Funny Stories to Get a Laugh at a Show

[AJPratt]

Love the bra story. For some reason, only at shows, my bra (front clasp)comes unhooked. People usually don't notice, except for once. The husband must've realized what had happened and he tilted his head like a dog would.

 

[cmdtrgd]

A one liner I stole from another consultant is about the scrapers. I talk about how they are heat resistant and if your scrapers at home keep getting smaller, you are eating them. Then I say "Our scrapers are made out of silicone. If you've never seen silicone outside of the body, this is what it looks like." Usually it takes a few seconds to set in and then they are rolling! It is a really good way to start off the show so people know you can be fun and a bit racy. It is also a good way to find out HOW racy you can be!!!

 

[its_me_susan]

Knives:
We have the little paring knife, the medium utility knife, and (open up the chef's knife) the one I like to call "Lorena".

You can introduce the meat lifts & knives as belonging to our "violent weapon collection" and suggest they bring them along when they go for a walk.

 

[pamperedbecky]

A one liner I stole from another consultant is about the scrapers. I talk about how they are heat resistant and if your scrapers at home keep getting smaller, you are eating them. Then I say "Our scrapers are made out of silicone. If you've never seen silicone outside of the body, this is what it looks like." Usually it takes a few seconds to set in and then they are rolling! It is a really good way to start off the show so people know you can be fun and a bit racy. It is also a good way to find out HOW racy you can be!!!

I may have said this before, but I call them the "Baywatch Babes."

You can introduce the meat lifts & knives as belonging to our "violent weapon collection" and suggest they bring them along when they go for a walk.

You can also add the meat tenderizer to this. That thing is HEAVY DUTY and could easy show up on CSI as a murder weapon.

 

[ihavethetools]

I was on the road with my hubby in April when this was first posted (so I'm just now reading it), but I wanted to bump it to the top because I love the one liners here!
Thanks for the ideas and the laughs!

Kris

 

[gilliandanielle]

My customers always call the meat tenderizer a husband beater. Also I said the knife joke about Lorena at a show and it BOMBED!! I thought it was the right crowd, but everyone just looked at me weird and I moved on! Slippery slope...

 

[its_me_susan]

oops - was rereading the thread and I already added this one!

 

[dannyzmom]

I have yet to bring my meat lifters to a show (or out of the box for that matter) - what recipes do you use them with?

 

[AJPratt]

Glad this was bumped up! I have a couple of things to add:

I always have this as part of my open: Let's go around the room and introduce ourselve. Please tell us your name and favorite PC product, or if your new to PC, that's OK, this is a loving environment, tell us your style in the kitchen. And don't worry, I've already heard fast, cheap, and easy, so don't be shy!

The Happy Hubby Plan: I also offer the HHP. This is wehere you write a check for $20, put some on your credit card and then pay the balance with whatever money is in your purse. When you go home tonight you can tell your husband you wrote a check for only $20.

The Classic Batter Bowl: There are two different measurements. This is the side I use and the other is metric, for smart people and people from Canada. Always gets a laugh.

I tell this at certain shows, a lady called asked me if we had the "Meat Beater." Umm, the meat tenderizer? I sell the products, you do what you want with them.

I stole this from someone else, probably here!

 

[TinasKitchen]

I have one that I havent used yet and of course, it has to be with the RIGHT crowd, maybe your friends lol

W/ the meat tenderizer you can say and this is for your husband to pound his meat.. (laugh) I mean when you pound his meat (laugh) .. I mean you know.. when you are making chicken cutlets lol

I have yet to use it but I tried it out w/ my friends and they laughed.

 

[ChefNic]

Talking about the silicone... I'll talk about the scrapers,...then later, maybe the stainless steel bowls(the bottoms)... the juicer... the colander bowls... these all have silicone on the bottom... so I say "We use a lot of silicone...OUTSIDE the body.." Gets laughs...

Also, the kitchen spritzer... I heard this at Nat. Conf. last year... "Pump it 'til it's hard, spray it 'til it's soft" .... another good one for that special crowd, that won't get offended...

 

[Harrle]

Meat LiftersOne of the girls in our cluster said the meat lifters would be good for digging in the dirt in a garden - they are quite sturdy and the handles have a loop to be hung up in the garage!

 

[gilliandanielle]

My sis (an ex-consultant) was telling me about the meat lifters over the phone and she said she could roll hay with them. It got me laughing...

 

[Sk8Mom209]

I have to say I am not a naturally funny person and try to avoide jokes and one liners (although I do refer the PMS meter and the Baywatch Babes), but I am going to have to try out some of these. Many of them are natural and probably would not sound forced (my fear with comedy in my shows).

And I am still laughing over the BO story!

 

[Paige Dixon]

I have one that I havent used yet and of course, it has to be with the RIGHT crowd, maybe your friends lol

W/ the meat tenderizer you can say and this is for your husband to pound his meat.. (laugh) I mean when you pound his meat (laugh) .. I mean you know.. when you are making chicken cutlets lol

I have yet to use it but I tried it out w/ my friends and they laughed.

Oh my gosh, this is the funniest thing I've seen on here! Pretty racy, but I've got to try it!

 

[gilliandanielle]

I have the perfect crowd in mind for this little comment! Anything I explain in the catalog they turn dirty!

 

[Paige Dixon]

My customers always call the meat tenderizer a husband beater. Also I said the knife joke about Lorena at a show and it BOMBED!! I thought it was the right crowd, but everyone just looked at me weird and I moved on! Slippery slope...

You can either make an airplane noise while whisking your hand over your head indicating that it's over their heads, or you can add the "Bobbitt" part so they'll get it next time. Here's my favorite (take chef's knife out of sleeve) that I like to call "Lorena Bobbitt". not quite as funny, but maybe she's not as well known as we thought! The men especially cross their legs and laugh when you say that one!

 

[Paige Dixon]

While assembling a dessert item, you can talk about how fun a decadent show is. However, you can even it out by hosting the next show, a LOW FAT show, we'll all sit on the floor during the demo! Once again if they don't get it, do the airplane thing over your head.

 

[PaulaReb]

These are hilarious....The BO one still has me cracking up. I'm going to try some of them out at a party on Sunday.

 

[soonerchef]

I have always said that if every woman carried the Meat Lifters and the Meat Tenderizer in their car...no man would ever mess with them, those two things can do some damage!!

 

[tinpasture]

You guys are hilarious! I don't think I could purposely remember funny things to say, but sometimes enexpected things come out of my mouth. At a party last week I told guests that they could order replacement "farts" by calling me. My face was red but everybody laughed.


I do tell guests how I used the US&G to slice potato chips and baked them on a stone for a party. Then I tell them how the chips never made it to the party because they were so good I ate them all. That usually gets a laugh.

Laura Kiser

 

[jdavis]

I do tell guests how I used the US&G to slice potato chips and baked them on a stone for a party. Then I tell them how the chips never made it to the party because they were so good I ate them all. That usually gets a laugh.
Laura Kiser

So do share that recipe with us......You can't just leave us hanging like that.

 

[gilliandanielle]

I agree about the potato chips! I would LOVE to know how to do this!!!

 

[AJPratt]

I think the line that gets the biggest laugh is: "One thing you will hear about our stoneware is that it absorbs fat. (Whisper) I don't think its true. I sat on my stone for a half hour last night and nothing happened." Then I say, "Don't worry I used that stone at the last show."

 

[tinpasture]

I just sliced the potatoes as thin as I could w/ the US&G. Then I spritzed them with a little olive oil and sprinkled a little seasoning on them, I think I used the Southwestern Mix if I remember correctly. Then I layed them out in a single layer on my pizza stone and baked them till they were crisp. I can't remember the oven temp I used. I was just messing around trying to make something to put in my simple additions bowl for a party.

Laura

 

[AJPratt]

Sounds tasty!

 

[LoLoChef]

Nuts!Thank you all so much for the great ideas. I'm at work right now laughing out loud at my desk. They all think i'm nuts!... and speaking of nuts..

I use for the food chopper.. "It's a great stress buster, so if your husband gets you upset you can chop his nuts.." its usually a pause with the looks of (did she just say what i thought she said) and a bunch of chucking, then i say.. "his peanuts, his walnuts.." Then the room erupts with laughter.

 

[gilliandanielle]

Cute LoLoChef! Innuendos always make for a fun show!!

 

[AJPratt]

I Love That!

 

[Paige Dixon]

Ok, now I've got so many dirty ideas the guests will think I'm obsessed with penises! I'll try one at each show, then they're not hearing the same dumb joke at every show!