Funny Stories to Get a Laugh at a Show

[tinpasture]

You guys are hilarious! I don't think I could purposely remember funny things to say, but sometimes enexpected things come out of my mouth. At a party last week I told guests that they could order replacement "farts" by calling me. My face was red but everybody laughed.


I do tell guests how I used the US&G to slice potato chips and baked them on a stone for a party. Then I tell them how the chips never made it to the party because they were so good I ate them all. That usually gets a laugh.

Laura Kiser

 

[jdavis]

I do tell guests how I used the US&G to slice potato chips and baked them on a stone for a party. Then I tell them how the chips never made it to the party because they were so good I ate them all. That usually gets a laugh.
Laura Kiser

So do share that recipe with us......You can't just leave us hanging like that.

 

[gilliandanielle]

I agree about the potato chips! I would LOVE to know how to do this!!!

 

[AJPratt]

I think the line that gets the biggest laugh is: "One thing you will hear about our stoneware is that it absorbs fat. (Whisper) I don't think its true. I sat on my stone for a half hour last night and nothing happened." Then I say, "Don't worry I used that stone at the last show."

 

[tinpasture]

I just sliced the potatoes as thin as I could w/ the US&G. Then I spritzed them with a little olive oil and sprinkled a little seasoning on them, I think I used the Southwestern Mix if I remember correctly. Then I layed them out in a single layer on my pizza stone and baked them till they were crisp. I can't remember the oven temp I used. I was just messing around trying to make something to put in my simple additions bowl for a party.

Laura

 

[AJPratt]

Sounds tasty!

 

[LoLoChef]

Nuts!Thank you all so much for the great ideas. I'm at work right now laughing out loud at my desk. They all think i'm nuts!... and speaking of nuts..

I use for the food chopper.. "It's a great stress buster, so if your husband gets you upset you can chop his nuts.." its usually a pause with the looks of (did she just say what i thought she said) and a bunch of chucking, then i say.. "his peanuts, his walnuts.." Then the room erupts with laughter.

 

[gilliandanielle]

Cute LoLoChef! Innuendos always make for a fun show!!

 

[AJPratt]

I Love That!

 

[Paige Dixon]

Ok, now I've got so many dirty ideas the guests will think I'm obsessed with penises! I'll try one at each show, then they're not hearing the same dumb joke at every show!

 

[erinyourpclady]

Oh humor...it IS a good thing! I always tell my guests that I secretly want to be a stand up comediene! I too, joke about the Scrapers but instead of calling them "Baywatch Babes", I say they come in four sizes....A,B,C and D!
I call the Chef's Knife my home burglary kit.....the knive and me in a house dress with my glasses on and crazy bed head are enough to scare any thief away!!

I also use cheat sheets...or cooking for dummies! When I was first starting out I would use the actual recipe and cookbook. I found that because I talk SO much that I would lose my place in the cookbook! So I started writing down the recipe in the simplest terms on 4X6 cards. I do a Prep card and a Demo card(BTW-if you do this, save the cards...they are reusable!! Lesson learned after I wrote out the same recipe many times!!LOL). Anyway...I reference them quite a bit so I make sure to tell everyone I suffer from "CRS"...Can't Remember Stuff or if it is non G rated...the other S word!!!LOL!

Have a Pampered Day!!

 

[gilliandanielle]

That's cute about the four cup sizes! I will DEFINETLY use that!!

 

[AJPratt]

This is a great thread!

 

[gilliandanielle]

I need to go back through and take notes on all the one liners!