It Finally Happened...now What Do I Say?

[kristina16marie]

I have a past host that I've been gently suggesting sign with PC. Last year when she hosted I asked her & she said maybe when her last kid starts college next year (which is now this year). So, I've had it in the back of my mind to bring it up again as soon as her kid goes off to college in about a month....in the meantime she told me she wants to host another show. I JUST emailed her a list of my available dates FOUR days ago!!! And today I get an email invitation saying she just signed with Scentsy and is having a kickoff next weekend! :grumpy:

Now, what I want to say is "What were you thinking-why didn't you sign with PC?!?" But what should I actually say? Should I still followup and see if she wants to host a show? Should I ask her why she decided to sign with them & not PC or will that sound petty?

 

[lesliec]

Just be supportive. There's nothing you can do now.

 

[AJPratt]

I would say "Congratulations, Scentsy is a wonderful company and I wish you the best of luck! Perhaps we can swap shows once you get settled in!" She can always change her mind down the road. Its tough to experience this. I have time and time again for a number of reasons. Sometimes I had dropped the ball; other times, I hadn't and they just chose the other company. If you can attend her kick off show, I would.

 

[RMDave]

Yes everybody will suggest the positive (and appropriate) response. Go with their suggestions.If it was me, I would start off my note to her with "Listen here, B!TCH!" Don't follow my example.

 

[Liquid Sky]

Yes everybody will suggest the positive (and appropriate) response. Go with their suggestions.

If it was me, I would start off my note to her with "Listen here, B!TCH!" Don't follow my example.

ROFL! Classic

 

[tys1031]

Yes everybody will suggest the positive (and appropriate) response. Go with their suggestions.

If it was me, I would start off my note to her with "Listen here, B!TCH!" Don't follow my example.

I could totally see that, too, Dave!!!

 

[kristina16marie]

If it was me, I would start off my note to her with "Listen here, B!TCH!" Don't follow my example.

yes i was thinking something along those lines! lol

 

[AJPratt]

Yes everybody will suggest the positive (and appropriate) response. Go with their suggestions.

If it was me, I would start off my note to her with "Listen here, B!TCH!" Don't follow my example.

Hey, I'm from Jersey! That is ALWAYS my initial response! LOL

 

[Chefgirl2]

Well, at least it wasn't your sister that you were trying to recruit telling you she is now a "Stampin Up Demonstrator...and you owe her. Will you have a show?"

Like one of my sister's did 9 years ago. She didn't tell me what Stampin up was or why I should have a show...other than I owed her. She had a good show, my daughter had extremely expensive play stamps and I was irritated until about a year ago. I should tell you about the candle she stamped for mom's funeral. I was so irritated. I wondered if she was going to put business cards on mom's chest for the guests. We all got a candle with mom's picture on it...it's in my daughter's room. Maybe I'm not over it. I was washing dishes at dad's on Sunday and relived it all again when I saw it on the window sil.

So, be happy, find the good and make the best of it. Don't stew like I did/am. Scentsy has a good product. But, how many do we need in a house? It is very new and the reps are doing well for now. We have an amazing line of products that everyone could use from each collection. Don't let this set you back because you never know - she might change her mind one day and sign up with you.

 

[AJPratt]

Wow, Elaine. I am speechless. That stinks about your sister signing with another company. Not sure how I would feel about the candle thing, either.

 

[kristina16marie]

elaine, that would make me mad too. and i agree - how many candles do you need in a house? i mean, really.

 

[Chefgirl2]

Now, just be thankful that they don't sell these candles. I thought about posting a picture of it, but my luck someone we know would get wind of it. So...it is a picture of my parents taken at my brother's wedding. It is a nice picture. Until you glue it on a fat pillar, set it by funeral flowers and tell EVERYONE how you made it and that you are now a "Stampin Up" demonstator. She also stamped a memory book. The candle isn't horrible. The memories it stirs up are horrible.

I think my recent peace came through my own personal changes (not menopausal). I have taken on a ton of responsibilities that I never thought I was "smart enough" to do. I never tried. Thanks, therapy! I realised that she brags and tries so hard so people will see her value. She also belittled others so she seemed superior. That insight made me so sad and kind of sick that I wasted so much energy being angry at her. I am believing in myself more than ever. We all have value. I really hope she finds hers soon.

She is a wonderful mother, and hopefully we will get closer as I take on more challenges and she mellows.

 

[AJPratt]

I realised that she brags and tries so hard so people will see her value. She also belittled others so she seemed superior. That insight made me so sad and kind of sick that I wasted so much energy being angry at her. I am believing in myself more than ever. We all have value. I really hope she finds hers soon.

How sad for her. I have never been one to need to make someone else look bad to make myself look good. I have always felt sorry for people like that. And way to go on your personal growth! I, too, am looking forward to some much-needed healing.

 

[Sheila]

Each person who signs with a DS company, has to go with their gut. They have to have a passion for the product to do well in the business. If she wasn't feeling that PC was the best choice, but Scentsy was, you should congratulate her in her new endeavor and be happy for her. Think of it like a stick of gum. If you offered her big red & the person standing next to you had Juicy Fruit, would you be mad if she preferred the milder taste? No! You'd put your pack back in your purse and move on without any hurt feelings. This business is the SAME thing! If it's something that sounds good to them, great! If they see something else they like better, be happy for them and don't let it bother you. They have to do what they want to do, not what they feel obligated to do. If she had felt obligated, signed & then flaked out in a couple of months, you'd have wasted a LOT of time & energy in training her.

 

[kristina16marie]

UPDATE - I emailed her and said that I was happy for her but was unable to make her kickoff show because I already have a show booked. Now she wante me to book a show for her to "help her out".

How do I nicely say "I don't want to have one of those shows because I don't want any candles and IF I have an open date on my calendar I need to book a PC show!"

 

[babywings76]

You could say that you are trying to focus on your business right now, but you'd be happy to pass along her contact info along if you hear of people looking for a Scentsy rep. You could also contemplate doing a multi-vendor event in the future and keep her in mind, or let her know of any vendor events in the area that come up.

 

[kayleigh]

Yes everybody will suggest the positive (and appropriate) response. Go with their suggestions.

If it was me, I would start off my note to her with "Listen here, B!TCH!" Don't follow my example.

LOL.... I so know what you mean...... LOL

 

[lesliec]

You could say that you are trying to focus on your business right now, but you'd be happy to pass along her contact info along if you hear of people looking for a Scentsy rep. You could also contemplate doing a multi-vendor event in the future and keep her in mind, or let her know of any vendor events in the area that come up.

I agree, only thing I might change is saying that your calendar is so full instead of that you are focusing on PC. She did host a show for you, so you don't want to come across selfish or ungreatful, but you are not obligated to host one for her.

 

[vgibsonrn]

Just grateful I don't have a sister to mess with my mind or business...life is hard enough...and I love Dave's response...not that I would EVER say something like that

 

[Chefgirl2]

You don't owe her anything. You did your job and helped her have a successful show. Scentsy has a great product so if you want to have a party then do it. When others try to get me to do shows I usually offer to get them invitatons to vendor events or refer them to others looking for their products.

 

[AJPratt]

You could always say that its not a good time right now, that any nights you're not doing a show, you'd like to spend time with your family. If you think you might be interested down the road, ask her to follow up with you in a few months.

I agree with Elaine. You don't owe her anything. Don't feel obligated at all.

 

[Chefgirl2]

Thanks Anne! I hope you are going to National Conference because I would love to finally meet up!

 

[kristina16marie]

this is what i ended up emailing her:
Unfortunately, I'm super sensitive to smells so hosting a party is not in my future. BUT - I will absolutely pass your info along to anyone I know who might be interested in booking with you. I'll also make sure to let you know of any upcoming vendor booths and at Christmas I plan on having a multi-vendor event at my house.

i wasn't lying - i can't wear purfume or be around strong scents at all anymore. and i hope i was firm but kind in letting her know i wouldn't be doing one in the future either. thank you so much for all your help!