Are Martha Stewart's Cooking Tips Practical for Everyday Women?

[colegrovet]

Sorry if I offend any Martha Stewart fans.....



Real Woman vs. Martha Stewart

Martha's way #1:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice
cream drips.

The Real Women's Way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you
are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
~~~~~

Martha's way #2:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

The Real Women's Way:
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
~~~~~

Martha's way #3:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry
cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

The Real Women's Way:
Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
~~~~~

Martha's way #4:
If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up."

The Real Women's Way:
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too darn bad. Please
recite with me, The Real Women's motto: The way I make it is the way you eat
it, and the way you like it!!!
~~~~~

Martha's way #5:
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will
keep for weeks.

The Real Women's Way:
Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
~~~~~

Martha's way #6:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful
glossy finish.

The Real Women's Way:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over
the crust so I just don't do it.
~~~~~

Martha's way #7:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead.
The throbbing will go away.

The Real Women's Way:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have
the headache, but who cares?
~~~~~

Martha's way #8:
If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They
give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Women's Way:
Ask "useless" to do it, while he's sitting on his butt watching TV.
~~~~~

And finally the most important tip

Martha's way #9:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use
in casseroles and sauces.

The Real Women's Way:
Leftover wine??????





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[pkd09]

This is a keeper! lol

 

[chefann]

This was already included in the humor thread.

http://www.chefsuccess.com/f18/offi...-american-humor-16228/index25.html#post221463

 

[colegrovet]

guess I need to catch up on "The Official Continuing Discussion of American Humor"

 

[3RingChef]

Dear fellow foodie,

I have to say, I couldn't help but chuckle at your post. I completely understand where you're coming from. Sometimes, Martha's tips and tricks can seem a little over-the-top and unrealistic for the average person. But hey, to each their own, right?

I will say, as a Pampered Chef consultant, I have learned a few tricks of my own that I think you might appreciate. For example, instead of using latex dishwashing gloves to open jars, try using our Jar Opener tool. It's a game changer! And for those times when you do have leftover wine (I know, it's rare), you can use our Quick-Stir Pitcher to mix up a delicious sangria or other cocktail using those frozen wine cubes.

But of course, at the end of the day, we all have our own ways of doing things in the kitchen. Whether it's sucking the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone or buying pre-made mashed potatoes, as long as it works for you, that's all that matters.

Happy cooking (or not cooking, in some cases)!