Rant: Being Pressured (Warning Long)

[Rosebud]

Sorry this is so long but i need to vent badly!
Ok I started PC back in Feb and Did well right from the start was in my clusters top 5 in sales every month and my Advanced Director calls me her golden child. I jumped through every hoop, even went to spring launch and director express. I knew from the get go I wanted to go to National Conference.

Then my lull hit and a lot of stressors have come up in my home and day job life. I told my AD that I wasn't sure that I would be able to go seeing as the plane ticket prices never came down as low and she had predicted and a lot of stuff came up a home. She kept telling me I had to go because it would help my business so much. I told her it wasn't a matter of my wanting to go but just financially not sure we could do it. She even called me out at our last cluster meeting saying we'd work it out and that I was going. I was pretty upset after wards feeling like a child being told what to do. I talked it over with my husband and he supported me either way. I decided that I would put the hotel and plane tickets on my credit card (debt which I had just paid off) because I wanted to re-light my fire for PC and get going on my business. But the plane tickets kept getting more and more expensive and things keep coming up in my home life. So after a long conversation with my AD about cost of going and discussing it all with my husband I called and left my AD a voicemail that I just wasn't going to be able to pull it off and I was really sorry but I would do conference club and go next year.

Then I get home and I find a 5 minute voicemail on my phone with her pleading almost demanding that I go because if I back out it's gonna cost her and a clustermate $200 more for them to go and she just can't afford it she "has" to go and she already can't afford to go that her fiances are worse then mine and if I'm getting PTO then I have no excuse to not go because it's more then she's getting. Then she says she doesn't want to guilt me but proceeds to say how she really can't afford to go but she's gonna make it work either way but that my not going is really gonna hurt her.

I had to hang the phone up halfway through and make my hubby listen to it because I was just fuming. I feel like a line was really crossed here and that I shouldn't have to put myself into debt to help her out and it's her choice if she wants to go she doesn't "have" to go like she keeps saying and I shouldn't be pressured into going! I'm so freaking livid right now that I just wanna call it quits with PC altogether. http://www.chefsuccess.com/images/smilies/mad.gif

 

[pampchefsarah]

Um, WOW!! That's about all I can say. You would definitely benefit by going, but if you can't afford it, you can have a very successful business without attending NC. So, basically, this is all about HER, and how you not being there to split the costs affects her budget. Yep, that would make me pull out the old credit card and happily go into debt on her behalf.

I'm really sorry she put this on your shoulders. I'm sure if she wasn't feeling a financial crunch, she wouldn't dream of saying these things to you. Stress can bring out the worst of us. If, however, your final decision is to not go based on YOUR OWN needs, then I think you're making the right choice. I hope there is some way you can join us - but, for your benefit alone, not for anyone else - except the chance for us to meet you in person.

 

[pcsharon1]

Do not let someone else keep you from doing a business that you love. You should not feel bad about not being able to go to conference because of finances. There are a lot of people in the same boat, I'm sure - in fact, I'm one of them. It doesn't always work out for people to attend for a lot of reasons and no one should make you feel bad for that.

As for paying extra for the room - your clustermates can more than likely find someone looking for a room to share. That's what I did last year. I roomed with three women I had never even met and we all made it work and it was fine. As time gets closer, there will be people who decide to go at the last minute and will be more than happy to share that room with them.

I'm so sorry you were made to feel that way. Hopefully you will be able to speak with her - maybe after conference is over and the situation isn't as tense - and work things out so that you are still able to have a comfortable working relationship. In the meantime if she calls again, just let her know definatively what you have decided as far as attending conference and that no further discussion is necessary.

 

[etteluap70PC]

I see it from both sides... I had a gal on my team back out the same day I made non refundable hotel reservations (3-4 weeks after she had registered for NC). I planned and figured every scenario, worked on it for over a week trying to have the best experience for the best value. Now it is going to cost myself and another team mate an extra 100+ each. We are driving (an 8 hour drive) and staying in a non conf hotel. Because this person backed out it will cost the same as if we had chosen to fly (less than half the travel time) and stayed at a 4 star (vs. 2 star) hotel. I am a Team leader with 4 on my team (only 1 is consistent) and I have had my own struggles with booking and sales lately. Also my DH is out of work so this affects my family budget. I also understand money being tight and family obligations. That being said... she should not be making you feel bad. It is your business, life, family. Do what is best for you. I did tell my team member I was disappointed but that we would make it work.

 

[ChefKelebel]

OMG!!! That's all I have to say. First of all, anyone who is in a position of direction/training/managing...whatever role you want to call it, should never, ever push their own agenda on someone else and guilt them into doing something (especially monetarily) that is really only for their own benefit. It's like saying, "Oh my, I can't believe your not willing to spend $1000 so I can save $200!!!"
For crying in the sink, book more of your own shows to give yourself a raise to pay for the extra expenses, don't guilt someone you're supposed to be mentoring (AND making commission off of through downline sales, by the way!) to do this! BTW (again)...she doesn't HAVE to go, she wants to go.
Bottom line, do what's best for you and your family. She needs to get over it!!!! (OK, now I'm done venting)

 

[Rosebud]

Thank you for understanding! I am just seriously feeling sick of being pushed around. I told her almost 2 months ago that I was not sure if I could afford it so she had plenty of heads up but she kept promising that plane tickets would go under 300 close to 250 and I was kinda counting on that now them being over 400 it's just too much. So it's not like I backed out at the last minute I kept voicing my concerns from the get go but she just wouldn't hear it and kept pushing for me to just work it out put it on my CC or work extra shows...It's just not that easy. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Becca_in_MD]

She doesn't HAVE to go. No one does and certainly not you this year. Think about many people are in her downline and how few are going. It took me a long time to commit to going this year after having gone for several years in a row. I heard that my upline was considering not going this year, too, even at the ED level. The extra hotel night and meals is really wreaking havoc with people's budgets plus the longer time away from home. Sure, it can be a great boost to your business but it's not the end of the world - or your business - if you don't go.

Remember that this biz is flexible. So you have a lot going on right now with other parts of your life, that's why PC is so great. You ride through the lull and rev it up if and when you want to.

If you like to confront people, let her know by voicemail, in person, e-mail, whatever that you don't appreciate the pressure and maybe she should seriously reconsider going since you can't find it in writing anywhere that she has to go. Or, the approach I would take is to have a lot less contact with her until it passes.

 

[Rosebud]

Well she sent me an apology email (crappy one at that) and I basically emailed her back and just let her have it (nicely) that she has over stepped a line and I don't appreciate the pressure blah blah blah. *sigh* all this drama has just sucked the fun out of PC for me at the moment.

 

[bridedream]

Sometimes people just hear what they want to hear. It sounds like that is the case with your AD. Her actions were very unprofessional, though.Believe me, with very minimal effort, she could find a consultant to take your place at the hotel and bring her costs down. So, don't feel guilty!

 

[AJPratt]

I agree with the others. We are in this business for ourselves. No one should try to guilt you into doing anything, much less an expense/investment like NC. For me, including meals (nothing fancy, btw), lodging, conf. fees, and travel, it costs me easily $700. And this year, it just wasn't going to happen. I hoped things would be better for us, but just not yet. I think next year will be better. Don't quit overt this... but feel free to vent anytime!

 

[BlueMoon]

Lots of good advice from everyone. You made a decision, stick to it.And remember this with your own recruits. This is a real obvious horror story, but it is so easy to fall into focusing on scarcity, as your AD has done, and start pressuring people to be active so we can achieve our goals.Fine line between coaching and pressure, but she has gone Waaaaaaaay over the lineMarghi

 

[wadesgirl]

She still has plenty of time to find someone to fill the spot in the room! I can see that she knows it would help your business alot but this kind of pressure is uncalled for!

 

[BethCooks4U]

Just like we need to make booking and recruiting about the other person and how they can benefit, a director needs to be thinking about how things benefit their downline. That attitude will get a director much farther than worrying about their own agenda. Of course a director should urge the team to attend conference. We know it will change their businesses but to talk about how it "hurts" her if you don't go is just wrong. Sorry you have to go through that stress.

 

[raebates]

I'm so sorry. This should never happen. It's so easy for us to get so focused on our own agendas that we get panicky when something threatens it. However, that's no reason to pressure you. I hope you won't let this sour you on PC. Try to remember how great it felt before. Life happens to us all. When things settle down I know you'll be able to get going again.

 

[gailz2]

Well she sent me an apology email (crappy one at that) and I basically emailed her back and just let her have it (nicely) that she has over stepped a line and I don't appreciate the pressure blah blah blah. *sigh* all this drama has just sucked the fun out of PC for me at the moment.

I do not like being pressured, either. Don't let her "suck the fun out of PC" for you--just keep on working your business the way you want, whether you attend or not. I have been with PC for over 3 years and have yet to go to NC. I'm doing fine. Some people really "need" the extra motivation, and I'm sure it is a lot of fun. I have just not been able to justify the extra expense for myself.

If you don't go, try to have a really nice show booked that week to make you feel better. Hang in there, selling PC is so easy and so much fun, I absolutely LOVE it!!

:chef:

 

[ShellBeach]

Wow. If you never committed to going, that is WAY out of line.

I shouldn't have to put myself into debt to help her out

Hope you told her that! Start having fun with PC again - at your own pace.

 

[Citchen Couture]

Good Morning All!

I am SO VERY new at PC, being a Consultant for less than a month. I'm just worried, because I was led to believe that this is "our business" - that we work for ourselves. I don't do well when being pushes and prodded. I resist any type of pressure, which is (one of the reasons) why I opted for PC instead of Mary Kay.

I hope this is an isolated case. My Team Leader and Director have both been wonderful! Being a Pampered Chef Consultant is a second (part time) job for me. I have owed and operated a childcare/nursery since 1997. Although I am state licensed, again - it is my business - I'm my own boss!

I'm so sorry to hear that you were given such a hard time. This economy is causing folks to behave out of character. Perhaps she was having a bad week. My childcare enrollment is down by more than half, with clients getting laid-off or being placed part-time status. So I can sympathize with the stress of this recession.

When I think people are being rude, demanding, bossy and just plain impolite I KILL them with KINDNESS!

It sounds as if you enjoyed your PC business and it really sounds like you are good at it. Let this be HER problem and not yours. Pray for her, that whatever trials she may be dealing with, will pass soon.

Gillain ♥

 

[Rosebud]

Gillian I'm pretty confident this is a fairly isolated case. Honestly it was a mixture of my AD wanting me to better my career and help her cut the cost for herself. I think in the long run she meant well but came across in a way that stepped over a line in my opinion. She and I are working on repairing the friendship we shared before this incident and I believe with some time on my part to calm down and get through the issues in my home life that things will go back to the way they once were and I will start letting my PC business thrive again.In the meantime it was nice to be able to vent and feel so much support from everyone on here! Thank you all!

 

[raebates]

Gillian, as in any business there are good "bosses" and bad "bosses." I've heard other stories of pressure from uplines, but they're few and far between. You're most certainly right--this is your business. As long as you stay within the official guidelines you can do whatever makes you happy.

 

[smart2cook]

Hugs Rosebud, I am so sorry this happened to you! My goodness, I would hope that given the circumstances, your AD is feeling pretty bad about her behavior-after all-this is YOUR BUSINESS. You are doing wonderfully and please don't allow someone else to decide your future no matter what!

 

[pampered1224]

I too am horrified that this happened to you Kelly. If your AD is that concerned about getting financial help and another room mate, tell her you will personally post out here to find her someone to share a room. Problem solved as I am sure too that someone out here will need a room. If she is having money problems of her own, she should surely understand where you are coming from. Not only that, there were major signs that a lot of consultants would NOT be attending this year. Even HO figured it out! Why does she think we have ONE 4 day event instead of 3 3 day events? Because even PC could NOT AFFORD TO RENT McCormick for all that time! DUH! And we just got another sign that attendance will be down, the extension of the $200 registration until the 15th! Tells you a lot about who is going and not going don't it! So DO NOT FEEL EVEN REMOTELY BAD FOR HER AND DO NOT LET IT EFFECT YOUR BUSINESS!!! I figure maybe half of us are going and that is all. If I had to figure in travel expenses, there is no way I could go but I am only a two hour ride away so that really does not figure in. My expenses will be around $300, not $1000 so there is a big difference. I applaud you for sticking to your guns. This business is NOT supposed to hurt you but to help you. Gillian - this is isolated I can assure you. I have about 6 PC Mom's and I know they would accept it if I did NOT attend. They are all understanding and realize that for some people it just will not happen this year.

 

[Rosebud]

Thank you everyone I can't even begin to tell you how much your support means to me.

 

[lockhartkitchen]

So sorry to hear that Kelly. I registered for conference day 1, I'm the room leader who has reserved the room, but no air ticket yet. It has been expensive from Portland. A friend in the travel business said after June 15 it should go down. I don't like pressure either. We have to do what is good for us. I too, had to back out because of finances last year. With an unexpected move costing more than $3000, I couldn't go. Yes, it leaves the room cost a bit more, but your director should not blame you. Keep your spirits up. We're here for you!

 

[Dina Atnip]

Lots of hugs but I believe no one has the right to make you do anything you do not want to or can not see right for you and your family right now I would be livid but I would tell her to back off.

 

[BethCooks4U]

So sorry to hear that Kelly. I registered for conference day 1, I'm the room leader who has reserved the room, but no air ticket yet. It has been expensive from Portland. A friend in the travel business said after June 15 it should go down. I don't like pressure either. We have to do what is good for us. I too, had to back out because of finances last year. With an unexpected move costing more than $3000, I couldn't go. Yes, it leaves the room cost a bit more, but your director should not blame you. Keep your spirits up. We're here for you!

Ouch. The last day to cancel a room is June 15th. I hope it all works out for you!

 

[BlueMoon]

one of the cool things about reading this thread (for a new person) is realizing that this must be very unusual behavior or every one wouldn't be reacting with such horror.

If you like PC, the real tragedy would be if you let this turn you off to PC.

It would be great if you and she could come to some kind of peace in the future, but the reality is you can run your business with out her. There is so much support and help here for you, and you have already proved your talent to yourself before life interrupted. And I am sure there are others in your group who would be supportive when you are ready to go full speed ahead again.

You say at the time you posted you felt ready to just quit PC. I hope you can get past that feeling. Remember, she is not really part of your business. YOU and the great products and the great opportunity are your business.

Marghi

 

[RMDave]

As usual, well said Marghi!

 

[lockhartkitchen]

Ouch. The last day to cancel a room is June 15th. I hope it all works out for you!

Don't worry. I'm not cancelling. I'm just holding out for cheaper tickets. I can afford it. I just don't want to pay what they are now.

 

[Rosebud]

Thanks Julie, I hope it works out for you. Unfortunately I just can't wait until after June 15 since I have time off request in my work I just don't want to back out at the last minute. Plus I just have a lot of other things on my plate here at home, so I really just had to make the decision because my AD was wanting to book tickets this week at some point. Plus if I want my 200 back in PC dollars then I have to request the refund by June 15th so..all and all it was just a better choice to not go and pre-plan for next year. Marghi, yes at the time I was ready to let PC go but after calming down I think my AD and I might be able to patch things. She really is a great asset because she gets me into all the great fairs and home shows to pick up leads. I do really enjoy the cluster meetings as well even if they are 45 min away from me. But believe me if she pulls the same crap again I'm done with her. I've put my business on hold this month due to some family issues going on that are sucking up every last free minute but I know once I start up again next month I can defiantly do this w/o my AD if I felt I had to.I hope everyone going to NC has a fantastic time!! I can't wait to read everyone's post on what I missed! =-)

 

[lockhartkitchen]

Take care Kelly! We're here for you.