kcjodih
Gold Member
- 3,408
So about an hour ago my 11 yo DS comes upstairs and tells me he's 'bored'. This is after just having his time on the computer and then playing 1/2 an hour of video games with his dad. I guess now that he wasn't being 'entertained' he was 'bored'.
I shared with him different things that he could do such as reading a book, painting a model (he started his first model, a car a few months ago but never finished it), building with his lego, drawing pics (which he usually loves to do) etc. He said nope, nope, nope. Hmmm, how about the computer?
I said no, you know the rule, one hour a day and that's it. He starts pouting so I suggest he go down and play on one of his TWO guitars that he hasn't touched in a year! He got his acoustic one for his 9th birthday after asking, with the agreement that he'd take lessons. After taking lessons once a week for 4 months or so he said he wanted an electric one. We told him a year and a half of lessons and maybe. Then DH decides without consulting me to purchase one for him for his 10th birthday - so not even a year of lessons. Within two months after receiving the electric one it was a fight to go to lessons and we gave up. Now both guitars sit in his room. I'm tempted to sell them but think what happens if, just IF, he decides to pick it up again in a year or two. Maybe they'd be too small though? Hmmm...not sure.
Anyway, he says I wish I had a laptop of my own (like I do). I said they were very expensive and even if he did have one he would still only get an hour a day on it. (I limit how much time both he and my 14yo DD spend on there, video games AND tv so they actually DO something!) He said how about I sell my guitars and use it towards a laptop?
This is where I LOST IT!! I stated that if HE hadn't asked for these because HE wanted them then maybe the money could have actually gone towards a laptop down the road. But instead HE asked for an expensive item for his birthday and that was the ONE item he got each year from us. The second year his uncle bought him a hard sided guitar case for the electric guitar, someone bought him a gift certificate for music books or whatever and his godmother got him a guitar stand! All sitting unused.
I also stated that IF these were sold it would be money back in OUR pockets not his since these were bought with MY hard earned $ for him to NOT use more than a couple times. He said but they were my gifts, I should get the money! Hmm...good point, what do you think?
Anyway, the conversation progressed to all the things he's 'asked for' over the years for Christmases and bdays that are sitting in their original boxes under the stairs. He usually asks for something bigger that's $100 - $150 and we'll end up getting that from us and then a couple smaller things from Santa. And we'll get him one large thing like that for his birthday which is in November. So 2 large things from us a year. Also when the in-laws saw that he wasn't playing with much they would ask for ideas from him and then SIL, BIL and MIL would combine to get him ANOTHER large item for his birthday from them. So 3 larger gifts each year.
He's got about 6 dragon castles with accessories in boxes used only a couple of times but he HAD to have them for his 6th, 7th and 8th bdays etc. A Knex roller coaster that he only built 1/4 of with regular help from DH and then it sat for 4 months until I asked him to box it up since we were moving. Of course where is it now? Under the stairs. Never touched since we moved here a year and a half ago. Also some sort of wall climbing truck/car thing that was $100 and only used once or twice. SO frustrating!
By the end of our long discussion turned argument, I said to him that since he's so bored and he's only got one hockey game this weekend and it's a three day weekend he could do something constructive that would be helpful to all starting NOW! Get downstairs, get one of those boxes out from under the stairs, put it together so I could take pics so I could sell it online. This would solve 3 things...his boredom, dad needing space under the stairs for storage, and mom getting money for all these wasted gifts!
First he was stomping around banging things and now's he's alternating between banging things around and pouting as he builds. I told him one tonight, two tomorrow, Sunday and Monday (takes him about an hour each time) and let me know when each one's done so I can ensure all pieces are there, take pics and post.
Now I'm feeling horrible but I don't want to back down! He's not pouting at all about me getting rid of them, just that I'm making him put them together!!
I shared with him different things that he could do such as reading a book, painting a model (he started his first model, a car a few months ago but never finished it), building with his lego, drawing pics (which he usually loves to do) etc. He said nope, nope, nope. Hmmm, how about the computer?
I said no, you know the rule, one hour a day and that's it. He starts pouting so I suggest he go down and play on one of his TWO guitars that he hasn't touched in a year! He got his acoustic one for his 9th birthday after asking, with the agreement that he'd take lessons. After taking lessons once a week for 4 months or so he said he wanted an electric one. We told him a year and a half of lessons and maybe. Then DH decides without consulting me to purchase one for him for his 10th birthday - so not even a year of lessons. Within two months after receiving the electric one it was a fight to go to lessons and we gave up. Now both guitars sit in his room. I'm tempted to sell them but think what happens if, just IF, he decides to pick it up again in a year or two. Maybe they'd be too small though? Hmmm...not sure.
Anyway, he says I wish I had a laptop of my own (like I do). I said they were very expensive and even if he did have one he would still only get an hour a day on it. (I limit how much time both he and my 14yo DD spend on there, video games AND tv so they actually DO something!) He said how about I sell my guitars and use it towards a laptop?
This is where I LOST IT!! I stated that if HE hadn't asked for these because HE wanted them then maybe the money could have actually gone towards a laptop down the road. But instead HE asked for an expensive item for his birthday and that was the ONE item he got each year from us. The second year his uncle bought him a hard sided guitar case for the electric guitar, someone bought him a gift certificate for music books or whatever and his godmother got him a guitar stand! All sitting unused.
I also stated that IF these were sold it would be money back in OUR pockets not his since these were bought with MY hard earned $ for him to NOT use more than a couple times. He said but they were my gifts, I should get the money! Hmm...good point, what do you think?
Anyway, the conversation progressed to all the things he's 'asked for' over the years for Christmases and bdays that are sitting in their original boxes under the stairs. He usually asks for something bigger that's $100 - $150 and we'll end up getting that from us and then a couple smaller things from Santa. And we'll get him one large thing like that for his birthday which is in November. So 2 large things from us a year. Also when the in-laws saw that he wasn't playing with much they would ask for ideas from him and then SIL, BIL and MIL would combine to get him ANOTHER large item for his birthday from them. So 3 larger gifts each year.
He's got about 6 dragon castles with accessories in boxes used only a couple of times but he HAD to have them for his 6th, 7th and 8th bdays etc. A Knex roller coaster that he only built 1/4 of with regular help from DH and then it sat for 4 months until I asked him to box it up since we were moving. Of course where is it now? Under the stairs. Never touched since we moved here a year and a half ago. Also some sort of wall climbing truck/car thing that was $100 and only used once or twice. SO frustrating!
By the end of our long discussion turned argument, I said to him that since he's so bored and he's only got one hockey game this weekend and it's a three day weekend he could do something constructive that would be helpful to all starting NOW! Get downstairs, get one of those boxes out from under the stairs, put it together so I could take pics so I could sell it online. This would solve 3 things...his boredom, dad needing space under the stairs for storage, and mom getting money for all these wasted gifts!
First he was stomping around banging things and now's he's alternating between banging things around and pouting as he builds. I told him one tonight, two tomorrow, Sunday and Monday (takes him about an hour each time) and let me know when each one's done so I can ensure all pieces are there, take pics and post.
Now I'm feeling horrible but I don't want to back down! He's not pouting at all about me getting rid of them, just that I'm making him put them together!!
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