Totally off Topic but Cute - New Diet

[whiteyteresa]

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog......Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

 

[nikkijo]

That is to funny! Have you ever heard of the comedian Bill Engville? He's part of the Blue Collar Comedy and he has a saying here's your sign. When someone ask you a totally stupid question you give a bogus answer and say here's your sign. I so thought of that when I read that she asked if you had a dog.

 

[jenniferknapp]

OMG! So cute!! I would never had thought of that at the time! I think of funny things, but about 5 mins too late!

 

[pamperdawn]

Purina DietThat was awesome!!

 

[pcheframsey]

I love it!!! I have to remember that for the next time someone says something dumb to me!

 

[heat123]

To funny! And I thought this was going to be a thread about our diet whoas! As I am starting the Slimfast diet this week!

 

[supergirljennie]

How funny! I'm impressive with how quick you were with that clever comeback. Kudos to you! LOL

 

[jdavis]

I got that in an email about a year or so ago, I thought it was quite funny.

 

[apriljc]

I am still laughing out loud. That was clever on your part. I could have never thougth of the story.

 

[jenniferp417]

I *love* that story!

 

[GeorgiaPeach]

Okay Teresa...what are you going to do when you look up at the guests at your next show and that lady is sitting in the front row?

That thought is what stops me every time I am tempted to be flip or sarcastic to people I don't know.....so I just think it on the inside

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Okay Teresa...what are you going to do when you look up at the guests at your next show and that lady is sitting in the front row?

Offer her a dish full of kibble.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I was thinking the same thing as Lisa!! This may come back to bite you (LOL) - You are going to run into this person again!

 

[pixel-_]

Teresa,

I think that you and I would get along very well! I pull that kind of stuff all of the time...I do it more for the looks! I love how you wound up in the hospital ! I will have to pass along my Sarcastic and Cynical bumper sticker!

 

[jdavis]

Okay Teresa...what are you going to do when you look up at the guests at your next show and that lady is sitting in the front row?

That thought is what stops me every time I am tempted to be flip or sarcastic to people I don't know.....so I just think it on the inside

Um, did you see my post above???
/\ /\
/ \ / \

 

[kcjodih]

Hey everyone - this is a great story but it's exactly that - a story!!

I too, got it in my email about a year ago. Thanks Teresa for sharing it and reminding me again of how incredibly hilarious it was!

 

[Jilleysue]

Yeah I had heard that before..very cute;

 

[whiteyteresa]

I am very sorry that I forgot to put in the first post that this was an e-mail sent to me.

I was laughing so hard, I guess I just forgot that part

Again sorry about that.

(plus I just got back online and read all the post - I am not receiving the e-mails after post are posted.)

~

 

[BethCooks4U]

TOO funny! Thanks for the laugh!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I am very sorry that I forgot to put in the first post that this was an e-mail sent to me. I was laughing so hard, I guess I just forgot that partAgain sorry about that.(plus I just got back online and read all the post - I am not receiving the e-mails after post are posted.)~

Don't apologize...anyone who got sucked into believing it was real deserved what they got from it. PS - I WOULD offer her a dish of kibble if she was at my show - in for a penny, in for a pound!

 

[legacypc46]

Wow, Teresa, you about killed me! I was laughing so hard, I fell out of my chair, laughed harder at being so clumsy, and then realized I couldn't get my breath and was choking! I just didn't see that last line of the joke coming!

Too funny!

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

OMG! You had me laughing out loud!!! Good thing my kids weren't in here or they would have though I lost it!!

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

Wow, Teresa, you about killed me! I was laughing so hard, I fell out of my chair, laughed harder at being so clumsy, and then realized I couldn't get my breath and was choking! I just didn't see that last line of the joke coming!

Too funny!

OK, Kristin, I'm laughing now picturing you doing that!!!