Considering Expanding Our Family: A Personal Journey

[KellyTheChef]

DH and I have three kids between us. He has a DD (15) DS (12) and we have DS together (2.5). Well, last fall I mentioned to him that we already had met our deductable for our medical insurance, and that he should go get snipped. (He had been saying 3 kids was plenty and I had FINALLY gotten it into my head that Evan would be MY only baby...) So then, he says, well....maybe we shouldn't do anything permenant right now. Uh, OK. So, I have been on my BC pills since then. Mind you, they are $47!!!! Why insurance companies will PAY for you to HAVE A BABY...but won't pay the small amount per month for you to NOT have one is beyond me! Ok, back to the subject!

Anyhow, he picked up my BC pills for this month on Thursday. (I should have started them last night...) We are going to bed that night and he says: "Maybe you shouldn't take your pills anymore. Too bad we just wasted that money!" Well, that led us into a big discussion about getting pregnant again. I called the pharmacy Friday and they are OK with taking them back (he works in their building so they know him, plus they are totally sealed)

Sooooooooooo.........no more pills for me!

I think I am more anxious about having another one than I was about having Evan! We are in a 3 BR house and all three are filled (DSD 15, doesn't live with us) We are in one, DSS (12) is in another, and Evan (2.5) is in the third. We are NOT moving. If we would have another boy, he could go in with Evan. If we have a girl, I think we would have to build a BR downstairs for hubby and I and baby girl would go upstairs in our room.

I started to get worried and nervous and then I just prayed about it. If God has in His plan for us to get pregnant, then it will happen. If He wants it to happen, He will provide a bedroom and $$$ for the extra expenses. I am just going to trust in Him and enjoy the rest!

I haven't said anything to friends and family yet. Not sure if I want to be asked "are you pregnant?" every time we see people. They all waited sooooooooooo long for me to have Evan, they will be ALL OVER it if we have another! (I am 35 now...) So, I needed to share it with all of you!!

Sorry so long!

 

[pamperedpals]

Kelly, God will truly provide for and your family if He decides it is time to add another bundle of joy to your family.

 

[StacieB]

Best of l uck to you Kelly. I agree, you are only given w hat you can handle!!

 

[LBurke]

That's AWESOMEGood luck! How exciting! Let us know how things go. And isn't it amazing how they just change their minds on this subject all of a sudden? My husband's the same way!
We are in a similar situation. We have Logan, 2 1/2, and are getting ready to try for #2 (I should get the ok today to stop taking the meds that are keeping us from trying - had lasik surgery in May and a stinking eye drop set off our plans all summer!) We have a 3 bed room which means when #2 comes along, I loose my office!
OH, and my insurance company won't cover my BC unless I get it at their pharmacies, which are only at their clinics and none of which have drive-thrus. I can get 3 mo at a time, but still have to make a special trip there, get my sleeping toddler out of the car -cause that's ALWAYS the way it works out - (in the AZ heat) and walk into the building to get it. ARGH! I have the same thought you do about not covering the pills but covering the birth/ultrasounds/baby etc. everytime I go!

 

[raebates]

Best wishes, Kelly. Have fun trying.

 

[chefkristin]

That is so great!! You are right. If its meant to happen it will! Just don't stress about it. Relax and enjoy trying! I am also 35 and trying to decide if we want another. We live in a 2 bedroom condo so I am not quite sure how that would work. I told my husband that if we do have another I will not work full time because daycare is REDICULOUS!!!!

 

[yummybytes]

Good Luck, Kelly!!!! Hope you get lots of practice in before the um.. big bang?

It was said before though -- God will provide. Have absolute faith!

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

Oh Kelly, how awesome. You know that if it is God's plan, it will happen! Either way, it's a win-win. You either save some money or you get another blessing. LOL!

 

[amy07]

If He wants it to happen, He will provide a bedroom and $$$ for the extra expenses. I am just going to trust in Him and enjoy the rest!

That made me laugh!!

 

[jenniferknapp]

Good luck Kelly!

 

[baychef]

So happy for you and your family, Kelly!! Yes, best to wait on telling the family...they will want to know more information than you'll want to share !!

Now, just a question. This has always irked me that insurance will not pay towards BC pills. Now, do they pay for Viagara? Probably, because that is a "medical" condition!!!

 

[yummy4tummy]

I haven't said anything to friends and family yet. Not sure if I want to be asked "are you pregnant?" every time we see people.

Now you'll just get to hear it from everyone on CS. Best of luck in your new adventure.

 

[Cassie1037]

*The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God could not keep you.*

Good luck, and have fun!

 

[jrstephens]

Good luck Kelly!!! My husband and I are trying too. He is really enjoying the "trying" part, HAHAHA!!!!

I know everything will happen for you in God's timing and will; and He Will provide for y'all.

Also, I love a website called http://www.babyzone.com. It even has a calendar that you can fill out for ovulation and stuff. I like playing around with it. And it has a due date calendar too that I like playing around with.

The way things sounds a lot of us on here may be pregnant together like it has been in the past with others!!! Something else to bring us all closer together than we already are.

 

[janetupnorth]

Kelly - That'll be neat for Evan to have a little brother or sister.

Here are some things to ease your mind. We live in a 2 bedroom house and our 2 little ones share a bedroom with a bunkbed...6 year old girl and 3 year old boy. They are fine. They both head to the bathroom at separate times to get dressed in the morning, usually never change in the bedroom, but knock for each other if they do.

Before that we had both the crib and the toddler bed in the little room and it worked fine.

We know we'll have to make a room in our basement or something to separate them as they get older, but note, you do have time!

Second thing, my SIL just had a little boy at age 36 (after the car accident that broke both her ankles). She is doing fairly well.

Granted, I don't want another one at this age, but many do and you'll be just fine!

I wish you a healthy and happy pregnancy (to come!)

 

[Dawn4]

Best of luck, health and happiness!!!

 

[lacychef]

Best of luck to you Kelly

 

[KellyTheChef]

]*The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God could not keep you.*[/B]

Good luck, and have fun!

That is a beautiful quote, thanks!

Thanks everyone for the well-wishes! I really needed to tell someone about this and my Mom would have been the one I could have talked to. Most of you know (but some probably don't) that I lost my mom last June...so no more confiding in her. Well...yes, I do "talk" to her but she sure doesn't answer me!!

God got me through that loss one day at a time, and he will move us through this next part of our lives (hopefully including pregnancy!) one day at a time too!

Janet~ Thanks for the heads up on the bedroom arrangement! I guess it really wouldn't matter if we put a little girl in with Evan in the same room...I just fear that a baby would totally mess up his sleeping...perhaps we will just leave the baby in our room for quite some time. Lots of things to think about if we have another!

I am sure we will have fun trying, no matter what! Last time, though, I think it pretty much happened on try #1! (Sorry if anyone is having troubles...not meaning to rub it in.) Guess we can just keep on "trying" no matter what!

 

[jrstephens]

Also, I love a website called http://www.babyzone.com.

Why did the website address I listed automatically turn to this?

 

[MomToEli]

Happy family growing, Kelly! And don't worry about your age. I had Eli when I was 41. The pregnancy was easy, the birth was fine (c-section), and because of issues I'd had trying to have him and because of my "advanced maternal age" (humpf!) I got to have ultrasounds every week from 4 weeks to 27 weeks Anyway, you are far from "old", especially by today's mommy standards.

And God is in charge anyway. If HE thinks you're not fit, it won't happen.

 

[JaimeQ]

Best wishes to you

 

[KellyTheChef]

Happy family growing, Kelly! And don't worry about your age. I had Eli when I was 41. The pregnancy was easy, the birth was fine (c-section), and because of issues I'd had trying to have him and because of my "advanced maternal age" (humpf!) I got to have ultrasounds every week from 4 weeks to 27 weeks Anyway, you are far from "old", especially by today's mommy standards.

And God is in charge anyway. If HE thinks you're not fit, it won't happen.

I am not overly concerned about the physical part of it...more about where to put a baby in our house, the extra expense, my business slowing down to a crawl for a long time again, etc. (Hubby is VERY nervous with small children...even though he has been through this THREE times now! He says when they are old enough to tell him what they need, he feels better! Humph...then we have one that is 2.5 and not speaking!! )

Plus- and I probably already know everyones answers- but how will I love a new baby as much as Evan? How can I have to need even MORE patience than I already struggle to have?!

 

[MomToEli]

Plus- and I probably already know everyones answers- but how will I love a new baby as much as Evan? How can I have to need even MORE patience than I already struggle to have?!

If God chooses you to be another baby's momma, He will also give you all you need to fulfill the task...

 

[KellyTheChef]

If God chooses you to be another baby's momma, He will also give you all you need to fulfill the task...

I know that in my heart...but my head is making me question!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Hey Kelly,Are you pregnant yet? (HeeHeeHee - sorry, just had to do it! )I think it is wonderful that you are taking a step of faith and trying for another baby! And that your DH is on board! So many times in life I have worried and fretted - because of what God was asking me to do, or because of where I was in my life - I just couldn't see how it would all work out. I have learned that at the times when things are clear as mud to me - God is behind the scene working all things out for my good! You know that children are a blessing and gift from God - so you can also be sure in the fact that God is already there working it all out for you! May God grant you a beautiful healthy pregnancy that ends with a beautiful healthy baby!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Hey Kelly,

Are you pregnant yet? (HeeHeeHee - sorry, just had to do it! )

I think it is wonderful that you are taking a step of faith and trying for another baby! And that your DH is on board! So many times in life I have worried and fretted - because of what God was asking me to do, or because of where I was in my life - I just couldn't see how it would all work out. I have learned that at the times when things are clear as mud to me - God is behind the scene working all things out for my good! You know that children are a blessing and gift from God - so you can also be sure in the fact that God is already there working it all out for you! May God grant you a beautiful healthy pregnancy that ends with a beautiful healthy baby!

Thanks Becky! Funny God-thing: when we were trying to get pregnant with Even, we were also thinking about moving from Ohio to SC to be closer to DH's daughter, who lives in FL. (SC is also where my bro and SIL are!!) Anyhow, we really thought the move would be coming quickly, so we discussed me going BACK on the pill and waiting. I prayed about it and decided that I needed to step back and allow God to make the choice....come to find out, I was PREGNANT already- so our discussion was settled for us! It is sooooooooo great knowing that I can just sit back and relax about all of this since He already knows our future!

 

[dcypcar.chef]

I don't know what insurance you all have, but we have awful insurance and they pay for mine. I pay co-pay, but have never had a problem.

 

[pamperedtara]

I am so excited for you! As for the love thing, I remember feeling that way when I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd child. I remember that the instant my first child was born, my entire perspective of the world changed - what was important, what was dangerous, ...... Nothing anyone had said up until that time could have prepared me for that moment. You will find that the same is true with the love for each new child; it is as if in that very moment you feel your heart expand with a new part just for that child. I actually remember being excited about that when it was time for my 3rd one to be born - or maybe I was just incredibly sleep deprived and ready for the drugs. #3 was born 3 weeks before #1's 3rd birthday - yep, 3 in 3 years!!!

Just think of how many of us God has to love and we know that he doesn't love any one of us more than the other; you will find that you just have more love to give.

As for the money, the space.....trust that God will provide. If we waited until we had enough money, a big enough house, or the time was right, none of us would ever have children!! Besides, your PC business is more established now, & I'm sure you will have some more than willing friends to do catalog shows while you are recovering. I will be praying for you in this exciting time! Have fun trying!!

 

[pamperedape]

This is GREAT news!!! Congratulations on your decision and blessings on the journey!!!!!!!!!!

 

[pamperedape]

I didn't read the second page before I posted so I missed the part about loving the second -

I TOTALLY feel you on that!!!!! I have a 4 yr. old and a 3 month old and I was just worried sick that I would never feel the same about the new baby as I did his older brother. Everyone told me that I would, and not to worry, but I just didn't think that they QUITE understood HOW VERY much I love Noah. Turns out - they were right and MAN do I ever love Jonah just as much. It is an amazing thing - motherhood.

Now I'm all weepy... the hormones are still out of whack...

 

[KellyTheChef]

I didn't read the second page before I posted so I missed the part about loving the second -

I TOTALLY feel you on that!!!!! I have a 4 yr. old and a 3 month old and I was just worried sick that I would never feel the same about the new baby as I did his older brother. Everyone told me that I would, and not to worry, but I just didn't think that they QUITE understood HOW VERY much I love Noah. Turns out - they were right and MAN do I ever love Jonah just as much. It is an amazing thing - motherhood.

Now I'm all weepy... the hormones are still out of whack...

I remember those days...and nights...of crying for any and all reasons or no reason at all!! Thank God that doesn't last forever! If you ever need to talk, just PM or email me!

 

[quiverfull7]

Kelly... I am SO excited for you... as the mom of 7 ... in a 4 bedroom home... you can do it! It will all work out. I have my 3 year old in one room, my 9 year old DS & 11 year old DD in one room and this summer the 18, 20 & 22 year old in one room. My oldest is married with 2 adorable girls. So PLEASE know that you can work out the arrangements and any hassles that the rooming causes are far outweighed by the blesssing of a child. My quiver if full... but just the thought of pregnancy still excites me. I was 18 with my first and 42 with my last.. you can handle it! Praise God... may He bless you with His second most marvelous gift!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Kelly... I am SO excited for you... as the mom of 7 ... in a 4 bedroom home... you can do it! It will all work out. I have my 3 year old in one room, my 9 year old DS & 11 year old DD in one room and this summer the 18, 20 & 22 year old in one room. My oldest is married with 2 adorable girls. So PLEASE know that you can work out the arrangements and any hassles that the rooming causes are far outweighed by the blesssing of a child. My quiver if full... but just the thought of pregnancy still excites me. I was 18 with my first and 42 with my last.. you can handle it! Praise God... may He bless you with His second most marvelous gift!

I really understand what you mean! I sooooooooo want to be pregnant again! I was really depressed thinking that I may have only gotten to experience that once in my life. And so glad that DH wants us to try again! It certainly isn't cuz my pregnancy was a "breeze" (had normal aches and pains, heartburn, morning sickness, etc.) but it was more the fact that it was such a MIRACLE growing inside of me! Such an amazing thing to experience! God's creation is marvelous!

 

[susan g]

You will probably be surprised by what your toddler can sleep through. Our
3rd shares a room with his big brother and has since he was 5 or 6 wks old and his crying never woke up either of our older 2 children. Also, I agree that having a boy/girl room sharing situation wouldn't be a problem for a really long time. My dd has a room to herself and constantly complains that everyone in our family has a "room mate" except for her! She ends up sleeping over with her little brothers almost every weekend! Good luck!

 

[baigaj]

Good Luck Kelly! My DH and I are trying for #2 also. We have a 2 1/2 year old little boy and I just turned 36. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully it will happen as quickly as last time.

 

[LBurke]

Any updates Kelly?

 

[KellyTheChef]

None...except that I had a period at the end of August.

On the positive side....we are still actively trying!! :blushing: :blushing:

 

[KellyTheChef]

BTW- Thanks so much for asking!!
That made my night that someone was thinking of me!

 

[janetupnorth]

You're going to get pregnant around Thanksgiving so you can have a birthday baby...

 

[chefkristin]

I wish you the best Kelly.

 

[KellyTheChef]

You're going to get pregnant around Thanksgiving so you can have a birthday baby...

Wouldn't it be cool if I had it on YOUR BIRTHDAY! Ha! B-day present to me!

 

[janetupnorth]

Wouldn't it be cool if I had it on YOUR BIRTHDAY! Ha! B-day present to me!

Well, only the best people are born on that day so it'd be pretty cool!





Just think...you'd get a room and breakfast in bed on your birthday.

 

[ljeffries]

None...except that I had a period at the end of August.

On the positive side....we are still actively trying!! :blushing: :blushing:

TMI.....
Just kidding...I get a hoot out of you girls!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Well, only the best people are born on that day so it'd be pretty cool!





Just think...you'd get a room and breakfast in bed on your birthday.

Pretty much being in the hospital is the only way I would EVER expect that one...if it happened any other way, I would probably have a heart attack!! LOL

 

[KellyTheChef]

TMI.....
Just kidding...I get a hoot out of you girls!

Sorry Lamar!

Guess sometimes we should preface our comments with: read with caution...TMI coming up!!

Glad you see the humor in it though!!

 

[ljeffries]

I knew that I could harass you about it...

Have you tried the trivet dress yet? I would think that number would help in the trying department...

 

[KellyTheChef]

I knew that I could harass you about it...

Have you tried the trivet dress yet? I would think that number would help in the trying department...

Now if I answered THAT QUESTION....wouldn't that be TMI?







































LOL

 

[LBurke]

A b-day baby would be fun... I had my son the day after mine.
Have fun trying!!!!! Keep us posted!

 

[Chef Michelle D]

Good luck with making baby #2 it can be a lot of work but at least it's fun!!!

As for insurance companies paying for birth control pills. I worked for an insurance company for 6 years before I had my son 8 years ago. In Massachusetts at least it was up to the company that carried the insurance if they paid for the birth control pills not the insurance company. I know things have changed over the years I have not worked in the industry but I think that might still be the case.

If you still have any birth control pills laying aroud if you put one pill in a gallon of water it's great for your plants. The hormones in the pill make your plants go crazy. My OB told me that years ago when I had to switch pill brands.

 

[janetupnorth]

I knew that I could harass you about it...

Have you tried the trivet dress yet? I would think that number would help in the trying department...

When you're trying to have a kid, you need to get rid of the silcone...er, I mean latex...