Director Babies, Parties and New Consultants

[cookingwithlove]

I had a potential new consultant want to come to one of my parties to observe. But she wanted to bring her 3 month old baby because she is breastfeeding. I was hesitant for several reasons. One not everyone enjoys kids and babies and I was not sure if this was the case with my host. Also, I treat PC as my business and I think there is a time and place for business and a time and place for children and sometimes they do not go together. I suggested that she leave her baby for the few hours of the party. She did not want to do this. We had a conversation on the phone where I stated that the party was not at my house, but at the hosts house. I do not know the host very well and I need to talk to her about it. I felt very uncomfortable with the converstion, because this has never happened to me before. I have never brought my children to a party and I live in Portland Oregon where breastfeeding is sometimes treated like shoe tying, very open and public. I did not want my host and her guest feeling uncomfortable. Long story short. I spoke to my host she was fine, told the new consultant so, she seemed ready to come, but then emailed me that she was did not like that I was not open to her 3 month old coming and that she would be uncomfortable with me as her director.

So... My question is, how would you have handled this situation? How do you handle consultants in your downline who want to bring their children to meetings and other PC related events?

 

[finley1991]

This is tricky. First I would call and her and see if you can do something about it because it sounds like her feelings are hurt. You don't want to lose her as a recruit and if it were me, I would say something like, "Your request kind of caught me off-guard because I have never encountered this before and I don't think I handled it very well..." or something along those lines.Then I would ask her what her plans are regarding actually doing the shows because we know that it would be difficult to juggle both. That being said, as always, it's HER biz and she can run it any way she likes so if she wants to take her kid to shows, she has every right to if it's okay with her hosts...Just my thoughts... HUGS!!!!!PS: When I know someone has a little one, the first question I ask is if they have child care covered because I won't be providing it at meetings and they will need to make arrangements.

 

[PCJenni]

I would have told her exactly the same thing. The show is about the hostess, not this potential consultant. Any time anyone wants to observe a show I ask the hostess if it is ok. I would also have talked with the recruit about leaving the room if the baby started crying etc so as not to distract the guests from the show. Common courtesy is not so common any longer.

 

[cookingwithlove]

I think I lost her has a recruit. I sent her the following message and I have not heard back:

Hi ____,

It was a very uncomfortable conversation for me too and you may have misunderstood. I understand and respect all that you do for your children. I am a mother too and I have had young breastfeeding children not that long ago. I have also learned that not everyone I meet thinks my children are as cute as I do and not everyone likes being around them, it is hard to believe ! My first priority is with my host. I wanted to confirm with Peggy that she was OK with a baby coming. She is. There was nothing personal in my conversation with you and your baby and I am sorry it took it to be so. I have been with The Pampered Chef for over 6 years and a director for 2. I have a nice size team. I am a good trainer and I can help you be as successful as you want in this business. If you change your mind, let me know.

I wish you all the best,

 

[BethCooks4U]

I have a consultant who had a young son when she joined. I told her that while I personally didn't mind her bringing her child to a meeting as long as he wasn't disruptive, once he became mobile she would probably want to leave him with dad or a sitter as my set up really wouldn't work with young children. She seemed fine with it.

Fast forward to this year: She recently had her 3rd child and also recently shared that she almost didn't sign with me because of the no kids at the meeting thing. BUT she says now she totally gets it and actually uses the meeting as an adult night away from the kids.

You never know...

 

[cenouctosturo]

I think you handled it well - personally I have brought my son of 8 to a few shows but they were shows of friends or family where he was also expected to be there.And what if your host would have said no that she didnt want the baby there? Would this other girl say that she didnt want to be a consultant bc of convenience. Not everyone is going to comfortable with a baby at their show especially when its the consultant and she is expected to be handling the presentation and sales not tending to her child. Sounds to me like she needs a job where she can bring here child.Also we do not allow children at our monthly meetings either. So what does she plan on doing for that. We also hold a session we call Team Talk Tuesdays for consultants who want extra for their business and we cover topics that we feel we need extra trainings on. There are a few of us that have kid friendly homes so we allow kids to come to those so that we are not spending another eve away from them and that way they know that moms job is fun. However, it is very distracting, especially when they get loud or something happens that we have to handle!!Again I think you handled it well and shouldnt stress over it. As my Director always says: Bless and Release!

 

[cincychef]

I think you had every reason to check with the host, she is your host and it you are right that not everyone is baby friendly. That being said, when I started with Pampered Chef I had a 6 week old and she came to all of my first shows because I breastfed. They were all shows with friends and family and the ones that I didn't have a relative on the guest list who I knew would love to be babysitter for the evening, I just brought a family member with me and had them in charge of the baby. All of my hosts at the time knew me and would have done the same with their own babies. If that hadn't been an option I probably wouldn't have started with Pampered Chef. Also the other thing I LOVED was my director let us bring breastfeeding babies to our meeting. Again I never would have come to a meeting if I couldn't have brought her. I still tell my new mom and pregnant recruits that they are welcome to bring their newborns to my meetings.Now 6 years later I do my business very differently, I have built a team and promoted to director and have had 2 more breastfeeding babies. With the next 2 kids I did leave them for shows, my reasons for doing Pampered Chef had changed and I needed to make an income and no longer knew all my hosts. I did let some of them know that I was breastfeeding and planned on being in and out for the show in 3-4 hours. Even with that kind of pre-planning I recall several very painful drives home
I don't think you handled it badly though and if she got her feelings hurt that easily that is not a good sign for her future with PC. I just put in my experience to show that people do things differently with their business and that is the beauty of Pampered Chef, that we can do things in a way that works for us and our families.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Isn't that a bit of odd irony though? Don't we promote our business that works alongside your family? Don't we tell people that it is a great option for SAHMs? It can be difficult to reoconcile those frames of mind. We are family friendly, but you can't have your family at your business functions. (I'm kinda playing Devil's Advocate here) I can understand that in a learning environment like our meetings, children can be a distraction. I understand that at our parties nursing moms and crying babies can be a distraction, but isn't that a tad ironic? I'm anxious to hear your thoughts!

 

[Sheila]

Hubby showed up to one of my first shows with my daugher (before son was born). She was only 4 months old, and the host was our best friends so it was natural for our whole family to be in their home. But having them both there while I was trying to work was disrupting. I kept having to shush hubby so the guests could hear the specials! LOL

Since that time, I tell all my new consultants up front that they can concentrate easier & have a more relaxed time if their shows & our meetings are time AWAY from the family. We choose our own ours so that we can attend more family events. I only work 2 weekends a month. The other weekends are my family time. I choose to dedicate that 1 meeting a month & those 6 days per month as work time. The rest of the month is to focus on hubby and the kids. If they can't do without me for that 1 meeting and up to 6 days of working, there's a problem. If I had a full time job outside the home, they would be functioning 20+ days per month/40 hours per week (or more) without me. I think the few hours that I do work per month are a good trade!

If you are working on training or doing a Cooking Show, you really shouldn't be dividing your attention between the new material at the meeting or focusing on the Cooking Show while being distracted by your own children. It's just not good business. If it were a kids show and you knew all the other Moms/Kids it would be an exception. But I would be frustrated as a guest if I came to a Cooking Show and had to stay longer because the Consultant kept having to stop to be a Mommy. Unless she's doing in-home child care or working at a child care center, I doubt any other means of employment would allow her to bring her children to work on a regular basis. She needs to have the same respect for this business. Work time is work time. She'll make more money working part time for PC than she would working for any other part time job. She doesn't know, what she doesn't know. Encouraging her to dedicate set hours to her business & the rest of her schedule to her family will soon feel natural & she'll eventually learn to appreciate the adult time away from the family.

 

[Sheila]

I think I lost her has a recruit. I sent her the following message and I have not heard back:

Hi ____,

It was a very uncomfortable conversation for me too and you may have misunderstood. I understand and respect all that you do for your children. I am a mother too and I have had young breastfeeding children not that long ago. I have also learned that not everyone I meet thinks my children are as cute as I do and not everyone likes being around them, it is hard to believe ! My first priority is with my host. I wanted to confirm with Peggy that she was OK with a baby coming. She is. There was nothing personal in my conversation with you and your baby and I am sorry it took it to be so. I have been with The Pampered Chef for over 6 years and a director for 2. I have a nice size team. I am a good trainer and I can help you be as successful as you want in this business. If you change your mind, let me know.

I wish you all the best,

I promise I'm not trying to pick on you, I'm just attempting to show you how to re-phrase where the blame is not being focused on the other person. It will get you MUCH further with people who "don't know, what they don't know" ...

It was a very uncomfortable conversation for me too and you may have misunderstood. ~ YOU being the key word there. As the reader, she might be taking this as a personal attack that SHE over reacted. Colleen's suggestion of: "Your request kind of caught me off-guard because I have never encountered this before and I don't think I handled it very well..."was great! Another option might have been to say "I'm sorry if I've offended you, as it wasn't my intention ..." then lead into Colleen's sentence.

There was nothing personal in my conversation with you and your baby and I am sorry it took it to be so. ~ I realize you probably don't mean it to be this way, but it could appear to say "I'm right and you took it wrong"

If you change your mind, let me know. ~ you are writing her off as a done deal. Never assume that it's over! Always try to keep the door open. "I hope that we can resolve the misunderstanding, as I'd love to have you join our team"

I'd have revamped the whole e-mail and sent something to this effect:

_______,

I am very sorry if I offended you, as it was certainly not my intention. It was the first time that someone has made that type of request and perhaps I didn't handle it as well as I would have if I'd had more experience with the inquiry. I understand the challenges that can come with breastfeeding on demand and I applaud you for your efforts.

I did feel the need to obtain approval from Peggy since we were guests in her home. I felt that was a courtesy thing for her and I did not indend for it to be perceived as a personal attack. I apologize if I phrased it in an offending manner.

I've learned from experience that my own children are distracting to me in the work environment. Through doing shows outside their presence I've learned how much more relaxing my Pampered Chef time is without them in attendance. Since you've not yet had the same experience I've had as a consultant, I realize that there's no way for you to have the same level of knowledge that comes from being in my shoes. What I was trying to convey, is that once you do a few shows without the added stress of simultaneously being a Mommy, I feel confident that you will also feel as I do about your time away from the family. Pampered Chef allows us the opportunity to choose how much or how little we want to work. We can set our hours around our family time. I choose to dedicate our one monthly meeting per month and the 6 days per month that I choose to work to actually doing Pampered Chef. The remainder of the month is family time. I expect my family to respect my "work" hours so that I can devote my time to them the rest of the month. It takes practice getting that routine established, but after trying it, I think you'll agree that you can get more accomplished by separating work hours from family time. I strive really hard at scheduling my trainings and one-on-one time with my team during the times when I expect for my little ones to be sleeping so that I can focus on the consultants and their needs. We can accomplish more and finish with less stress. Hopefully, that makes sense!

If there's anything that I can do to help ease your mind, please let me know. I'm a Mom, as are most of the members of our team. I'm more than happy to help guide you on your journey to achieving your goals with Pampered Chef while learning to juggle it around family events and activities that are important to you. I'm also more than happy to answer any questions that you might have about the business opportunity. As much as you love the product, I think you would make a great Consultant! We have a great team and I would LOVE to have you join us.

 

[pamperedlinda]

I have a feeling that she isn't as offended as you might think she is. I think she possibly changed her mind and is using this situation as her 'scape-goat'. I always ask my host if it's okay to bring a new consultant along with me - afterall, it may be my business, but it's her house.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I have a feeling that she isn't as offended as you might think she is. I think she possibly changed her mind and is using this situation as her 'scape-goat'. I always ask my host if it's okay to bring a new consultant along with me - afterall, it may be my business, but it's her house.

Me too. And I always let the consultant who wants to shadow me know that it's contingent on the host agreeing. It's just polite and respectful to okay it with your host before showing up with someone else in tow.

 

[chefkathy]

I would just pick up the phone and call her. It's very difficult to get your true intentions across via email.

 

[PCJenni]

I offer plenty of opportunity for training, a Tuesday meeting every week is kid friendly. My monthly recognition meeting is kid free, breastfeeding non mobile babies are welcome. This is our business, their business and MY business. We are not obligated to faciliate all of THEIR wants, needs and desires. It would be impossible to please everyone. I have women on my team who have no children. I know they do not appreciate having screaming, snotty kids crying and talking while they are trying to get training and network. I have women who would not be able to attend meeting if their kids weren't welcome. How to balance that... offer multiple opporunities and then leave it up to THEM to decide what works.

 

[cookingwithlove]

Thank you for the responses. I have learned alot. Sheila good words, however the email is already sent and I cannot go back and redo it. I was responding directly to an email she sent telling me she did not want to sign up with me, so yes I have written her off. I cannot push myself on her and we always tell people to find the right fit before you sign up. If I am not the right fit for her, she needs to make that decision. ChefKerns good devil advocate, but I think there is a fine line between family friendly and business. I am just trying to discern where that line is. I was a bit taken aback when she said she would be bringing a baby. It was not asked but stated. If the places were reversed and I was coming to a stranger's house to look at a business opportunity, I would never assume my baby could come. Perhaps because this is a business for me and I do have the distinction between family and business. Not everyone does and I need to remember this. It is a learning experience and the next time it comes up I will be prepared. I love the bless and release saying. I have 2 other very strong potential recruits that I am going to spend my energy on and move on from this.

 

[finley1991]

I have 2 other very strong potential recruits that I am going to spend my energy on and move on from this.

I agree this is where your energy should be spent!

 

[Sheila]

I totally agree too. I never try to talk anyone into joining my team. They either want it or they don't. I'd rather focus my time & energy on the ones who want it and are willing to do what it takes to make their business work. But I also try to leave the door open for the others so that they will feel comfortable coming back to me if circumstances change.