Advice Needed: Navigating a Touchy Situation with a Home Office Lead

[dannyzmom]

I have a touchy situation and am looking for some advice.
I got a Home Office Lead last week. I called her and she said she would like to book a show. She told me she recently went to a show and both she and her friends (including the hostess of that show) were totally "put off" by the consultant who did the demo. They found her rude and snippy and she decided she wanted to have a show...just NOT with that consultant. So...she went to the PC site and was directed to me.

Now, after booking her show and sending otu her invitations, in our conversation today, she mentioned the name of the other consultant...it's someone I know...VERY WELL...so well as a matter of fact that I am not comfy posting my relation to her on this public forum (PM me for those details).

She also told me some of the things the other gal did that she and her friends found offensive. Can I still do this show? I don't want to hurt the other consultant's feelings, or my relationship with her, or her business. Now, knowing the things she did that were so offensive...do I gently address those issue with her so as to help her not do those things again? Or do I just let sleeping dogs lie?

 

[PampMomof3]

Good Luck!Hey Carolyn. I had the same situation happen and it is a very good friend of mine. I didn't know what to do and it's not like I pursued the person who booked from me. She got my name through another friend (in fact, it was from my very first kitchen show , a year later!) and then contacted me. I put two and two together and was in a moral dilemma. I decided to tell my friend a couple days before the party and man, it felt like I was cheating on my husband or something. It was terrible. The host said that a couple of her friends didn't like her "attitude" and wanted to try someone new. Of course my friend asked me what she did wrong and I was honest and told her. I feel like if I lied, she had nothing to work on so she appreciated my honesty. She picks on me here and there about me stealing her customers but I feel like it was the best thing to do for our friendship.

I wish you LOTS of luck because you are absolutely right, It IS a touchy situation. Keep up updated!

 

[dannyzmom]

Hey Carolyn. I had the same situation happen and it is a very good friend of mine. I didn't know what to do and it's not like I pursued the person who booked from me. She got my name through another friend (in fact, it was from my very first kitchen show , a year later!) and then contacted me. I put two and two together and was in a moral dilemma. I decided to tell my friend a couple days before the party and man, it felt like I was cheating on my husband or something. It was terrible. The host said that a couple of her friends didn't like her "attitude" and wanted to try someone new. Of course my friend asked me what she did wrong and I was honest and told her. I feel like if I lied, she had nothing to work on so she appreciated my honesty. She picks on me here and there about me stealing her customers but I feel like it was the best thing to do for our friendship.

I wish you LOTS of luck because you are absolutely right, It IS a touchy situation. Keep up updated!

I just don't know if I can come out and tell her. She is a very fragile person emotionally to begin with. I don't want to shake her up. I am thinking I could always just make like this Home Office lead NEVER told me she'd been a guest a ____'s show or even knew of her??

 

[Shawnna]

Perhaps your director could discuss those "offensive issues" at a cluster meeting. You don't have to tell the whole situation and then it is not being directed at any one person. Sometimes people do not realize they are being offensive, but they can get defensive if we point it out to them. Your customer is not obligated to the other consultant. If she went online to get a consultant, then you shouldn't feel bad.

 

[dannyzmom]

Perhaps your director could discuss those "offensive issues" at a cluster meeting. You don't have to tell the whole situation and then it is not being directed at any one person. Sometimes people do not realize they are being offensive, but they can get defensive if we point it out to them. Your customer is not obligated to the other consultant. If she went online to get a consultant, then you shouldn't feel bad.

I am the director at my meetings. This person does nto attend my meetings...otherwise that'd be a great idea!

 

[Chef susan]

I don't know why it has to come up at all--I don't tell my team the names of the people I am doing shows for and they don't tell me their hosts names--do the show and see how it turns out for you---it could be the hosts and guests that are the difficult ones????

then after the show if a subject comes up about dealing with hosts while talking to this girl just give her an exampl of what definitely not to do...???!!

Hope this sounds right

 

[dannyzmom]

I don't know why it has to come up at all--I don't tell my team the names of the people I am doing shows for and they don't tell me their hosts names--do the show and see how it turns out for you---it could be the hosts and guests that are the difficult ones????

then after the show if a subject comes up about dealing with hosts while talking to this girl just give her an exampl of what definitely not to do...???!!

Hope this sounds right

This is pretty much my plan Susan.

 

[gilliandanielle]

I'd say what you don't tell your friend can't hurt her. You don't have to let your friend know that they didn't like her, or even that they were at her show. Just act like the show is any other show, and she will never know the difference.

 

[whiteyteresa]

Here's my 2 cents worth.

I think that being honest and helping the consultant to know what happen is the best way to go. She may not realize what she did (she might of had a bad day). Put yourself into her shoes. Would you like to know what you did to upset others so that it wouldn't happen again and maybe that consultant could send the host a 'I'm sorry' card and maybe even a small gift. I think by not telling her is wrong, she need to know so that it won't hurt her business. Because when it hurts her business, it hurts your business(money) and it hurts all consultants if she doesn't change. I'm sorry if this sounds terrible but I believe in honesty when it comes down to something like this. And if she gets upset, then maybe she shouldn't be a consultant.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Here's my 2 cents worth.

I think that being honest and helping the consultant to know what happen is the best way to go. She may not realize what she did (she might of had a bad day). Put yourself into her shoes. Would you like to know what you did to upset others so that it wouldn't happen again and maybe that consultant could send the host a 'I'm sorry' card and maybe even a small gift. I think by not telling her is wrong, she need to know so that it won't hurt her business. Because when it hurts her business, it hurts your business(money) and it hurts all consultants if she doesn't change. I'm sorry if this sounds terrible but I believe in honesty when it comes down to something like this. And if she gets upset, then maybe she shouldn't be a consultant.

I agree with Teresa!
If you had done something to offend someone, but didn't realize you had - would you want them to just continue on telling all of their friends and family how offensive you are - all the while being left in the dark, or would you like the opportunity to apologize and try to make things right?
You never know when or where she might hear about the bad things being said about her, or that you took her place doing the shows, but if she should happen to hear, think how hurt she would be, and the irrepairable damage it might do to your relationship.
I would give her the benefit of the doubt, and approach her that way - not blaming or accusing, but just saying "this is what I heard, and I wanted you to know" I wouldn't speak badly of her to the person asking you to host, and I would go ahead and do the show. This person obviously won't be asking her to do the show, and you could stem the tide of bad feelings by doing the show and being gracious(offering grace) on both fronts.