Time Out for 13 Yr. Ds....it Works!

[KellyTheChef]

My DS is 13 and is a typical boy. Listens like a brick wall sometimes...and there are tons of things that I feel like I repeat almost daily, rules that he "knows" but doesn't always "remember" KWIM?

Well today, he is supposed to be doing his homework and chores and instead is downstairs playing with the dog. What tips me off to this? I can HEAR one of Evan's (DS, 3) toys rattling cuz he is playing tug of war with the dog with it! (This is one of those things that we go round and round on...he lets the dog chew and bite on his socks, his comfortor, toys of Evans...you name it. I keep telling him that he is TEACHING her to chew on these things when he encourages her to do it.)

Instead of going down there and saying "why aren't you doing your homework, or why are you playing with the dog with one of Evan's toys" I just calmly went down there and said that he was to go to time out for 15 minutes. I said go sit on your bed and do NOTHING but think about how you are supposed to be acting. No reading. No games. Nothing but sitting there alone looking at the wall till I come and get you.

It worked!

I went in his room and sat on his bed after the timer went off. I said (just like I say to Evan!!) "Why did you have to come to time out?" He knew and told me...and get this...then he said he was sorry!! I gave him a hug and a kiss and told him I loved him. (Just like with Evan...) I said that I am not going to remind him 100 times about these things that he knows. He will just calmly get sent to his room like I did today.

Yea SuperNanny!! Thanks for helping me with the "tools" to raise all of my kids!

Now...can I put DH in time out!!??

 

[MORFIA]

let me know if that works too!

 

[StacieB]

Glad that it worked!!!

 

[wadesgirl]

You mean it may work on husbands too!

 

[pamperedbecky]

That's great! I wish it would work that well with my 3 year old DD!!

 

[susanr613]

glad it worked for you....my 11 year old ds is currently trying to get away with as little as possible effort in school. his teacher is burned out and ready to retire, so she's not much help other than telling us (when we ask) when he's messing around. he doesnt yet get the concept that you can't just BE smart, you have to prove it through effort, focus, etc.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

You mean it may work on husbands too!

To quote Dr. Phil, "How's that workin' for you?"

 

[KellyTheChef]

glad it worked for you....my 11 year old ds is currently trying to get away with as little as possible effort in school. his teacher is burned out and ready to retire, so she's not much help other than telling us (when we ask) when he's messing around. he doesnt yet get the concept that you can't just BE smart, you have to prove it through effort, focus, etc.

Susan~

Can you set some goals for him? (DS has to read 30 minutes a day, must have his planner filled out, etc.)

Another nice thing is that his teachers email their weekly schedule. I try not to "babysit" DS, but if I know he has a test the next day and he hasn't studied for it, I will make him get out his planner and double check what he needs to be doing that evening.

If he doesn't do these things, he loses his computer (his #1 thing to do...)

Good luck...it is hard to motivate them. I was always "self motivated" to do well in school, so it's difficult to understand my kids when they aren't like that!!

 

[wadesgirl]

To quote Dr. Phil, "How's that workin' for you?"

Dr. Phil cracks me up, I can totally hear him saying that. I don't get to watch his show much but caught the end of it the other day.