This Just Burns My You Know What!!!!!!

[PCSarahjm]

Nothing to do with PC but I needed a place to vent! My MIL is watching my son this week(he has hand foot mouth virus) He is unable to go to daycare until it is cleared up...anyway. I called her to see if she would watch him of course she would love to. So we go on talking about this virus and then she interupts me to say o- make sure you pack him some lunch and snack????? What the ????? It just gets me sometimes...I am the only one who pays her to keep my son(the rest of the family drops their kids off whenever and never offers a dime to her)or she drives to their house where I have to take my son to hers. and for some odd reason I still have to pack food for him( i could understand if he was still eating baby food but that isn't the case).
He also had diareaha(sp) yesterday so I said no fruit or juice for him so what does she do she lets him eat 2 bowls of grapes
I just don't get it....and she wonders why I put him in daycare(he used to go to her house 3 days a week)
Thanks for listening

 

[Jewel]

I know exactly how you feel. my MIL will do the exact opposite of whatever I tell my kids they can't have or eat. Don't feel that bad about it, some MILs are just spiteful. My DH asked if she had a copy of his birth certificate (we lost it), she said she had the original, but we couldn't have it. Her excuse was that he will need it when he divorces me. Like I said....I know how you feel.

 

[PCSarahjm]

I know exactly how you feel. my MIL will do the exact opposite of whatever I tell my kids they can't have or eat. Don't feel that bad about it, some MILs are just spiteful. My DH asked if she had a copy of his birth certificate (we lost it), she said she had the original, but we couldn't have it. Her excuse was that he will need it when he divorces me. Like I said....I know how you feel.

OMG! I thought my MIL was bad...that is terrible. I think one of her problems is with me is my husband is 17yrs older than me:angel: . And he is the youngest child "her baby". She raised 6 kids so she knows everything about raising kids. Which in truth might be but her oldest daughter pretty much raised my husband so who is she to judge?

 

[dannyzmom]

Nothing to do with PC but I needed a place to vent! My MIL is watching my son this week(he has hand foot mouth virus) He is unable to go to daycare until it is cleared up...anyway. I called her to see if she would watch him of course she would love to. So we go on talking about this virus and then she interupts me to say o- make sure you pack him some lunch and snack????? What the ????? It just gets me sometimes...I am the only one who pays her to keep my son(the rest of the family drops their kids off whenever and never offers a dime to her)or she drives to their house where I have to take my son to hers. and for some odd reason I still have to pack food for him( i could understand if he was still eating baby food but that isn't the case).
He also had diareaha(sp) yesterday so I said no fruit or juice for him so what does she do she lets him eat 2 bowls of grapes
I just don't get it....and she wonders why I put him in daycare(he used to go to her house 3 days a week)
Thanks for listening

You PAY her to keep your son??
And she accepts your money????
If I were her DIL she would NEVER see my child again.

 

[dannyzmom]

I know exactly how you feel. my MIL will do the exact opposite of whatever I tell my kids they can't have or eat. Don't feel that bad about it, some MILs are just spiteful. My DH asked if she had a copy of his birth certificate (we lost it), she said she had the original, but we couldn't have it. Her excuse was that he will need it when he divorces me. Like I said....I know how you feel.

Lovely. I am so sorry. You can go thru the state to get another copy of his birth certificate. You should get it and then show her "Hey - we didn;t need your copy after all..."

 

[dannyzmom]

You PAY her to keep your son??
And she accepts your money????
If I were her DIL she would NEVER see my child again.

And another thing...you should ask her..."Hey Ma...have you been putting $ aside so that when you're old and your health is failing, you'll be able to PAY ME to care for you?!"

 

[Jewel]

Lovely. I am so sorry. You can go thru the state to get another copy of his birth certificate. You should get it and then show her "Hey - we didn;t need your copy after all..."

I did this. The state's website was easy.

 

[janetupnorth]

I know exactly how you feel. my MIL will do the exact opposite of whatever I tell my kids they can't have or eat. Don't feel that bad about it, some MILs are just spiteful. My DH asked if she had a copy of his birth certificate (we lost it), she said she had the original, but we couldn't have it. Her excuse was that he will need it when he divorces me. Like I said....I know how you feel.

Wow, totally OPPOSITE my inlaws. They told my DH that he can never come home ever again without me.

 

[PCSarahjm]

And another thing...you should ask her..."Hey Ma...have you been putting $ aside so that when you're old and your health is failing, you'll be able to PAY ME to care for you?!"

Talking about money this is a good one on her...my husband has a his own business and he purchases alot of materials through MFA Feed/supply store. His father has always had an account there so my husband runs everything through the account but pays for it that day so there isn't a charge. The reason for this is MFA gives credits/earnings back to customers for everydollar amount spent. A few weeks ago my MIL got a statement in her deceased husbands name showing a balance of $0 and the activity that has been going on with the account. So she marches into MFA complaining about getting this statement when her DH has been dead for 4 years and it needs to be cancelled and she wanted to know who was using this account. They told her it was my husband but he never charges to it he always pays and the reason why it was still open was there must be a balance. So she calls the main office to see what the credit built up was....Mind you she is pissed and throwing a fit... the credit was for $750!!!! Do you think she offered to pay that to my husband??? NO!!! She used the money to pay for her propane bill...claiming and don't get me wrong I do believe in God and Praying....that she had prayed to God to help her find Money to pay for her heat bill this winter...and he led her to this....NICE!

 

[GeorgiaPeach]

Wow, totally OPPOSITE my inlaws. They told my DH that he can never come home ever again without me.

MY parents would say that to my husband! I've joked that if I ever divorced my husband they'd keep him...and blame me! Good thing I don't ever plan on getting rid of him...he's a keeper

 

[raebates]

Wow, my MIL is nuts, but she's not quite that bad. Don't hold back, Carolyn. Let us know how you really feel.

 

[dannyzmom]

Wow, my MIL is nuts, but she's not quite that bad.

Don't hold back, Carolyn. Let us know how you really feel.

You know me so well

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Nothing to do with PC...

Like anything else in this forum is?

 

[missydivine]

I'm so sorry to hear that. My MIL was the best, I couldn't have wished for a better one. I wish was still with us. I can't believe you have to pay her to watch her grandchild. My mom will take off work if I need her to watch the girls and come to my house. Of course that is my mom.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

That is so sad you have to pay her to watch her grandchild! My mom and my MIL both practically pay to watch our little guy......they either come here with special treats, or he goes to their homes and gets special treats......he can do no wrong to them! He gets away with sooooo much, and gets to do and have so many things that aren't allowed on a regular basis at home. I don't worry too much about it - because both sets of grandparents are older, and may not be around his whole childhood, so I want him to have lots of special memories.

 

[ginamkiely]

My MIL isn't allowed around my son anymore. She's just the most insane person you could meet. She's actually known as the town crazy lady. I could actually write a book about all the awful things she's done to my family. I feel for you, i really do. Your MIL sounds just as crazy as mine. I wouldn't be letting my kid around her anymore.

 

[legacypc46]

And another thing...you should ask her..."Hey Ma...have you been putting $ aside so that when you're old and your health is failing, you'll be able to PAY ME to care for you?!"

well out carolyn! i am so much a believer in what goes around, comes around...amazing how many people forget that..especially family!

 

[Chef Endora]

It stinks when inlaws get petty & think they have to make comments.

I like to think I raised my girls to use their brains & make good decisions. Accepting their choice of life partner and accepting that person as one of your own is key. Someday you will be a MIL. Don't let her be your role model.

I go by "if you can't say something nice, then don't say it at all" & it seems to work

My DSILs, Derwood & Dagwood call me Endora, hence the screen name. This is all in affection & we all get along great.

I learned how to be a MIL from my DMIL. We lived next door to her & I was spoiled rotten! There were a few comments, but nothing I couldn't ignore.

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

Just think it could be much worse...trust me there are worse out there.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Just think it could be much worse...trust me there are worse out there.

I think I married someone related to them......at least we live 2500 miles apart......

 

[chefheidi2003]

That is so sad you have to pay her to watch her grandchild! My mom and my MIL both practically pay to watch our little guy......they either come here with special treats, or he goes to their homes and gets special treats......he can do no wrong to them! He gets away with sooooo much, and gets to do and have so many things that aren't allowed on a regular basis at home. I don't worry too much about it - because both sets of grandparents are older, and may not be around his whole childhood, so I want him to have lots of special memories.

I don't have any kids but my sister does and my nephews love to come to our house so that my mom can spoil them...my mom has always taught them that that is what Grammies are for...lol...

I am so sorry that your MIL is so crazy, makes me not want to meet a man and get married. My BIL always tells everyone that he has the greatest MIL. They actually went to a fire school together once.

 

[pamperedbecky]

And another thing...you should ask her..."Hey Ma...have you been putting $ aside so that when you're old and your health is failing, you'll be able to PAY ME to care for you?!"

That's awesome!!

Wow, it's interesting to hear these stories and makes me feel badly for those going through the hellish in-law experiences. My MIL would drop over dead if I offered to pay her to watch the kids. Never in a million years would she expect that. Yes, she feeds them total crap and junk food when they're there, but that's the worst of it. She also cooks them amazing Indian food (my hubby and inlaws are 100% Indian) and feeds them very well when they're there, even though some of the other food she feeds them is junky. She also makes all of us awesome INdian food when we want it. (It's not very WW friendly though)

My inlaws are a weird bunch and have all these "unwritten rules" but at least it's nothing major. Sorry for those of you dealing with nutty ones!

 

[friday]

hmmmm.... My MIL passed before dh and I ever got married. My FIL lives on a whole other continent (and we don't speak the same language so the one time I met him we just looked at each other...) but MY parents... my dh must tell TERRIBLE In Law stories at work. My family is awful. My sister told us our baby was too brown and she could no longer have us over in case some of her customers (she has a shop at her home) saw the baby and noticed he wasn't white. Oh it just goes on and on. My poor dh tolerates alot. Makes me want to move back to Chile sometimes- but alas- PC is not in Chile.... yet... but you won't be able to hold me back if it ever is!!

 

[jenniferlynne]

Oh! Have I got a good one. Let me tell you. That old bag drives me nuts!!! OK, my husband was married before me and had two daughters. His first wife packed up and left him with the kids. She married a child molester, so she is not allowed to see them (not that she wants to). So, a couple of months after we get married, I find out I am pregnant. MIL is NOT happy. She thought it was just horrible that I got pregnant. Couldn't believe we would do that to the girls. When we got back from the Ultra Sound, she refused to look at the pictures. When TJ was born and they came to the hospital, she refused to hold him so FIL could take a picture. There's been many times she has invited the girls and her other two grandkids over, but not TJ. We have had to deal with him crying and throwing a fit because he wasn't invited. She recently lost her car keys while visiting a friend that lives a couple of hours away. She made the comment that whoever found them now has a picture of her 4 grandkids (she has 5, but TJ wasn't in the picture). Now, she doesn't treat our girls as bad as she does TJ, but she still doesn't treat them as good as she does the other two. My husband had a brother that died right before we met. His wife had died about a year before him, so their two kids live with their aunt. She treats them so much better than the rest. She gives them money for whatever they want and drives all over the place for their band competitions (sometimes 2 or 3 hours away). She will sit all day outside in the heat or rain and get sick because she refuses to miss a competition. Yet, she gripes if she has to sit more than an hour at one of our kids activities. TJ has soccer games on Saturdays, but she won't go to even one of them because the band competitions are on Saturdays. A couple of Saturdays ago she had to watch the girls because I had to work and DH was out of town (I found someone else to watch TJ). She informed them that they would be up and ready to leave the house by 7 (the competition didn't start until 11 and it wasn't that far away), because she wasn't going to be late and she wasn't going to let them ruin her day. Now, these girls aren't little. They are 13 and 15!! They have proven they can't quite be trusted to stay home by themselves yet, so that is why we sent them there. Can you imagine how that makes them feel? In-laws also used to go to Florida every year in the winter, but would drive back (we live in Indiana) for about 3 days to celebrate the other kids birthdays. Then turn around and drive back and stay for about another week. My FIL put his foot down about it and said he wasn't doing it anymore. Now MIL won't go at all. I know she feels sorry for them, but come on! She still has 3 other grandkids too!!

Two years ago I took all 5 of the grandkids to get their pictures taken together. I put them all in frames and gave them to MIL for Christmas. She opened them and started crying and said "You got pictures of Jamie and Kayla too" (that's the other two). So last year, I never gave her a picture of our kids and she never asked for one. All I've heard is how I need to get a hold of Sharon (the Aunt) and make plans to get their pictures taken again. She keeps sending me coupons for Sears Portrait Studio. She can kiss it!!!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Wow Jennifer, that lady sure has some issues!

 

[jenniferlynne]

Yeah, my husband thinks she is loosing it. My FIL is just as nice as can be. We feel sorry for him having to put up with her. Sometimes I think she sees Jamie (a boy) as his Dad (James) that died. She's on all types of medication for depression and other things right now. We just never know from day to day what her mood will be.

I homeschool TJ and she thinks that is just horrible. She says I am ruining him. This past week, the school in the county next to us had 8 kids (the number keeps going up) get E Coli poisoning. Two of the kids are in very serious condition, one of them is having kidney failure. Then last night I heard that another kid in another county has it too. I am thankful I can keep him home.

 

[amy07]

I think I married someone related to them......at least we live 2500 miles apart......

LOL! What a nice way to put that Linda!

 

[amy07]

Can I add my MIL to this list? Actually I could add them all. Once I asked my MIL to watch my kids so that I could go to a class, she told me no because.........You're gonna love this.........she "had to bake brownies". Uh hello? We have an oven! You could bake them with the kids. They will only watch my children if it only benefits DH, as in I'm at work and he wants to do something but it would be too hard with the kids in tow.

Another good one is when DH's brother got married last year, they (MIL, FIL, and the couple) didn't want me or my DS (from my 1st marriage) who was the ringbearer in any of the pictures because of the same thing about after the divorce it will just ruin the album. The only reason they wanted DS to be the ringbearer is that they didn't have any other little boys to ask, and it wouldn't be an "appropriate & traditional" wedding without one!

 

[chefheidi2003]

Another good one is when DH's brother got married last year, they (MIL, FIL, and the couple) didn't want me or my DS (from my 1st marriage) who was the ringbearer in any of the pictures because of the same thing about after the divorce it will just ruin the album. The only reason they wanted DS to be the ringbearer is that they didn't have any other little boys to ask, and it wouldn't be an "appropriate & traditional" wedding without one!

Too bad you didn't know this before hand so that you could tell them that you didn't want him in the wedding.

 

[ahammons]

Wow, I feel pretty lucky - I love my MIL to death! I'm actually closer to her than my own mother (long history w/ that one! lol). She told DH that if he hadn't of married me, she would have adopted me! She's such an awesome grandma too. She loves to watch the boys, and will do so any time I ask. There's no way she'd take money for it, or anything she buys them. DH's parents are divorced and live in different states, so I actually have two sets of in-laws. The only one I've ever had an issue with is DH's stepmom - she asked if we've taken our oldest DS to a "specialist" because he cries so much! Are you freaking kidding me? He's 3, and we have to drive at least 5 hours just to get to their house, so yeah, he's going to be grumpy when his schedule gets messed up. Not to mention the fact that he's still trying to adjust to DH being gone. (Not to mention, she asked me this as we were on the way to the doctor's office b/c DS had pink eye - gee, I wonder why he was crying!) I was so mad, I cut our trip short and headed back home! lol It's been a couple of months since that happened, so I'm slowly getting over it. DH has 5 brothers (full, half, and step in the mix) and 3 of them have kids as well - sometimes it seems like their kids are treated better than ours and one of our nieces b/c they live closer to his dad, but being the only grandchildren for my parents and his mom definitely makes up for it! They are way too spoiled! lol

 

[Jewel]

I keep threatening to write a book about my soap opera life. My SIL actually called Social Services on me once b/c my DS had a diaper rash. I could go on all day about my DH family, hence the book idea. Sounds like some of us could start a support group.:yuck:

 

[dannyzmom]

I pray I am NEVER the MIL-from_hell to my sons' wives.
When I left my ex-DH, he took my car, my cell phone, etc...I ended up in a tiny apartment (from a 3600 sq foot mini-mansion) with my parents helpnig to support me. That sent my mom thru the ROOF. She has always said that if my brother's wife ever decides to leave him, kick him out, etc...my mom says "That is the mother of my grandchildren and I would NEVER allow him to take her car, etc. If they ever divorce, I will pay off their mortgage and buy her a car before I see my granddaughters living in a dump the way those people left you..." My mom can be a bit of a pain to my SIl sometimes, but they have a GREAT relationship and my mom will always treat her like gold. I hope to be like that for my DILs someday.

 

[tinat51796]

I'm glad I'm not the only one with MIL issues! my MIL keeps my son three days a week and my sister keeps him one day a week. I usually don't have to drop him off or pick up, sice dh goes to work later and usually gets done before me. I am really looking for a daycare to send ds to...MIL has four dogs (big ones) that are in and out of the house plus she smokes (and so do most of dh's family). DH and I don't smoke and we've asked them not to smoke around our son....I can't prove anything different but I hate that when he comes home at night he smells like smoke. Plus he's always got dog and cat hair on him....I'm allergic to both so some nights my eyes and nose start bothering me after just a couple minutes with him. Anything that I ask her to do (or not do) she does the opposite. DH doesn't see it. I can't wait to find a daycare to get him into...actually I'd love to find a nanny. Guess I better just start selling a lot of PC so I can quit my day job and stay home with my baby!

 

[raebates]

There is one silver lining in having a MIL who's, um, less than ideal. I plan to be the best MIL ever to the young woman blessed enough to marry my son. I've experienced first-hand (and, through the years, second- and third-hand) how not to treat your son's wife.I have also given my DS my blessing to call me on the carpet if I ever do anything that upsets his wife. The Furry Guy is wonderful at protecting me by standing up to his mom. We have both let our DS know that it is his job to protect his wife, even if it's from his own mom and dad.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

There is one silver lining in having a MIL who's, um, less than ideal. I plan to be the best MIL ever to the young woman blessed enough to marry my son. I've experienced first-hand (and, through the years, second- and third-hand) how not to treat your son's wife.I have also given my DS my blessing to call me on the carpet if I ever do anything that upsets his wife. The Furry Guy is wonderful at protecting me by standing up to his mom. We have both let our DS know that it is his job to protect his wife, even if it's from his own mom and dad.

My MIL is pretty great - and she is good to me, I think mostly because DH had an extremely hurtful first marriage, and she likes that he is happy, and gets to be a daddy. With that said, sometimes there are some big differences of opinion on issues between our family (DH and I) and the rest of his family....and it always makes me feel good when I don't have to say a word in my defense, because I know DH will speak for me with his family.I've never had to experience MIL issues - both sides of the family with my grandparents were great with my parents, and my parents love my DH. I have already determined to be the best MIL I can be....and have already begun praying for my sons future mate.