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Unexpected Divorce: Dealing with Life Changing Decisions

I'm sorry to hear that he was disrespectful and that he took your lawyer's time to do that. That was not necessary.
momoftwins
momoftwins
1,107
I want to first apologize for not being on here much anymore. I really need to get into my PC business again!

My husband was in the psych ward from Nov 18th until December 7th. Well Dec 1st we had a meeting with his psych (at that time) and he stated that my husband was not in his right mind to be making any life changing decisions. He had been mentioning divorce every other day while he was in the hospital. Two days prior to going into the hospital he mentioned going to marriage counseling. I found out that a few days prior to my husband checking himself out of the psych ward against medical advice he switched psychs.

Well on Dec 31st he went to see an attorney and signed the content for dissolution of marriage on January 6th.

Things are ugly - I am a stay at home mom to b/g twins and my husband who has never cared to spend time with the twins wants to have primary custody. It is insane! We are still living in the same house and even sleeping in the same bed (our spare bedroom has a normal waterbed and it kills my back so I refuse to sleep in there). UGH!!!
 
Wow...so sorry that you're going through this, Sharisse. I wish you all the best for you and your children, and I will pray for all of you, including your husband. May God grant the understanding he needs to see that he is not making the best decisions for his family, and may God give you the strength to get through this difficult time.
 
Sending prayers sweetheart
 
Prayers said. Please tell me you have someone to talk to--a pastor, a counselor, someone.
 
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  • #5
Rae - I do have someone to talk to. I was seeing a counselor and need to get together with another one soon. I also have been talking to a few friends that are also going through a divorce right now or have just recently. It is just awful!
 
I will be praying that God's will be done. Glad to know that you have someone to talk with.
 
Oh Sharisse...I wasn't gathering that much info from. FB! You and the little ones are in my prayers. HUGS!
 
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  • #8
Christy - I can't really put a lot out there on FB as I have a lot of people that he works with as friends. With you and I being country fans - I have that darn song stuck in my head "I'm going through the "Big D" and don't mean Dallas" except I have changed a few of the words.

"I'm going through the big d and don't mean Dallas - I can't wait for what the judge has to tell us - he got the stang, I got the twang - I mean twins, alimony and cs every month"

Ok well it doesn't fit well but you get the picture! Just taking things one day at a time - I was just given the 35 page document that is discovery questions that I have to complete in 30 days. I so can't wait until he gets his!!!
 
I'm glad to hear that you've got good counsel. I went through a fairly amicable divorce. I know that even then I had a lot of stuff to work through, and we had no children.
 
  • #10
My prayers are with you. So sorry to hear it is going so rough for you!
 
  • #11
Sending prayers for you and your children.
 
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  • #12
Oh and Friday night when he got home he had gotten the discovery questions from my attorney through his attorney and his comment was: " oh here is the BS paperwork we now have to fill out all because you would not roll with me and use the same attorney". Seriously?? WTF!!!
 

What are some tips for coping with the unexpected divorce?

1. Seek support from friends and family: It's important to have a support system during this difficult time. Surround yourself with loved ones who can provide comfort and guidance.

2. Seek professional help: Divorce can be emotionally and mentally taxing. Consider seeking therapy or counseling to help you work through your feelings and make decisions.

3. Take care of yourself: It's easy to neglect self-care during a divorce, but it's crucial to take care of your physical and mental health. Make sure to eat well, exercise, and get enough rest.

4. Focus on the present: It's natural to dwell on the past or worry about the future during a divorce, but try to focus on the present moment. Take things one day at a time.

5. Consider your options: Dealing with the aftermath of an unexpected divorce may involve big decisions such as selling a house or changing jobs. Take time to weigh your options and make informed decisions that are best for you.

How can I handle the financial impact of an unexpected divorce?

1. Assess your financial situation: Take a look at your income, expenses, and assets to get a clear understanding of your financial standing.

2. Seek financial advice: Consider consulting with a financial advisor or accountant to help you navigate the financial implications of divorce.

3. Create a budget: Develop a budget to help you manage your expenses and adjust to any changes in income or assets.

4. Consider mediation: If possible, try to negotiate a settlement with your ex-spouse through mediation instead of going to court. This can save time and money in legal fees.

5. Be prepared for changes: Divorce often involves a significant change in financial circumstances. Be prepared to make adjustments and potentially downsize your lifestyle if necessary.

What are some important legal considerations I should be aware of during an unexpected divorce?

1. Know your rights: Familiarize yourself with the laws in your state regarding divorce, child custody, and division of assets.

2. Hire a lawyer: It's important to have a lawyer who can guide you through the legal process and protect your interests.

3. Keep communication civil: It's natural to have strong emotions during a divorce, but it's important to keep communication with your ex-spouse civil, especially if children are involved.

4. Be honest: It's important to be honest and transparent about all financial and legal matters during a divorce. This can help avoid legal complications in the future.

5. Consider the long-term implications: When making legal decisions, think about the long-term implications and how they may affect your future financial and personal well-being.

How can I manage co-parenting with my ex-spouse after an unexpected divorce?

1. Put your children first: Remember that your children's well-being should be the top priority. Keep them out of any conflicts or disagreements with your ex-spouse.

2. Communicate effectively: Keep communication with your ex-spouse focused on your children and their needs. Use a neutral tone and avoid discussing personal matters.

3. Be flexible: Co-parenting may require some adjustments and flexibility. Be open to compromise and respectful of your ex-spouse's schedule and responsibilities.

4. Establish boundaries: It's important to establish boundaries with your ex-spouse, especially if the divorce was unexpected. Respect each other's privacy and personal space.

5. Seek professional help: If co-parenting becomes difficult, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in co-parenting after divorce.

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