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Tequila Christmas Cookies Recipe: A Holiday Humor Treat!

In summary, Tequila Christmas Cookies are a delicious way to celebrate the season. First, you need to check the quality of the Tequila. Then, you need to mix together the ingredients. Next, you need to turn on the electric mixer. Next, you need to beat the butter and sugar together. Next, you need to add the eggs and nuts. Finally, you need to mix in the dried fruit. Finally, you need to bake the cookies.
heat123
Silver Member
6,977
Tequila Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
 
Oh My GOODNESS! I read this over the phone to my daughter... we are both in tears! Thanks for the laugh!
 
I have seen something like this with Jack Daniels substituted. Basically the same results!
 
My Granddad used to send this as his Holiday Christmas card YEARS ago...no kidding...but it was "How to make a Holiday Turkey" using Whiskey...funniest thing I have ever read!!

How to Cook a Holiday Turkey

Step 1: Go buy a turkey

Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch)

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Step 7: Turn oven the on

Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky

Step 9: Turk the bastey

Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer

Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey

Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours

Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick

Step 17: Turk the carvey

Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch

Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey

Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out
 
  • Thread starter
  • #5
TOO funny!
 
heat123 said:
Tequila Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.


Maybe it's because it past my bedtime and its Friday but I just had a belly-aching laugh over this! Tears in my eyes! Seriously, the hardest I've laughed in a long while and now I will email this to my friends(if you don't mind!) Thanks for the laugh...it felt good!
Becky
 
  • Thread starter
  • #7
of course you should share it with friends, let them get a kick out of it they way we did!! :eek:)
 
Both are way too funny. I laughed so hard that now my body aches. I tried reading it to my husband but I couldn't get through it without laughin. Thanks for the laugh gals.
 
hee hee love the turkey and cookie recipies! toooo funny!!!

Cheers
 

1. What ingredients do I need to make Tequila Christmas Cookies?

To make Tequila Christmas Cookies, you will need:

  • 1 cup of butter
  • 1 cup of white sugar
  • 1 cup of brown sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon of baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon of salt
  • 3 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup of chopped pecans
  • 1 cup of tequila
  • 1 additional cup of white sugar (for rolling the cookies in)

2. Can I use any type of tequila for this recipe?

Yes, you can use any type of tequila for this recipe. However, for the best flavor, we recommend using a high-quality tequila that you would enjoy drinking on its own.

3. How many cookies does this recipe make?

This recipe makes approximately 3 dozen cookies, depending on the size of your cookie dough balls.

4. Do I have to roll the cookies in sugar before baking?

While rolling the cookies in sugar is not necessary, it adds a nice crunch and sweetness to the cookies. If you prefer, you can skip this step and simply place the cookie dough balls on the baking sheet.

5. Can I omit the pecans for a nut-free version?

Yes, you can omit the pecans for a nut-free version of these cookies. You can also substitute them with another type of nut, such as walnuts or almonds, if desired.

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