Friends Who Are Also Consultants

[jrstephens]

I have a friend (suppose to be a close friend) who is a consultant we both signed at the same time (a little emotions surrounding that too but I will not get into that). Well, I just READ in my local paper that this friend and her recruit are doing a First Annual Bridal Fair about 20 minutes from me that I had not heard about. My feelings are hurt b/c I think she should have asked me to join in with them too. I should not be suprised b/c of the way I have been done about many different things in the past but each time when it happens again my feelings get hurt and I get upset about it.

I have tried to run my business as to not compete with each other but many things have happend to show me this friend is not doing the same thing. I guess I was not invited b/c I may take away from what they can get, but I think friendship should come first.

Sorry to be having my own pity party but I know you all will make me feel better!

 

[ChefJoeCool]

That really is awful...I am so sorry...I hate it when my feelings get hurt (Pity, party of 1, your table is ready!). I agree, friendship should come first, but if she isn't making money off of you, that may be your answer.

But, maybe the recruit found the booth and asked her recruiter (your "friend") to join her.
I try and be optomistic, but if you really knew me...I think my table is ready!!!

 

[melodyprine]

I am so sorry that your friend is not being much of a friend. I hope things work out for you.

Melody

 

[ChefinHarmony]

Jennifer,
I kinda had this happen at the beginning of my career with my own Director and booking a show with someone I considered a close friend. Neither one said anything to me about it - I saw her name/show on my Director's website calendar! Anyway... I was bummed, hurt actually - felt betrayed by them both. I still don't understand why either one of them just didn't say something to me. Anyway....Then I thought about it... what would be the most "professional" thing to do? I kept telling myself to think of this as a real job and not take what they did personally. So, I acted very business like and contacted my Director via email with very professional wording. I asked if I could attend the show, since I knew the Host, as training (to watch my Director do a show). I think both my Director and the Host were shocked at my request/response! But I felt I handled it the best way - I went to the show and observed. It actually set them all at ease once I entered the room.

So, my suggestion would be... go to the Bridal Fair as a customer/guest. Go up to the booth and tell them you are there just to check out the vendors and learn from their booth, to "observe" - see how they have it set up, etc. Ask them how they are doing, wish them luck and truly mean it! You will learn from the show & this situation.

Know that you are honest person - you would have called her and invited her or at least told her about the upcoming event. It will show them that you are a professional at this business....

Joanne

 

[Shawnna]

I am sorry that you are being hurt by your friend. However, this is a business. Some people cannot seperate business from their personal life...friends, family, etc. Some feel threatened by others in the business. Perhaps your friend is intimidated by you in business matters...maybe she is jealous. However, it could be that her recruit asked her to do this with her. I always try to see the best in people...until I have been bitten a few times. If she has consistantly not included you in the past, I would just go about my business as best I could and not worry about her. You do not need her to be successful. In every business there are people who will do whatever it takes to move up the ladder...even if it means crushing their friends in the process.

 

[jrstephens]

Thanks everybody..I knew yall would make me feel better. My whole family tells me to get over the friendship b/c I have been wronged so many times but this person is in my church and lives just 5 or 6 houses down from me and it as hard to swallow sometimes when you have to stay acting friendly and nice no matter what b/c of the problems it could cause. I would love to confront her but it would just make huge problems everywhere. I have confronted her about on thing in the past and it did no good at all.

 

[raebates]

So sorry that this friend is not acting particularly friend-worthy. Sounds like you are doing what we're told to do--treat others as we would want to be treated.

I had a friend who acted a bit like you've described (sounds like an ongoing issue). Someone much wiser than I pointed out that people are in our life for a reason, a season, or for life. When a friendship feels like too much work (or hurt) to continue, the most loving thing to do for them and for yourself is to let it go. That doesn't mean acting badly toward the other person. You will, of course, continue to treat her with loving respect. You would want the same. It does mean, however, that you don't have to go out of your way to include her in your life. Be friendly when you encounter one another, of course. Just don't keep her on your BFF list.

I trust things will smooth out for you soon.