How are you coping with Mother's Day after losing your mom to cancer?

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Discussion Overview

This thread centers around participants sharing their personal experiences and feelings regarding coping with Mother's Day after losing their mothers to cancer. Many express empathy and support for one another during this difficult time, reflecting on memories and the emotional challenges they face.

Discussion Character

  • Anecdotal
  • Opinion-based

Main Points Raised

  • One participant, identifying as a consultant, shares that her mother passed away on June 9th of the previous year after battling cancer, and she finds it difficult to cope with reminders during this time.
  • Several participants express their condolences and support for the original poster, Kathy, acknowledging the emotional difficulty of the upcoming Mother's Day.
  • Another participant recounts her experience of losing her mother-in-law to cancer on the same date and emphasizes the importance of remembering good times.
  • One participant shares a comforting experience of moving into her childhood home and finding peace in watching birds that remind her of her mother.
  • Another participant reflects on the lasting impact of losing a mother and encourages cherishing memories while allowing oneself to grieve.
  • Several users mention the significance of keeping memories alive and suggest journaling as a way to cope with loss.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants generally express agreement on the emotional challenges of coping with loss, sharing similar sentiments about the importance of remembering good times and supporting one another. However, there is no clear consensus on specific coping strategies.

Contextual Notes

The discussion is framed around personal experiences of loss and the shared understanding of grief within the community, particularly as it relates to Mother's Day.

Who May Find This Useful

This thread may resonate with members of the consultant community who have experienced similar losses and are seeking a space to share their feelings and find support.

K
Kathytnt
Messages
2,616
My mom passed away on June 9th of last year after a tough bout with cancer. She was in the hospital for the last time on Mother's day last year. As many of you know I got started with PC to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I almost hate watching tv or getting on the internet because there are constant reminders.
I know at least one of my fellow cheffers is going through the same thing (((HUGS Kelly))) Seems our Mom's passed with in just a few days of each other.
I am thankful that I have a Bridal Shower for a 20th wedding anniversary and renewal fo vows the night before so hopefully this Naughty Chef SHower will help distract me

Just wanted to share - Thanks, Kat
 
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I am so sorry Kathy.Good luck with the shower, I am sure that makes it easier to keep busy...
 
I'm so sorry. May your sweet memories outweigh your sadness.
 
My thoughts will be with you Kathy. I am so sorry :(
 
I'm so sorry too, Kathy. I'll be thinking of you and hoping things go ok for you over the next couple months. Good luck with everything.
 
So sorry!I am so sorry Kathy! I can't imagine what you are feeling since you lost your mother. My mother is very important to me and even though she had me at a young age and I keep thinking she will be with me forever, she won't and I will pray that the Lord will comfort you through this tough time.
My friend from church who is in the military moved away to Florida. We were so sad, and we miss them very much. She found out she was pregnant a few weeks after her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She just passed away last month. It is so hard for her right now and I would ask that everyone please lift her up in prayer.
Kathy remember the good times and remember it's ok to cry and just take some time to think of how special she is to you and the special things she did for you and with you!!

Debbie :D
 
***Background info to those who don't know, I lost my Mom on June 13th, Kathy lost her Mom on June 9th.....


Kathy~

You know you are in my prayers.

Hopefully this June won't be terribly hard on either of us. God got me (and you) through the funeral, and the months following, so I know he is with both of us now and he will strengthen us and give us the support we need to get through the first anniversary of losing our moms.

BTW- let me just tell you one way that He helped me over this winter... My family and I actually moved into my Mom's house in December (long story, my parents were seperated, but nothing done legally so the house is 100% my Dad's since she passed. He is letting us stay here---for the better school system and neighborhood---and eventually we will be purchasing the house from him.) Being in my childhood home/neighborhood has been a real comfort to me. But, what I really wanted to share is about some birds...

My Mom LOVED watching the birds. We would be on the phone talking and she would tell me about the cardinals that would be in the tree outside of the kitchen window. Well, we live in Ohio, so 99.9% of the birds leave for the winter. Would you believe that there were 3 cardinals and 2 blue jays that STAYED FOR THE ENTIRE WINTER!!! I really felt like my Mom was there with me sometimes. I know that sounds corney, but I know that God sent those birds for me. They were there everyday, and I got a sense of peace watching them!

{{{{{{{[HUGS to you Kathy!}}}}}}}}}}}}
 
  • Thread starter
  • #8
You all are the greatest!!! Thanks for sharing from your hearts
 
*snugs* kathy, this will be a tough time for you. Try to remember the good moments you had together. Maybe start a diary of "good times with mom" so while you are mourning you also bring forth the good times.
 
I lost my mother-in-law on the 9th of June to cancer several years ago. Remember the good times.
You are in our thoughts.
 
My heart goes out to you. My mom died 5 years ago 2 weeks before Mother's Day from Lung Cancer. She passed in my home under the care of Hospice. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about her and would give anything to spend time with her again. You will think about her all day; have a good cry, but also laugh about the funny things and reminice about the number of years you had with her. If we could make a law about death it should be that mom's never die.
 
Kelly,
I'm so sorry for your loss and what you're going through, too. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers at this tough time of the year.
 
My thoughts are with both of you as well. Kelly, your story is not corny..I totally believe our loved ones that are gone are right beside us everyday...the birds are her way of letting you know she is with you..
I can imagine how hard this upcoming month will be.....cheerish the memories
 
Hugs to Kelly and Kathy...I lost my dad in Jan. '06 to amyloidosis - unexpected diagnosis - short time to death... My mom has survived cancer 3 times and is having some samples biopsied this week. Of course, my mom isn't a spring chicken anymore so I know she won't last forever.

Enjoy the things that remind you of them, the pictures, the good memories and remember, Mom's day is for you two as the generations move on! Enjoy your wonderful blessings (children) and have a good day!
 
Kathy and Kelly,

My heart goes out to you on this upcoming Mother's Day...I hope your happy memories keep you smiling. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Keep your chin up...mom wouldn't want you to be sad.
 

Frequently Asked Questions

How are you coping with Mother's Day after losing your mom to cancer?

Coping with Mother's Day after losing my mom has been incredibly challenging. I try to honor her memory by doing things she loved, like cooking her favorite recipes or spending time with family. It helps to keep her spirit alive in my heart.

What activities do you find helpful on Mother's Day?

I find that engaging in activities that remind me of my mom helps. This could be anything from visiting her favorite places, sharing stories about her, or even volunteering in her name. These activities bring me comfort and connection.

Do you have any special traditions for Mother's Day now?

Yes, I've started a new tradition of writing a letter to my mom every Mother's Day. I express my feelings, share updates about my life, and let her know how much I miss her. It’s a therapeutic way to feel connected to her.

How do you handle the emotions that come with Mother's Day?

I allow myself to feel whatever emotions arise. It's okay to feel sadness, anger, or even joy when remembering the good times. I also talk to friends or family who understand my loss, which helps me process my feelings.

What advice would you give to someone else coping with a similar loss on Mother's Day?

My advice would be to give yourself grace. It's okay to not feel okay. Find ways to honor your mom, whether through memories, rituals, or simply taking time for yourself. Surround yourself with supportive people who can help you through the day.

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