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What Do Birthday Candles & Your Spouse Have in Common?

In summary, as you get older, there are many signs that indicate it. These include only blowing out birthday candles once a year, receiving compliments on alligator shoes while being barefoot, and not needing x-rays anymore. Other signs include being able to go bra-less without wrinkles, preferring to stay at home instead of going out, and having more patience. Additionally, you may start to forget things, have joint pain, and need to use adult diapers. In general, as you age, your body and lifestyle change in various ways.
thechefofnorthbend
1,129
What does your birthday candles and your husband (bf?) have in common?
They only get blown once a year...:cool:
ba-da-bump

Your getting older when...

When your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

- When your doctor doesn't give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light.

- When a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest you.

- When you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

- When your wife says, "Let's go upstairs and make love" and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

- Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

- When you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

- You know you're getting old when your semi-annual erection becomes an annual semi-erection!

- You and your teeth don't sleep together.

- Your back goes out, but you stay home.

- You wake up, looking like your driver's license picture.

- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

- Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

- Happy hour is a nap.

- When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure that the street is still there.

- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

- Your memory is shorter and your complaining is longer.

- The pharmacist has become you new best friend.

- It takes twice as long to look half as good.

- The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.

- You look for your glasses for a half an hour, and then find that they were on your head all the time.

- You get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.

- You give up all your bad habits and you still don't feel good.

- You have more patience; but actually, it's just that you don't care any more.

- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

- You confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.

- You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

- You don't know real embarrassment until your hip sets off a metal detector.

- Let's face it, traveling just isn't as much fun when all the historical sites are younger than you are.

- Every time you suck in your gut, your ankles swell.

- You're suffering from Mallzheimer's disease. You go to the mall and forget where I parked my car.

- Age always corresponds inversely to the size of your multi-vitamin.

- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

- It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

- If you've never smoked, you can start now and it won't have time to hurt you.

- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

- Your eyes won't get much worse.

- Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.

- Things you buy now won't wear out.

- No one expects you to run into a burning building.

- There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

- Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

- You're sitting on a park bench, and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

- You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of campers form a circle and start singing "Kumbaya."

- Someone compliments you on your layered look.... and you're wearing a bikini.

- You start video taping daytime game shows.

- You wonder why you waited so long to take up macramé.

- At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.

- Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

- Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."

- It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

- You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.

- You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.

- You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."

- You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

- You look both ways before crossing a room.

- You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.

- You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.

- You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.

- Your childhood toys are now in a museum.

- Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.

- The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style.

- All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.

- The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.

- You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

- Your back goes out more than you do.

- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

- You are proud of your lawn mower.

- Your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws.

- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

- You sing along with the elevator music.

- You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

- Neighbors borrow your tools.

- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

- You have a dream about prunes.

- You send money to PBS.

- The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

- You take a metal detector to the beach.

- You wear black socks with sandals.

- You know what the word "equity" means.

- You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

- Your ears are hairier than your head.

- You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

- You got cable for the weather channel.

- You can go bowling without drinking.

- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

- Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.

- Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.

- Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.

- Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.

- You look forward to a dull evening.

- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

- You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

- You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.

- You don't remember when your wild oats turned to prunes and all bran.

- You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.

- You don't remember being absent minded.

- "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative.

- Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

- Tying one on means fastening your Medic Alert bracelet.

Inside every older person
is a younger person
wondering what the hell happened!:eek:

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!:D
 
I am going to send this to a few friends!
 
Happy Birthday to you all!
 
thanks for the laugh-I passed it on to a few friends.

Ann
 
Thanks so much for the laugh! I needed that today!
 

Related to What Do Birthday Candles & Your Spouse Have in Common?

1. What is the connection between birthday candles and your spouse?

The connection between birthday candles and your spouse is that they both symbolize the light and warmth that your significant other brings into your life. Just as birthday candles are blown out to make a wish for the coming year, your spouse is there to support and help you achieve your goals and dreams.

2. Why do people say that birthday candles and your spouse have something in common?

People say that birthday candles and your spouse have something in common because they both represent celebration, love, and positivity. Both bring joy and happiness into your life and remind you to appreciate the little things.

3. How can you incorporate birthday candles and your spouse into a special occasion?

You can incorporate birthday candles and your spouse into a special occasion by having your spouse light the candles on your birthday cake and making a wish together. You can also have your spouse help you blow out the candles, symbolizing their support and love for you.

4. What is the significance of birthday candles and your spouse in a relationship?

The significance of birthday candles and your spouse in a relationship is that they both represent a source of light and love. Just as birthday candles bring light and warmth to a room, your spouse brings light and love into your life, making your relationship stronger and more meaningful.

5. How can I make my spouse feel special like birthday candles do on my birthday?

You can make your spouse feel special like birthday candles do on your birthday by showing them love and appreciation every day. Just as birthday candles are the centerpiece of a birthday celebration, make your spouse the centerpiece of your relationship and show them love and gratitude for all that they do for you.

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