What Should I Do About My Son's Behavior in Kindergarten?

[apriljc]

I need some advice from all of you parents. My oldest sone started Kindergarten 2 weeks ago. When I got home from work yesterday there was a message from his teacher letting us know that he fell and hit his eye and cheekbone and they put some ice on it but it should be fine. Today I get a call at work from her again letting me know that while they were eating lunch another kid called him a chicken nugget milk head and so my son gets out of his chair and goes over and bites the other kid onthe leg. My son did get sent to the pricipals office and got his afternoon recess taken away.
When I got home from work he knew that I was not happy because the teacher told him that she had to call his mommy. I sat him down and we had a discussion about how we should never bit or hit andother kid and if he gets called a name to ignore it or tell a teacher. He did get punished a little by not being able to go outside this evening and no tv too.
I hope I did the right thing. He knows what he did was wrong and that his mommy and daddy are sad and disappointed. Any other suggestions on what I could have done differently. I hope his behavior changes. I also have a 3 year old who will start pre-school next week and I hope I don't get any calls from his teacher, he loves to talk back and he has a naughtier dispositon.
Sorry this is so long but had to vent a little. Any advice would be apprediated. I think I am going to get grey hairs at 31.

 

[GeorgiaPeach]

April, Sounds to me like you are on the right track. Starting school can be a major adjustment for all children and they react in different ways. Your son is probably just feeling some stress and struck out when he was teased. All kids do it. My son started middle school this year and has come home twice with diarrhea. When he is stressed he gets an upset stomach.

I'd consider setting up a firm routine, if you don't already have one. At our house homework is done before dinner, lunches are packed after dinner, pack backpacks and put by the door, and pick out an outfit before bed. Bedtime is 8:30, read until 9, and then lights off (my kids have to get up at 6 am).

We've never really had a set routine before but this year I felt it was better for him to know exactly what to expect and when so he can feel like he has some control.

This year we have also focused alot on how we've "got his back", that we support him and are praying for him. When he had trouble with a teacher (she likes to abuse her authority over the kids) we named the people in his life that were standing behind him and were praying for him every morning. You could almost see the relief on his face when he realized that he really isn't walking into the school alone....grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, sister, aunts....were all thinking about him and loved him. Since your son is just a kindergartener you might need to bring that down to his level a bit more but make sure he doesn't feel alone, that his teachers are there to help, the principal, mom, dad, etc and if he feels picked on/bullied he has a whole group of people that want to help him have a good day.

Hang in there! It won't be long until he settles in to the routine. Also, I'd encourage you to volunteer in his school. I did some substitute teaching last year at my son's school. You see a whole different side of the school than you see at open house, PTA, etc. Being in the school makes your child feel special (he knows that his education is important to you) and helps you get a better feel for how things are going.

Might even try a "Pamper the Teachers" day. Bring in some muffins (PC stuff, of course!) and juice, something simple. Helps build a positive relationship between you and the teachers/administration. (And might get you some business!!)

 

[Shawnna]

April:

Did your son attend pre-school? There is a big adjustment from pre-school or being at a childcare center going to Kindergarten. Boys seem to have a tougher time than girls. I think it is because boys naturally want to rough-house. I personally think the teacher could have handled the situation without sending the boy to the principals office. But, then again, it may have scared him enought he won't want to go there again. I think you did fine discussing the situation with him. Name calling is unacceptable and the teacher should speak to the other child as well. I am currently going to college to get a degree in child development...I will graduate in December. There are many textbook lessons on situations such as this, but I think the best way to handle it is for the parent to discuss the situation with the child...perhaps ask him to discuss how he feels and felt during the incident. The first few weeks of school are rough on the teachers, children, and the parents. Adjustment is hard. A Kindergarten class with a lot of boys can be expected to be filled with rough-housing, bumps and bruises, and a frustrated teacher...as well as parents. But, the children will adjust. You did fine.

Sorry this is so long.

 

[Harrle]

We also had an incident at school shortly after our son started kdgtn a couple of years ago and we didn't get a call from the teacher - we got a call from the other Mom! I hung up the phone w/her and we brought our son in to discuss it and turns out they were arguing/fighting over a book, and the principle had to come to the room - turns out they agreed not to tell each of their parents so neither of them would get in trouble. Funny how it was the topic of conversation at the supper table of another classmate and that classmates Mom was friends with and called the other Mom to fill her in - that is when she called me. When I contacted the teacher about it she said it wasn't just the two of them - ALL of the boys were having trouble keeping their hands to themselves throughout the day and this was just the last straw that lead to the principle coming to the room to talk to ALL of the students. I also agree with a previous poster that it does take some adjustment when they first get started and hopefully they will settle down soon.We always turn the situation around and ask our son how he would feel if the tables were turned and he was the one getting hit, bit, teased or whatever it maybe - we always let him know we only want the best for him and for him to have friends in school, and if he chooses to treat people in a bad way not many other kids are going to want to be around him. Treat other people how you would expect them to treat you is something we have told him.Then kicker of the above story is he got in trouble later in the year with the same kid - once again it was his Mom who was the first to let me know! Not saying my son is an angel but after hearing 'the whole' story it sounded like this other kid instigated the situtation! So if I ever hear anything about this other kid I make sure I hear the whole story first!! That would be my other (and last advice - sorry so long) make sure you get the story from all involved - including your child and the teacher or principle or whoever was present for the situation!