Preparing Toddlers for Your Absence: Tips and Advice from Experienced Parents

[Chef_2_Four]

what do you tell them? I have a 2yo and 1 yo. they will both have their birthdays in may. anyway, they are both all about mommy and my dh is worried about how they will be. anyone else have words of wisdom about telling two toddlers you're leaving them for a few days?

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Last yr., my son was 2, and I was so worried about how he would do w/o me - I'm a SAHM, and I thought for sure he would be inconsolable if I wasn' there - The reality was that he had a great time with Mimi (my mom), Hannah (babysitter), and Daddy. He wimpered a little the first morning when he woke up and I wasn't there, but other than that he was fine! When I got home, he was in the backyard, busy helping daddy build a Jungle Gym, and barely even gave me the time of day! The whole experience was alot harder on me than it was on him - I worried about how he was doing the whole time I was gone.
If you aren't sure how to explain it to toddlers - the biggest thing to remember is that they have no sense of time - 2 days or 5 minutes, they don't know wha that really means. I just said "mommy is going to be gone for a while, and Mimi will be here when you wake up in the morning. I'll call and talk to you on the phone. I love you and be a good boy for Mimi and Daddy."

HTH!

 

[Chef Kearns]

it can't be said better than that!!

Just think of it in the scheme of things. Your oldest is 2 years old that's 730 days you'll only miss 3 or 4 days. It's not really a big deal.

 

[PampMomof3]

My children are 2, 4 and 6 and my dh and I went on a 5 day cruise. It was a lot tougher on me than it was on them but I know that I was going to be a better mother for going. I never get a break and sure did deserve one! Also, when I went to conference, my children were 1,3 & 5 and my 2 little ones really made it rough on me but it's really good for them to get a break from you too. If they have mommy around ALL the time, they'll never want to sleep over anyone else's house or go anywhere with anyone except for YOU! I think its great that you're getting away!!!

 

[dannyzmom]

My children are 2, 4 and 6 and my dh and I went on a 5 day cruise. It was a lot tougher on me than it was on them but I know that I was going to be a better mother for going. I never get a break and sure did deserve one! Also, when I went to conference, my children were 1,3 & 5 and my 2 little ones really made it rough on me but it's really good for them to get a break from you too. If they have mommy around ALL the time, they'll never want to sleep over anyone else's house or go anywhere with anyone except for YOU! I think its great that you're getting away!!!

Yep - it's always hardest on Mommy. When my older son (now 8) was 3, ex-DH and I went on a cruise. I was a wreck the whole time but my son had a blast all week with my parents. Now that we're divorced (and have been since the kids were 15months and 4yrs) the kids do great when they're at Dad's and are apart from me and great when they are with me and apart from Dad. Kids adjust amazingly well.

 

[lacychef]

I agree with the other girls....my girls like to make me feel bad, but they always have a blast with their dad & baby sitter. Last year I bought them each a new coloring book, and a couple other small activities, and left them in a sack in the living room when I left. Then when they got up, they had some new things to keep them busy. Of course they got some new souveniers when I came home too I also call each night while gone to tell them good night; that seems to help talking to them each day.

 

[PampMomof3]

Great Idea Lacy! I think I'm going to have to try that when we go to San Fran in a few weeks!!

 

[Teresa Lynn]

It's been awhile since mine were little, oldest turns 19 today!!
But, when DH & I would go to conference the kids would stay at my parents in Iowa. (they would do day trips to my in laws 7 miles away but never sleptd there & my mom stayed too so they didn't have a feeling of being shuffled or stranded)
Each morning and evening they each had a little something to unwrap (back in the day when it was cassettte tapes or tapes for the vcr)
they always had so much fun & still talk abou the summers on grandpa and granny's farm. They always looked forward to the tshirts, souvenirs & toys from the museums.
We made a little hug, hug, kiss card lots os stickers (we had this H, H, K routine (hug on each side and a kiss) everytime I left them in the nursery or in their SS classroom the ONLY time they were ever away from me)
When they visited my parents they started out with however many nights we were gone. Each night they took one away and they knew how many nights left until they would get their hug, hug Kiss!
I think a time frame is important that they know when you are returning, maybe x on the calendar, etc.

 

[DebbieJ]

Yes, it's always hardest for US. It's a big hurdle to get over, but it feels SOOOO good to be able to leave them.

My first conference I communted back and forth to Mc Cormick every day b/c I signed up last minute (I live in Chicago). DS was fine with Auntie Katie and Daddy.

But after that experience, I felt greater freedom to leave him with a babysitter, leave him overnight with grandma, etc. It was very freeing for ME.

I like the idea of little gifts for them and of course souveneirs. Now I have to go put something together for San Fran...

 

[crystalscookingnow]

I agree with everyone else! Last conference, I had a 6 mo. old, almost two & 4 1/2 yo. They did great. They were excited to go play at the sitters house during the day & daddy had fun with them at night.

This year, my 5 yo will be with her dad at Disney, so I'm sure that she won't miss me! The other two will hang out with grandma & the sitter & daddy & have a ball.

No worries for the kiddos - I do like the idea of little gifts for them though. Although crayons not such a good idea for a 1 yo.... IMHO.

 

[mommyhugz1978]

Ihave a 5 year old ( she will be 6 in June) she and my Dh spent the week together and had daddy daughter time.. I called one time to say hi and stuff.. and Makayla wouldn't talk to me..becasue she was busy with her daddy..... I missed them lots...never been away from my daughter that long before...but it was great.... when I got home she was all hugs and kisses for her mommy!!!

 

[ivykeep]

I'm actually bringing my daughter (and husband as babysitter) with me because we are still breastfeeding and plan to continue to do so and DH wanted to go to Chicago, so we are doing the family thing -- at this point she mostly breastfeeds first thing in the morning and at night (she will happily take breastmilk throughout the day, but doesn't seem to miss it if we are too busy to breastfeed), but will NOT go to sleep without nursing (some of my evening shows have been a problem for DH since she will not take formula -- gags on it -- and won't go down without me. I got home after midnight one show and she was up waiting for me, but the moment she latched on she was out. Soooo, the only way I could go to conference was to bring her with me.

However, when I was little my parents made several Marriage Encounter Weekends where we stayed with other families (hated some of their rules, one family wouldn't let me leave the table until I ate what they gave me to eat, even though my mom had told them I wouldn't eat oatmeal and was allergic to raspberries and they insisted I eat oatmeal with raspberries in it -- they served me the same bowl for breakfast, lunch and dinner and I NEVER wanted to see them again), but my parents left us little presents to open each day -- nothing big or expensive, but a book or a pack of paper dolls or a matchbox car for my brother.

 

[DebbieSAChef]

All about mommyI know my youngest who is 16 months is all about mommy. He follows me everywhere and if anyone comes near us he runs to my legs and grabs hold tight. Even with grandma and grandpa. It takes him a while to warm up but as long as they are familiar faces he starts to get comfortable and before I know it he is playing and forgets all about me.

I think as long as daddy, grandma, grandpa or familiar faces come around when you are gone, your kiddos will be fine! They will miss you and occasionally something will remind them that you are not there but my husband stays with the kids when I do shows, go shopping or go to a ladies night out with my homeschool group moms or my cluster meeting and the kids are fine. Especially when siblings have each other. Keeping them busy with games, videos, and toys will make it easier too.

Debbie

 

[PChef_ang]

I have 4 kids....13, 8, 6 and 2. I have gotten to the point where i know they will be fine. Kids are pretty tough and usually handle short trips away pretty well. My crew, at least the older ones, like it when I go away, I always bring them back a little gift, nothing big, but just something from where I was!

 

[4kids4me]

Another idea would be to make a paper chain for them to count down how many days til you're home. gives them something tangible to relate to the passage of time. On the inside of each chain you could write them a little lovey note or something, or a piece of candy or a small gift or something like that. Mine are 5, 3, and 1 and 1 and I have a hard time just leaving to go out to dinner, lol! Maybe next year I"ll be traveling with PC! (I just signed in Feb!!!) Good luck, I'm sure you'll ALL be fine.