Advice?? Nothing to Do With Pampered Chef

[PCSarahjm]

I need a little help... My cousin was to marry 8-25-07 but they have post poned the wedding. (various reasons) The bridesmaids have all purchased dresses including myself. They have not set a date yet but reasurred me there will be wedding. My husband and I were planning/trying to have a baby after the wedding... but with no date for the wedding it is hard to plan a baby. My dress will not fit if I am too pregnant. I know I shouldn't let this wedding decide for me and husband about a baby...Advice?? Try to have a baby before the wedding roles around (which might be awhile asked yesterday if it would be in the next 3, 6, 9 mths no answer) or wait it out?

My husband is like it's no big deal if the dress doesn't fit she can find someone else. but she is like a sister to me so I couldn't do that to her.

Let me hear it b/c I know you guys are so good with this type of thing!

 

[laylaleigh]

Have a baby!!!!!!!!! Your cousin will understand. You have to do what is best for you and your family.

 

[ginamkiely]

i agree!! have your baby, if you can't be in the wedding she'll understand.

 

[chefheidi2003]

What kind of cut is it?? If it is a high waist then they might only need to do some small alterations because if you carry small then it might work out. I don't know what else to tell you that is a tough one. I know that I am not much help. I was in a wedding once and about a month before the wedding she had it out with one of the girls so she asked someone else to replace her and the first girl was skinny and the second was VERY pregnant. They were able to alter it very well. I know that I was not much help and I hope that someone else can help you better but good luck with having a baby.

 

[pamperedtara]

Definitely have the baby! She will understand!

 

[pamperedpals]

Absolutely have the baby.

 

[laylaleigh]

I know all about altering dresses. I was in a wedding 7 months pregnant. You can order extra fabric and they can add room for you. They work wonders. My friend was just in a wedding 2 weeks before she gave birth, and she was VERY pregnant. I was in another wedding and the dress was the wrong size. I had to order fabric and have a new dress made. Let's just say, if you really want to still be in the wedding, there is a way.

 

[BethCooks4U]

A good seamstress will be able to recut your dress to make it fit and look good. Do what's right for you and your family. She will understand - after all you did wait until her scheduled date - not your fault things changed and they can't decide on a new date.

 

[reba515]

yup I had a size 6 gown made into a 38 week maternity dress (for a 10 pounder of a baby!) It came out beautiful....welll the bride was happy

 

[PCSarahjm]

Thanks guys I let you know how it all works out. I think i might sort of bring it up to her in a round about way with saying I am going to be pregnant at your wedding and see how she handles it.. She holds grudges like you wouldn't believe and she is having enough stress right now with this wedding thing that I don't want to add to it.

 

[DebbieJ]

I don't see why you are obligated to tell her you might be preggers at her wedding. This is about YOUR family--you, your DH, and your children. If she has a problem with it, she can involve you in her wedding in some other way. And if she holds a grudge, then you know not to include her in your inner circle anymore. I certianly wouldn't want to be friends with someone who was against having a pregnant woman in a wedding. I think pregnant women are beautiful! I was 7 mths pregnant in my friends wedding and it was a blast.

 

[PCSarahjm]

Debbie J,

Thank you for saying that!!! That is what I have been thinking the whole time but just didn't have the words put together to say it. I want her big day to be perfect with no flaws. I now it is important to her that I be in the wedding so that is why I am questioning the whole thing. she has had a rough time with the wedding plans as it is and I don't want to add to it. But then again I think to myself if she wants to hold a grudge or be selfish about the situation then I really don't want my family around that anyway.

 

[Kitchen2u]

Not meant to be mean...but if she didn't postpone the wedding to begin with, the dress/pregnancy would not have been an issue, right? It wasn't YOUR fault this postponment occured, right?

But for heaven sakes, your life can't stop just because of her wedding. If she can't understand that, that's a shame. Plus when I got married, we chose folks who we loved, they were instrumental of our relationship/marriage/etc. and we were honored they would to be in the wedding...these feelings would not have changed if they were pregnant.

Side comment: It really blows me away about weddings. You are asked to be in the wedding ~ and you have to pay to be in it ~ plus a wedding gift... My DH and I paid for EVERYTHING. No, we weren't rich, but our phylosophy was if we're "asking" them to be n the wedding ~ WE should pay for the expenses...and they ARE expensive!

Have :love: FUN :love: :love: trying to get pregnant!!!

 

[missydivine]

Have a baby!!!!!!!!! Your cousin will understand. You have to do what is best for you and your family.

That's my vote too!:angel:

 

[janetupnorth]

Live your life - have a baby if you can - don't worry.

I had a 13 month engagement (planned that way), we went shopping at got dresses in month 2 of the engagement. (Luckily I picked a high waist one that looked good on all body types). My friend Heidi got pregnant and was 7 1/2 months at my wedding. We bought extra material just in case, but never needed it, her dress still fit (and she was huge). She looked great and we used the extra material to make the flower girl's dress.

So, in conclusion, it will all work out...

 

[cathyskitchen]

Go for it and start trying. I waited until my sister's wedding to start trying for #3, and by then, my eggs must have gotten cobwebs, b/c it took us 2 years to finally get PG, then we miscarried. We tried for a while after that, but the fertility dr's got too expensive, and my body just couldn't take it anymore, and we gave up on our dreams for a 3rd child.

I often wonder if I had just started trying when we wanted to instead of waiting until after her wedding if we would have had a third or not. I'll never know. Your cousin may never get married and you could later regret not trying when you had the chance. Just my opinion based on what I've been through, but I wouldn't let someone else's wedding get in the way of your family plans. Best of luck to you!!

 

[Chef Kearns]

A good seamstress will be able to recut your dress to make it fit and look good. Do what's right for you and your family. She will understand - after all you did wait until her scheduled date - not your fault things changed and they can't decide on a new date.

I agree! It sounds like most of us feel this way. That show Bridezillas is crazy!! I can't imagine real people actually acting that way and saying the things they say (and they KNOW they are on television)!! Hopefully she will understand. If not, there is nothing you can do about it. You did plan to wait until the "scheduled" date and that was all you could do. You wer generous to do that!

 

[finley1991]

You can't put your life and happiness on old for someone else, even if she is very close. She will understand. Happy baby making!

 

[jenniferp417]

When we got my best friend measured for her bridesmaid dress, she said "wouldn't it be funny if one of us got pregnant and couldn't fit in our dress?" She was already pregnant and didn't know it yet.We did not have extra money - either of us. Not a dime. And it was a narrow-waisted dress - there was no taking it out. We even had her mom, a talented seamstress, take a look. No go. If there'd been any spare money we could have found anywhere... we'd have put her in another dress - any dress, really, just so she could be a bridesmaid.In the end, she was in the wedding programs as an "honorary bridesmaid" and my cousin wore the dress. It wasn't what I wanted, or my friend wanted, but we couldn't find another way to do it.In the end, you can only do what you can do.Have your baby. Your friend, if she's any sort of friend, will understand.

 

[chefkristin]

I hope you decide to have that baby. Don't wait if your just waiting on the wedding. This is about you and you hubby! Not anyone else.

 

[janetupnorth]

I hope you decide to have that baby. Don't wait if your just waiting on the wedding. This is about you and you hubby! Not anyone else.

...and hopefully baby...

 

[chefann]

Weddings are all about starting families! No reason to put off adding to yours just to please her.

 

[missydivine]

You need to do what is best for your family!

 

[pamperedlinda]

You have to live your life. She did not take your plans into consideration when she changed hers....so don't worry about it. If you are pregnant, then so be it. If she decides to reschedule her wedding, hopefully you will be able to be a part of it. Here's hoping to a baby in 9 months!

 

[tpchefrebecca]

I vote have a baby! And ditto what everyone else said

 

[Carissidy]

I need a little help... My cousin was to marry 8-25-07 but they have post poned the wedding. (various reasons) The bridesmaids have all purchased dresses including myself. They have not set a date yet but reasurred me there will be wedding. My husband and I were planning/trying to have a baby after the wedding... but with no date for the wedding it is hard to plan a baby. My dress will not fit if I am too pregnant. I know I shouldn't let this wedding decide for me and husband about a baby...Advice?? Try to have a baby before the wedding roles around (which might be awhile asked yesterday if it would be in the next 3, 6, 9 mths no answer) or wait it out?

My husband is like it's no big deal if the dress doesn't fit she can find someone else. but she is like a sister to me so I couldn't do that to her.

Let me hear it b/c I know you guys are so good with this type of thing!

I worked in a bridal store for 8 years and was wondering did you buy from the rack or was it orded... is it in yet? it also depends on the design of the dress, A line, Princess cut, or otherwise is an easy fix:thumbup: I dont know if they have a seamstress where you purchased you dress but I would definitely find out... If not and it is basque waist than they will have to order extra fabric from the company and make gussets... you definitely have options but I would never let this be my decision maker to add to your family! Think of yourself first and all else will fall into place besides I would like to think your cousin would be upset with you!

 

[tlennhoff]

I would not put off having a baby because of someone elses wedding that is at an unspecified date. With how stressed she sounds right now I would not mention to her that you are trying to get pregnant as she has plenty of stress and if timing works out that this is an issue then you can work with her to find a solution. I personally would be appaled if I found out one of my bridesmaids was putting getting pregnant on hold due to my wedding.

 

[lockhartkitchen]

Don't wait to add to your family. Many are right. Your family is number one. A new life should be a celebration not a "grudge". You never know if there may be issues if waiting. My son and daughter are 5 1/2 years apart. Didn't expect it would take longer to get my daughter, but the age difference is fine. My daughters are 4 years apart.

 

[susan g]

This is another vote for HAVE THE BABY. The only thing I have to add is don't tell your friend until you need to. With her stress over the postponement right now, if you think your news will add to this, don't tell her. IF you get pregnant and IF she does get married, then you will find the right time to share your good news and if she's your friend, she will be happy for you.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Lots of people have chimed in here, but I will too!

Having a baby and adding to your family is a miracle. If God plans on you getting pregnant, you will! If your friend has a problem with that, well, she really isn't a friend to begin with. I know that the wedding is "her" day...but a pregnancy would only ADD to the specialness of that day!

I have to say...my best friend all through High School was a very negative person who held grudges for life! Since graduation, something set her off about me and since then our friendship just hasn't been the same. I have asked her what I did to upset her but she says "nothing." Honestly, her negativity is not something that I need around me or my family. I have prayed many times about this broken friendship, and finally have just given it over to God so that I don't hold her actions against her. If and when she decides to act like an adult, we will be friends again. Don't let your friend walk all over you, or make you second guess your plans just because of her wedding! Again, if she TRUELY is your friend, she would rejoice with you...not look at it as a problem!

Just my 2 cents...
:balloon: :balloon: :balloon: :balloon:

 

[Chef Michelle D]

Have the baby when it's best for you and your family. Monday is Labor day and it's a long weekend might be the best time to get started....