Advice for a SAHM at a Crossroads with Her Business

[Brandie]

Hi, all!

I'm sort of at a crossroads with my business, and so I'm turning to y'all for some advice.

Several weeks ago, my husband got a job in Indianapolis, about two hours from where we currently live. It's a great opportunity for him, and we know a lot of people in the area, so it's a great opportunity for us, as well. We worked hard, got our house ready and on the market, and it sold within a week. Actually, we now have two pending offers: the original and a back-up. This is completely crazy in the current soft real estate market, so we're taking it as a sign that we are definitely doing the right thing. We may have even found a rental house in the city where we want to live, too, so that's even better still!

Here's the thing: I am not sure if I will continue my PC business when I move. I started my business to get out of the house when I was first a SAHM, and now I have lots of other social outlets. So I no longer need it for that. I found that I really enjoyed spending a lot of time (and sometimes money, too) on my business, and sometimes it got truly invasive when I consider the type of life I want to lead and the type of mom I want to be. I have a hard time doing things at a pace other than full-tilt, and so that was frustrating to me.

I have taken some time off from my business, and I have to say that it has been very liberating. I've been spending more quality time with my girls and less time on the computer and/or phone. I feel like a better mom to them, even though I have been crazy busy with the house and moving arrangements. I guess I am feeling like my business is getting in my way in some respects.

Anyhow, I guess I am just looking for some responses. Has anyone else felt this way? How have you dealt with it? I'm planning some time off using aome leaves of absence; anyone have any advice? I just don't want my business to feel like it is holding me back personally. Am I just a lunatic?

Thanks so much!

 

[BethCooks4U]

You have to decide what is right for you - in your heart.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide and in your move!

 

[PCJenni]

I am a SAHM too and struggle with the balance of having my business. But I feel like I am a better mom sometimes because I have PC. I think I will be setting a good example for my daughter when she sees me having my own thing rather than being dependent on my husband. Perhaps you can just slow your business down a bit... fewer shows???

 

[JAE]

Not a lunatic, for sure. Maybe someone can share what they learned in the organization workshop. I think you can, if you want, stay with PC and just spend one hour a day on it or whatever amount of time you feel is the right amount for you (including CS after you make the calls and get things prepared or whatever). If you aren't passionate about it, don't spend time on PC.

 

[pamperedbecky]

I am a SAHM too and struggle with the balance of having my business. But I feel like I am a better mom sometimes because I have PC. I think I will be setting a good example for my daughter when she sees me having my own thing rather than being dependent on my husband. Perhaps you can just slow your business down a bit... fewer shows???

I feel the same way. I also view PC as my "outlet" and feel I'd go bonkers some day if I didn't have this to look forward to day to day or week to week. I do struggle to find a balance to being a mom to two active kids (2 and 5) and being a consultant/Director, but that's mostly because I'm very organizationally-challenged!! (Remember pics of my office????!). And the fact that I don't prioritize my time all that well (the time spent here on CS is one aspect!).

I can truly say that I NEED this type of role in my life.....the recognition, the feeling of fulfillment because I'm helping people in their kitchens or with growing themselves/their lives with PC, the feeling of being successful at something.....these are all reasons that I need PC. On the days I feel that I'm not up to par as a mommy or a wife, I at least know SOMETHING is consistently good in my life. Not to mention all the great perks, but these personal/heart tug ones are the things that do it for me.

I wish you luck in your decision. I guess you need to review what purpose this serves in your life, what you get out of it (besides a commission check), and what you're willing to "give up." I know what that answer would be for me, but each of us has to decide that for ourselves. Good luck!

 

[raebates]

Yes, you're a lunatic, but that has nothing at all to do with deciding what to do with your PC business. I know how well you do when your heart is in it. Heck, you spent enough time kicking my booty in our cluster contests. However, I also know that you've got a pretty full plate right now. I'd hate to see you leave PC. I want you to know, though, that I trust you to make the right decision for you and your family. You've got my number if you ever want to chat. I'm a pretty good listener.

 

[Pampered Laura]

There's a great CD on the supply order called Move it Don't Lose It. Or something like that. This business is great because it can be whatever you want it to be. Just don't fall in to the trap of trying to please other people, or striving to reach someone ELSE'S goals for you. That's a very tough thing to recognize in yourself, but once you are confident that you're running your business for YOU and YOUR family, everything just falls in to place. If that means going part time, or being a "hobbyist", then thats great. Do what works for you - when you're ready to step it up again, you can always do it.

 

[JAE]

Yes, to all of that.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I wouldn't make the decision based on your feelings right now. Take a leave and see if your mind changes after a while. I just took some time off myself and feel so much more energized in my business. I just needed a break. I get obsessed though and PC becomes my life (I need to learn how to hide it from the family - who wants to give up a habit!)!

Good luck with your move, it sounds like it is going great so far!

 

[heat123]

I think you can take a leave of absence for a bit, then decide after that point (clear your head and thoughts) . But do what your heart is telling you to do is most important! As people have said you can take it to a part time or hobbyist level before hangin up your apron! Good luck to you!

 

[chef_kimmo]

That is what is nice about our business is that we can do it to the extent we want to. You may want to quit all together but maybe slowing it down, as suggested earlier, may be all you need for now.

I know the big 3-2-1 does not support that idea but it is only the guideline for those who want the bigger items. Do what you can (or want to) and re-evaluate your feelings down after you finish the move. You may want to continue PC for extra $$$ to help with the moving expenses or things with the new house or even college for those wonderful kids.

Take your time before you quit and do what you feel is best for you.

Good Luck,
Kim

 

[cookinmelissa]

The move it don't lose it cd is really good. It gave me great ideas and I didn't even move. I would give it a little while after you move and see how you still feel. I know how it is when you take some time off and feel like you are getting to know your kids again in a different way then when you are working a lot on your business. That might be just me, I have a hard time sharing my time with the two.By the way, where are you moving to in Indy? I am on the east side, in Cumberland.

 

[mheat923]

FWIW...Last year I decided I was done with the business, although for different reasons...I just let myself fall inactive...fast forward almost a year..and I wanted a replacement stone for one that broke as did a friend so I emailed my director who was surprised to hear from me and reactivated and I must say I LOVE PC again...my point in telling you that brief smmary is this..take a break and let yourself relax before making the final choice!

 

[lisacb77]

You have to do what's right for you. Although I don't have kids I have felt the same for a while, that the business was getting in the way of family and other outlets. After taking it slow the past few months I have decided to go inactive, not resign. That way it will still be there for me to reactivate if needed. My work schedule has just gotten too demanding to do this right.

I've been planning to come on here and post that news but I'm also working on a post for the marketplace to offload some of my items. I plan to keep the bare minimum for close friends and family to order but that's it.

Good luck with your move & decision.

 

[MGG]

I understand how you feel. Exactly how you feel. I do PC full force and sometimes it is not the best for my boys. However, it is exactly for the reasons that Becky mentioned--I do not prioritize my time well. If I made packets in advance and planned my outings PC would only take 1 hour a day. 3 contacts takes only 9 minutes. Do what you feel is best for you. I have decided to give it another full season and manage my time better. If by Jan my time is still more PC than mommy I will just be a heck of a hostess to get my PC fix.

 

[twinchefs]

Go with your heart. Only you know what is best for you and your family.

 

[Brandie]

I just want to thank everyone for your input. I will probably take a leave before I do anything drastic because I know with my whole life in upheaval, right now is not a good time to make big decisions. I am sort of an all-or-nothing type of personality, I guess, and that's what's hard for me. I want to be just a dabbler, but I just can't.

I can relate to the comment about needing the recognition and accomplishment. Raising kids is a really hard job that is often wholly without recognition (other than just having great kids, which I do), and this has been a good accomplishment- and recognition-driven job for me. I just feel that I am going to have to draw the line.

Like I said, I believe I will take a leave of absence (after my future sister-in-law's bridal shower), and then decide when that time has come to an end. Thanks again for all the really insightful advice. I love this place!

 

[chefjeanine]

Brandie,

If you are able, I'd suggest you not take a leave but just keep doing the minimum -- a catalog show here, a cooking show there -- so you don't lose your career sales. You've been in for more than two years, one of these days you may decide to go great guns and I'd hate to see you starting all over.

 

[Brandie]

If I take a leave of absence, I won't lose my career sales (though I did that once by going inactive, so I've been down that road...). That's how I understand it. Anyone know exactly how th leave of absence works?

 

[chefann]

You have to have a good reason, otherwise HO can refuse it. If they do refuse it, you can get a retroactive waiver, but you'll have to pay $25 for that privilege. A leave is good for 3 months, and you can only take 1 per 12-month period.

 

[chefjeanine]

You have to have a good reason, otherwise HO can refuse it. If they do refuse it, you can get a retroactive waiver, but you'll have to pay $25 for that privilege. A leave is good for 3 months, and you can only take 1 per 12-month period.

Brandie,

That's why I suggest just maintaining. If you take a leave of abscence and then get in a bind were you REALLY need it, you will have used up your chance.

 

[finley1991]

You have to have a good reason, otherwise HO can refuse it. If they do refuse it, you can get a retroactive waiver, but you'll have to pay $25 for that privilege. A leave is good for 3 months, and you can only take 1 per 12-month period.

Ann is right... your reason has the fall into the Leave of Absence criteria or they will refuse it. See the Policies on Consultant's Corner for them.

Three people on my director's team were refused leave in the last year because their reasons did not fall into the criteria.

 

[chefann]

Good reason: major personal health issues (a recruit of mine used this when she had back surgery)
Bad reason: just didn't feel like making phone calls

 

[Brandie]

Thanks for all the information again! I have just reread the P&P information on leaves and staying active. Since I submitted more than $200 in June, I have until the end og August to submit another $200, which will be no problem whatsoever with the bridal shower that I am doing. Then I should have another $200+ with a catalog show that I will do in either September or October, which maintains my active status until the end of October or November, at which point I should be settled enough to fgiure out what I am going to do next--leave of absence or quitting or getting back into it. The leave will not be a problem since I am moving more than 100 miles, and that is one of the criteria.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone for all your advice! You are all way rad!

 

[tlennhoff]

That sounds like a great plan Brandie. This is a great group and really can help us figure things out.