I Might Smother Dh in His Sleep

[Kitchen Diva]

Does anyone else deal with this problem? My DH snores like a 747 Airbus coming in for a landing-and it feels like I'm laying under the plane as it flies just feet over my body...

It's so bad that we haven't slept together much over the past 5 years, and rarely have slept an entire week together in the 12 years we've been together. He's already had one surgery- where they removed his uvula, and roto-rootered his nose, but needless to say, that only lasted a few months and he was back to sounding like a foghorn calling ships in from the sea.

I'm in such a pissy mood right now I could scream. We are on vacation and I'm tired of drugging myself into oblivion just so I can try and fall asleep before he does (he can fall asleep within 5 minutes of putting his head on his pillow. I on the other hand can be drugged on 2 vicodin, and 2 over the counter sleeping pills PLUS my progesterone and STILL not be able to sleep through his snoring, and most nights I can't even fall asleep even though I'm so dizzy and loopy from all the meds, he's just too loud to fall asleep... I find myself plotting ways to end his life because I'm sick and tired of being tired and I'm tired of not being able to sleep together.

I've prayed over him, claimed healing, praised God for said healing even before any results had manifested, I've begged God for the snoring to stop, prayed that God would strike me into a coma so I could fall asleep right away and not hear his snoring and not wake up 42 times per night to his roaring snores, and I've gotten nothing!

SO here I sit at 2 am, wide awake, and I've already taken my limit of sleeping pills, progesterone, and back medicine...if I take anymore they'll have to pump my stomach. I even tried sleeping in the bathroom on my lawn chair/beach chair and that didn't work. It got so hot in there, and I could still hear his snoring by the way, that I came out here to get online because I can't sleep.

We are supposed to see his daughter tomorrow and her new son, and all I want to do is have him drop me off at the hotel we'll be staying at so I can sleep, but if I do that I'll be wide awake later that night when he's fast asleep.

Thanks for thinking about me, but no- Breathright strips, and snoring mouthwashes, pills and sprays DO NOT WORK...the only thing that would work is to smother him in his sleep.

I have the air on high, and even that isn't drowning out his snoring. I'm tempted to go to the car, but he'd get ticked if I did that.

I'm out of options, and quite frankly I'm at wits end. I'm tired of having to drug myself just to TRY and sleep with my husband and I'm tired of vacations being ruined because I can't sleep in the same room with him. And he wonder's why I'm crabby and too pooped to party (if you know what I mean)

I just needed to vent. THanks for the ears... I would like to turn on the TV, but I know that would wake him and upset him, but if I can't sleep, then neither should he in my humble opinion.

I know that's the fatigue and immense frustration talking but I've had enough...12 years of this is enough- ya know? UGH! :cry:

 

[Kitchen2u]

Has he been checked for sleep apnea? I was in the same boat as you...he was diagnosed with severe apnea...now has a c-pap and I've been sleeping :indif: :indif: :indif: like a baby for the past 7 years...until about 2 years ago...I developed sleep apnea too! LOL We're one lovely looking couple with our masks on at night LOL! Our kids would come into our room and laugh hysterically ~

 

[jbdowd0798]

My sister and her boyfriend (I pray they marry!! he's cool!) both have machines! LOL What a thought! To roll over and kiss your spouse you need to remove 2 masks! ha ha ha But it works so God Bless the inventor!!

Good Luck!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

he's been tested, but it isn't bad enough to warrant a machine/mask and even if it was, he would not use it. He's a stubborn man...I'm so tired.....mostly of not being able to sleep and also of not being able to smother him in his sleep without going to prison. Lack of sleep makes people do crazy things. I have to get up in a few hours and put on a happy face for my step daughter who hates me and treats me like crap and I'm exhausted...Thanks for the advice on the sleep apnea thing...he mostly just snores too loud but rarely stops breathing in his sleep.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

Kacey,
Funny that you should have this posted. thats why I'm wide awake at 4 am I can not lie in bed when I'm awake, so since 2:30 I've been puttering around in the dark pretty much, so not to disturb the rest of the familywe have been married 21 years next month & its gotten worse in the last 2 years. he gets upset if I tell him to roll over. I know I also snore but he can sleep anyway.I was so sleep deprived 2 weeks ago I was scared to drive and every little thing made me cry. (my son telling me we were out of milk, put me over the edge I try to keep 2 gallons on hand at all times)I pray everything goes well for you, maybe the stepdaughter being a new mommy will soften her heart towards you.Eat a good breakfast with lots of proteinTeresa

 

[raebates]

I don't have any advice about the snoring, but I do have some about smothering him . . . Don't do it!I'm sure you'd get by with life in prison. Still, that's a big price to pay for a few moments' pleasure and a good night's sleep.

 

[chefann]

There was a guy on the Rachael Ray show this week who had the same problem! (And I never watch that show, so God must have had His hand on the remote that day.) His snoring was BAD, and he was tested for sleep apnea and all sorts of other things. Turns out, he had a deviated septum. They had a doctor on who said that a majority of people in the US have deviated septums, usually from slightly breaking their noses and not knowing it. They did surgery on the snorer - took out and replaced his septum - and it completely stopped the snoring.

 

[dianevill]

Kacey,

I was right there with you (and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who wanted to take a pillow and put it over DH's head - was wondering how to get away with it as I figured the kids would miss me while I was in prison. LOL). We had to make sure all the windows in the house were closed when we went to bed because the neighbors could hear him!!

I'm talking past tense because no, I didn't smother him, but last August he went to the dentist and got this thing called a TAP. I don't know what the heck it stands for, but it's a mouth appliance that kind of looks like a teeth whitening tray. Somehow it pulls the jaw open and allows him to breathe. It works WONDERFULLY!!!! Insurance didn't cover it - it cost just over $1000. It's money we really didn't have, but it very well could have saved our marriage because like you, I was at my wit's end.

Good luck, hon, and try to get some sleep!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Geesh Kacey....I pray that God can lead you all in the direction to find a solution for this! There are some good ideas of things to check into from some of these poor ladies who were in your shoes! Hopefully, your DH will see what your lack of sleep is doing to you and he will agree to boldly continue searching for a solution!

No interrupted sleep = one crazy woman. Trust me...I know, but mine was (thankfully, and hopefully) only temporary. The first year of Evan's life was hell on me (feedings every 2 hours round the clock 24/7) and even now it's a miracle if I am able to sleep 3-4 hours in a row without Evan waking me up or without waking up to pee. Even that is enough to mess with my head, so I can't even imagine what you are feeling like- especially with everything else going on in your life right now!

I hope today goes well for you!
{{{HUGS}}}
Kelly

 

[etteluap70PC]

Kacey,
I have not read all the way thru but after the first 3 lines of you post I was thanking heavens I was not the only one! My hubby and I have not slept a full night together in over 4 years! One of us usually sleeps on the couch. Usually me since I got so used to it from being up with the kids in the night when they were smaller.

Our issue also is that it's not just DH, I snore too so one of us is always waking the other up.

We used to srtuggle with each other in the same bed. One would always be sleep deprived and crabby. It was creating alot of hostility. One of us getting up and moving has helped alot. Now after all this time though it is hurting our intimacy.

I just wanted everyone to know that there are more people than we know that struggle with this.

 

[jwpamp]

he's been tested, but it isn't bad enough to warrant a machine/mask and even if it was, he would not use it. He's a stubborn man...I'm so tired.....mostly of not being able to sleep and also of not being able to smother him in his sleep without going to prison. Lack of sleep makes people do crazy things. I have to get up in a few hours and put on a happy face for my step daughter who hates me and treats me like crap and I'm exhausted...

Thanks for the advice on the sleep apnea thing...he mostly just snores too loud but rarely stops breathing in his sleep.

As a former Respiratory Therapist, all I can say is GET ANOTHER OPINION on the Sleep Apnea.

The test is only as good as the person doing it. If the tester did not note the apneac episodes or the physician reading did not pick up all the points, it will not be accurate.

If you are not sleeping, not good for you -- if he is not breathing correctly when he sleeps, NO OXYGEN, not good for him.

Just my 2 cents!

 

[BethCooks4U]

I can relate too. Fortunately the breathe rite strips do help with him ...and he often wakes up part way through the night and moves to the other room.

Have you tried wearing ear plugs? Desperate times lead to desperate measures.

 

[vwpamperedchef]

I can relate too--and we have a spare room where sometimes I go to...but there are times when I am in there with the door closed and I CAN STILL HEAR IT! DH gets offended that I go in there, but really I say "do you want a crabby wife in the morning?" LOL

He's been away on business a lot===so its been me and the cat. Of course, I wish DH was here snoring or not.

 

[krzymomof4]

Kacey,
You definately made me laugh this morning. Thank You:love:
My DH works 3rd shift, so I haven't run into the snoring thing too often, but on weekends we are so used to having the bed all to ourselves that we tend to roll all over each other...and not in a good way
I have thought about smothering mine too, but not for snoring....but I digress....

 

[pamperedlinda]

I feel for you! I have to sleep in a cave environment - dark & quiet - no bats! My 'practice' XDH was a snorer and it drove me insane. When I started dating my husband the first thing I asked him was did he snore - I knew I couldn't tolerate that and I'd just as soon end the relationship before I had any feelings for him - LOL! I would definitely have him see another doctor.

 

[PCJenni]

We are in the same boat. You can hear my husband snoring OUTSIDE our house!!! He has been tested 2 times and both times has been diagnosed with apnea. He had his tonsils removed and Uvula reshaped 4 years ago. He just got a mask and it STOPPED his snoring. But he says is bothers him so he has stopped wearing it. We no longer sleep together because I can not hear our 2 year old over his snoring. I sleep with her more than him!!! I figure it is his loss if I don't sleep with him!

 

[ShanaSmith]

You mean some couple sleep in the same bed? Wow, I thought my Dh was supposed to sleep on the couch everynight.
I always worry on vacation, ear plugs usually help for me, or the knee in the back to keep him from rolling over. I remember as a kid vacationing with my grandmother who snored like nobodys business, I slept in the tub on one trip.

 

[rennea]

I feel your pain too. DH is really bad and the basett hound is just as bad. DH call fall asleep just as his head hits the pillow. Needless to say I always go to bed first to fall asleep.

 

[chefmeg]

Kasey! I didn't go to sleep until midnight last night because I laid next to DH counting the seconds between inhale and exhale! Inhale.........15 seconds go by........great BIG snore out! OMG I thought he was dying! Usually, I fall asleep first and can get through the night without incident, but last night I was reading a good book and then the walls started to shake with the noise!

He goes for a physical in June and I told him this morning he HAD to tell them about this problem. I was counting and then doing math in my head~he stops breathing on average twice a minute for 10-15 seonds each time. That is minimum 20 seconds a minute, so that is 20 minutes of oxygen he loses every hour...8 hours of sleep, minus 20 minutes/hour is like only 6 hours of sleep! No wonder he is always complaining of being tired!

He is taking DS camping this weekend, so I will get a good nights sleep tonight!

As for smothering your DH......don't do it! Who will help you drive back home!
I agree with Janice~2nd opinion on the sleep apnea!

 

[susanr613]

i also had a snorer for a husband, fortunately earplugs took the edge off enough so that i could fall asleep. then we divorced, so now i only hear DS snoring during allergy season.

kacey, not to be disrespectful, have you tried earplugs? i am an extremely light sleeper and they worked for me.

good luck!

 

[kcjodih]

I have the air on high, and even that isn't drowning out his snoring. I'm tempted to go to the car, but he'd get ticked if I did that.

I'm out of options, and quite frankly I'm at wits end. I'm tired of having to drug myself just to TRY and sleep with my husband and I'm tired of vacations being ruined because I can't sleep in the same room with him. And he wonder's why I'm crabby and too pooped to party (if you know what I mean)

I just needed to vent. THanks for the ears... I would like to turn on the TV, but I know that would wake him and upset him, but if I can't sleep, then neither should he in my humble opinion.

I know that's the fatigue and immense frustration talking but I've had enough...12 years of this is enough- ya know? UGH! :cry:

HE would be ticked? Who the hell cares? Sorry, not to be mean but come on now! You're not sleeping, you're an emotional wreck, and HE'D be ticked if you turned on the tv or slept in the car - I DON'T THINK SO!!

Mine's a snorer too but a knee in the back usually does it, he rolls over on his side and stops long enough for me to fall asleep. If not, HE goes to the spare room or couch - I didn't do anything wrong. I'd definitely try earplugs too though, just to try something else for peace of mind and peace and quiet!

Good luck hon! HUGS!

 

[MissChef]

Both my hubby and I snore!!! :blushing: :blushing: I hate admitting that but I do! Mine is from having huge tonsils and I'm contiunously stuffy! My hubby use to sleep so peaceful, I sometimes would shake him because I could barely see him breathing and it would scare me!!
Now, trust me, I know he's alive!! He has gained some weight over the years and works a high pressure, exhausting job and he now snores! years ago, it was just me and I now know how he felt! For me, and this is funny and sad, when I was little (toddler)I use to get a lot of ear infections. My Mom said I would give her no warning! She would wake up in the morning and find me in my crib with blood on the sheet from my ear drum bursting! It happened so many times that it caused me hearing loss. Only in my right ear, my left ear has great hearing, in fact too good, it over compensates for my right ear, I think! But I have to be turned with my left ear towards what I want to hear and I can hear well!
My right ear is so bad that I can plug my left ear and hear nothing!! So that is what I do at night! I sleep on my left side and as long as I'm tired I will sleep and never hear anything!!
I have thought about having the corrective surgery on my ear, but a part of me doesn't want it because then I don't think I'd sleep at night! LOL! So, I've figured out a way to make my hearing loss a blessing!!! HAHA!!
I would want it fixed because I talk too loud and get teased for it a lot. If I cover my left ear with the phone, while I'm talking I can't tell that I'm too loud and can blast people away, I think that is why a part of me hates talking on the phone! But I don't know! I've thought about a small hearing aide but that's a lot of money!
Anyway, Good luck, Kacey! I do reccommend the ear plugs, I bought a big box of ear plugs and gave them to all the girls in my room at conference last year and everyone said that they never heard me, even the girl that I shared a bed with!
So, try it! It will give you peace and make you like your hubby again!

 

[RuthV]

Glad to know I'm not the only one who has the "snore monster" hubby. I have a couch that I refer to as the "sleepy couch". That's where I end up when hubby gets to snoring too loud and I can't get him to stop. It's really bad during allergy season and when he's really tired. We have central AC but put in a window unit for our bedroom last summer because he snores less if I keep the room really cold.

 

[chefpenny99]

Thankfully, my snoring doesn't bother my DH but I can't say the same for his snoring. I resorted to using earplugs several years ago. I still hear him snoring but just barely. It muffles it enough that I can get to sleep. You can find them in stores near the sleep aids.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I can relate too. Fortunately the breathe rite strips do help with him ...and he often wakes up part way through the night and moves to the other room.

Have you tried wearing ear plugs? Desperate times lead to desperate measures.

I need white noise to sleep-like a fan going, if I put in ear plugs I can't hear him snoring but I can feel him shaking the bed with his snores. UGH!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

You mean some couple sleep in the same bed? Wow, I thought my Dh was supposed to sleep on the couch everynight.
I always worry on vacation, ear plugs usually help for me, or the knee in the back to keep him from rolling over. I remember as a kid vacationing with my grandmother who snored like nobodys business, I slept in the tub on one trip.

I tried the tub last night, then broke out the beach chair and then just sat on the computer until almost 4:00 am....

I'll talk to him again, but I doubt he'll see a doctor. He gets upset when I wake him and tell him he's snoring (he's convinced he hasn't even fallen asleep) and even if I do get him to roll over, he still snores. He can snore in any position.

He sleeps on the couch downstairs, and before my sister moved in with us, we had another bed, but he'd never sleep on that. The couch is ruining his shoulder and his back, but I can't sleep with him unless I'm drugged out of my gore- which makes me so foggy and groggy the next day- and makes it hard to EVER get horny because I'm so flipping tired.

I'll pray about it some more, maybe that will convince him to go and see a doctor again.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

i also had a snorer for a husband, fortunately earplugs took the edge off enough so that i could fall asleep. then we divorced, so now i only hear DS snoring during allergy season.

kacey, not to be disrespectful, have you tried earplugs? i am an extremely light sleeper and they worked for me.

good luck!

That's not disrespectful Miss Susan, yes I have tried ear plugs, my ear holes are small and they hurt, so I tried those mouldable (sp?) ones and I can still sense him shaking the bed with the snores. I need a fan on to fall asleep and I am beyond a light sleeper... I can wake up when someone flips a light switch in another room!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Kasey! I didn't go to sleep until midnight last night because I laid next to DH counting the seconds between inhale and exhale! Inhale.........15 seconds go by........great BIG snore out! OMG I thought he was dying! Usually, I fall asleep first and can get through the night without incident, but last night I was reading a good book and then the walls started to shake with the noise!

He goes for a physical in June and I told him this morning he HAD to tell them about this problem. I was counting and then doing math in my head~he stops breathing on average twice a minute for 10-15 seonds each time. That is minimum 20 seconds a minute, so that is 20 minutes of oxygen he loses every hour...8 hours of sleep, minus 20 minutes/hour is like only 6 hours of sleep! No wonder he is always complaining of being tired!

He is taking DS camping this weekend, so I will get a good nights sleep tonight!

As for smothering your DH......don't do it! Who will help you drive back home!
I agree with Janice~2nd opinion on the sleep apnea!

Don't let him wait till June! He needs to get that taken care of NOW! Sleep apnea is very dangerous if not addressed...and that's EXACTLY what you are describing!

 

[Sheila]

I agree with the recommendations to get a 2nd opinion on the sleep apnea.

My husband used to be horrible. Luckily, the nose strips worked for him. We had the opposite problem in our house while I was pregnant. I had preeclampsia and gained soooo much weight the last month that I started snoring and was running him out of the bed. The nose strips DID NOT work for me. Once our daughter was born and I lost the excess weight, the problem stopped.

We have a Tempurpedic bed and it's GREAT for absorbing movement. If it were not for the covers moving when he rolls, I wouldn't even know that he had moved.

It's a little pricey, but Bose has some noise reduction headphones for about $400 that work wonderfully! Due to complications, we were in the hospital for 6 days when my daughter was born. By day 5 we were both so sleep deprived that he went home for a good nights rest. When he returned, he took our daughter to the waiting room for a few hours. I plugged in the ipod with some relaxing instrumental music and put on the Bose headphones and slept really well for a couple of hours. It completely covered all the noise coming from the hallway.

I also have a blackout eye mask that does not let in ANY light. It rocks too!

I hope you find a solution soon. And don't think you are the only sleep deprived person who's wanted to cause bodily harm to your significant other. My sister stood over her husband one night with a broom in hand & seriously considered beating him for sleeping through the new baby crying.

Oh! Here's a thought ... If you have a camcorder, record his snoring. Wake him & record how fast she starts snoring again. Maybe if he can see and hear what you deal with he will be more likely to seek professional assistance?

 

[scottcooks]

One thing that works is to rub the offender gently; arm or back - it rouses them just a little and gets them to stop snoring for a bit. If they can at all possibly sleep on their side or stomach, that will help, too.Make sure they drink enough water throughout the day. I've had bouts with snoring, and it has significantly to do with weight--if he can lose 20-25 lbs, it will change drastically!We bought a sleep number bed and my wife says it helped. I know I sleep better on it.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

One thing that works is to rub the offender gently; arm or back - it rouses them just a little and gets them to stop snoring for a bit. If they can at all possibly sleep on their side or stomach, that will help, too.

Make sure they drink enough water throughout the day.

I've had bouts with snoring, and it has significantly to do with weight--if he can lose 20-25 lbs, it will change drastically!

We bought a sleep number bed and my wife says it helped. I know I sleep better on it.

I just shake the bed and he awakens, or I'll just tap his shoulder- I'm not one to hit him or knee him in the back. And it doesn't matter if he sleeps on his stomach, side or back- he still snores! He drinks over 90 ounces of water each day, he does not stop breathing during the night he just snores like a freight train.

We had a sleep # bed, DH HATED it...we blessed another couple with it and no longer have it. I loved it, but that's when he stopped sleeping with me was once we got that bed...oh well....

 

[Shawnna]

I feel your pain...my DH snores so loud he sounds like a freight train coming. Lots of nights I sleep in the recliner. He is slightly overweight so losing 15 pounds or so would help some, but I think he has SA. His sister has it and our daughter has it also. I usually have him sleep on his side and I roll against him with my stomach to his back. This helps somewhat, but usually not all night. However, at this point I am so exhausted I have stopped hearing him snore...probably because I now snore too.

SA is very dangerous. Our daughter's oxygen levels get down to 82 at night...for long periods. She is scheduled to have her tonsils and adnoids removed in 3 weeks. The doctor hopes this will "cure" her problem. I hope so. She has snored for 10 years...she is 15. She always breathes through her mouth. Low oxygen levels causes lots of health problems...and learning problems too. My thought is that you should get a second opinion.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

HE would be ticked? Who the hell cares? Sorry, not to be mean but come on now! You're not sleeping, you're an emotional wreck, and HE'D be ticked if you turned on the tv or slept in the car - I DON'T THINK SO!!

Mine's a snorer too but a knee in the back usually does it, he rolls over on his side and stops long enough for me to fall asleep. If not, HE goes to the spare room or couch - I didn't do anything wrong. I'd definitely try earplugs too though, just to try something else for peace of mind and peace and quiet!

Good luck hon! HUGS!

I think he'd be upset from a safety standpoint. He wouldn't want me out in the parking lot sleeping- where someone could see me and try to break into the car and plunder and pilage me...I am cute so it is highly probably that a situation like that could arise! LOL

 

[Sheila]

I think he'd be upset from a safety standpoint. He wouldn't want me out in the parking lot sleeping- where someone could see me and try to break into the car and plunder and pilage me...I am cute so it is highly probably that a situation like that could arise! LOL

Ha Ha. I can assure you, if somebody took me, they wouldn't keep me long before they'd bring me back!