forMoms Who Have an Infent and and Older Child

[milkangel]

how do all of you that have a 2 year old and a newborn kid do it? my son just turned 2 today and we have our second one one tuesday next week. i am alittle scared and so is my hubby. My son is all over the place and gets into every thing. i know after a while it will be alittle easery after we get ajusted with the both of them together. thankfully we will be going to my parents right after we get out of the hostpital. Pray that we will make it to the hospital on tuesday because it is sposto snow next week on that day again and it is a 50% chance of snow but we will be leving at 4:55 in the morening to be there by 5:30 because it is a bout an half out toget there.

 

[jodie]

just do it. tired or not. your oldest comes first when both are crying. share bed time duties with hubby. snag a few minutes alone with oldest each day if there is anyone to help you. or snooze. power cook! i chop up all my veggies and onions/peppers and store them in containers until i need them. when you're able to slip away from the infant for one afternoon or night, rejoice. when it gets to be too much, take a deep breath. it will pass. take it one day at a time. tears are allowed. your children love you today and tomorrow.

 

[gailz2]

Definitely keep taking time to make the older child feel special -- extremely important.

 

[merego]

Mine are 12 months and 12 days apart, it was hard at first and can still be hard at times. You just do it and then you realize it is not as hard as you stressed or thought about good luck!!

 

[PamperedDor]

You just take things one day at a time and breath! The kids should be the priority first and then the rest gets done when it can - I have 5 kids, the last 2 were 15 months apart, and by then I was pretty much in a routine. I still do a routine before bed - I have a basket of laundry ready to go in the washer as soon as I get up - so I bring it down with me and put it in before I pour my coffee (which goes off on a timer at 5:00 so its ready when I get up!) Dinner is planned weekly so I have an idea of what I am making the next day as well -

Sleep when they are sleeping if needed! If not, get the stuff you can't get done finished - let your 2 year old be a helper - YOU will get thru it - its not as bad as you might think! Good luck and let us all know when you have the second one!!!!!

 

[stefani2]

Only one thing has got us through everything - ROUTINE. My kids are 11 months apart - so I have to do what works for US - and not worry about others.

#1 tip: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF so you can take care of your family in return

You need some time for/by yourself, an outlet for stress, and a supportive family/DH. EVERYday will get easier and easier - TRUST ME.

 

[koima]

My little boy is 3 and baby is 4 months old. Yep, you just do it! You get into the routine of it after a bit, but there is an adjustment period for sure.

I froze a bunch of dinners ahead of time so I didn't have to cook right away.

I also made a basket of activities that DS can only do while I'm sitting and nursing the baby. It's his project basket and he loves it! He sits at a little table near my nursing chair and I can supervise, but mostly he does them by himself.

Each project is in a zipto bag, and the bags have things like:

a tiny sheet pan and magnet numbers, and a separate set of magnet animals
bubble plastic like you'd use to protect glass in a moving box - this stuff never gets old
yarn and sandpaper (the yarn sticks and can be repositioned)
tissue squares, wax paper, and a glue stick to make "stained glass"
stickers and paper
little cups and colored pasta to sort into them
Mr.Potato Head out of felt
a lacing bead set
lacing cards
tracing patterns or coloring pages and crayons
Do-a-dot painters (he loves these!)
tiny food shaped erasers - we sort these by color, shape, size, fruit/vegetable/dairy/bread/meat. They're a big hit, too, but too little for not being supervised.
Pennies and a paper cup with a slit cut in the top so he can push the pennies through
Playdo and a little roller and cookie cutters
mini-magna doodle


I switch out the bags occasionally so there is always something new. These have saved my sanity, I'm sure! (And liberal showings of Sesame Street and Blue's Clues!)

You can get a book of activity bags here: Activities in a Bag
and more ideas on this blog: Chasing Cheerios: Toddler Activity Bags

Good luck! You do get through it! Oh, and if you haven't yet, read or see the DVD for Happiest Baby on the Block. That has been helpful on the baby end of things.

 

[lauradahl]

I remember those fears. My oldest was 2 1/2 when my youngest was born. It was AMAZING how much he helped me. He would even sit with me and he would feed baby...helping hold the bottle, give the pacifier and everything. He would lay in the floor with the baby on his blanket and share his toys...he's now 4 and still gets very proud to be my helper! Involve your oldest as much as they want to.
I also tried to keep our "routine" especially at night time. We always had bath then a Baby Einsteins movie before bed. He and I would sit in the chair together and "learn". I continued this after I came home from the hospital, 5 days after emergency c section, so it was important for me to spend one on one time with him after being away (none of us were prepared for that!).
All in all, I worried for nothing and you too will soon find out that it all falls into place...it really does. You'll look back on this and say "that wasn't so bad after all".
I took naps when my kids did and my husband helped with the household chores and such as much as he could and I of course had my mother here too as I was limited to what I could do, but keep yourself rested..as the above post said. You'll do fine.
God Bless and have a wonderful and safe delivery!

 

[pchefjaime]

I have a 4yr 2yr and a 6week all boys AAAAGGHHH. you really do just mke it work. you will learn wht works for you.

 

[princessmeshelle]

i have no idea what the other stories are, but, i just had my 2nd and i am still figuring it out. infact, my parents came to visit and my hubby got like 3 weeks off and i was thinking just go away so i can figure this out! the help was nice though... anyway, i think it is just a matter of finding your flow and going with it. i try to take it one problem at a time, you know, one baby is making a mess and one needs a diaper change, which one seems more pressing? which can wait til the other is taken care of? one thing i have found is that nap time is when i can get the most done. and i'm past the sleep when baby does stage. so, you survive it. david will be 4 mos in 5 days and i don't even know where the time went. so enjoy it while you have it.

 

[janetupnorth]

You just do it and you learn to adjust.When my son was born, DD was 2 1/2. I worked full-time, was a firefighter/EMT, started my Master's program a few months later, etc.You just have to have a routine/schedule. You'll figure it out - hang in there.

 

[pjpamchef]

I will echo the routine statements!! Also this sounds trivial, but it is important, it won't be this way forever!!! My DD's are 8 & 10, and it really doesn't seem like it was very long ago I was doing this! Grab a nap whenever you can, everything else will wait! The more rested you are, the better job you will do.

 

[swinkate]

I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 months old. The baby is easy... the toddler wants all the attention!
My top tips are to get out of the house as much as you can and if possible give your son away for a day each week!
When Kitty was born play groups were a god send...do you have these in the states? In the UK, the mum's get together (at a school, church hall etc) chat and have coffee and the kids let off steam, play with toys, do a craft, have a snack etc.

Before I went on Maternity leave, DS was in full time day care. I decided to leave him in 2 days a week - mainly to keep something consistent for him. I'm so pleased I did as it gave us both a bit of breathing space, making the days either side so much better! I was really lucky and my mum offered to have Kitty on one of those days every other week... this was fab as I was able to get the house reasonably straight!

Final tip for your Hubby... warn him now that when he gets in from work he needs to ask what you want him to do. You can bet on the days he comes in and scoops up the children and starts playing, they have been angels and you are overwhelmed with love and want to play too. However, on the day when you have been pulling your hair out since 10am, he will walk in and annouce proudly he is cooking dinner - the one thing you have wanted to do as it will give you 30 minutes to yourself! He can't win!

 

[princessmeshelle]

Final tip for your Hubby... warn him now that when he gets in from work he needs to ask what you want him to do. You can bet on the days he comes in and scoops up the children and starts playing, they have been angels and you are overwhelmed with love and want to play too. However, on the day when you have been pulling your hair out since 10am, he will walk in and annouce proudly he is cooking dinner - the one thing you have wanted to do as it will give you 30 minutes to yourself! He can't win!

that is great advice, maybe i should tell mine what i want him to do...

 

[kreaser]

Include the toddler where ever possible. I had a 7 yr old, 5 yr.old, and 2 1/2 year old when my twins were born! My 2 year old was a handful. I nursed the twins so I tried to have things for the others to do, while I was feeding them..which seemed like all the time. The most important thing is, to tell yourself every stage they go through is "just temporary" and you will get through it. I really worked hard on telling myself I wanted to enjoy every day because they really do grow up so quickly!!! And it is sooooo true. I started PC when the twins turned 1 and have been doing it for 10 years. They are now 18, 16, 13, and 11twins. Take each day and enjoy!!!! You will live through it...
We all do!!

 

[Jess_K]

just do it. tired or not. your oldest comes first when both are crying. share bed time duties with hubby. snag a few minutes alone with oldest each day if there is anyone to help you. or snooze. power cook! i chop up all my veggies and onions/peppers and store them in containers until i need them. when you're able to slip away from the infant for one afternoon or night, rejoice. when it gets to be too much, take a deep breath. it will pass. take it one day at a time. tears are allowed. your children love you today and tomorrow.

ok this is so TRUE ! I love this... I'll have to remember it for myself.. I have a 4 and 2 1/2 yr old. Best of luck to you, it all falls into place.



my favorite song.. it's a country one.. not sure of the title.. this might be it..
. "You're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back."