Looking for Feedback on My Incentive Offer: How Can I Make It More Appealing?

[kcmckay]

I really want a strong June so I'm offering a really good incentive for bookings. I just would like feedback on wording or how I can make it seem more appealing. It may seem like it's high but I have hefty goals and I want to achieve them. I would still appreciate any feed back. Thanks

 

[doughmama]

Be careful! Unless I read it wrong, you are offering all these things but there is no minimum for a show. Someone can have a $150 party and then you are giving them $30 - $40 in free stuff... Offer some things but don't come off so needy - you want it to sound as if you are doing them a favor for hosting a show, not the other way around. Your calendar is filled but you are looking to have the best ever month so last chance to join in - what about June dollar days? Book a party and on the day of the month that it is held, they get any item ($35 item of their choice) for that price - ie June 1st gets something for a dollar.

 

[Melissa78]

If you use this flyer you have a typo:

"Also anyone who hosts a June show will receive on of May’s exclusive pink products that help benefit the American Cancer Society." (should be 'one' not 'on')

Good luck!

 

[kcmckay]

Ok I tweaked it a little so I won't spend quite so much without benefiting from it. I will still welcome any feedback on it however.

 

[doughmama]

am I missing something - looks the same to me??

 

[kcmckay]

Sorry must not have saved it after I changed it before. Let me try again.

 

[Jess_K]

the way I read it was book a cooking show, book a cooking show. I missed "catalog" and "cooking" I'd probably seperate them so that one paragraph talks about "cooking" shows and one "catalog" shows. Make it as easy and simple to read as possible. Good luck!