Kitchen Diva
Gold Member
- 4,953
Well it seems that after taking 87 paragraphs to explain why I wasn't sure what I was going to make for dinner tonight over on the dinner thread...
http://www.chefsuccess.com/f7/whats-dinner-june-7th-38265/
It seems that I do need to vent again and need you guys to give me a pep talk.
Some of you know the concerns I had with guilt over getting away for a while and going to SC with my DH to visit his kids and the new grandbaby...
I was concerned because #1- both DH and were now unemployed, and #2 we are still supporting my little sister and her daughter, #3 we were asking my parents to help out financially and I was worried that my mother would say "If you can afford to go to SC you can afford to carry your sister" You just have to know my mom.
Well my sister has been "waiting on the Lord" now for 4 months. She has a place to live- but cannot move there until she finds a job. She's gone to this city (which is an hour from our place) and applied at every shop in the little town. It's a tourist city, so naturally no one is hiring. So instead of trying to find work up here or in a neighboring city down there...she's waiting for something to open up.
Meanwhile- my mother has been over here no fewer than 3 times to either drop off or pick up my niece, and has not once bothered to come in and say hello to me. She'll stand in the driveway and talk to my sister- and that's it.
My mother hasn't spoken to me since I told her we were going on our trip, nor has any money come in to help us out. I did tell her just to give money to my sister since that's where it would be going anyway, but she hasn't done that either.
I've been studying the whole "waiting on the Lord" theory and Paul talks about it extensively and he even says while you are waiting DO NOT BE A BURDEN on ANYONE- so Paul always found work so he wouldn't burden his hosts... not my sister.
She has until August 1st to get out. And now my Mom is telling her that they are praying on whether or not to front my sister all her expenses for 3months so she can get into that apartment and get on her feet (which she's not tried really hard to do in the past 4 months up here) or just let her move in with them (half the square footage of our house) and she can get a job in their city until she can move down to her new place...
I'm like HUH!?!?! She could do that here, but has chosen to believe that although it is quite evident to me and DH that not having any job choices in that city where her housing is available is a sign that um....maybe it's not the right city...maybe that's a closed door from the Lord right there. But she wants to live there so bad she's choosing to believe that she'll just get a call from one of those shop owners.
SO I told her to keep her on their minds and call them weekly or every other week to see if any openings have arised. She won't do it... She just sits and eats and witches at my niece.
So now my mom isn't talking to me (again) my sister is taking advantage of us, and is being more than a burden at this point. She had the audacity to tell me that God isn't giving me the child I want until DH and I get rid of any and all of the strife in our marriage (um, 90% of it is because I am stuck in the middle and have to defend each of them to the other party and I'm stressed out!) But yet she parents from my recliner, if I mention anything about a job she gets ticked at me, and then takes it out on my niece by being short, snotty and verbally hurtful- and she never plays with her.
She does school work maybe 4 times a month now- but it's either too hot or too cold to go outside, teach her to ride her bike, take her to one of the 3 parks we have within walking distance of our home- she just watches TV and gets crankier by the day.
There is so much more I could share but I'll leave it at this. I just needed to get this off my chest because I can't talk to my mother- not like I ever really had her support 100% anyway...and I can't talk to DH because he's beyond fed up with her- especially since my sister claims to know the bible so well but she has no clue what it truly means to "wait on the Lord" and that you should not be a burden to anyone.
Part of me felt that the stress of this situation just brought out the worst in her, and DH said that it didn't- it revealed her character. And he's right- I just don't want to have to look at my sister in that way, but it's the truth...
Like I said, there's more I'd like to share but this post has been long enough- thanks for sticking with it... and thanks for your continued prayers, guys!
http://www.chefsuccess.com/f7/whats-dinner-june-7th-38265/
It seems that I do need to vent again and need you guys to give me a pep talk.
Some of you know the concerns I had with guilt over getting away for a while and going to SC with my DH to visit his kids and the new grandbaby...
I was concerned because #1- both DH and were now unemployed, and #2 we are still supporting my little sister and her daughter, #3 we were asking my parents to help out financially and I was worried that my mother would say "If you can afford to go to SC you can afford to carry your sister" You just have to know my mom.
Well my sister has been "waiting on the Lord" now for 4 months. She has a place to live- but cannot move there until she finds a job. She's gone to this city (which is an hour from our place) and applied at every shop in the little town. It's a tourist city, so naturally no one is hiring. So instead of trying to find work up here or in a neighboring city down there...she's waiting for something to open up.
Meanwhile- my mother has been over here no fewer than 3 times to either drop off or pick up my niece, and has not once bothered to come in and say hello to me. She'll stand in the driveway and talk to my sister- and that's it.
My mother hasn't spoken to me since I told her we were going on our trip, nor has any money come in to help us out. I did tell her just to give money to my sister since that's where it would be going anyway, but she hasn't done that either.
I've been studying the whole "waiting on the Lord" theory and Paul talks about it extensively and he even says while you are waiting DO NOT BE A BURDEN on ANYONE- so Paul always found work so he wouldn't burden his hosts... not my sister.
She has until August 1st to get out. And now my Mom is telling her that they are praying on whether or not to front my sister all her expenses for 3months so she can get into that apartment and get on her feet (which she's not tried really hard to do in the past 4 months up here) or just let her move in with them (half the square footage of our house) and she can get a job in their city until she can move down to her new place...
I'm like HUH!?!?! She could do that here, but has chosen to believe that although it is quite evident to me and DH that not having any job choices in that city where her housing is available is a sign that um....maybe it's not the right city...maybe that's a closed door from the Lord right there. But she wants to live there so bad she's choosing to believe that she'll just get a call from one of those shop owners.
SO I told her to keep her on their minds and call them weekly or every other week to see if any openings have arised. She won't do it... She just sits and eats and witches at my niece.
So now my mom isn't talking to me (again) my sister is taking advantage of us, and is being more than a burden at this point. She had the audacity to tell me that God isn't giving me the child I want until DH and I get rid of any and all of the strife in our marriage (um, 90% of it is because I am stuck in the middle and have to defend each of them to the other party and I'm stressed out!) But yet she parents from my recliner, if I mention anything about a job she gets ticked at me, and then takes it out on my niece by being short, snotty and verbally hurtful- and she never plays with her.
She does school work maybe 4 times a month now- but it's either too hot or too cold to go outside, teach her to ride her bike, take her to one of the 3 parks we have within walking distance of our home- she just watches TV and gets crankier by the day.
There is so much more I could share but I'll leave it at this. I just needed to get this off my chest because I can't talk to my mother- not like I ever really had her support 100% anyway...and I can't talk to DH because he's beyond fed up with her- especially since my sister claims to know the bible so well but she has no clue what it truly means to "wait on the Lord" and that you should not be a burden to anyone.
Part of me felt that the stress of this situation just brought out the worst in her, and DH said that it didn't- it revealed her character. And he's right- I just don't want to have to look at my sister in that way, but it's the truth...
Like I said, there's more I'd like to share but this post has been long enough- thanks for sticking with it... and thanks for your continued prayers, guys!