Negativity - Is It Hurting Your Business?

[pampered1224]

Julie, that's where I goofed! First with my other half getting sick in July 2008 and being laid up for 4 months. Our finances went down the drain very quickly as his disability was down almost $650 a month. I kept working my butt off with my business and at my FT but to no avail. It just kept getting worse. I sortta just slid into the negative and as things just kept adding up, it really just kept getting worse. After he started going to work again, I had to get up much earlier than I usually did and I had to make sure he could get in and out of the shower, get to work as he still could not drive for almost another month putting us into late January with that routine. In the mean time, we were falling further behind money wise as I could not get enough bookings to make up for what we had already behind. Oh what I did not mention was that we forked out over $3000 in therapy and equipment costs for him as well. Every minute of everyday was spent dwelling on how bad things were for us. By the time I could not take it anymore, it was late July, 2009. I hit rock bottom in a depression like nothing I had ever felt before. On a certain Friday I was sitting at my desk at work, I got another collection call and that was it. I left work, walked out to my car and decided to just go. I was just gonna drive until I ran out of gas. The problem was, I had less than an eighth of a tank! I might get 20 miles. On top of that I had another problem and I have never told anyone else this except my director. In July Pat still had credit cards that had credit on them. I borrowed the money from an $800 party fully intending to pay it with a credit card. Well, it bounced out of my account and HO wanted their money. I was so down at that point on the Friday that I contacted all my up-line that I had e-mail addresses for and quit PC. Only because I was so ashamed of what I had done. This all took over a month and half to catch up with. Stealing from Peter to pay Paul, you know? Well, my director got to me not contact HO to officially quit. By this time too I had stopped even trying to book parties. About a week later, we contacted a lawyer and got a meeting for August 22nd. In the mean time we were told point blank we could NOT use any of our credit cards! OMG! I could not pay PC. That was also the day I decided I needed to talk to my doctor about my depression. I was not sleeping, I had gained about 40 pounds and just could not function. I was always grouchy and sullen. EVERYONE knew something was very wrong. He put my on Cymbalta. It helped a lot. After our meeting on the 22nd, things started to look better and I started to feel better. The 24th the papers were filled. We still had the hurtle of the court date which was a little over a month later on the 30th. Oh I should state here too that we were getting about 60 calls a day from creditors. A DAY!! Every time that phone rang, I would go into a funk. We have a phone whose ring can not be shut off. On the 22nd I finally unplugged it. However, the negativity lingered. I bounced up and down until September 30th. We went to court and no one showed up. What I did not know was that I had forgotten one company. So until the 31st of January, 2010 I am still paying them $50 a week. I am also paying my lawyer bill until then too. That is $350 a month. One whole unemployment check. So in between I lost my job of 10 years. I still have problems with that because I can not wrap my head around the fact that it was not my fault. But you still feel like, why was I not good enough. It also does not help that while job hunting, you get told that you are over qualified or that we need to know what you know and you do not have the certifications we need to see. So now I am faced with having to go to school to get those certifications which I can not afford to do right now and the one class I can afford is not being offered until fall! So you see why I am negative. But, here is the kicker. With the Incentive thread and this one, I realized something important. I still have PC. It is a major positive in my life right now. It is something I love and thanks to the finance department at HO I am paying them back slowly - in fact my last parties commission took care of it! It also took all of you to point out that for every negative, there are positives! Not in those words of course but when you said we make our business what we want it to be, it was then that I knew I had all I needed and even if I could not grasp the brass ring, I had something to work toward. Even if it is just the paycheck. With allowing that negative thinking to seep in in July of 2008, I also allowed to bloom and take over. And it actually became comfortable to feel miserable because the alternative would have been to fight it. I was too tired and too confused to even try. Well I AM NOT gonna sit and wallow in it any more! The only thing I have left to fight is unemployment and I have the tool already! So I am going to stop biting the hand that feeds us - my PC business and HO - and get to work! Yes, I still feel inadaquate to a degree but that will change as my PC victories increase. If I work half as hard on my PC business as I did with the Universal Mortgage, then hey, there ain't nothing I won't be able to do! I just have to trust myself enough to know that I can do it. And you all have helped me see that nothing I do can be wrong. The only thing wrong is if I don't try! AND BOBBI - it is funny that I typed stinker but that it is much more appropriate dontcha think? Oh and venting here is wonderful and therapeutic. Venting is NOT negative it is a positive as long as down the road you can release!

 

[beckyjsmith]

Good for her. I'm happy for her and her goal.

As for me, other things, including the career I have invested 15 years into, plus a college degree, take priority over PC. For other people, PC is a means for them to stay home with their kids. It's your life, your way, not your life, somebody else's way. In other words, I am happy when people achieve goals that are higher than mine. I only bristle when somebody says, "I do it, or somebody busier than you does it, so there is no excuse for you not doing it too."

(DISCLAIMER: I am not saying that you or anybody said that. I've just seen too much of that in general.)

I get to go back to work now ...

I wouldn't say it's no excuse for you not doing it. It is more like, don't say that's the reason why you're not doing it. I too have a career and a college degree, and I give equal priority to each job. We're going to Disney... Level 4 this year. I have 4 kids and a husband that travels. I understand that my goals are not yours, but at least be honest and say," I don't put as much effort into my business as someone else might because that is not my priority," as opposed to," I leave that to people who don't have full time jobs and make PC their full time priority."
I only bristle when people say things like that because some other newbie who works full time might be reading this with hopes of building his or her business so that they can make PC their first work priority, and think it is not possible or even plausible, when the fact is that there are tons of us who do it every day.

 

[pampered1224]

"I only bristle when people say things like that because some other newbie who works full time might be reading this with hopes of building his or her business so that they can make PC their first work priority, and think it is not possible or even plausible, when the fact is that there are tons of us who do it every day."So true, so true Becky. We are lying to everyone and ourselves if we ever say "I can't". We would be telling the truth though if we say "I won't". It is NOT a matter of whether it can be done or can not be done but rather whether we choose to try or not. I was an "I can't" until I realized I was lying to myself and that I am really an "I won't try". Why is the part that becomes different for each of us. I didn't want to try because I was afraid of failing. For someone else it might be that the why is because they do not want to work that hard. And that can be broken down further to include I won't because I do work full time and I can not do that much. (Now remember here that it sounds like a negative excuse to everyone but the person saying it. Whether it is negative or factual should not be ours to figure out or judge. That is the choice of the person making it.) For others the why might be because they have enough to satisfy themselves the way they are. And that too is OK with HO or they would not allow hobbyists or part timers to stay active. So we can not judge. You can argue the "I can't" to an "I won't" but none of us can argue the why because that is totally a personal choice.
And Di - Yes, I hate it when someone says there is no excuse for you not to be doing it too. Well, yes there is NO EXCUSE for me not doing what everyone else is doing. There is however a choice I made for me not trying. And it is personal.

 

[pamperedlinda]

I posted this last year, but it seems appropriate to post it again. This is from Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen

RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF EXPECTANCY

God is extremely interested in what you see through your “spiritual eyes”. If you have a vision for victory in your life, you can rise to a new level. But as long as your gaze is on the ground instead of on your possibilities, you risk moving in the wrong direction and missing out on the great things God wants to do in and through you. It’s a spiritual as well as a psychological fact: We move toward what we see in our minds.

Your life will follow your expectations. What you expect is what you will get. If you dwell on positive thoughts, your life will move in that direction; if you continually think negative thoughts, you will live a negative life. If you expect defeat, failure, or mediocrity, your subconscious mind will make sure that you lose, fail, or sabotage every attempt to push above average. If you raise your level of expectancy, you will enlarge your vision.

It’s important that you program your mind for success. You must think positive thoughts of victory, of abundance, of favor, of hope. Each day, you must choose to live with an attitude that expects good things to happen to you. Start your day with faith and set your mind in the right direction, then go out expecting the favor of God. Expect to excel in your career and rise above life’s challenges. Believe God for a great future. You have good things coming!

THIS COULD BE THE DAY YOU SEE YOUR MIRACLE.

 

[pampered1224]

Awesome Linda!

Someone once told me, as I was brought up Catholic and believed in Heaven and Hell, that when we do look down, it is exactly where Satan wants us to look. No belief in a higher power? Just keep looking toward the sun. The center of all "natural" power.