Cousin Getting Married, Didn't Do a Pampered Chef Registry

[babywings76]

I just want to vent...

My cousin got engaged. She and her fiance are in their late 30's and both have their separate apartments fully furnished, etc. As an engagement gift, my mom wanted me to get her a GC for PC from all of us (mom, me, 2 sisters). I gave her a catalog and the GC. She was really excited about it. She said she loves PC and they love to cook. She ended up placing an order to redeem the GC. Meanwhile, they created 2 registries and sent out their invitations announcing them. They are Crate and Barrel and Macys. So I go and look at what they registered for and it's all stuff we carry. So I'm a bit sad that she didn't create a PC registry, but I can understand if maybe she had whatever reasons.

So here we (mom, me, 2 sisters) are all trying to decide what to get her for her bridal shower and we're torn. Do we go w/ getting her bedding, linens, or get her PC comparable items of what she had registered for. Since I'll get commission on it, I'd ask my family to only pay me the reduced price to zero out my commission.

I hate to buy her another companies products knowing that ours are better. But I want to respect her wishes, so do I just go with what she ordered and say nothing. Or avoid buying things that are what we carry. Or get her PC stuff and just let her know that she can return them if she's not pleased w/ their performance.

This could be enough to count as a small catty show for me and help me be active this month, since I don't know if my other catty show w/ a friend is going to pan out.

 

[cathyskitchen]

My cousin is getting married in Sept. and didn't register for PC, either. She had a salad spinner on her registry at Bloomingdale's, but ours is much better (it was the OXO brand), so I got her that plus the Super Salads cookbook for her bridal shower and she loved it! I'm not sure what I'm getting her for her wedding yet, but she registered for SS cookware, so I may have to get her the 12" pan!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Does your cousin know that we have a registry? Did you offer to do a PC bridal shower for her?

 

[chefcharity]

I say get her the PC products. It might have been others encouraging her to register with places like that. You just don't know. My sis wanted a PC shower, but her husband didn't - so no shower. You want her to have the best quality anyhow... go with your own! JMO

 

[babywings76]

Does your cousin know that we have a registry? Did you offer to do a PC bridal shower for her?

Yep! When I gave her the catalog I told her that if she sees a lot of things she'd like that we also do registries. I didn't want to be pushy, so I guess it's my fault for not calling her a few days later to see if she liked what she saw and if she'd like to register or do a bridal shower w/ PC. It's totally my fault. I shouldn't be so scared to ask. But I get nervous to seem like a salesperson to my family I don't want them to think I'm tacky. But that's just my hangup and I need to not think that way and just get over it.

But I did mention it.

 

[esavvymom]

I vote for the PC Products. Why WOULDN'T you spend money on a product you believe in? And you know she loves PC already...so go for it. You aren't making any money on the deal, so they can't say you are doing it for that reason. She'll thank you later- even if she doesn't know it now. She may not have realized how the registry worked and thought it'd be more convenient for folks to go to a store. Personally, I wouldn't register at places THAT expensive and expect my guests/friends to shop there! Most people will look at the registry and then go to somewhere affordable and by comparible items anyway (I do that! Sorry..they may WANT Waterford Crystal...but they won't get it from ME. Target Crystal has lasted me for 12 years and just fine! )

 

[pamperedlinda]

Well, that just sucks Amanda!

btw - not sure that I would buy them another brand of an item that they registered for w/o checking with them first. Could be that they really want that particular brand - or maybe need it to match something.

Maybe you can get her to host a show after the wedding to fill her kitchen with all the products she didn't get.

 

[cathyskitchen]

I have the kind of relationship with my cousin where I actually told her at the shower that PC's salad spinner was better than the one she registered for, and she responded "Really? Ok, great! Thank you!" She's already used it and loves it, too.

 

[DebbieJ]

Yeah, you should have asked her. But that's in the past.I would totally give her comparable stuff from PC. You know it's better.

 

[leftymac]

I would get her PC stuff too, but the only problem with that is that the other stuff is still listed on her registry, then she might have duplicates.

 

[jwpamp]

EVERYONE gets PC gifts from me...they can register where ever they like, but they know that I give only the BEST!

 

[Intrepid_Chef]

My cousin did the SAME THING. I even sent her an e-mail suggesting that she do a registry ... she agreed and talked about doing a PC shower ... I sent her another e-mail about how to register ... and next thing I know she's sending me a shower invite with her registry card to Bed, Bath and Beyond.I figured she is just young and is being swept along by our big, extended family planning things for her.I looked on their web site, found her registry, and checked for things she'd registered for. I promptly bought a smooth-edge can opener from PC that is similar and unlike theirs, has a guarantee! I will send a quick note and explain that ours is guaranteed and I'll be happy to answer any questions on how to use it.One thing you do need to remember is that you should respect her color choices. For instance, I didn't get her any dotts or windopane placemats because her colors were black, white and taupe. I'm hesitant to toss a silicone basting brush in there (another item she registered for) because the tip is red and doesn't match those colors. I'm thinking of giving her a bread knife at her wedding because it's the old style and is black.ETA: I'm not too concerned about duplicates because I figure everybody could use an extra can opener ... one for the office, one for the house, one for the camper ....

 

[janetupnorth]

I've had the same situation with 2 close cousins already. Explained the whole registry, etc. Sometimes it isn't them, sometimes it is the future spouse who wants certain things. Sometimes they don't want "too many registries". There are all kinds of reasons. You can't take it personally. These same cousins are still customers of mine. I gave them PC stuff for their wedding gifts still. My one cousin fell in love with her 5" forged cutlery knife I gave her and just called and gave me her CC# to purchase the boning knife at full price. If I took the registry thing personally, I'd be bitter about it and not as willing to talk about PC with her. Instead, I pretended like it didn't happen and move on and they are learning to love PC more and more.We can't read into these things and let them bother us, especially with family and friends. ...just keep providing good customer service and move on.Personally, I wouldn't even be thinking gifts would make a show for me or me active for the month. A gift is a gift. It shouldn't be considered as making or breaking a business. Would you think the same way about a baby shower? Also, you still can ask her if she wants a PC registry or PC shower. Talk to your family and approach her and say our side of the family wants to throw a PC kitchen shower for you...are you interested in that from us? Doesn't sound like your opportunities are over. If she says yes, great! If not, ask her what kind of shower she would like from you guys and give it to her. Serve her needs, not yours and she'll remember that in the future!

 

[pckellyd]

I would def. give her PC products and not worry about the duplicates. She can always return the products she gets dups of and replace them w/ other things from her registry she didn't get.

 

[janetupnorth]

ETA: I'm not too concerned about duplicates because I figure everybody could use an extra can opener ... one for the office, one for the house, one for the camper ....

OK, I am concerned that you use a can opener in the office?!?!?!?!

 

[pampcheflisa]

I would get her PC stuff too, but the only problem with that is that the other stuff is still listed on her registry, then she might have duplicates.

The good thing about chain places and their registries is that most have a pretty good return policy. For instance, I got 3 Brita's from Target, so I kept one and took 2 back. So, if she got the bride a smooth edge can opener and then got a can opener from the place she registered, most likely the bride could take back the store brand opener and exchange it for something else on the registry that she didn't get. Might be a tad bit inconvenient, but the way I looked it was, that I could exchange for things I KNEW I was going to need vs. things I thought were cute or just wanted!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

If you know where someone it registered, you can go there and report that an item on the registry list has been acquired, even if the item isn't from that retailer. Most retailers will allow updating the registry.When it comes to PC (and most other things, too) family will break your heart far more than your friends will.

 

[leftymac]

If you know where someone it registered, you can go there and report that an item on the registry list has been acquired, even if the item isn't from that retailer. Most retailers will allow updating the registry.

When it comes to PC (and most other things, too) family will break your heart far more than your friends will.

That's the god-honest truth. I've learned to not rely on either for the success of my business.

 

[raebates]

My suggestion is to get them something from their registry that's not kitchen related (or at least not something similar to PC). When my SIL got married a few years ago, she and her groom did a PC registry as an afterthought. It was one of 5 registries, so not many people ordered from the PC one. As a matter of fact, she didn't do the PC registry until after her showers. Since they didn't have even $150 in orders, it didn't really benefit them. The Furry Guy and I got their wedding gift from the PC registry, but her shower gift I got from their Bed, Bath & Beyond registry. I just steered clear of anything that might conflict with a PC product. Someone got her a food chopper from BB&B. My SIL looked at me and said that she told her groom they should wait and register for the PC one, but he said they're all the same. I told her that was just fine. They could order one from me when that one breaks. Six months later they did.

 

[DebbieJ]

If you know where someone it registered, you can go there and report that an item on the registry list has been acquired, even if the item isn't from that retailer. Most retailers will allow updating the registry.

Yes, I did this for my brother and SIL last year. They didn't register with me because they didn't need much. They had a small registry at Target that had a Double Burner Griddle on it. I bought them ours instead and called Target and had them mark it as fulfilled.

 

[kdangel518]

It's a gift. She should be grateful for the gift, regardless of whether or not it was purchased from her registry. You are still getting her the products she wanted, just not from the store she registered at. You could easily go to Target or Kohls and get her some of the kitchen items on her registry and she wouldn't know when she received it!

Trust me, this is spoken from a recent bride, lol.

I would absolutely buy her the PC items. Do it. If she REALLY doesn't want them, then she can exchange them for something else from PC. But I highly doubt that will happen!

 

[AnnieBee]

Honestly, I wouldn't order PC equivalents. I know when I got married, it was a little frustrating when people didn't buy off the registry... I know it's the thought that counts, and if someone bought me a handmade pottery bowl or something else unique I would love it, but if I registered for a certain brand of a kitchen item (especially if I wanted a matched set) I'd be frustrated if they bought me a different brand equivalent, even if they felt it was "better" - especially if it was something they sold. I'd feel like they were looking out for their business more than really trying to buy me a gift I would appreciate. I think looking at the registry and then doing your own version of it is worse than just ignoring it to buy a nice silver picture frame, for example. If they chose a specific item, then buy that one, or like Rae (I think ) said, buy a non kitchen item.

I do think it would be OK to ask them about it. For example, "I noticed that you registered for an X. I honestly think the PC one is better quality, would you mind if I chose that version. But if you prefer the one you registered for, please let me know so I can get the one you really want."

Just my opinion though...

 

[pamperedlinda]

I agree with you Annabel.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

My standard Wedding gift is a PC Gift Certificate.

We usually get a thank-you note that tells us what they purchased. Surprisingly, one of the items that is picked the most is the Trifle Bowl. I've been told more than once that it's something they'd always wanted. When they tell me that, I send them trifle recipes.

 

[Intrepid_Chef]

I agree ... to a point! I personally would not ask in advance, because why give away in advance what you're giving her? I'd simply enclose a note in her card, letting her know that you hope she'd enjoy the PC equivalent because it's guaranteed. But if she doesn't want it, you'll gladly exchange it for her. In my case, it matches the other things she registered for, and it comes in very handy for busy people!

 

[Teresa Lynn]

I also would respect their registries and not substitute PC
you did offer the registry but it is their choice and I would select something from their list at the stores they selected.

 

[janetupnorth]

I agree with Annabel too. A bride registers for what she wants - honor that. We may think (or know) the PC version is better but she wants what she wants. No need to risk a relationship for your business. They may take it as you looking out for yourself not them.A GC is fine because they can then choose but a direct substitution can be taken bad by some.

 

[diradt]

I know our products are better but IMO, get something off her registry that is not kitchen related. You don't want to make your family members feel OBLIGATED to buy from you. If your aunt and mom or whoever want to purchase from PC, then I would do what someone else mentioned---call the place where she registered and let them know one was purchased.

But the gift with your name on it: I wouldn't do PC. It may benefit you but it looks tacky and if she comments to her best friend---who says something to her neighbor---pretty soon you're the psycho PC lady in the neighborhood. Encourage your mom etc to order PC, just steer clear for you in particular!