Is the Bride Taking Over the Bridal Shower Planning?

[chefkathy]

I have a Bridal Shower scheduled for April 11th. So far I have been communicating with the bride, which I am uncomfortable with. I would rather talk to whoever is hosting the shower for her.

I sent her the shower invites, which she and her maid of honor mailed out. I mailed her a catalog and she emailed me her wish list, which I posted on my website with instructions for ordering.

Her shower is not until April, so we haven't talked much on the phone yet (we still have plenty of time) but I have been answering her questions via email. I am starting to get really annoyed.

I told her I would post her wish list on my website, then I sent her this email: If you go to my web page /jenningsdeb, you’ll see your wish list as item #3 under My News right there on the home page. Once you click on it, instructions for ordering and your whole list are there. Let me know if anything looks wrong. The formatting is not the greatest, but unfortunately I can’t fix it.

Then she sent me these two emails back. I haven't had a chance to respond to the first one yet and she's already sending me a second one.
#1:
The formatting is a bit difficult to work with and people might get frustrated on the web site. Is there anyway that you can let me know the total amount of the items, tax included, so that I can give my guests the wish list and then they can let me know what they want to order for us as well as what they want to order for themselves. Then I will have them give me a check payable to you and I will give you their order via mail if it is way before the party or give them to you at the party. Does this sound okay?

#2
I was also wondering about the shipping charges? Can't all the orders from the wish list be shipped to me at the same time from the party? I didn't know people would have to pay a shipping charge for the gifts I order at the shower. Maybe you told me but I'm confused. I'm also not very happy that the shipping says they just have to pay one shipping fee as long as it is shipped to my place. I don't want their orders shipped to me. I'm not going to want to track people down to give them their shipment. It's not very convenient for people to place orders along with what they are ordering off of my wish list because it seems as though they would have to enter in my address and theirs and pay two shipping costs. I am not liking this system. Most people like going to get registry items from a store so they don't have to pay shipping. What kind of deal can we work out with the shipping issue? I think I will just have guests give me checks for the total amount including tax and give it to you at the shower. Please send me the wish list with the total amount including tax for each product and I will give copies to my Mom, & Christi so they can give it to guests who can't come to the shower so I can just order it at the party. Is this the easiest, most cost effective way? Please read my message below too. Thank you!

How do I respond to her? This is ridiculous. I really need to get in touch with whoever is hosting this shower and get the bride OUT of this. Her job was to make a wish list and that's it. Our shipping charges are not out of line. Maybe I haven't fully explained to her how this works and I need to do that, but I prefer to deal with someone other than the bride. I know when my sister got too involved in the planning of her shower, I got very resentful and it was very hard to be happy for her.

Ideas??

 

[Koolotus]

((HUGS))
Have a glass of wine.










Sorry, I don't do wedding stuff for this reason...ick. I feel for you. xoxo

 

[icerneaccorie]

Just email her back and tell her taht your sure that she is very busy and that you want to help her anyway that you can, ask for maid of honor or hostess of the show and tell her that you two will take care of all the details so she won't have to worry aobut it. Let her know that you understand what she is saying and you will find a way that works bst for everyone.

 

[BethCooks4U]

First, I have been telling guests at ALL shows the following lately and since I started that I don't get any complaints about shipping:

"Our host gets free shipping of her order as one of her benefits for having the party but you guys get a real deal too! When I send out my host packets it's $4.95 for just 3 catalogs, some invitations and a few other pieces of paper but you can buy everything in the catalog for just $4.25 shipping to our host's home and if you want it shipped right to your home we can do that and if you ever buy on line you'll see that our rates are still good."


When it's a bridal shower:

"Our bride will get lots of free gifts because you ordered but she pays no shipping on those. You only pay $4.25 shipping on everything on your order so go ahead and buy for yourself or get other gifts that are going to be needed soon. (I also mention that their personal order adds to what the bride gets and therefore to the value of what they give her.) You know that if you had had to buy the gift before the party you would have had to drive to the store (gas and time) and the wrap the gift so that shipping is a real deal!"


I would tell her about this shower: The bride got $450 in gifts. Several people ordered for themselves on their orders and a few brought outside orders (the bride's mom went crazy with outside orders). The bride got over $600 value in free and discounted products as her host rewards so she got over $1000 in products from the shower.

I try to have the bridal showers shipped to me so I can sort the products for them. If I can't do that I strongly urge the bride to have them shipped to someone else (maid of honor, friend, relative) so they can take care of that detail.

Hope this helped.

 

[chefkathy]

She lives 45 mins away, otherwise I would have it shipped to me.

 

[chefkathy]

I finally summoned up the courage to call her and I got her machine. WAHHH!!!

 

[chefkathy]

She called me back this morning. For anyone who can't come, she is directing them to her online registry. I explained to her that she would then be accruing host benefits two different ways and she doesn't care. I suppose it doesn't matter to me either because they are all my sales.She is having a hard time with her maid of honor not doing anything, so she is totally stressed! We talked for a while, just letting her vent and reassuring her that I would help her take care of everything. I will probably receive the show shipment and sort it all out and deliver what I can, even though I live 45 mins away. Oh well, whatever makes her happy. She was worried about having to deliver personal orders to all the other people who don't live nearby to her, but I will probably handle most of that, too.Cheryl, now I know why you don't do bridal. LOL!