Need Some Advice and Prayers... Not Pampered Chef Related (Long)

[heather223]

The last few days have been very frustrating for me at home and not thanks to my husband either. We live with his mom (long story, but we moved in to help her save the house from Foreclosure and so we could save to get our own house) and I have realized that moving in with her was a big mistake. Last night I had to go to a PTA meeting for the school my son will be attending next school year. I am in charge of the PTA memebership and the President of PTA wanted me to attend. I thought it would be good for me to go and meet other moms so I have people to connect with and hopefully meet some children for my son to play with. So yesterday when I get home from work my mother in law asks me what my plans are for the night. I tell her I have the PTA meeting.... her response "Why are you doing that? Don't you think you waste enough of your time?" Umm ok, I didn't think doing something for my children was a waste of my time. ( I work full time, do Pampered Chef, go to school to get my teaching degree, and have 2 children) I always said I wanted to give my kids everything I never had as a child and my parents were never involved in school, we had to beg them to attend concerts that we were in, etc.

She couldn't just stop there she then made a comment about a Dave Ramsey book I had received in the mail. She asked me why I bought the book. My response was so that my husband and I could save money. She tells me well put it in the bank and stop buying books you don't need. At that point I walked away.

This is just a small portion of what she does to me. We have one more year in her house and then we are getting our own. I try so hard to keep my head up and my mouth shut but seriously I am at the breaking point. Please share some thoughts on how I can get through this. All prayers are welcome as well. TIA!

 

[wadesgirl]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I think DH needs to talk to his mom! Have you shared these feelings with him? I know it's a tough situation but holding onto your feelings will only make it worse in the long run.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Heather...

Sounds like she is not a very happy person and doesn't want anyone else around her being happy, or bettering themselves! You did good walking away! What does DH say about the things she does and says to you? I pray that God will give you wisdom in knowing what to say to her, and a calmness when you react to her....

 

[jesusluvsu2005]

Heather,
I don't know what is it about MIL's. Mine drives me nuts with comments about things. I don't have much advice for you because sometimes I have a difficult time with mine. But a big thing I have tried to do is just ignore her comments. I'm trying to get to a point where I realize that I can do nothing about her thoughts, comments, etc. She's going to continue whether I fight her on them or not. So just let them roll off your back. I know it's easier said than done. If you can rant here or to a friend about it though maybe that will help. Prayers headed your way!
God bless,
Amanda

 

[heather223]

Heather...

Sounds like she is not a very happy person and doesn't want anyone else around her being happy, or bettering themselves! You did good walking away! What does DH say about the things she does and says to you? I pray that God will give you wisdom in knowing what to say to her, and a calmness when you react to her....

Thanks Kelly. At first he didn't see it, but since we have started marriage counseling he has started to see it. He offers to talk to her for me, but I feel that sometimes it needs to come from me. I am just more of the type to blow up and not be calm. I am trying to basically "kill her with kindness" and not stoop to her level.

 

[wadesgirl]

Thanks Kelly. At first he didn't see it, but since we have started marriage counseling he has started to see it. He offers to talk to her for me, but I feel that sometimes it needs to come from me. I am just more of the type to blow up and not be calm. I am trying to basically "kill her with kindness" and not stoop to her level.

Then sit down together with her and let her know how you feel. With both of you there, she might not feel like you are just attacking her.

I don't know how close you are to your goal of getting a house but it might be something that you need to do sooner than later if you can or just find another place to live altogether right now. You don't want to risk your sanity over this woman.