. And, thank goodness that the in-laws drove their own car and stayed in motels! I know I would have pulled my hair out if they had been with us the entire time!

 

[tlmcunning]

My MIL lives 8 blocks away and is in the process of moving 2 streets away from us. I don't mind much anymore that we live close. It has come in very handy when I have had to go out at the last minute and get things done. She will come right over to watch my boys. I usually talk with her at least once a day and see her several times a week. There are days that she just shows up at the house, but those are usually quick trips and she always asks if I need to go run any errands while she is there so I don't have take the boys with me.

 

[crystalscookingnow]

We live about 100 feet from my IL's. My MIL has gotten better over the last 3 years, but it was a completely different story when my 2nd dd was born. She is the first baby grandchild in the family (my older dd was 2 when dh & I got married).

I was trying unsuccessfully to nurse Sara (#2). I had decided to use the pump to help. I was sitting on the couch attached to the pump, Sara was sleeping in her pack & play & my MIL decided to waltz right in. Now that was a precarious position to be in. She walked right over to the play pen & picked up my happily sleeping newborn to wake her up. All this happened while I was attached to a plugged in pump. Now what exactly was I going to do? Not to mention the fact that Sara came 9 months to the day after we got married (she was a month early) & I had only known her for about 11 months before all this happened. Not exactly who I want to be bareing my boob to.

 

[Chef Michelle D]

My parents lived across the street when I got married. My father died 5 years ago and my mother lives with us in an in-law appartment know. My husband has always gotten along better with my parents than we do with his. They live the next town over (10 - 15 min drive).

My mother in-law reminds me of the mom on "Everybody Loves Raymond". There is not an episode that I have seen that I say to my husband "that sounds like your mother".

We did not get along at all when we were dating or first married. We were only 23 years old when we got married 15 years ago. Then we build our house and then had my son who is the only grandchild so things have gotten better. But they do drive us crazy at times. My mother who lives in the same house as us would not think of coming in my part of the house with out calling first and she lives down stairs from us.

Before we built our house the house across the street from my in-laws was for sale and she wanted us to buy it. I told my husband there is no way on this earth I could live that close to her so FORGET IT!!!

Good luck everyone. We don't just marry the man we marry his WHOLE FAMILY TOO!!!!

Michelle



Michelle De Angelis

 

[brandalyn74]

Hi all, I'm new here to PC and chefsuccess, but I just couldn't help but to pipe in on this conversation....

Inlaw problems....try marrying her only child, having her live next door and having her be your landlord. I lived that nightmare for 8 years. Then we moved about 10 miles away, in the next town. She would then stop over when she ran errands to Walmart and the grocery store.

Finally, once the kids started school, I went to work and she stopped bothering me. Seems she didn't have many friends and had always dreamed of becoming "best friends" with her son's wife. Lucky me!

Now, thanks to Hurricane Katrina, we are living with my folks while we try to figure out where and how to rebuild. (Yes, I know its been more than a year, but life is still far from normal anywhere along the Gulf Coast.)

I started PC this month, in anticipation of moving to new area of the New Orleans Metro area and so far, our bids on 3 different houses have fallen through. Right now, I am preparing for a holiday catalog blitz at the elementary school where my sister is teaching.

All of our friends and family are scattered so the usual "list of 100" doesn't really apply right now. But, I'm excited. If nothing else, my nearest and dearest family and friends can restock their destroyed kitchens with quality products.

Anyway, thanks for letting me join the "inlaw" discussion.

BTW, my inlaws have decided to reside permanently in Arkansas....a whole 9 hours away. Gotta love the Natural State!

 

[AJPratt]

They are two hours away and that's not far enough.

 

[dannyzmom]

Well...after a L-O-N-G day of visiting with my in-laws I just have to say THANK GOD THEY LIVE 1200 MILES AWAY!!!!
One afternoon with them and I am ready to chug a tall glass of antifreeze!!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Well...after a L-O-N-G day of visiting with my in-laws I just have to say THANK GOD THEY LIVE 1200 MILES AWAY!!!!
One afternoon with them and I am ready to chug a tall glass of antifreeze!!!

I know that feeling well!

 

[dannyzmom]

I know that feeling well!

Oh no...unless you've met my MIL, you have no idea of just how hellish it was!!

I straightened my hair today (it's usually wavy) - I met everyone (hubby, MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL & nephews) for lunch...I walk in and my SIL is going nuts over how much she loves my hair straight and how she wants me to flat-iron her hair and she's all touching my hair and going on & on about how great it looks, soft it feels, etc...and my CHARMING motherinlaw says "Well, I think it looks limp and thin."

:::thud::::

And what BURNS ME UP the most is that my stupid husband (God, forgive me) says to me later "Why do you let her get to you? She's harmless!" GEEEEEZ! How 'bout you DEFEND me...how 'bout you say "Hey ma...that's not a nice thing to say to my beautiful wife!"

ARGH

 

[AJPratt]

IMHO its up to your husband to handle his mother. And he should have defended you. Because she will keep it up if he doesn't set her straight. In her mind she's thinking, "Of course, it would bother her." But if your husband speaks up, it'll be a different story.

 

[dannyzmom]

IMHO its up to your husband to handle his mother. And he should have defended you. Because she will keep it up if he doesn't set her straight. In her mind she's thinking, "Of course, it would bother her." But if your husband speaks up, it'll be a different story.

I totally agree...he just doesnt see anything wrong in the way his mother is "It's just how she is" he says. ARGH

 

[jdavis]

I would have probably kicked him under the table after she said it as in HELLO pay attention, your mother is badmouthing me, lol. Or if not then when he said that ughh, I do know people that lots of people say they can't get along with and most of the time I just nod and uhhuh, and ignore most of it.

 

[AJPratt]

Ask him: "Do you think its good for the kids see someone talk to me like this regularly? They will think its ok when it ISN'T."

 

[dannyzmom]

Ask him: "Do you think its good for the kids see someone talk to me like this regularly? They will think its ok when it ISN'T."

Lucky for my husband...my kids were not there (they are my kids, his stepkids). He knows I have ZERO tolerance for ANYTHING when the kids are involved and if his mom badmouthed me in front of them and my husband didn't stick up for me...he would have been walking home.