Does Anyone Else's Dh Have Issues About Nc? (Long)

[Karen]

I seem to be having the same "downer" feelings as well. There's been a little excitement since I registered, however I have not had the "I can't wait to go" sensation. I have two newer recruits and one of them is going this year, so I am excited to see her reactions; the other plans to go next year, but just her excitement in her business keeps me going.

The last time I went to conference was 2 years ago and DH had problems with that. It seemed to sneak up too fast and when he said "I don't want you to go", I didn't realize that he really meant it. Needless to say, I left NC on day 2 and came home, it wasn't worth it for me to stay. For some reason, he was having the feeling that I left and was NEVER coming home (I should mention that's how his ex initiated their divorce in the past.) even though we've been married for 13 years this past Tuesday. I didn't go last year and was miserable at home when I knew everyone else was there. The beginning of this year I started talking about it and asked about it and even said "if it's going to cause problems then I won't go" and I asked if he wanted to go with me.

Everything has been fine until last night when he finally realized that my return flight lands around 12:15 am. He got a little upset and said he's just worried that something will go wrong or something will happen. It's great to know he cares that much about me and will miss me when I'm gone, however it does take the air right out of my sails and last night I had have a notion to just cancel everything! I just reassured him that we are traveling to and from conference in a large group (8 people) and we always stay together and take PC buses to and from the hotel and McCormick Place. I hope now things are okay and we can talk about it and I can start getting excited. I was almost there, until last night.

Does anyone else have a DH who supports them in all other areas of their business but isn't really "crazy" about the NC idea? I keep reminding myself and him that it's only 4 days and 3 nights (3 of those days I'd be at work anyhow). I need lots of inspiration and reassurance that I'm doing the right thing!!!

 

[dannyzmom]

Maybe you could get him a copy of "Come to the Basement: How to Thrive as a Pampered Chef Spouse" by Jay Christopher.

 

[chefjeanine]

Sounds like he has some non-Pampered Chef related anxiety issues. Perhaps something that he needs to work out in a bigger picture. Do you ever get away (other than NC) without him? I bet if you do (did) he would have the same reaction.

I tell my husband that it is always more difficult for the person who gets left at home. . .the ordinary schedule is out of whack. I don't miss him when I'm at NC, I'm busy. I used to have a hard time with my husband going away on business but the more he goes the easier it gets. I just plan stuff for me to do (meals that I like that he won't eat, visiting friends, watching movies I like) and the time goes more quickly.

He needs to know that attending is important to YOU and that you will be coming back.

I'm shocked that you left conference early. With my personality, I would have been angry that he was interrupting something important to me.

 

[ljeffries]

I don't mean this to be ugly, but...
I really think that is an issue that is deeper than Chef Success can solve! You need to remind him that you are not his ex. Does he control your other comings and goings and how long you can or can't be out of the house? What about when you leave to do parties? Go to the grocery store? If you were going to leave, seems as though you would have plenty of other opportunities.

Again, I don't mean this to be harsh, it's just that these types of situations really scare me.

eta: obviously Jeanine and I were typing at the same time....

 

[Oklabell]

My Dh gets the opposite of home sick when I am gone. But if he has problems bad enough let him go with you. I travel with my DH sometimes and even though he is gone all day I can still sleep in the same room. me and Dh trust each other very much but we both get homesick when either of us is gone.

But don't let it stop you from going because no body will win. If he gets upset he will get over it if not than oh well at least you know. You can always leave your cell phone off during the day because of meetings and events.

 

[Karen]

I don't mean this to be ugly, but...
I really think that is an issue that is deeper than Chef Success can solve! You need to remind him that you are not his ex. Does he control your other comings and goings and how long you can or can't be out of the house? What about when you leave to do parties? Go to the grocery store? If you were going to leave, seems as though you would have plenty of other opportunities.

Again, I don't mean this to be harsh, it's just that these types of situations really scare me.

eta: obviously Jeanine and I were typing at the same time....

Thanks for the input, but I really wasn't looking for Chef Success to solve anything. I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced anything similar. However, he does not have issues with me doing shows or going elsewhere and I have been to Conference twice before (this will be my 4th time attending) without any issues.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I'm sorry he is not making this exciting for you. My sister has the same problem w/her husband. She used to live in Calif. Even though she had the money to come home every year to visit, she only came 2 times in 13 years because he would get too nervous when she was gone! His first wife left him as well so maybe there are some issues there.

He is okay w/her going out w/her friends, etc., but just not the long trips. I find it very strange becuase my husband isn't like that. He misses me when I'm gone and is always really happy when I return, but not so nervous he doesn't eat, calls all the time, etc.

I would tell your husband how you are feeling like you told us. He has told you how he feels. You shouldn't just say, "Do you want me to cancel." Tell him how you want to go and are excited. Tell him why.

Good luck,

 

[KaryCam]

Yeah my husband has a problem with me going to NC.

But I think it is more related to he doesn't want to do it all himself while I am gone. It's just too inconvenient for him.

Even with me making sure the laundry and grocery shopping are all done. He has very easy meals available that he can prepare and whatever else I can do to help him, it's just not enough.

He still won't be taking DS to piano. And now I am hearing that I am leaving during a busy time at his work.

Why do you think I easily agreed to extra days away. Conference starts on Monday and I'm flying in on Saturday. He hasn't exactly realized that yet.

To be fair, hubby is a nice guy. Good provider, loyal, etc. He just tries to put off what he can. I just need a rest, some me fun time.
Another reason I talked Morfia into the Chocolate Tour.

 

[chefsteph07]

Sounds like he has some non-Pampered Chef related anxiety issues. Perhaps something that he needs to work out in a bigger picture. Do you ever get away (other than NC) without him? I bet if you do (did) he would have the same reaction.

I tell my husband that it is always more difficult for the person who gets left at home. . .the ordinary schedule is out of whack. I don't miss him when I'm at NC, I'm busy. I used to have a hard time with my husband going away on business but the more he goes the easier it gets. I just plan stuff for me to do (meals that I like that he won't eat, visiting friends, watching movies I like) and the time goes more quickly.

He needs to know that attending is important to YOU and that you will be coming back.

I'm shocked that you left conference early. With my personality, I would have been angry that he was interrupting something important to me.

I totally agree w/ this statement.

My DH is pretty insecure at times...HOWEVER, he knows that NC is a nonissue. I will NOT discuss not going. It has enhanced my business so much, and he knows that. I would NEVER leave in the middle to appease him. If he is insecure that you are not giong to come back, like his other wife, then he needs to get some therapy to deal with HIS issues.

 

[mamidu]

My husband wasn't too thrilled about the idea of me going to NC either. We have 3 kids that are with me almost 24/7. When I am gone, he has to make sure they are taken care of. When he has to work, HE has to find someone to watch them. Usually he stays home when the kids and I go on vacation, and he still gets upset. I decided in May when I went on a trip to see family that only the baby and I went on that no matter what he said, or how mad he got I was going. Then it was my family and an opportunity I don't get very often. Now, it's a time I can help MY business!
About 2 or 3 weeks before I would leave for a trip, my husband would start being kind of nasty. By the time I was ready to leave for my trip, we would always be fighting. Never a good situation for the kids. But we would always go on our vacation and have a good time. The only time I ever get away is to see family. And, I have gone on 3 business training seminars with my old job.

So, I would say go. You need to do this for you! If anything, it will make your relationship stronger.
I should also add, my husband hasn't started fighting with me on this one yet. I think after our LONG discussion in May helped.
I started PC in January and haven't made any monumental progress with it. At one point, I was ready to give up. (my DH family thinks I am a failure and no matter what I do, it's never good enough) But, I decided, this is MY business and I am NOT ready to give up! This is something for ME, and this is something that I WANT TO DO!

Good Luck in whatever you decide!

 

[DebbieJ]

I'm shocked that you left conference early. With my personality, I would have been angry that he was interrupting something important to me.

Me too. Heck, I was out with my sisters yesterday and DH kept calling me and I was totally annoyed. He knew I was out with them, so he should have just left me alone!

 

[dannyzmom]

Is bringing DH with you an option?
The first year I went, I was totally nervous about going (by myself, new city, flying alone, getting a cab, etc)...so DH came with me and we made it a little vacation. We arrived a day early and stayed a day late so we could see the city, etc.
The 2nd year, he came with em again but I was feeling a bit more independent. Last year I came by myself and had a great time..missed him, but had a great time. This year, again, I am going alone. Maybe see if he'd like to come with you?